Until We Collide

by Charlotte Fallowfield

  ‘O, right. Are you seeing anyone?’ I broke his gaze and looked at my feet as we walked, holding my breath as I waited for his answer. I knew already that if he said “yes”, it was going to hurt. Which was ridiculous when I was in a committed relationship myself.

  ‘Not at the moment. I’ve had a few relationships since I last saw you, but they didn’t work out.’

  ‘Too hard with you jetting off with your job?’ I asked, totally getting that.

  ‘No, they weren’t you.’ He said it so quietly I wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking, surely my ears had just deceived me. ‘It’s a nice day, why don’t we grab some food and go and have a picnic somewhere?’ he suggested, giving me whiplash from the sudden change in direction.

  ‘Sure,’ I agreed, biting my lip as I looked up at him again.

  We headed to a deli that was close by and loaded up with freshly baked olive and walnut bread, some cheeses, pâté and grapes, then a slice of tarte aux pommes each. They gave us some plastic cutlery, two paper plates, and two plastic cups, so we could share a small bottle of white wine, and packed it all up carefully for us. Alec grabbed one of those picnic blankets that rolls into a small carry case as well, then refused to allow me to pay when the bill was totted up. He led the way up Swan Hill towards the town park as he filled me in on the apartment he’d purchased in London for when he was home. My eyes lingered on The Domville hotel as we strolled through the park, looking for a quiet shaded spot to sit.

  ‘It was a great date, wasn’t it?’ he said, flashing me his trademark dimpled smile as he set down the bags.

  ‘It really was,’ I agreed wistfully.

  ‘Sucks we never got to go on any others.’

  ‘It wasn’t our time,’ I reminded him, as he bent over to smooth out the turquoise, orange, and yellow striped picnic blanket.

  ‘Just like it’s not now, since you still live away and have a boyfriend. So, without graphic details of this man in your life, who I already hate, tell me how it’s going?’ he asked.

  We lost track of time as we lay there, eating, drinking, and laughing. I filled him in on some of my catastrophes, because with me there were always plenty. He regaled me with tales of his travels. I was so jealous, he’d seen so much of the world already and really seemed to be making a name for himself. He was close to leaving his mentor, at his persuasion, to branch out on his own completely. He handed me a card for an agency in London that he was already working with exclusively, repeating his insistence that I had what it took to get a job. I joked that he’d do anything to see me in a bikini again, which had him turn an adorable shade of crimson and choke on his wine. Conversation with him just came so easily. The silences as we just looked at each other from time to time weren’t awkward or uncomfortable, but natural, like they’d be with Poppie or Mum or Dad.

  ‘Shit,’ he uttered, leaping to his feet as he checked his watch. ‘I didn’t realise how late it was, I need to get back. We’re going out for a meal to celebrate.’

  ‘God, I’m so sorry to have kept you. I’ve been waffling, as usual.’

  ‘I like your waffle,’ he grinned, bending over to start clearing up the debris.

  ‘And you’re very easy to waffle around, I could do it with you all of the time. Ok, that came out sounding a whole lot more risqué than I meant it to.’

  ‘Everything you say sounds sexy, it’s that voice and the way your lips move. It’s hard to focus on anything else.’

  ‘Ditto,’ I replied as we held each other’s gaze for a moment. Suddenly the British sun seemed almost as scorching as when I was lying on the fine white powdered sand watching Toby snorkelling. I blushed and Alec coughed, both of us looking away at the same time and hastily clearing up. ‘Do you ever wonder whether we’d still have been together?’ I eventually asked as he tucked the rolled-up picnic blanket under his arm.

  ‘I know we would, but I think any hope of that happening now has long passed.’

  ‘Why?’ I asked, looking at him surprised. What had happened to his romantic notion that one day we’d find each other again?

  ‘Because if I was lucky enough to be dating you right now, I’d never let you go, Paige Taylor. I’m over in Frankwell, where are you parked?’ he asked, quickly changing the topic again, while my stomach fluttered at his declaration.

  ‘I’m on the other side of town, Abbey Foregate,’ I replied. He grimaced and checked his watch again.

  ‘I should be ok, give me some of your bags,’ he ordered, trying to take some out of my hands.

  ‘Alec, don’t be silly. You’re obviously already going to be late, it’s too far out of your way. I’m a big girl and this is child’s play. This doesn’t even count as a shopping spree,’ I smiled.

  ‘Seriously? You can buy more than this in one day?’ He looked at me amazed.

  ‘I’m nothing if not a professional,’ I stated. ‘If you’re going to do something, do it well. I may even call into a shop on the way back to get something I saw earlier.’

  ‘Women,’ he laughed. ‘You’re sure you’ll be ok? I feel bad abandoning you.’

  ‘Please, like your mother would forgive you for standing her up on her birthday to help some girl with her shopping bags.’

  ‘I’m sure she would if she met you.’ He reached up to sweep my hair out of my face, then slid his fingers around to the back of my head. ‘It was really great to see you, Paige. I hope it’s not another two years before I bump into you again.’ He leaned in and kissed my temple, the softest of kisses that made me close my eyes and sigh. I dropped my bags again and quickly put my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, not wanting to let go. He dropped his picnic blanket and embraced me back just as hard. We just stood there for a while, clinging to each other like shipwreck survivors would to flotsam. My God, he always smelled so good. I’d love to bottle his smell and spread it on my pillows so I could go to sleep surrounded by him. ‘Did you just sniff my hair?’ he laughed.

  ‘No. Maybe. Yes,’ I relented with a giggle. ‘In my defence, you smell really good. I don’t go around sniffing men’s hair randomly you know, but yours is like … premier league smelling hair, it’s scentsational. It was there, calling to me.’

  ‘God I’ve missed you, you’re a breath of fresh air after all those stuck-up models I’ve dated,’ he sighed, his cheek rubbing against mine for a fraction of a second. I quickly pulled away. I had a boyfriend. How would I feel if Toby was so close to another girl? Seriously annoyed I suspected, but the thought of Alec seeing a bevy of glamour models had my blood boiling. What did that say about my relationship with Toby? Was he just a stand in, a poor substitute for the one man I really wanted?

  ‘You’d better go, or your mother will hunt me down and shoot me,’ I advised, quickly bending to gather my bags.

  ‘Jesus,’ he gasped as I head butted him for the third time that day as he bent to do the same. ‘I swear you’ll knock me out one day. Are you ok?’

  ‘I’ll be fine,’ I winced, rubbing the same patch on my head that now had a small egg-shaped swelling. ‘Go, before I assault you again and make you even later. Thanks for a lovely lunch and a really fun afternoon.’ I swallowed hard as he looked at me sadly. ‘Don’t do that, you’ll make me cry again and I don’t want to traipse back through town crying and getting sympathetic looks.’

  ‘Bye, Paige,’ he sighed.

  ‘Bye, Alec.’ I attempted a smile and watched him turn and start walking away, cocking my head to watch his peachy backside as he strode off with purpose. It was my turn to sigh. ‘Alec?’ I shouted, forcing him to turn around.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Until we collide?’ I bit my lower lip as I waited for his response. He smiled and nodded, walking backwards, neither of us wanting to be the first to turn around. ‘Tree!’ I yelled, alarmed as it rapidly approached his back.

  ‘What?’ he called, seconds before he bashed straight into it, making the branches shake. He reached up to rub the back of his head as I laughed.

&nbs
p; ‘See, you’ve spent too much time around me, you’re picking up my bad habits.’

  ‘Not as much time as I’d have liked.’

  No truer words had ever been spoken. I stayed watching him until he gave me one final wave before he disappeared out of the park gates, and out of my life yet again.

  ‘Do not cry, Paige.’ It was a futile warning, totally unmanageable. A few tears slid down my cheeks as I made my way back to the car and wondered if my best friend was somewhere with a Wi-Fi signal so I could share my day with her.

  A Model Citizen

  August ~ A Year Later

  I stood in Shrewsbury town square on another sunny day, just breathing in the air and remembering my unexpected meeting with Alec here a year ago. My contract with the Farquars had ended and we’d all moved home. Brennan was seven now and about to start boarding school. I felt he was far too young to be separated from his parents, he was upset enough about leaving the only home he remembered and about saying goodbye to me, but he wasn’t my child, my opinion didn’t matter. I’d filled in my application to Cambridge, which had thrilled Dad, but I wasn’t that enthused about it. Most people went to university to better their education, with a view to getting a well-paid job. I’d already had a well-paid job and I had a glowing reference, which would more than likely secure me another position with a wealthy overseas family, but I wanted a little more excitement in my life. I had no ties whatsoever now. Toby had been upset that I planned to come home, but other than getting married to him and starting a family, which I so wasn’t ready for, there was nothing there for me. I’d outgrown it, and him. I think he knew that my heart was never fully in the relationship, but it had been good while it lasted.

  ‘Well, well, well, look who’s back!’ came a scornful female voice. ‘I barely recognised you. Then again, you’re usually covered in cow shit or mud whenever I see you.’

  ‘Ruth,’ I sighed, turning to face her. She smirked and folded her arms across her chest. ‘How lovely to see that you’ve used the last three years to grow as a person. Tell me what I ever did to make you despise me so much?’

  ‘You know what! I was perfectly happy with Alec until you came along.’

  ‘I wasn’t the cause for you splitting up, Ruth. From what I heard, you only have yourself to blame for that.’

  ‘From what you heard?’ She scowled at me, her lips turning up into a sneer. ‘Of course, I forgot how close you and Alec are nowadays. Best of friends, aren’t you? Remind me how long it’s been since you last saw him. A year, is it, on your little ill-fated lovers’ picnic?’

  ‘How do you know that?’ I demanded.

  ‘Because I’m still the one in his life, Paige. His mother adores me, so everything he tells her, she tells me. It’s only a matter of time before he comes around and realises what he’s given up with me. We’re destined to be together.’

  ‘You may have his mother wrapped around your little finger, you evil, manipulative … cow, but he’ll never take you back.’

  ‘And you think you’re so special?’ she laughed. ‘If he wanted to be with you, he’d be with you. He has a certain standard now that he’s working with supermodels and you, sweetheart, just don’t meet the grade.’

  ‘First of all, he’s not that shallow,’ I bit. ‘And secondly, I could be a model if I wanted. Alec even encouraged me to apply to an agency the last time I saw him.’

  ‘They’d never take anyone with a fat arse and silicone-enhanced tits like that,’ she scoffed. I lost my cool altogether and slapped her.

  ‘My arse is rounded and my breasts are natural. Nothing about me is fake, which can’t be said for you. I’ll prove you wrong, Ruth. You’re going to eat your words one day, because I’m going to be a superstar. And while you sit here in this sleepy town, waiting for your Prince Charming to come and rescue you, remember this. I’m the one you sneered at when I was at my lowest. I’m Cinderella. You’re just one of the ugly sisters, inside and out.’ I didn’t give her a chance to respond as I stalked away, forgetting my shopping plans for the day and heading straight for the train station.

  I got off the train at London Euston station and headed for the underground. I’d only been to London on a school trip in my teens, I felt nervous navigating such a large city on my own, but I was twenty-one now. I was a woman who had so much more confidence than the young girl that had said a tearful goodbye to her parents and Poppie at the airport when I left three years ago. It was amazing to think that I’d eaten breakfast back home this morning, with no real plans for the day, and now I was in London, about to do something really stupid just to prove Ruth wrong. Why did I let her get to me so badly? I still couldn’t believe I’d slapped her. Was doing this a stupid move though? If I was lucky enough to get an offer, some models earned really good money. But I had to be realistic, I was Paige Taylor from Shrewsbury. The girl who fell over on a regular basis. My clumsiness and a catwalk weren’t exactly an ideal pairing. I pulled out the ModOne agency card from my bag, they were in South Kensington. I had no idea where that was, so did a search on my iPhone and asked it for the best tube route.

  I purchased a ticket before I could talk myself out of it and hopped on the crowded train. I looked down at myself, thankful that I always tried to dress smartly. I had on a pair of black tapered culottes, with a white cotton three-quarter sleeve shirt, a thin red leather belt, and red heels and bag. I remembered, from watching America’s Next Top Model with Poppie, that it was best to have your hair pulled back and minimal make up on. I rummaged in my bag for a hair band and quickly raked my fingers through it, scraping it into a ponytail, then used a tissue to remove the hint of red gloss on my lips. Then again, it wasn’t like they were just going to drop everything to see me. They must have a long waiting list of girls wanting to sign up, let alone walk-ins on a daily basis. I made my way up the leafy tree-lined street and stopped just short of the smart entrance, with large Italian-looking terracotta pots either side of the door with shaped topiary trees. The name of the agency, ModOne, was emblazoned in mirrored letters above the glass double doors. I quickly pulled my phone out and FaceTimed Poppie.

  ‘Just got out of bed, lazy bones?’ she grinned on answer.

  ‘No, as a matter of fact, I’m in London,’ I retorted.

  ‘London? What are you doing there?’ She gave me a puzzled look as I grimaced.

  ‘Exactly what I’m thinking, now that I’m standing outside.’

  ‘Outside where? What’s going on?’ I filled her in, amidst much muttering and hissing through her teeth on mention of my run-in with Ruth, then squeals of delight as I told her my stupid on-the-fly plan. ‘O, Paige, this is awesome. Go for it, what do you have to lose? You didn’t need Alec Wright to tell you that you’re gorgeous, I’ve been telling you for years.’

  ‘What about uni though?’

  ‘Who needs a qualification when you’re the next Cara Delevingne?’

  ‘Please, at twenty-one I’m probably already considered past it.’

  ‘Just go and try, let me know as soon as you’re out. We’ll have to celebrate when you get home tonight.’

  ‘Or commiserate.’

  ‘Shit, I’ve just realised that I can’t either way. Reece is taking me to dinner, says we “need to talk.”’

  ‘O my God, do you think he’s going to propose?’ I asked, feeling really excited for her. ‘Are you going to say yes?’

  ‘I’m twenty-one, I haven’t developed early-onset insanity yet, Paige,’ she laughed. ‘No one gets married at this age anymore. Besides, I’ve applied for some temping work in London to fit around a bilingual secretarial course I’ve found down there and he’s applying for jobs in Dubai. We have some important life stuff to sort out before we even talk about where our relationship’s heading. Go, I want to know the outcome the minute you’re out, ok?’

  ‘Ok, but don’t get your hopes up. I have a fat arse and fake-looking tits, apparently.’

  ‘She’ll have a fat lip if I bump into her,’ Poppie mu
ttered. ‘And as tits and arse go, so not into girls, but if I was, I’d be all over yours. They’re lush.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I smiled. I could always count on Poppie to boost my confidence. ‘Wish me luck.’

  ‘Sending you rainbows and unicorns,’ she replied, blowing me a kiss. I returned the favour and ended the call. After checking myself in the mirror and applying a slick of Vaseline on my lips, I put my shoulders back and held my head high as I approached the doors, determined not to fall over or cause a scene. I made it through the heavy glass doors without incident and tried not to gasp in awe at the cavernous reception. The floors and walls were polished white granite with silver sparkles inset, huge black chandeliers hung from the ceilings, and there were vintage silver ornate mirrors on each wall, interspersed with acrylic shots of the various models on their books. There was a long white leather chaise longue along the far wall, with a row of young girls clutching portfolio documents to their chests. What was I thinking? I was so unprepared. I made to turn around and run back out, but the receptionist caught my eye.

  ‘Can I help you?’ she called. All eyes were on me as I stood there, caught in limbo between fight or flight. I could do this, I was going to make Ruth eat her words. I strode confidently to the desk.

  ‘Paige Taylor, I want to be a model,’ I advised.

  ‘When’s your appointment, Paige?’

  ‘Appointment?’

  ‘Yes, we’re an appointment-only agency, I’m afraid. Have you made one?’

  ‘No, I thought … I’m sorry, it’s just my friend Alec recommended that I come and see Jean-Claude.’

  ‘Alec?’ She looked up at me, intrigued.

  ‘Alec Wright, he’s a fashion photographer.’

  ‘You’re friends with Alec Wright?’ she gasped. I looked at her in surprise. It was as if I’d just name dropped being best friends with Harry Styles or something.

  ‘I am,’ I confirmed.

  ‘I can’t promise anything, but take a seat. He’s casting today, but if he doesn’t like the look of a girl on the couch in person, he won’t even see them, so he may have time for you.’