Until We Collide

by Charlotte Fallowfield

  ‘You’re a factor,’ I whispered, reaching up to brush away a tear that was clinging to my lower lashes.

  ‘Paige,’ he sighed, clasping my face and kissing my forehead. ‘Take me out of the equation. Would I be gutted to see you leave? Of course I would, but I have the chance to grasp a great opportunity with my job, I don’t want to be the reason that you don’t do the same. In fact, if you don’t take this chance, I’ll break up with you, because I won’t have you blaming me for a missed opportunity. If you stayed because of me, you’d end up hating me for not letting you go.’

  ‘I don’t think I could ever hate you,’ I sniffed, my words full of sincerity. ‘What if I went, could we still see each other when I come home?’

  ‘I don’t think that would work,’ he replied, defeat in his voice, echoing the thoughts that had plagued me all night, that I didn’t want to acknowledge. ‘I might be out of the country when you were here and vice versa. Plus you’ll be living out there most of the year and my jealousy wouldn’t handle the thought of guys over there trying to tempt you away from me.’

  ‘So, this is it? We’re over before we even started?’ I felt my bottom lip wobble as I looked up at him, into his startling blue eyes which looked as full of emotion as I felt. He ran his thumbs gently over my cheekbones as we held each other’s gaze. This had to be one of the shortest relationships in the world. We’d not even lasted forty-eight hours.

  ‘I don’t think we’ll ever be over, Paige Taylor,’ he whispered softly, ‘but right now isn’t our time.’

  ‘What if it never is?’ I asked, feeling heartbroken at that statement.

  ‘I refuse to believe that. I’m kind of old fashioned and superstitious. I think if two people are meant to be together, they’ll find their way back to each other, no matter what. I have to believe that one day, I’ll turn a corner and you’ll be there, that we’ll collide in a passionate embrace and pick up where we left off.’

  ‘You really believe that?’

  ‘I have to, because I’m going to be full of regret at a missed opportunity, Paige. I need something to look forward to. I’m going to go, you need to start packing and getting ready for one of the many adventures I know you’re going to have in life.’

  ‘We can’t even go on our date?’ I couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down onto my cheeks at the realisation that this was it, we were going our separate ways.

  ‘Every second I spend with you will just make it harder for me to say goodbye, Paige. I’ve never met anyone like you, I don’t think I ever will again. I think it’s best we don’t torture ourselves for any longer than we have to. Just kiss me one last time before I go, I always want to remember it, just in case.’

  I did as I was told, one hand slipping up his waistcoat and clutching his firm waist, the other clasping the back of his head as I lost myself in a kiss that was even more perfect than our first. It exceeded everything I’d ever imagined kissing to be. We only broke apart when the need to breathe became an issue, resting our foreheads on each others, his hands still firmly holding my face.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ I whispered, swallowing a ball of acid that was trying to force its way into my throat. ‘Good luck in London, I’m sure you’ll be amazing. Goodbye, Alec.’ I pulled myself from his embrace, not daring to look at his face in case I caved, and swung his car door open to leap out. I ran for the front door and fumbled with my keys, dropping them twice and cursing as I fought to stem the tidal wave of tears threatening to totally overcome me. I heard his engine start as I managed to open the front door, and I couldn’t help myself from looking over my shoulder to get one last look at him. I was surprised to see how devastated he looked as well as he leaned out of the open window, the rain dampening his blond hair.

  ‘Good luck to you too, Paige,’ he called with a sad smile, before turning to face the windscreen and roaring off up the drive. I shut the door and started sobbing, leaning back on it as I covered my face with my hands and gasped for air.

  ‘O, darling,’ Mum sighed as she came out of the lounge and wrapped her arms around me. ‘Go and lie down. I’ll make you a cup of tea and call Poppie for you.’

  I threw myself onto my bed, hugging my pillow as I tried to stop the flow of tears. It was ridiculous. We’d been on one official date. Today didn’t even count. You could hardly count breaking up as a date. Part of me was disappointed, the emotional side of my brain anyway. It had wanted him to fight for me, to tell me not to go, or that we’d make it work if I did. The sensible, logical, and rational side though? He’d only said exactly what I’d been thinking, that it would be too hard. Plus he was going to be around gorgeous models all the time, I wasn’t sure my jealousy would handle that well either. This was the right choice, but it didn’t stop it from hurting like he’d been a massive part of my life for years.

  I woke up in the middle of the night with dry, itchy, swollen eyes and a banging headache. Poppie lay curled up next to me. She’d insisted on a sleep over, not wanting to leave me in my hour, or night, of need. I snuck out of bed and went to my en-suite to use a cold, wet flannel on my puffy eyes. I didn’t have time to mope. I was going abroad in less than a week, to somewhere really hot and tropical. The thought of having to go shopping for some new outfits and bikinis cheered me up a little. I headed back to bed with my temporary cool pack for my face and saw a message on my phone. It was from him.

  Just in case the memory of our last kiss fades, I wanted you to have something so you’d never forget me, just like I won’t forget you. Until we collide. Alec x

  I scrolled down and promptly started crying again. He’d attached two photographs, both black and white, that he’d obviously developed from the many he’d taken the night of the ball. One was a selfie he’d taken of us laughing. He had his arm around my shoulder, clasping my one hand as our temples touched. We looked so happy. We looked so perfect together. Perfectly doomed, more like. The other was a picture he’d taken of me when I wasn’t looking. If it hadn’t been for my dress, I might not have recognised myself. I was stunned. I’d always known I was pretty, but this picture made me look beautiful, that’s how good a photographer he was. He’d attached a caption to it that tugged on my heartstrings.

  Like I said, no one can hold a candle to you, Paige. See yourself how I see you. Alec x

  Just Lunch

  August ~ Two Years Later

  I was home from Grand Cayman for a four-week summer break while the Farquars were on a world cruise, and I was bored to tears. Poppie had gone travelling around Europe with Reece. We’d only had a few days together before she left two weeks ago and I was missing her already. I’d settled into my job abroad really well. It had helped going with a family I knew, and a little boy I adored, but the first few weeks had been really hard without my parents and Poppie close by. It had taken me some time to get over my short relationship with Alec as well. I’d not replied to the message he’d sent to me the last night I saw him. I figured keeping in contact would only make it harder for me to move on.

  I felt like I had now, and it helped that I finally had a boyfriend. I’d met him when I’d decided to take scuba diving lessons on one of my regular days off. Toby was the instructor, twenty-six years old, good looking, blond, and super tanned from spending his days in and around the water. We’d been seeing each other for about a year. Summer was peak season for his business, so he hadn’t been able to come back to England with me. I was surprised at how much I was missing him. I only agreed to date him after he pestered me non-stop, coming up with increasingly inventive ways to woo me, but we actually got on really well. He was kind, considerate, and funny, and though I had no one else to compare him to, as he was my first, sex with him was great. I’d finally lost my virginity and was inclined to agree with Poppie that I’d definitely been missing out. It just bummed me out that sometimes I’d catch myself looking at him and wishing he was Alec. I just didn’t get that sizzle of excitement or butterflies in my stomach with him like I had with Alec. Nor di
d my body completely go to pieces when he kissed me. I idly wondered how long it would be before I stopped comparing, until Alec was completely out of my system. It had been over two years since our one and only date and I hadn’t been able to bring myself to delete the photo he’d sent me of the two of us. I’d even printed it and tucked it into my mirror frame here in England, along with all of my pictures of Poppie. I had one of Toby and me in my bedroom in Grand Cayman, but not here for some reason.

  I looked out of my bedroom window, it was a gorgeous summer’s day for the UK. I was used to a hotter climate now, but it would do nicely. Bright sunshine, blue skies, with just the odd wisp of a fluffy white cloud. Perfect for shopping and a bite to eat somewhere, with a glass of wine. I had a shower and decided to leave my long wavy hair loose, then got dressed in a loose-fitting, white maxi dress with a pair of flat silver sandals, and filled my white crochet tote bag. Silver accessories, a slick of sheer lip-gloss, and spritz of perfume, and I was good to go.

  ‘Mum,’ I called through the bathroom door where she was having a shower. ‘I’m going into town for the day, do you need anything?’

  ‘No thanks, have fun,’ she replied.

  ‘Will do, see you later.’

  I bounced down the stairs and grabbed my car keys. I couldn’t help smiling as I stepped outside and saw Fi-Fi sitting on the drive. I was so in love with her. Fi-Fi was the hot pink Fiat 500cc that my parents had purchased for me instead of funding my uni fees. It had been too late for Dad to return it, given he’d ordered it with a custom spray-paint job. He was still a little miffed about my decision, especially as he’d purchased the car and then it had sat unused for a not inconsiderable amount of the time. And it didn't help that he’d had to order a bubblegum pink version, being my favourite colour. He constantly asked if I’d consider having her re-sprayed to something “a little less garish,” that wouldn’t offend anyone. The only person it seemed to offend was him. Everyone else loved her, me especially. I put on the radio and my sunglasses and retracted the roof. I had a feeling that today was going to be an amazing day.

  I parked in Abbey Foregate, eager to make my way to Wyle Cop and meander in and out of all of the boutique shops as I headed up to the town centre, but breakfast was the first item on my agenda. I headed over to The Peach Tree and sat outside with my sunglasses on as I ate a delicious meal of eggs benedict with a vanilla latte and freshly squeezed orange juice as I watched the world go by. Everyone here seemed so hurried and rushed to get to wherever they were going. I’d grown accustomed to a slower pace of life now. I popped over to the nearby hairdressers for my appointment at ten a.m. All the sun and ocean swimming meant that my hair was in desperate need of deep conditioning on a regular basis. I quite liked that the sun had bleached a few blonde streaks into it, but the dryness was something I detested. I had my nails done while I waited, a pretty and natural-looking French manicure, then hit the shops for some overdue retail therapy.

  When I finally made it up to the town square, it was nearly two p.m. and I was laden down with bags. I had no idea if I was coming home for Christmas, so unbelievably I’d planned ahead and done most of my shopping in July. I’d never been so organised. My fingers were hurting so much from the handles digging into them that I’d nearly had to put the bags down and slap myself when the thought of heading to buy one of those tartan shopping trolleys on wheels, that pensioners wheeled about, crossed my mind. Crikey, next I’d be looking into the one bootie, fleece-lined, electric foot warmer, or one of those slankets, a blanket with sleeves, or God forbid, a totally unsexy onesie. The thought made me shudder. Maybe even a Motability scooter? They did look like fun though. I could zip in and out of shops, hooting at the annoying women who always congregated right at a shop entrance to chat, that or plough them down. It would really make things easier in the Boxing Day sales to have one of those to get ahead of the pack. I did put my bags down for a moment and rubbed my fingers back to life, wondering if a funky and brightly coloured shopping trolley would really be all that bad.

  ‘Paige Taylor, back away from inappropriate thoughts right now,’ I warned myself. I grabbed all my bags and spun around, deciding to find somewhere for a snack and a glass of wine, and bumped straight into someone. It caught me so off guard that I cursed as I felt myself falling and bounced inelegantly on the ground, the contents of my bags scattering out around me.

  ‘Paige Taylor, I know that I said “until we collide,” but I didn’t mean it literally. You seem to have a habit of falling at my feet,’ came a reassuringly familiar, but incredibly sexy, voice. ‘Are you ok?’

  I managed to get myself into a sitting position, adjusted my dress, which had ridden up to my hips, and looked up at the speaker. The sight that met my eyes made me take in a sharp, shocked inhalation. Alec Wright was crouching in front of me, with a smile on his handsome face as he offered me his hand. I gulped hard. Two years had been generous to him. He’d filled out into an indisputably toned, broad, masculine specimen of perfection. I put my hand in his and he stood, easing me up onto my feet. Neither of us spoke for a moment, nor did he release my hand, and I was ashamed to feel that surge of excitement to be so close to him again.

  ‘Are you ok?’ he repeated.

  ‘I am, thank you. A bit shocked from the fall, but I’m ok. The same can’t be said for my shopping though,’ I grimaced, as I tore my eyes off his and looked down at my purchases spread around me.

  ‘I’ll help you pick them up.’ He slowly let go of my hand and we both bent down at the same time to pick up the closest bag, with a loud crack as our foreheads clashed.

  ‘Owwww,’ I moaned with a giggle, straightening up to rub it.

  ‘Sorry,’ he grinned, doing the same. ‘Ok?’

  ‘I will be if you stop assaulting me,’ I teased. We both let out a peel of laughter as we did it again, him rubbing his head this time.

  ‘Ok, ladies first, or we’ll end up knocking each other out.’

  I hastily crouched and started scooping various items into whatever bag was lying close to hand. I was too flustered to focus properly on what I was doing. My heart was skipping so many beats I was liable to pass out, then I was going to need mouth-to-mouth to resuscitate me. Would it be wrong to fake fainting just to feel him kiss me again? I wondered. I mentally slapped myself, for the second time in five minutes. I had a boyfriend, a really nice boyfriend called Alec. No wait, not Alec, Toby. God damn it, I couldn’t even get his name right after a year.

  ‘Hmmm, nice choice,’ Alec murmured, forcing me to look up. I cringed when I saw a pair of sexy, lace, electric blue boy shorts dangling from his finger, not to mention the hammock of a bra swinging next to them. It was big enough to carry two large Galia melons. I quickly snatched the personal items off him, my cheeks going pink, and hastily shoved them out of sight.

  ‘Mum’s Christmas present,’ I lied, not wanting to imagine him imagining me scantily clad in said items. It was bad enough being around him, I didn’t need to see him aroused. My eyes automatically drifted up his leg to his crotch. Shit, too late. The sight of what was straining in his jeans set me off balance again and I landed on my backside with a thud.

  ‘Calamity Taylor, some things never change,’ he chuckled, hauling me up again. ‘But unless your mum has had some silicone implants, no way is she going to be wearing that bra.’

  ‘Ok, ok, the underwear is mine. I just didn’t want you getting any visuals in your head,’ I protested, forcing myself not to lean in and sniff his pale blue shirt or nuzzle his neck.

  ‘Too late, not that I need any help for that. How are you? You look amazing.’

  ‘So do you,’ I replied, with an involuntary sigh. ‘I mean … you know what I mean. You look well. How’s the job going?’

  ‘Great, I’m just back from a shoot in New York and popped in to see my mum for her birthday. I’m back down to London tomorrow, then off to Tokyo.’

  ‘Wow, it’s really going well then?’ I gathered up my bags, needing something to
keep my hands occupied, as they were itching to touch him again.

  ‘It is. What about you? Are you home for good?’ he asked. I lifted my eyes back up to his, wondering if I’d just detected an element of hope in his voice.

  ‘No, another year to go before Mr. Farquar’s contract ends. I just came home for a few weeks while they’re on a family vacation.’

  ‘Are you rushing off somewhere, or do you have time to catch up?’

  ‘I was just going to go and get something to eat.’

  ‘So was I, why don’t we have lunch together?’ he suggested, wrestling some of the bags out of my hands.

  ‘I’m seeing someone,’ I said in a rush, like that was going to protect me from the raw sexual pheromones Alec was unwittingly spewing in my direction.

  ‘It’s just lunch, Paige.’

  ‘His name’s Toby and he’s really nice. It’s been almost a year. It’s serious, I think. I mean, we’re having sex you know, sex is serious. God, now that sounds like he’s a total bore in the bedroom, or that I am. He’s not. I’m not. I’m a hellcat when I get going, a real tigress. My God, what am I saying?’ I groaned. ‘I’m babbling again, you so don’t need to know about my sex life.’

  ‘Really don’t,’ he agreed with a frown. I ran to catch him up as he started walking away.

  ‘How about you?’

  ‘You want to know if I’m having sex?’ he asked, one eyebrow raised.

  ‘Well, that wasn’t actually where I was going with that question,’ I replied, my mind drifting as I tried to imagine him without his shirt and jeans. My memory of his ripped torso that day he’d stripped off his t-shirt in Daisy’s stall was fading rapidly.

  ‘So?’ he prodded.

  ‘So what?’ I asked, shaking my head to rid myself of improper thoughts and look up at him.

  ‘You said “how about you?” and I’m not sure what you were asking.’