Beautiful Pain

by J. M. Walker

  Matteo: Good morning, sweet girl.

  Me: Good morning.

  Matteo: Wanna grab lunch?

  Me: Sure.

  Matteo: Then answer your door.

  I jumped out of bed, rubbing the grit out of my sleepy eyes.

  Please tell me he has coffee.

  Unlocking the door to my apartment, I opened it to a smiling Matteo. “Coffee?” I grunted.

  He chuckled, handing me a steaming cup. “Not a morning person, are we?”

  “Nope,” I answered, heading back to my bedroom.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, shutting the door behind him.

  “Coffee. Bed. TV. Remember?”

  He only laughed and followed me to my room.

  We had been dating for a couple weeks. Almost a month to be exact. Tension built up around us. Passion ensnared. But still nothing that I wanted. I enjoyed spending time with him. I was happy to sit and talk but since Nika interrupted us the last time, we hadn’t been alone long enough to do anything.

  Matteo stood at my doorway, his eyes darkening. His nostrils flared.

  Although I was tired and he had woken me up, my body became alive under his scrutiny. My skin hummed. This attraction between us grew as each day past. “Join me,” I whispered, my voice small.

  He walked around my side of the bed and pinched my chin. His thumb brushed over my bottom lip before his fingers trailed down between my breasts. “So fucking tempting.” He pulled my shirt lower, exposing my breast.

  My chest rose and fell with each breath. A moan escaped me when the rough calloused pad of his thumb brushed over my erect nipple.

  His stare held me captive. A slight smirk spread on his face, knowing what he could do to me and I wouldn’t stop him. I could never stop him.

  “We’ve been dating for almost a month, beautiful girl.” His thumb and forefinger pinched the peak.

  I whimpered, a jolt of electricity shooting straight to my groin.

  He leaned down, his mouth mere inches from mine. “I don’t date. I fuck. And I fuck hard. But you, Marketa, have captured me. Something about you latched onto me and I never want it to let go.”

  “Matteo—”

  A phone rang, vibrating in his pocket. He winked, keeping his hand inside my shirt and answered his phone. “Santos. Yeah.” He pinched the nub. “I know. I asked her to call and make an appointment. Don’t worry, Cathy. This will be the last time. Yes, I’m sure. I’m on a date right now.” To emphasize he was busy, he dug his nails into my nipple igniting a hard moan to leave my lips. “I hope to have you meet her soon. I would like that too. Thank you for checking in.” He hung up and focused back on me. “How wet are you, Marketa?”

  I chewed my bottom lip, squeezing my thighs together.

  “Open.” He pushed a hand between my legs. “Let me feel how much you want me.”

  Hesitating, I slowly spread my legs, watching as his hand trailed up my inner thigh. Once it reached my center, he pushed his fingers beneath my shorts.

  “So fucking responsive,” he rasped, slipping his finger through my soaked folds.

  “Matteo, please.” I went to grab his hand when he stopped me.

  His fingers wrapped around my wrist, squeezing to the point of painful. “Let me take you to lunch.”

  “But—”

  “As much as I want you right now. As much as I want to fuck you until you forget your name, we are not doing this here. I don’t want any interruptions, little girl.” His fingers tightened their hold on me. “The first time I’m balls deep inside your beautiful body will be at my place.” He pulled me from the bed. “Then I can restrain you. Tie you up. Bound you until you’re immobile and all you can focus on is the deep thrusts of my cock.” His hand moved between my legs and under my shorts. “I’m going to fuck you here,” he brushed a finger over my soaked opening igniting a purr to leave my lips. “And here,” his hand moved to the back of my shorts, cupping my ass before slipping a finger over the tight hole at my rear. “And then eventually…” He released my lower body and brought his hand up to my mouth. “Here. But I won’t be gentle.” He leaned down, brushing his mouth over the shell of my ear. “It turns me on when a woman gags and chokes on my cock. I will fuck your throat, forcing you to swallow all of me until you can’t breathe.”

  Oh. My. Images from his dirty words slid into my mind. To have the taste of him on my tongue sent a flutter of desire roaring through my already frustrated body.

  “Would you like that, sweet girl? You want to taste my cock?” he asked, as if he could read my mind.

  All I could do was nod, the fantasies in my mind forcing me to lose my words.

  “Good.” He turned me around and swatted my ass. “Get ready.” He kissed my neck. “I’ll wait like a gentleman.”

  “Are we having an all-day date?” I asked, breathless.

  “Do you work today?”

  “No.” Cello decided to give me the day off after I came in tired and exhausted, looking like a zombie from The Walking Dead.

  “Then you’re stuck with me. If you’ll have me of course.” He grinned.

  “I would love that.”

  We had spent the day outside. As much as I wanted to stay in, I knew our control was slipping. So being in public would prevent us from doing anything we weren’t ready for until we were able to get to Matteo’s place. But I was thirty-three. I hadn’t been with a man in years. Learning about them at a young age, I was never interested. I didn’t date. Never had a boyfriend and I only ended up with the guys I slept with so long ago because I was bored. But they never made me feel this way like Matteo did. They never made my need for them so strong, it hurt. I could physically feel the ache I had for Matteo. And until I had him, it would never go away.

  Matteo and I spent the day walking the peer until we decided to go to Cello’s for his second round of karaoke. He had told me the first time didn’t go so well. Everyone who sang sounded like cats were dying. Hopefully tonight would be better.

  My heart warmed at Matteo acting like a gentleman. He kept his hands to himself except to steal kisses every so often. I learned he loved to cook. He embraced both sides of his heritage and had a goal to learn as many Mexican and Italian dishes as he could. He also promised to cook for me on one of our dates.

  When we were eating fish down by the lake an hour before we had to leave, he got a call. His body tensed and he took a breath, bracing himself before he answered his phone.

  “Hello, father.” Matteo reached a hand out for me.

  I latched on, holding his arm in my lap.

  “I’m on a date.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Her name is Marketa Dobry.” He glanced my way and gave me a soft smile. “Yes, she is beautiful…Are you? When?” His back stiffened. “Alright…Let me know and we’ll meet up…I’m heading home in a couple of weeks as well.” Matteo pulled me closer against him. “Talk to you soon…Bye, father.” He hung up and kissed me instantly.

  When I thought it would be a peck, he deepened it, sliding his tongue into my mouth. He swallowed my moans, breathed in my sighs and we both let our pleasure wash over us.

  Something told me his dad was intense. Much like mine.

  Matteo relaxed against me and kissed my head. “Sorry about that. My dad likes to get under my skin.”

  “I know how you feel. My dad has become protective since…since we lost my mother. You only saw one side of him. Piss him off and his full wrath is revealed.” Matteo didn’t need to know exactly why my father’s protectiveness came out. At least not yet.

  “My mother died giving birth to me.” Matteo brushed his finger over my shoulder absent-mindedly before he continued. “I know my dad blames me.”

  “Oh, Matteo.” I placed a soft peck on his mouth. “That can’t be true.”

  “Did I scare you when I cuffed you to my couch?” he asked, rubbing his thumb back and forth over my wrists.

  I sighed at the change of subject, not sure how much I should reveal to him. “N
o. Not at all.”

  “Don’t forget to you use your safeword. Whenever you are with me. Doesn’t matter when. If I get to be too much—”

  I crushed my mouth to his. “Shh…there’s more to me than you know.” I kissed him again and stared intently into his eyes. “Sir.”

  Matteo

  Fuck me hard and call me Sally.

  Marketa Dobry didn’t know what she was getting herself into by teasing me. I had enough issues trying to keep my hands to myself but when her dark eyes stared up at me with lust and passion in them, it took everything in me not to throw her down on the bench and rip off her clothes. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” I told her, kissing the side of her neck.

  “Are you telling me to stay away?”

  “Never. I want you to know and I’m only warning you this one time, Marketa. Once I have you, once I’m so deep inside of you, you scream from the pure pleasure of it, I will never let you go.” Sinking my teeth into her neck, I nipped along her skin. “Think you can handle me?”

  “Yes. Oh yes. Please, Matteo.”

  “I will own every inch of you, beautiful girl.” Enough teasing. I needed to get this date done so I could spend my time tormenting her. I was a sadistic bastard and all.

  Rising from the bench, I pulled Mae to her feet.

  “Matteo.” She swayed towards me.

  “Yes?”

  “Take me home. We don’t have to go to Cello’s.”

  My dick lengthened at her desperation but I would be a gentleman until it was too late for us both. I knew Mae didn’t feel anything. Or not in the usual sense of the term. I didn’t know her story but I did know something tragic had happened. Something so brutal that caused her to fall into herself. That image of the intricate tattoo on her body was seared into my mind. Burned its way into my retinas where all I saw was it. It was beautiful. In a grotesque way. Thorns marred the length of the stem, petals falling off the wilting rose and landing to a spot at the small of her back. Whoever had done it, did a perfect job. But her words…pleading for me to ignore the tattoo put a sour taste in my mouth.

  “Matteo?”

  Her voice snapped me from my thoughts. “We’re going to Cello’s and then I’ll take you home.” As much as the teasing was going to give me blue balls, I needed her to feel the anticipation of what I knew would come eventually. When we were both so turned on, our pleasure would crash into each other like waves.

  “But—”

  “No, Mae. Trust me.” I kissed her mouth.

  “I do trust you.” She said she trusted me but I knew it wasn’t completely. Not yet. And I knew this because I felt it too.

  “Let’s go,” I mumbled. Before I did something that would put me in jail.

  She let me pull her to her feet and we walked to my car hand in hand. Her cheeks were mottled pink, her full bottom lip plump from chewing it.

  Her gaze slid to mine and for the first time since meeting her, she smiled. Although it was small and it disappeared rather fast, it was there.

  I stepped in front of her, stopping her in her tracks and placed a hard kiss on her lips.

  “What was that for?” she asked, breathless.

  “For giving me your smile.” I kissed her again.

  “You noticed?”

  “That you don’t smile often? Yes. Of course I noticed.” I cupped her nape. “I haven’t even heard you laugh.”

  “I don’t know how to,” she said, her voice small.

  My stomach twisted at her confession. Before the night ended, I would get her laughing.

  (Mae)

  The teasing was enough to drive me mad. The multiple orgasms he had given me already were intense and delicious. The sweet pain of anticipation controlled my thoughts and took over my dreams where all I thought about was Matteo. Every now and again, our gaze would lock, crashing into each other like earthquakes of pleasure. I had been forced to crave pain but Matteo had shown me the touch of a gentle lover. Although we hadn’t had sex yet, the intense desire I had for him took control. I knew when the time came, he would be intense. He would dominate me in ways I never imagined. He would possess my body, owning my pleasure.

  “Mae,” Cello barked.

  “I’m not working, Cello. You gave me the day off remember?” I turned towards him, shoving my paycheck in my purse.

  “You good?” he asked, while stirring his famous chili.

  “I am.” And I would be even better once I experienced Matteo completely.

  “Are you and that man dating on a regular basis now?”

  I bit back an eye roll. Cello hadn’t called Matteo by his name. It was either ‘that man’ or ‘fucker’ or worse. “That man’s name is Matteo and yes, we are dating.” Whether it was on a regular basis or not, I wasn’t sure.

  “How long do you plan on dating him?”

  “Cello.” I huffed. “How am I supposed to know?”

  His dark eyes softened. “I worry for you.”

  “Don’t. Please.” I sighed. “I’m fine.”

  “Are you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you fine?”

  I had no idea. I didn’t even know what being fine meant. I knew it was life’s biggest lie. It was used when people were asked how they were and they didn’t feel like answering or going into detail. “I’m fine,” I repeated, heading back to my table where Matteo sat.

  “I will gut him if he hurts you,” Cello called out a little too loudly.

  My cheeks burned when customers gawked our way. “I’ve been told that several times already. You should change your threat. Make it more original.”

  He grunted, mumbling to himself about something to do with women and stressing him out. “Be careful, Mae.”

  I was careful. I was always careful. That was how I got in trouble in the first place.

  “Mae.”

  My gaze snapped to Cello’s.

  “Be. Careful,” he repeated, his brows narrowing.

  I nodded.

  Matteo glanced up when I approached him, a slow grin spreading on his handsome face.

  My belly gave a flip. His smile. It was meant for me. The way he stared at me made me feel like I was the only thing that mattered, that I was the only thing existing in his world. He made me feel…beautiful.

  “Hello, Marketa.” His voice rumbled through me, wrapped around my heart and squeezed until it only beat for him.

  “Hi,” I whispered.

  He pinched my chin and covered my mouth in a soft but demanding kiss. He stole my breath, forcing me to submit to the small touch.

  Our tongues danced, battling for a control neither of us had.

  “I missed you,” he said against my lips.

  “I was only gone for a moment and you’ve spent the whole day with me,” I said, leaning into his side.

  He wrapped a hand around my nape and kissed the soft spot under my ear.

  I shivered. “I’m surprised you’re not sick of me yet.”

  “I could never get sick of you, sweet girl. But being with you makes me want you that much more,” he purred.

  “Why?” I snapped my mouth shut, wishing I could take back that one word.

  “Why do you question me?” he asked, the muscle in his jaw ticking.

  “I…” My heart raced, my palms becoming sweaty. “I don’t…I don’t know. I can’t help it.”

  “I have no intentions of doing anything to you that you don’t want me to do. I won’t hurt you. Not in the traditional sense at least.” With two fingers, he tilted my chin, forcing me to look at him. “I know you like pain. And I plan on giving you the beautiful pain you crave.”

  “How do you know that?” It was a dumb question but I couldn’t stop the words from leaving my mouth.

  “I remember the way you arched under me, pushing your nipple further into my mouth.” He licked his lips, leaning down to my ear. “I remember the way you begged for me to bite you.” He nipped the soft spot under my ear.

  “Matteo,” I panted. M
y hands trailed down his chest, grabbing onto the thin fabric.

  “I also remember the way you screamed my name when my bite made you come. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Especially after I give you the pleasure you deserve.”

  His words warmed my heart. “It was unexpected.”

  “Of course it would be.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you haven’t met your match until now. You can only tell someone what you want until it becomes frustrating,” he explained. “Have you ever told a man what you want?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I was never given the chance.”

  “Well, beautiful girl.” His mouth moved along the length of my neck. “I promise you, you won’t need to tell me but if there is something you want, I expect you to say it.”

  I nodded, gripping onto his shirt.

  “Now what do you want? Tell me what you want me to do to you.” His hot breath caressed my skin, washing over me in waves of pent up desire.

  “Everything,” I whispered, tilting my head to give him better access.

  “Everything, sweet girl?”

  “Yes.” I wished he would take me home. Take me to a place I knew only he could.

  “You may think you want everything from me, everything I have to give, but you don’t.”

  I frowned. “Are you telling me not to want you?”

  “No.” He cupped my jaw. “I’m telling you I’m not a good man.” A wicked glint flashed in his eyes.

  “You’re good to me. That’s all I need.” My heart raced.

  His eyes searched my face. “Before this goes any further, you need to ask yourself one question. How far are you willing to go to be with me?”

  “What does that mean?” His words made a nervous flutter swim through my belly.

  “It means,” he glanced down at his hand traveling up my inner thigh under my skirt. “That once I have you, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself.”

  “I want you to control me,” I blurted, gripping his arm.

  “I know.” He didn’t look at me once his fingers reached my panties. “I know what you need and it’s something only I can provide.”