Beautiful Pain

by J. M. Walker

  “Matteo, please. I…” I couldn’t tell him I needed him in ways I was forced to live. I couldn’t tell him for fear of scaring him away.

  Leaning his forehead on my shoulder, his hot breath seared my skin. “Tell me how much you want me.”

  “We’re in public and I want you right now. I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks and I crave you in ways I never knew existed,” I said, cupping his nape. “I want you, Matteo, in any way you want me.”

  A soft growl left his lips as his finger slipped beneath the fabric of my panties. “So fucking wet. For me,” he growled, thrusting his finger into my body in one smooth move.

  I whimpered, sinking my teeth into his neck to muffle my cry.

  “Hmm…music to my ears. Imagine my cock thrusting into your pussy. Slow. Deep. And then fast and hard,” he said, between thrusts.

  “Yes. Oh, yes.”

  “I’m going to fuck you rough. I’m going to rip your body open and then make love to you. You want my big dick filling your cunt, don’t you, Marketa?”

  I trembled against him. “Yes.”

  “How about your pretty ass? Think you can handle me fucking you everywhere?” he ground out.

  Oh dear God. The images he put into my head mixed with the dirty words and the deep thrusts of his finger set off an explosion. Spots danced in my vision.

  His finger picked up speed, prolonging the quick orgasm shattering through me.

  “Matteo,” I moaned, trembling in his arms.

  He grinned. “So beautiful. If I never had another orgasm, watching you come apart in my arms would be just as satisfying.”

  “Please. Tonight,” I pleaded, watching him bring his hand up to his mouth.

  “No,” he said, sucking the juices from my body off of his finger. His nostrils flared, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down when he swallowed. “Fuck. Me.”

  “Matteo, you can’t do this to me.”

  In a quick move, he cupped my nape. His fingers dug into my neck, gripping me in a firm hold. “Don’t you dare fucking tell me what I can and can’t do.”

  “But…I…”

  “Little girl, if we were anywhere else, I would bend you over my lap and spank your ass for being demanding. But you’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you?” he asked, tilting my head.

  “Yes,” I said, not able to meet his gaze.

  “Look at me,” he demanded. “If you don’t,” he leaned down to my ear. “I’ll have to find other ways to punish you.” He sat back, rubbing the dark scruff of his jaw.

  With shaky hands, I rubbed them down my thighs, smoothing out my crumpled skirt. The orgasm he had given me, in public no less, still brewed. I ached. For him. I yearned to have him inside of me.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking, sweet girl,” Matteo said, his voice gentle this time. He grabbed my hand, brushing his thumb over my palm.

  “I’m thinking how much I want you. And…” I glanced up. “And…how much it scares me.”

  Matteo didn’t say anything, his gaze sliding to our joined hands in his lap.

  I opened my mouth to ask him to take me home when he pulled me into his arms. “What are you doing?”

  He reached under my shirt.

  I slapped his hands away. “Matteo.”

  He snarled in the crook of my neck. The light scratchy feeling of his scruff against my skin sent a flutter through my belly.

  “Matteo, stop!”

  “Stop is not your safeword.” His fingers dug into my sides until I was squirming in his lap.

  “Stop. That…that…”

  “What?” What does it do?” he asked, pressing his fingers into the sensitive spot under my ribs.

  “It tickles!” I cried, attempting to struggle out of his hold.

  “It’s supposed to,” he chuckled. “Laugh for me, beautiful girl.”

  “No.” I struggled out of his grip but his hold on me only tightened.

  “Laugh. I want to hear you laugh. For me,” Matteo insisted, tickling me.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. Laughter bubbled from somewhere deep inside of me, bursting forth from within.

  “That’s it. Harder.”

  I laughed so hard until my ribs ached, tears streaming down my cheeks.

  Matteo stopped tickling me and wrapped his arms around my middle. “You’re beautiful when you laugh,” he said, kissing my head. “But you’re absolutely gorgeous when you smile.”

  “Thank you.” I sighed, a heavy weight lifting off of me. So many things were holding me down but I could feel Matteo removing them piece by piece.

  A throat cleared and I turned around, finding Nika and Cello standing near our table. I had almost forgotten where we were. Lost in my own little world with Matteo. I prayed they had no idea he had given me one of the best orgasms ever only moments before.

  “Everything okay here?” Cello questioned, his eyes darting back and forth between Matteo and I.

  “Yes,” Matteo answered, leaning back in the booth. He placed his arm casually on the seat behind him. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

  “Mae, girl, are you sure you’re alright?” Nika asked me.

  “Yes.” Neither of them saw me burst into laughter in so long, it was almost uncanny. They knew how bad my childhood was but they didn’t know every dark and dirty detail. Some things I kept to myself for fear of judgment.

  A lump formed in my throat. “Matteo, please take me home.”

  He nodded and tapped me lightly on the butt to get me to move.

  I slid out of the booth and hugged Nika. “He’s good for me.”

  She returned the embrace. “I know,” she said, holding me at arm’s length. “I am surprised.”

  “So am I,” I said softly.

  Cello pulled me into his arms. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile. Don’t stop.”

  I didn’t know what to say. Cello and Nika had been there for me. Giving me everything they could. But what I truly needed, only Matteo could provide. I wasn’t even sure exactly what that need was.

  We said goodbye to Nika and Cello, with me promising Nika we would have another girls date. And soon.

  “They love you,” Matteo said, once we were in his SUV.

  “They’re good to me,” I told him, sliding my fingers between his.

  “It helps to have friends and family like that.”

  “Do you have anyone you’re close with?” I asked him, brushing my thumb over his knuckles. For the first time, I noticed tiny white scars on them. My heart sped up. Something wasn’t right about that.

  “No. I don’t like to let people in.”

  That was an understatement.

  “I am a good listener though.” He winked at me. “But I am close with one of my patients. He had a hard childhood and needed help in dealing with it.”

  “Is he okay now?”

  “He and his wife have their moments.” Matteo smiled. “But they’ve been together for years. They’re probably the strongest couple I know. I’ve never seen a love as deep as theirs.”

  “Love is hard,” I whispered, jealousy twisting in the pit of my belly.

  “Yeah. And it can destroy you,” he mumbled, gripping the steering wheel tight.

  So. True. I went to ask what exactly he had meant when we pulled up to my apartment building. “Thank you.”

  “No.” He pinched my chin. “Thank you, beautiful girl.”

  I smiled softly and met his heated gaze.

  His pink tongue peeked out, licking along his bottom lip. “Dream of me.”

  “I always do.” I cupped his cheek and placed a soft peck on his mouth.

  His hand slid to my nape, tilting my head back. “Give me your tongue.”

  I slipped my tongue into his mouth igniting a growl to leave the back of his throat.

  “Make me hard, Marketa. Make me so fucking hard, I can’t breathe.”

  I gasped into his mouth when he pulled me onto his lap.

  His hands roamed up under my skirt, digging into t
he flesh of my rear. “Hard,” he growled.

  Undulating my hips against him, I pushed into his pelvis. The heavyweight of his cock pressed into my center. We kept getting interrupted and it only built the tension between us. I had seen him. His big beautiful body but I hadn’t been able to touch him. I hadn’t been able to feel him.

  Running my fingers through his thick wavy hair, I tugged his head back and deepened the kiss.

  “Fuck,” he snarled, gripping my panties and ripped them clean off my body. Pushing my skirt to my hips, he broke the kiss. “I’m not fucking you in my car.”

  “Take me to your place.” I cupped him over his pants. “Please, Sir,” I said, licking up the side of his neck.

  “Shit.” He pushed me off of him and turned on the vehicle, pulling out of the parking lot with a screech.

  I would have laughed but all I could focus on was him hardening beneath my touch.

  Once we reached his apartment, he left the vehicle and trudged around the car to my door. He opened it, pulled me out of the car and crashed his mouth to mine. “Tonight, there will be no fucking interruptions.”

  Mae

  In a pile of limbs, we crashed to Matteo’s bed. Hands massaged. Fingers kneaded. Clothes ripped. Passion grew. Sounds of frustration and pleasure erupted around us.

  Matteo knelt between my legs. “I need you naked. I need you so fucking wet, you ache.”

  I panted and straddled his lap. “I am. I am so wet for you.”

  His fingers inched between my thighs, pushing through my slick folds. “Your sweet cunt is dripping.”

  I grabbed his hand, inserting his finger inside me.

  “You want me,” he breathed hard against my neck.

  “I want you so bad, it hurts,” I said, moving my hips against his hand.

  He pushed me back onto the bed, kissing me fully on the mouth. “You will do as I say for the rest of the night. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes.”

  “If you so much as defy me, I will punish you. Ask me how.”

  “How?” I asked, chewing my bottom lip.

  “A woman can only hand so many orgasms before she dries up. If you do not listen to me,” he pushed his finger into me hard, forcing a cry to escape my lips. “I will punish you with orgasms.”

  “Okay,” I breathed trying to rock my hips against him.

  “Remember your safeword. You still have the upper hand even if I have to punish you. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes, Sir.” I reached out to touch him when he stopped me.

  “You will not touch me.”

  “But, Matteo.”

  “No. I can’t…” His eyes went cold. “Don’t. I don’t want to have to hurt you.”

  Not touching him was punishment all on its own. He allowed my hands to roam over him when he was fully clothed but that was it.

  “I want you to hurt me,” I blurted.

  “Fuck. Marketa, stop. You do not need pain to get off. Your pussy is soaked for me and I haven’t hurt you.”

  “But I want you to,” I pleaded. “I need it.”

  In a rough move he wrapped a hand around my throat. “I’m going to tell you this only once. I’m a sadistic fuck. I get off on making women cry. Tears are my pleasure. But everything I do is because I was given consent. If I want to hurt you, and fuck me, I do, it will be because I want to. Not because you beg me like a fucking whore.”

  “I’m not a whore.” I whimpered when his fingertips pushed into my jaw.

  “No. You are not. But you want me to treat you like one, don’t you? You want me to fuck you like a dirty little slut while I smack your ass.”

  My core clenched at the thought.

  His fingers thrust into my body, stretching me, filling me. “Tell me you want to be treated like a slut. Like an animal begging at the tip of my dick for their next treat.” He pumped his fingers into me deep, inserting a forth. “Tell me.”

  “Yes,” I cried out. “I want everything you have to give me.” I gripped the comforter in my hands, moving my hips to the deep thrusts of his fingers.

  Matteo moved down the length of my body. “My sweet girl.” He blew hot air across my bare mound. “Once I’m through with you, you will no longer be sweet.” He covered my core, sucking my clit into his mouth.

  I swallowed a gasp at the rough pulls, lifting my hips to meet the impact of his mouth.

  “Pure. Fucking. Heaven,” he growled, licking his way into my body. With calloused hands, he gripped my ass, lifting my lower body off the bed. In a quick move, he flipped onto his back, holding me above him. “Ride my face. Show me what you want to do to my cock.”

  “Oh God.” I threw my head back, my hips moving of their own accord. Grinding down onto his tongue, I imagined it was his full length filling me. Stretching me wide. Giving me the pleasure I had been craving for weeks. His murmurs and groans vibrated through me, enhancing the release brewing in my core. “Matteo. Oh dear…God!” I gasped. An explosion shattered through me, my vision fading in and out.

  “Scream,” Matteo demanded, his tongue licking over my swollen clit.

  His name left my lips, my muscles trembling and quaking through the hard release.

  “Harder,” he growled, wrapping his arms around my middle. He moved me against him, helping me ride out the shock waves of the powerful orgasm.

  Once my body calmed down, he released me with a wet sounding smack and kissed my inner thigh. “No pain, Mae.”

  I sighed, crawling off of him when my legs were pulled out from under me. My face was shoved into the mattress, my knees spread apart by rough hands as a hot body towered over me.

  The back of his fingers trailed down my spine, brushing lightly over the blackened rose tattoo on my back. I opened my mouth to tell him to ignore it. To not look at the ugliness marring my skin. I knew he would want to know the story behind it eventually but at this moment, I wanted him to erase the nightmares of my past.

  Matteo’s hands move to my ass, digging into the flesh of my rear. He handled my body like it was made for him. Like he couldn’t get enough. He was rough. Determined. And I found myself giving him everything I had.

  The phone rang, stopping Matteo from going any further. “Fuck,” he snarled.

  “Ignore it,” I pleaded. “Please.”

  “I can’t,” he kissed my tailbone. “It’s my work line. Shit.” His voice sounded strained. “Don’t move, Mae,” he ordered and rose from the bed. “Santos,” he said a moment later. “How the hell did you get this number?” He walked to the foot of the bed. The clank of a chain stirred through me. “What did I tell you, Maria?” He grabbed my foot and clicked a leather cuff around the ankle. “Next month. No sooner…it is next month…shit…fine…call Cathy and she’ll set up an appointment,” he said, all the while restraining me to his bed. “No. Call her. I’m fucking busy. And lose this number.” He disconnected the call and threw the phone on his dresser.

  “Everything okay?” I asked, leaning on my elbows.

  “It is now.” He kissed my mouth.

  “It’s like we’re not meant to be,” I said, taking his breath deep into my lungs.

  “This is going to fucking happen, Marketa. I turned off my phone.” He kissed me again and moved around to the end of the bed.

  “But it’s your work phone,” I reminded him.

  “And they can wait. Only one patient knows how to get a hold of me if I have my phone off. If I don’t respond, he knows I am busy.” He winked and kissed my rear. Sinking his teeth into the flesh, he groaned. “Delicious.”

  “I…I don’t want to take you away from your work.”

  He wrapped his hand in my hair and pulled my head back. “Quiet. I’m only telling you this once. Or I will shove my dick so far down your throat, you won’t be able to speak for a week.”

  My eyes widened. He wouldn’t.

  “I would.”

  I winced, not realizing I spoke out loud. “I’m sorry, Sir.”

  “Last warnin
g.” A zipper lowered sending a shiver down my spine.

  My heart sped up.

  When the sound of a tin foil package ripped open, a sheen of sweat covered my skin like a second layer.

  “Safeword.”

  “Santos,” I said, huskily.

  “Good girl.” Matteo grabbed my wrists, holding them above my head. “I’m going to rip you open,” he snarled against my neck, rubbing the tip of his cock over my slick center. “Your pretty pussy is soaking.”

  “Please,” I whispered, trembling beneath him.

  “You don’t fucking listen.” At that point, he slammed into me.

  I screamed, my body stretching to meet his size. A twinge of pain ripped through me as my core gripped him tight.

  “I told you,” he slid out of me. “To keep quiet unless you have to use your safeword.” He pulled me to all fours and landed a hard swat on my ass. “Do you need to use your safeword, Marketa?”

  “No.” I gasped for breath when he sank back into me. He was huge. His large body, although I saw him before, was not what I was expecting. I felt full. Overwhelmed by the size of him. My hands gripped the blankets, curling them into tight fists.

  “Are you sure?” he asked, slowly sliding out of my body.

  “Yes. Oh yes,” I cried.

  “Good answer.” He tugged my hair, pulling me upright. “Slide your body down my cock, beautiful girl.”

  Lowering onto him, I let out a sigh of pure bliss.

  He wrapped his hand around my throat, hooking his arm around my middle. “Ride me. Hard.”

  My body slammed against his, circling onto him like I needed him to survive. Like I needed him to live.

  Holding me against him, his hips picked up speed. “Don’t come until I say.”

  “But—”

  “That’s it,” he snapped, pushing me onto my stomach and forced my legs apart with is knees. “I told you what I would do to you if you didn’t listen to me. I know we’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks, Marketa, but you like defying me, don’t you?”

  I took in a deep breath. “No.”

  “You’re lying.” His hand grazed down the side of my body. “I was going to be nice. Be a gentleman. Show you a little kink and that’s it. But you not listening to me has pissed me off.” His voice lowered. “Now I’m going to show you what it’s truly like to be fucked by a sadist.”