Beautiful Pain

by J. M. Walker

  “I’m sorry for freaking out.” Mae shook herself, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.

  “Don’t be sorry. If we didn’t have these talks, I would never know if I was doing something wrong. Or the other way around. Communication is key.”

  “Says a man who doesn’t like talking.”

  “I like talking to you,” I corrected. “I need to talk to you.” Which reminded me that I had to go into work tomorrow. Yay. Fucking. Me.

  “I’m glad.” She smiled. “Now about this dress…”

  (Mae)

  “Matteo…I’m not sure about this,” I called out from inside the dressing room. I spun in circles, looking over and over at my reflection in the mirror.

  “You’re breathtaking no matter what.”

  I let out a frustrated sigh. The dress was beautiful but I was short and curvy. Well I was average height standing at 5’5” but compared to Matteo, I felt small. Which was probably a good thing. God, my brain was going off on a tangent. The dress was black, hugging my curves but it still didn’t feel right.

  Matteo peaked his head in, his eyes widening and then darkening suddenly. Something flashed in his gaze as it roamed down the length of my body.

  I swallowed hard, learning rather quickly what that look meant. “What do you think?”

  “If we were at my place, I’d fuck you, forcing you to watch me destroy your body,” he said on a raspy growl.

  I inhaled a gasp, looking back at my reflection. The black dress was casual but the way it pushed up my breasts, gave it a sexy appeal.

  His words always so honest and inviting, sent a flutter of desire tingling between my legs. “So you’re happy with the dress?” I teased, spinning in a circle.

  “Oh yes. And I plan on doing nasty things to you in it.”

  My cheeks heated. “Just please don’t ruin it. I’d like to keep it.”

  “Deal.” Matteo leaned towards me, kissing the spot between my cleavage.

  “Hmm…” Running my fingers through his hair, I gave the soft strands a light tug. A sharp pinch exploded through the flesh of my breast forcing a cry to leave my lips.

  He lifted his head, a slight smirk spreading on his gorgeous rugged face.

  I glanced down where he had bit me, a bruise slowly forming on my pale skin.

  “Now people will know that you belong to someone.” He swept his tongue lightly over the mark, easing the sting his teeth had provided.

  My eyes popped to his. He left his mark on me, for other people to see and it was one of the hottest things I had ever experienced. He staked his claim. There would be no hesitation on letting him do it again either.

  Matteo rubbed his thumb over the small bruise, his gaze taking on a faraway look. “If I could have my marks all over you…”

  “Permanently?” I asked, my breath catching.

  “I…Not…quite. I don’t fucking know,” he stammered.

  I raised an eyebrow. Matteo Santos had difficulty speaking? Hell had definitely frozen over.

  “I don’t want scars on you like they were forced onto me. Please know that.”

  “Of course. I know you would never hurt me.” Grazing my hands up his shirt, I could feel the muscles of his hard torso moving under my touch. “You would never do something to permanently damage me. My soul is broken. Our souls are broken but together we can mend them, fixing them piece by piece until they’re whole and strong.”

  “You have too much faith in me,” Matteo muttered, leaving the dressing room.

  “Matteo,” I called out but never got a response. I quickly grabbed my clothes and left the small dressing area, finding Matteo at the checkout.

  “The dress is paid for.” And with that, he left the tent, walking out into the sun and shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants.

  “Ma’am? Want me to cut the tag off for you?” the cashier asked.

  “Yes, please,” I said, not taking my eyes off of Matteo. His words pierced my heart. Of course I had faith in him. He was the strongest person I knew. Enduring so much at such a young age, he still came out powerful in the end. I just needed to figure out how to make him see that.

  “Ma’am, you’re good to go.”

  “Thank you.” I left the tent, tentatively making my way towards Matteo. “Are you okay?”

  He stopped in his tracks. “I love you. Every time I see you or talk to you, or even just text you, I fall in love with you all over again.” He closed the distance between us, surprising me by lowering to his knees.

  “Matteo,” I gasped.

  He didn’t say anything, he only placed his hands palms up on his thighs.

  My heart jumped. Oh God…he…was presenting himself to me.

  Matteo was submitting.

  To me.

  And it broke my heart.

  Matteo

  Falling to my knees in public was not something I had set out to do when I woke up that morning. Mae having faith in me grated on my nerves. I couldn’t quite explain why it had irritated me so much. I loved her. And it messed with my head.

  “My love,” Mae said softly, brushing her fingers through my hair. “Please stand up.”

  But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I wanted Mae to know that she was the only one truly in control.

  Morgan would never get me to submit. Not again. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Although I hadn’t seen or spoke to her in a while, I knew she was lurking. It was a game to her. And it was only a matter of time before she would show up, dig her claws into me and force me to be the monster I had tried so hard to avoid.

  “Matteo,” Mae pleaded. “Please.”

  I grabbed her hand, pulling her down to her knees in front of me.

  “What—”

  “Quiet,” I said, a little too harshly but sometimes a sub needed to be spoken to in a certain way before they’ll listen.

  “People are watching,” Mae said, looking around us.

  “I don’t care.” And I didn’t. I grew up not caring. “Let them watch.”

  “Sir.”

  “Listen to me.” I kissed her knuckles.

  Her gaze slid to mine.

  “This is me, laying it all out on the line for you. Falling in love with you makes me feel vulnerable. Like I’m stripped bare, constantly walking around naked. But as each day passes, the love grows, building a barrier, helping me get that strength back that was taken from me as a child.”

  “I…” Mae’s voice wavered. “Gosh, for a man who doesn’t talk, when you do…” Tears welled in her eyes. “It takes my breath away.”

  A small smile spread on my face. “You take my breath away, Marketa, and I never want it back.”

  Mae threw her arms around my neck. “I love you. I love you so damn much. Thank you for talking to me. I know it’s hard for you and for me but…thank you.” She kissed me fully on the mouth. “We will build new barriers together.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  “What is this place?” Mae asked as we walked hand in hand up the parking lot to Mexitaco.

  The Mexican bar and grill was my home away from home. It was authentic in the way they kept it like the country I was born in. “This is my favorite place to hang out at when I need to unwind,” I told her.

  “Does it remind you of Mexico?” she asked, her eyes glittering with excitement as they moved side to side over our surroundings.

  “It does but lately it hasn’t been enough.” Realizing that was truth I had never admitted before, I cleared my throat when a pain twisted at my gut. I missed home. I missed everything about Mexico.

  “Would you take me there sometime?” Mae asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

  I hesitated. “You want to come to Mexico with me?”

  “Yes. I would love to see where you grew up.”

  “Okay. I would love to take you.” My heart jumped. No woman had ever seen where I grew up. Look at me being all adult like. “But it’s not always safe.”

  “Please,” Mae scoffed. “You do r
emember where I’m from right?”

  “Touché.” I kissed her head. “Now let’s eat, drink and dance.”

  Mae giggled.

  That sweet sound reverberated through me, caressing my soul like the sensual sound of music. I could listen to it over and over again.

  Once we headed inside, we were greeted by the owner of the bar.

  “Matteo Santos.” Ricky clapped a large hand on my shoulder. “It’s been awhile.” His dark gaze slid to Mae. “And who’s this pretty little flower?”

  Mae’s cheeks reddened, her hand tightening in mine.

  “This is Marketa Doby,” I pulled her against me. “My girlfriend.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Ricky said gently, giving her a polite nod.

  “It’s nice to meet you too.” She smiled.

  “Wherever you want to sit, it’s all yours.” Ricky clapped his hands together. “The band is getting ready and then it’s dancing time,” he exclaimed with a shake of his hips.

  I chuckled, leading Mae down the aisle to a booth off to the side of the bar. Sliding onto the bench, I waited for her to do the same when I tugged her against me. “I chose this spot so I can do whatever I want to you and no one would know,” I purred in her ear.

  She shivered. “And what do you want to do to me?”

  “Hmm…” I brushed my nose up the length of her neck, inhaling the vanilla scent of her body lotion. “Everything. Every dirty nasty thing I can think of.”

  “Tell me.” She cupped my inner thigh, digging her nails into the muscle.

  “Demanding are we?” I teased, nipping the soft spot under her ear.

  “Always,” she grinned, leaning into me. “Are you going to tell me?”

  Nope. “I’ll show you instead.” Throughout the night, by the time I was done, I would have her panting and writhing, begging for my cock.

  “I’m in for a test on if I can handle anticipation or not aren’t I?”

  “Yup.”

  Mae let out a huff as the waitress came to our table.

  We ordered drinks and a plate of nachos. And I found a part of myself wanting to feed Mae. “You are so beautiful,” I whispered.

  She caught my gaze, her cheeks flushing slightly. “You make me feel beautiful. Like I’m the only woman that exists.”

  “You are.” In my world at least.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, frowning.

  “I’m wondering what you saw in me. That first day,” I cleared my throat. “At Cello’s.”

  Mae smiled, leaning her head back against the bench. “I saw a man who was lonely. His eyes were so dark, they were like pits of emptiness. I found myself wanting to fill them with life. And then when you asked me to have a drink with you, I was actually shocked.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m not your typical woman that gets hit on or picked up. I’m average. I’m used to it.”

  Like hell. “Mae, you are beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Inside and out. You make me feel like a man. You make me feel like I belong. I have never felt this before you.”

  She swallowed hard, reaching for my hand. “This is intense.”

  “I agree. I love teasing you but you throw it right back at me. That’s what I enjoy. This,” I held up our joined hands. “Everything else is an added bonus. I know I have issues talking about some things but it’s so easy to have a casual conversation with you. I need it. I need you.”

  “You have me,” she whispered, wiping a lonely tear that rolled down her cheek.

  My heart swelled. We sat in silence, listening to the Mexican music coming through the speakers while the band continued setting up their equipment. I had meant every word that left my lips. I didn’t know what else I was trying to say.

  “Are you okay?” Mae asked me, giving the back of my hand a light kiss.

  “Yes. Are you having a good time?” I asked as the waitress brought over our food and drinks.

  “I am.” Mae took a sip of her red wine, letting out a purr when she swallowed it. “So good.”

  My dick jumped, pushing against the zipper of my pants. It still surprised me how much she had an effect on me. “You drinking wine is one of the hottest things I have ever seen.”

  Her cheeks reddened. “Seriously?”

  “I want to drink it off of your body,” I said, brushing my fingers along her nape.

  “Oh God. Matteo, you need to stop.” Mae squirmed in her seat.

  “Why? Am I making you wet?” I asked, kissing her shoulder.

  Her head snapped to mine. “Two can play at this game, Sir.”

  I was the Master of anticipation. Mae had no idea who—

  A small hand cupped me over my pants, squeezing to the point of painful.

  My dear Marketa liked to play dirty. “You have no idea what you are dealing with, pet,” I growled.

  “Oh I have an idea.” Mae crawled over my lap, pulling the hem of her dress up her thighs, teasing and taunting me. She righted her dress, covering up what rightfully belonged to me.

  “What the fuck?” I snarled, my dick jumping.

  Mae grinned. “Now you know how I feel.”

  “You can’t offer me the goods without letting me have a taste,” I said through clenched teeth.

  “Can’t I?” she pouted. “Aww. Is my love turned on? Are you hard for me, Matteo?”

  Fuck me, she was good. “Little girl, this is not a game that you will win.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe not. But I sure am going to have fun teasing you for the rest of the night.”

  Shit.

  (Mae)

  The look on Matteo’s face was priceless. His jaw clenched, his eyes darkened, no doubt thinking of ways to punish me later. If we made it to then. No matter what he did, whether it be something small or not, he turned me on to the point it hurt. His words. His looks. His pure and utter domination had me melting into a pile of desire.

  I wanted to play. I wanted this night to be about us. Falling more in love. Getting to know more about each other. Being one in our relationship. being us. This cat and mouse game of Domination versus submission would no doubt get me an ass whooping later but it would all be worth it in the end.

  I drank the rest of my wine, reveling in the fact that Matteo was stewing.

  “Are you denying me access to your pussy?”

  I laughed, choking on my drink. “What would you do if I was?”

  Matteo scratched his jaw. “Your pussy belongs to me. I own it and I crave it. If I could spend the rest of my life with my face between your thighs, never coming up for air, I would.”

  “Do you like the taste of me?” I purred, licking my bottom lip.

  “Marketa,” he growled in warning.

  Inching a hand under my dress, I discreetly grazed my hand up my inner thigh.

  “Mae,” Matteo said, his voice pained. Something flashed in his gaze. The desperation was no longer there as his domination shone through. Cupping my nape, he gave it a light squeeze. “You think you can tease me? You think you’re woman enough to play this game? Little girl, I am the fucking Master and I am your Dom.” He grabbed the hand between my legs. “Now you’re going to finger fuck your pussy. I want you to come. Hard.”

  I whimpered, no longer having control of the situation.

  “Imagine people walking by. Think they’ll know what you’re doing? What if the waitress stops by? Will you get embarrassed? Will you blush? The anticipation of getting caught…will it make you come, my dirty girl?” His fingers wrapped around mine, pushing my hand against my mound. “I can feel the heat coming off of you.” He laughed. “And you thought you were in control.”

  I glared up at him. “I am always in control.”

  “Good girl.” He sat back, casually brushing his fingers over my nape.

  I blinked. Once. Twice. But he didn’t do anything more. What the hell? “What are you doing?”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, a teasing lilt to his voice
.

  “I thought you wanted me to come.”

  “I do. But not here. I changed my mind.” He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. “Anticipation, sweet girl.”

  “What?” I pouted. “Please.”

  “You’re going to wait to come.” Holding my hand, he licked my fingers, nipping the pads gently.

  My mouth opened and closed. Oh he was evil. Well I could play. And I would win. “Fine. Dance with me.”

  “You want to dance?” He took a couple deep breaths. “I need a moment.”

  “Nope.” I pushed him. “Dance with me. Now.”

  “You want me to go out there sporting a raging hard on?”

  “Don’t worry.” I patted his arm. “I’ll cover it up with my ass.”

  “Oh I am going to have fun destroying your body later.”

  “Not if I destroy yours first.” I pushed him again. “Move.”

  “Mae.”

  “Or did you want me to help you?” Reaching for his belt, I started unbuckling it.

  “What do you think you’re doing, little girl?” he growled, grabbing my wrists.

  Pulling free from his hold, I cupped him, stroking gently over his fabric covered length. “Do you feel that? How hard you are for me? I bet this hurts doesn’t it? So veiny and throbbing. Mmm…it makes my mouth water.”

  “Shit, Marketa.” His fingers tightened around my wrists.

  “Do you want to come, my love?” I asked, licking my tongue up the length of his jaw.

  “Fuck yes.”

  I peered around the room, making sure no one was in sight.

  Matteo pinched my chin. “No one will see your pretty lips wrapped around my cock.”

  I finished undoing his belt, pulling his length free from the confines of his pants. Wrapping a hand around the base of him, I squeezed.

  He let out a hiss when my palm came into contact with his dick. “Now.”

  A surge of power erupted through me while I lowered my mouth down the length of him. His hips bucked, his fingers wrapping in my hair. By the thrusts of his hips, I knew he was close. My tongue ran over him, savoring the sweet salty taste.

  “Suck harder. I need you…fuck…”