My Soul to Win

by Robin Roseau

  With prompting from Grace, the kids taught us the song. It was simple and fun and sounded really cool. I couldn’t help but smile, and Kate looked radiant with her own smile. Eventually the song ended, and I found myself laughing. I wasn’t the only one.

  There were more songs; they taught us some. For others, we just listened. And there were a few more solo or small group performances.

  At one point, Marley stood. She walked around the circle, stopping behind me. She knelt down and whispered, “Will you dance with me, Teigan?”

  “I would love to,” I said. She offered a hand, and I moved into her arms.

  She led, and it felt so good to be held by her. We danced around the exterior of the room, nothing fancy, but moving and turning, then swaying from time to time. I think the kids who were playing kept the song going an extra chorus or three, but finally it ended, Marley moving us both into a final pose over the last lingering notes. And then she pulled me to her, and we hugged tightly.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  She clung more tightly. “I missed you so much.”

  Then she led me back to my seat between Grace and Kate before returning to her own place, but before she arrived, Grace stood. “Marley Jae.” Marley turned to face Grace. “Have you ever taught dance?”

  “She taught me,” Sue Ellen offered.

  “Only informal lessons.”

  “Perhaps I shouldn't ask with an audience, but I want to put you on the spot. Do you think you could lead dance lessons?”

  “Now?”

  “I was thinking perhaps I’d give you a little time to devise a program. Maybe you want to test with a small sample of students.”

  Immediately about ten hands went up, including Lisa Jean’s. Grace smiled. Sue Ellen didn’t raise her hand. Instead, she made a praying gesture to her mother. Marley didn’t see it, but I nodded, and Marley followed my gaze. Her expression softened. “A youth or adult program, Pastor Grace?”

  “A church program,” Grace replied. “Perhaps we could encourage parents to come with their children.”

  “My mom would totally come, but not in the afternoon,” Lisa Jean said.

  “I think perhaps we should phrase it as an invitation, not an obligation,” Grace suggested. She smiled at Marley. “Feeling on the spot?”

  “Yes,” Marley admitted. “I’d like to try with a sample. Teigan, you’ll be there, right?”

  “Yes,” Grace said. “She will.”

  “Is Teigan going to bring her father?” one of the girls asked. I didn’t know her name.

  “No,” I said. “But maybe Kate wants to be my mother.”

  Kate tittered. “You did not just say that!” The kids laughed.

  “We’ll figure that out,” Grace said. “We have the youth programs Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. Could we do Monday and Thursday evenings at seven, Marley Jae?”

  “Yes, but perhaps not beginning tonight.”

  “We can discuss those details another time,” Grace replied. “Thank you, Marley Jae. You and Teigan Dove were beautiful.”

  Marley smiled and then sat down beside her daughter, who hugged her and whispered into her ear. Marley nodded to her.

  Grace looked around, her gaze settling on Kate. “Katherine Marti, would you sing for us?”

  “This time is for the kids,” Kate replied.

  “And the kids would love to hear a song from you,” Grace said. To punctuate her words, the kids began clapping.

  Kate looked around and then leaned to me. “She’s trouble, that one.” I smiled at her and joined in the clapping. “And so, apparently, are you.” But she stood up, and the clapping grew more enthusiastic.

  Kate made her way into the center of the circle then looked at the kids holding musical instruments. She moved to one girl and knelt down. “Would it offend you if I were to borrow your flute?”

  “Not at all.” The girl took a moment with a rag, and then she offered the flute to Kate. Kate thanked her and straightened.

  Then she turned a slow circle. “This is a very old song from a different land. I’m not going to teach you the words. My mother used to sing this song to me.” Then she looked at the flute. “I have not played this instrument in some years. I need a moment.”

  She lifted the flute then played several notes. She made a small adjustment, and then she played a scale, up and down. Then, without really any introduction, she launched into her song.

  It was sweet and lovely. She played the flute, then she lowered it and began to sing. I didn’t know a single word, but I was sure she was singing in a fae language.

  The elf was singing in elvish.

  And she had one of the most beautiful voices I’d ever heard. For the second time since we arrived, tears welled in my eyes. Grace leaned against me, and this time, I lowered my head against hers.

  Kate sang for a minute then lifted the flute again. She played, and then she sang two more verses before playing the flute a little longer. Finally, she let the final note fade and slowly lowered the flute. She spoke a few words, her head bowed. And then she knelt and held the flute towards its owner. “Thank you.”

  And the kids began clapping loudly.

  Wings

  Kate warned me when Beth and Rachel were close. Kate and Grace orchestrated events, sending me out the back of the church as Beth and Rachel came in through the front. I ran around the exterior, keeping a good distance from the church. And then I entered from the front, locking the doors as I did so.

  I didn’t really want any surprises.

  I didn’t know, I didn’t absolutely know what was going to happen, but I felt pretty confident. Kate and I didn’t explain why I was doing it this way, only that I wanted everyone actually in the sanctuary.

  I looked in from the back of the nave. Marley and Sue Ellen were there, Grace and Kate, Beth, and a woman I decided must be Rachel. I took a deep breath and then entered the nave, striding up the aisle. I made it not even ten steps when I felt Beth in front of me, and my body responded.

  I didn’t have to look to know the wings were spreading, although I did glance left and right to ensure they were out and up rather than brushing the pews.

  From ahead of me, there were several gasps. Of course, Beth and Kate were warned. Grace’s mouth hung open, and hers wasn’t the only one.

  I reached the steps. Sue Ellen and Rachel were both on their knees. I climbed the three steps and shook my head. “No,” I said. “Please, no.” I moved to Sue Ellen first, taking her hands and lifting her.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I doubted you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

  I cupped her cheek. “You were right to doubt me,” I told her. I kissed the other cheek. “I need to talk to Rachel now.”

  I stepped directly backwards, then edged sideways, glancing around more to make sure I wasn’t going to knock anything over. I pulled Rachel to her feet.

  Her mouth opened and closed several times. “Hello, Rachel. Do you remember me?”

  “Have we met?” she asked. “You’re…”

  “I have a very long story, Rachel.” She looked… old. It made me sad. She had been young, but beautiful. Sweet, and once with such innocence. Evaline had taken the innocence from her, although I didn’t entirely blame the demon for that. Rachel made her bed, even if she had done so misguidedly. “Rachel, have you forgiven yourself for your mistakes?”

  She dropped her gaze. “I’ve begged God, but I don’t think he listens to me anymore. I did terrible things.”

  “I don’t want to overplay this,” I said. “But I think perhaps God is listening just fine. What do you think?”

  “You’re an…”

  “She’s an angel,” Kate said. “That is not at all the first thing I would have expected of Detective Teigan St. Claire. But she’s a freaking angel.”

  “More like a freaking out angel,” I muttered. “Rachel, there’s a lot I haven’t really figured out. I think these are a practical joke.” I reached up with a han
d and brushed one of the wings.

  Grace moved forward. “They aren’t a joke, Teigan Dove, and you know it.” She lifted a hand then hesitated.

  I smiled at her. “Touch all you want. Please don’t tug. And I don’t have very good control over them. Everyone is responsible to avoid getting beaned in the head.”

  Yes, Grace touched, and then Marley and Sue Ellen were there, holding hands, but looking at the wings. Kate and Beth both stood back, neither of them saying anything. Kate was openly smiling. I couldn’t read Beth’s expression. I turned my focus back to Rachel. “You made a misguided choice, Rachel. You attempted to hurt someone who wasn’t hurting anyone. You didn’t make that choice because you were evil, but simply because you felt it was the right thing to do.”

  She dropped her gaze from me. “You know about that. Of course you do.”

  I used my fingers to lift her chin. “Rachel,” I said gently. “I have a very long story. I was the one who convinced Evaline to set you free. Evaline was not evil, but it was very difficult for her to entirely set aside her nature.” I looked at Beth. “Have you ever told her?”

  “No.” But she nodded, and I took that permission.

  “Rachel, Evaline released you into the care of an angel.”

  “You?”

  “No. Technically, a quarter angel. Turn around and look at your cousin.”

  She did, just a glance, and then she turned fully. “Beth, you’re glowing.”

  “Am I?”

  “Not as brightly as she is,” Kate said, hooking a thumb at me, but she made a show of shielding her eyes. “Yes. Show off.”

  “I’ve never glowed before,” Beth said, looking at me.

  “Yeah, well, I’m not exactly the angelic type, either,” I pointed out. “Rachel, Beth is part angel.”

  “She is?”

  “She is, and she loves you so much. Do you think an angel could love someone who wasn’t worthy of love?”

  “I don’t know,” she whispered.

  “Maybe you should listen to your own words,” Beth said, looking at me. She looked from wingtip to wingtip. “That has to be twenty feet.”

  “More than that,” Kate said.

  “Each,” Beth clarified.

  “Oh,” Kate said. “All right. Sure. I can see that.”

  “Teigan, do you think you can fly?” Sue Ellen asked.

  “No. I think they’re for show, and darned annoying, too.” I looked over my shoulder. “Most of you know most of the story, but I think we should go over it one more time. But.” I looked at Marley. “I’m getting tired of telling it. I never knew last names, or if I did, I don’t remember. Can you find more people who might still love Evaline?”

  “Of course I can,” she said. “Now?”

  “Can you get them to come here?”

  “I can try,” she said. “What should I tell them?”

  “Ask them if they still love Evaline, and how much they’d do for her. Anyone who says ‘anything’ should be willing to drop whatever she is doing and come.”

  “Girls only?”

  “We’ll take anyone,” I said.

  “I’m on it.”

  “Thank you, Poppy,” I said. She didn’t even flinch. Instead, she nodded and smiled.

  “Grace, Beth, I need you to talk to Rachel. She needs more healing and confidence.”

  They nodded.

  “Kate. Sue Ellen. Want to help me with these things?” I shrugged my shoulders, which rippled the wings.

  “Sure!” Sue Ellen said. Kate smiled and nodded.

  We split up, but not far. Marley sat down on a pew with her phone. Beth and Grace led Rachel to another pew, but they stayed close. Kate and Sue Ellen stepped to me. They both ducked under my wings and did a tour. “Can I touch one?”

  “Don’t pull the feathers,” I said. Then I held still as the two of them examined the wings, tip to root, talking quietly. Their touch actually felt nice, and I closed my eyes for a while.

  For now, I was at peace, but I knew it wouldn’t last.

  Then Kate was in front of me. I opened my eyes. She shook her head. “You just have to upstage everyone.”

  “Has anyone asked you what language you sang earlier?”

  “No.”

  “Are you going to answer if they do?”

  “It might depend on who asks,” she said.

  “Is it some secret?” Sue Ellen asked from behind me. She ducked under my left wing and looked Kate up and down. “Are you some sort of angel, too?”

  “No,” Kate said. “Do you trust this one, Teigan?”

  “She’s here, and she’s proven remarkably resilient so far. Kate, this doesn’t have to be your fight.”

  “Am I welcome, Teigan? I’d really like to stay.”

  “You’re very welcome and appreciated. Kate, are you as old as I think you might be?”

  “It depends on whether you think I’m old or ancient. Old, yes. Ancient? No.”

  “You don’t look that old,” Sue Ellen said.

  Kate turned to her. “The language I sang earlier? Some might call it Old Gaelic.”

  “That’s, like, Irish?”

  “It’s more complicated than that,” Kate said. “Of course, those people would be wrong.”

  “So it’s not Old Gaelic.”

  “No.”

  “Then why did you say it was?”

  “I didn’t,” Kate said. “I was telling you what some people might call it. I, you see, never lie. So I wouldn’t call it Old Gaelic. That would be a lie.”

  “A lawyer who never lies?”

  “I know, and here you have two of them. Beth never lies, either.”

  I smirked at the exchange, wondering if Kate could successfully redirect Sue Ellen. And then the girl folded her arms. That made me laugh. She glanced at me, looked at Kate, and then turned back to me again. “Do you know what language she was singing?”

  “I have no idea what it’s called,” I said. “But I imagine some call it Old Gaelic.”

  “Now you’re doing it!”

  I glanced at Kate, who nodded. “Others might call it Elvish.”

  “Get out of here!” Sue Ellen exclaimed. Then her arms tightened further. “Both of you are teasing me.”

  “A little,” I said. “I’m fairly certain if I called Kate an elf, she’d take offense.”

  I turned to her, and she nodded. “It’s not the preferred term, but I wouldn’t make that big a deal over it. I’d simply remind you I prefer the term fae.”

  Sue Ellen looked back and forth between us. I could practically see her running the conversation over a few times. “You’re an elf.”

  “That is what some call my species,” Kate said. “I would ask you to use fae, but I won’t grow angry if you say elf.”

  “I want you to say it straight out,” Sue Ellen said. “None of those word games.”

  “Sue Ellen Mann,” Kate said formally. “I am not at all human. My species prefer to be called fae. Elf is actually not correct, but I pick my battles. I would prefer you avoid the term fairy.”

  “You’re serious,” Sue Ellen said. “This isn’t a word game.”

  “It’s not a word game,” I confirmed.

  Sue Ellen looked around. “Who else knows?”

  “Beth does,” I said. “Marley?”

  “No,” Kate said.

  “If you’re an elf, or fae, or whatever word you want me to use, why aren’t your ears pointed?”

  “Maybe you should look more closely, young human,” Kate said with a smirk. Sue Ellen did just that, setting both hands on Kate’s right shoulder and peering very closely. And, right in front of the girl’s eyes, Kate’s ears lengthened, and lengthened further. By the time they were done, they were six or eight inches tall, slightly furry, and pointed up alongside her head, now the tallest point on her. At the same time, she appeared to lose thirty years of age. “Ah. Much better.”

  “Your… your… your ears just grew.”

  “That was probably
how it appeared,” Kate replied with another smirk. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve done this, Teigan?”

  “No clue.”

  “May I touch one?” Sue Ellen asked.

  “Be gentle,” Kate said with a nod. Sue Ellen didn’t wait. She reached up and brushed fingers along Kate’s right ear.

  “It’s fuzzy.”

  “That tickles,” Kate said. She turned her head and looked at the girl. “Tell me, young human. Do you know what will happen if you try to post about this on social media?”

  “Some things never change,” I muttered.

  “I won’t,” Sue Ellen said. “I know I can’t talk about any of this with anyone. I don’t care. This is so cool!” She gave a little bounce. “That song you sang was so beautiful. Will you sing more? Are you going to come all the time now? Will you take lessons with Mom?”

  Kate laughed. “I don’t know the answer to any of those questions. Yes, if there is an opportunity, I will sing again. No, I probably will not come all the time, but maybe this isn’t my only visit to this very welcoming church. My kind is not often welcome in churches.” She looked around. “I like this church.”

  “I like this church, too,” Sue Ellen said.

  “Kate,” I asked. “Why isn’t anyone paying attention to your ears?”

  “Probably because I’m standing on this side of your wings, Teigan.” She sighed. “If you want to brush them once more, young human, you may. Then I must put myself back.”

  “You’re not going to tell the others?”

  “Oh, I suppose I am, but I think we should focus on Teigan’s wings, don’t you?”

  “I suppose,” Sue Ellen agreed. “You don’t mind?”

  “I would if you weren’t so polite,” Kate said. “Go ahead.” She turned her head to offer the ear again. Sue Ellen stared and then caressed it again, smiling widely as she did it.

  And then, while we looked on, the ears retreated to resemble normal human ears, and Kate took on an apparent age of nearly sixty. I sighed.

  “Something for another day,” Kate said. “What do you want us to do with your wings, Teigan?”

  “I need to learn how to control them,” I said. “Fold them. Make them go away, if I can. Kate, do you think you and Sue Ellen could very slowly and carefully try to fold one? I don’t even know if it works that way.”