My Soul to Win

by Robin Roseau

  “No.”

  “Neither do I,” I said. “I need you here, with Grace and as much of her congregation as we can assemble.” I turned. “Jebediah, I understand if you don’t come. You have responsibilities here, and I can protect your soul, but I can’t promise everything I wish I could promise.”

  He looked into my eyes. “Naomi isn’t the only one who owes Evaline. When are we doing this?”

  “Sunday,” I said.

  Part Two

  Portal

  The church was full. Grace had called everyone and begged them to come to services. My small army was there with their families. I’d even met Jebediah’s ex-wife.

  Kate appeared to be a no-show. I could have used her with me, but I understood, and I didn’t blame her. I only wish she’d told me she wasn’t coming.

  Beth was in the house. Grace warned people there would be a different program today. She conducted a half hour service, and then she invited me to the sanctuary. I was wearing a backless dress this time, one Beth had picked up for me. And then Grace talked about faith, but Marley called Beth.

  I felt her draw nearer. And then, as the wings appeared, the entire congregation broke out into an uproar. They stood, and then a few began crying. Some knelt. No one fled, which actually surprised me.

  Beth, glowing, walked to me and hugged me. Then Grace stepped over and hugged me before handing me a microphone. Careful of the wings, I said, “I know this is startling. I know you’re wondering what this means. I hope no one has published to social media yet. I am going to ask you not to.”

  I paused then said, “Twenty-five years ago, I was taken to Hell. Literally, Hell. I was not dead, which made me somewhat of an oddity. I belonged to a demon. Some time ago, and while I am not sure exactly how long it has been, I would say a year or two, my demon loaned me to another, and that demon killed me.”

  I took a breath. I’d told the story enough times now. “I expected to become a lost soul of Hell, which is worse than being a living human in Hell, much worse, or so I thought. Instead, I came to slow awareness, and I wasn’t in Hell anymore.”

  “Heaven,” several people said, then more echoed it.

  “Maybe,” I said. “I don’t know. This May, I was sent back here. And now I need your help. A friend of mine is in Hell, and I’m going to go get her. I’m taking a few people with me, a few who love her. And I need as many of you to stay here, to hold this sacred ground, to help hold it sacred, so we have sanctuary.

  “I can’t say it’s safe. It’s not like I’ve ever done something like this. Beth and Grace will remain here. Beth is a quarter angel herself. She and Grace will protect you. I’m leaving in two hours.”

  Then, careful of the wings, I slowly turned around, letting everyone see what they could see.

  * * * *

  The doors to the church opened. And then striding forward like an avenging angel herself came Kate. She was dressed in shining armor, the hilt of a sword in her hand, dragging a very, very large wheeled duffle bag behind her. The entire congregation turned to watch.

  Here and there, I heard, “Her ears,” or, “She’s an elf!”

  She dropped the duffle at the steps to the sanctuary and stepped up to face me. “You didn’t think I’d miss this, did you? Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve battled a demon?”

  I stepped forward and hugged her. “Thank you.”

  “I’m sorry I made you worry,” she whispered. “It took me longer than I thought to collect everything I needed.” Then she stepped away. She bent and opened the duffle. “Where is Sue Ellen?”

  “I’m here,” Sue Ellen stepped forward. “Did you bring it, Kate?”

  “I did,” she said. She stood, holding a shining chainmail tunic.

  “No!” I boomed.

  “I’m going!” Sue Ellen declared. “I love Evaline, too, and I’m going.”

  “I need you here.”

  “I’m going,” she said. And then, over my protestations, Kate helped Sue Ellen into the tunic.

  I looked for Marley, not finding her at first. But then she emerged from the hallway leading to Grace’s office. She strode forward liked she owned the church, her tuxedo tails waving behind her, the top hat pinned in place. She wore long opera gloves, fishnet stockings, and heels.

  She was entirely Poppy.

  “Mom!” Sue Ellen said. “Kate brought me elven mithril.”

  “It’s not mithril,” Kate muttered.

  “Good,” Poppy said. She strode to her daughter and kissed her cheek.

  “I have one for you, Poppy.”

  “I’ll go like this,” Poppy declared.

  “Bring some sensible shoes with you,” I told her. “Poppy, Sue Ellen is staying here.”

  “I’m going,” Sue Ellen said. She took Poppy’s hand and looked at me defiantly.

  * * * *

  I looked at my circle, my mini army. Naomi and Hyacinth were in their own armor. Poppy was, well, Poppy. Kate had another two duffle bags in her car, and so the guys had their own armor, as well.

  Everyone had said goodbye. I stepped to Beth. We kissed cheeks. “Be strong for me,” I told her.

  “I will.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Teigan,” she said. “I’m not doing this for the demon. You know that. I’m doing this for you, and for the people you’re bringing with you. That being said, you go find her. You bring her back here. And then I’m going to have a few words for her.”

  I nodded. “Thank you, Beth. I never stopped loving you.”

  “And I never stopped, but we would never have stopped fighting, either.”

  “I know. I’m sorry about that part.”

  “Thank you for saving my cousin.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I moved to Grace next. We kissed, somewhat passionately at that. “I don’t know how long this is going to take.”

  “We’ll set up a rotation,” she said.

  “You stay on hallowed ground,” I said.

  “I will.”

  “I’ll try not to destroy your church.”

  “Thank you. We appreciate that.”

  We kissed once more.

  And then I looked around again. “Let’s do it.”

  Someone else may have made a speech. I wasn’t into speeches. And so I simply gestured. Sue Ellen took the salt from Poppy. We’d marked out the lines. She began pouring salt, forming the pentagon. It took several minutes, with all of us clustered together. Then Sue Ellen filled the last line and straightened.

  “Right,” I said. “Grab your packs. Don’t disturb the salt.”

  We hefted our backpacks. We had food and water. I hoped it was enough. If not, I’d send people back and go on alone.

  We wouldn’t accept any food we didn’t bring with us.

  I looked around once more. Grace and I locked gazes. Then she smiled and blew me a kiss. “Thank you,” I told her.

  “Make sure you come back.”

  I nodded then lifted my arms, but careful with my wings to avoid disturbing the salt.

  And then I spoke Greek. It just seemed right. I spoke Ancient Greek, the way Theophania had taught me. I don’t know where the incantation came from. But it felt right.

  And a portal to Hell opened before us.

  I stepped through, sweeping my army with me.

  Bound Demon

  “Holy fuck.”

  That was Jake.

  “You can say that again,” Hyacinth agreed. “Can I get three Holy Fucks and a Hail Mary?”

  “Everyone hold hands,” I said. “Sound off. Kate?”

  “I'm good,” Kate said. One-by-one, we sounded off. I counted to be sure, and I looked everyone in the eye besides.

  I looked around. It was the largely featureless ground of Theophania’s home. In the distance, I saw her castle. There was no movement, none anywhere.

  “There’s no sun,” Sue Ellen observed. “And it’s ugly.”

  “It’s Hell,” I said. “There is bea
uty to be found here, but you’re accustomed to a world of life. There is very little life here.”

  “Where are the pits?” Naomi asked. “Where are the raging fires? I don’t smell sulfur.”

  “There are pits,” I said. “I never saw any fires. But I wasn’t terribly traveled.”

  “So, where are we?” Jebediah asked. “I mean, it’s Hell, but where in Hell?”

  “This is the home of Theophania, the demon that owned me.” I pointed. “She lives there. I never tested it, but she told me if you begin walking away, you’ll eventually approach from the other side. I don’t know how that works.”

  “So Evaline is here somewhere,” Naomi said. “How do we find her?”

  “Frankly, I don’t think she’s here. I think she’s somewhere else. We’re here to find someone else.”

  “Who?”

  “The demon that killed me. Now, that one is almost certainly here.”

  * * * *

  I thought that Theophania would know the moment we arrived. Maybe she wasn’t paying attention. Maybe she was waiting to see what we did. I didn’t know. But she didn’t immediately appear. And frankly, I didn’t really know what I was doing and was largely operating on instinct.

  But I was very good at finding people.

  We walked. I made sure we stayed together, and I tasked everyone else with helping keep an eye on each other.

  I found a road. One end led to the castle. We turned the other direction, and when a path branched off, I took the branch. Five minutes later we came to the edge of one of the pits. I held them back.

  “What is that?” Jebediah asked.

  “One of the pits of Hell,” I said. “This is going to be startling. Sue Ellen, do you have one of the glow sticks?”

  “Sure, Teigan Dove.”

  “See if they work.”

  She turned her back to Poppy, who dug one out of the backpack for her. Sue Ellen broke the glass and shook it. It began to glow a cheery pink.

  “Perfect,” I said. “We’re going to do everything slowly and deliberately. I’m going to approach the pit. I should be fine, but if I slide in, don’t rush after me. We have rope. The pit will be deep, but the guys won’t have any trouble dragging me out.”

  “Maybe I should go first,” Kate offered.

  “I need you here with everyone else, Kate,” I said. I collected three of the glow sticks from Sue Ellen, and then I moved past everyone, closing the distance to the pit.

  The light only extended eight or ten feet into the pit, but I tossed the glow sticks down, one at a time. They weren’t much, but it was enough. I shuddered with the wrongness.

  “I can’t tell if this is the pit we need,” I said. “I’m going to have to descend.” I paused. “It’s ugly. It’s very ugly. But if you want to see why Hell is Hell, this is one example. Don’t all look at once.”

  Kate was first. She peered over the edge. “Are those what I think they are?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “What’s that at the bottom?” Jake asked.

  “A bound demon.”

  “There’s a demon down there?” Hyacinth asked. “What’s all that smoke?”

  “Souls,” whispered Sue Ellen. “Those are lost souls, aren’t they, Teigan Dove?”

  “Yes, honey.”

  “What are they doing?”

  “Feeding.”

  “From the demon?” she squeaked.

  “Yes.”

  She gave a visible shudder.

  “They can’t get out, can they?” Poppy asked.

  “Yes, actually, but it’s a struggle for them. I think some of them are trying.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we’re here,” I explained. “It isn’t pleasant.”

  “Teigan,” said Kate. “I think you need to stay here. I’ll go down.”

  “First, you won’t recognize the demon we’re looking for, and second, you can’t fend them off. They would have you, and I’d have to come down to rescue you.”

  “What happens to us if you’re not here?”

  I turned and looked her in the eye. “Everyone stick together. Move well away from the pit. Whatever happens, stick together. If it’s more than you can handle, drag me back out. Boys, whatever happens, you need to be ready to drag me out. I don’t care what else is happening.”

  “Got it, Teigan,” Griffen said. They roped me up. Kate moved everyone else back. When the guys were ready, I began descending into the pit.

  I garnered attention; oh, did I garner attention. Most of the souls, the ones that weren’t latched onto the demon, moved towards me. I kept an eye on them, but I didn’t think they recognized me for what I was.

  But they grew bolder long before I reached the bottom of the dark pit. One rushed in to attack. Instead, I caught it. It writhed in my hands. “Hold me here!” I yelled up. I heard Griffen relay my words.

  I eyed the soul. It writhed and tried to attack, but I used both hands. “You don’t know what you’re doing,” I said to it. “Who were you, child?”

  I opened myself. Yeah, I don’t really understand how. But I opened myself. And I saw the person this soul had once been. She’d been a woman. There had been no deal with the devil; she had been simply a mean, petty woman, given to acts of cruelty, and she’d never apologized for a thing her entire life.

  I tossed her from me. Oh, not cruelly, and I thought she might be back. Others were sniffing around, but that was all it was.

  “Okay,” I called. “Another ten or fifteen feet. You’ll know when I’m down.”

  They lowered me, and lowered me. And then my feet found the uneven ground.

  I turned, and then I lifted my hand and tried something. I didn’t know if it would work.

  “Fiat lux!”

  Let there be light.

  And there was. A ball of white light shot into the air somewhat like a flare from a flare gun, but then hovered there. It filled in the shadows and illuminated the demon.

  I wondered how long it would last.

  “Cool.”

  “Are you okay?” Griffen called down.

  “I’m fine!” I yelled.

  “The souls look kind of riled up.”

  “If you can see that,” I yelled, “You’re too close. If one grabs you, it’s going to try dragging you down here. Get back!”

  “Fine, fine.”

  I moved to the demon. I couldn’t tell if it was male or female, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t Quentaslart, the demon who had killed me. If it was aware I was there, I couldn’t tell.

  Two of the souls dived at me. I caught each. One had been a man, an evil little man. I threw it away.

  The other had been young, little more than a child. She’d made a deal with Theophania. I gulped. Her soul was dark and twisted, and I could feel her pain.

  “Child,” I whispered. “You are coming with me.” I cradled the soul, and when she slid talons into my wrist, I let her. The rest of the soul wrapped around my arm, much like a snake.

  “Haul me out of here,” I called up. “Wrong pit.”

  It took a moment, and then the rope tightened. I worried about friction at the edge of the pit, but then I saw a form. Griffen was back. I didn’t yell at him but let them pull me from the pit.

  Several of the souls tried to follow me. I sent them back into the pit, but I knew eventually a few would escape the pits they were in.

  I reached the edge, Griffen helping me, with Jebediah and Jake further away, pulling on the rope. Everyone else watched nervously. Poppy was coiling the rope up as the guys pulled me up. Kate had her sword out and was watching for other trouble.

  “What’s that?” Sue Ellen asked, pointing to my arm.

  “A soul.” I nodded to Griffen, and we closed the distance to everyone else. By the time I arrived, they were all watching me. I held my hands up, and Jebediah untied the rope from around me.

  “That’s a soul?” Hyacinth asked. “What is it doing?”

  “Trying to feed, but it doesn’
t know what to do.”

  Kate stepped closer. “It has fangs?”

  “Yes. It’s not really physical, but in a way, it is.”

  “Throw it back,” Sue Ellen said.

  “Oh, I don’t think so,” I said.

  “Doesn’t that hurt?”

  “Quite a bit, actually,” I said. “But it could be a lot worse.” I looked closely at the soul. “I don’t know her name.”

  “That’s a girl soul?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “In life, she was a girl. She didn’t know her father. Her mother died. Her mother’s sister turned her back. I don’t know where the mother’s parents were. She went into the system. Foster homes. Kicked from one to the next. Treated poorly in school.” I looked at the soul. She was so wretched, and my heart ached for her. I began to whisper. “She made a deal.”

  “With a demon,” Poppy said. “She made a deal with a demon.”

  “Theophania is a revenge demon,” I said. “She offers justice, or her form of it. She told me some of her stories. I didn’t always agree with her, but I understood.” I looked into Poppy’s eyes.

  “What revenge did that soul want?” Kate asked.

  “She wanted the people who hurt her to understand what they had done to her. Theophania gave her that. And once it was done, she committed suicide.”

  “Suicide is a sin,” Sue Ellen said.

  I looked at her. “Would you send someone to Hell for all eternity because she hurt so badly that she killed herself.”

  She returned my gaze, then finally looked down. “No.”

  “Do you think she deserves this? The only harm she did was she wanted people to feel what she felt.”

  Naomi stepped closer, eyeing the soul. “What are you going to do with it?”

  “Help her ask for forgiveness,” I said. “She wasn’t evil. The world failed her. Society failed her. She didn’t have Evaline to rescue her. She didn’t grow up with a wonderful mom like Marley.”

  “Then what happens?” Jake asked.

  “If she asks, I’ll forgive her, and then I’ll send her to Grace.”