Learning to Stand

by Claudia Hall Christian

  “You’re saying I can quit if I want to or I can choose to be a leader.”

  “Yes, that’s what I’m saying,” Patrick said.

  “I don’t know what to do next,” she said.

  “Take your time. Maybe you should schedule a day at the spa.” He laughed at the revulsion on her face. “Call Matthew. He was your second in command. And, according to your sister, he is right now packing for rural Afghanistan. I’ll tell you this, Alexandra. He had no idea you were upset. When Colonel Gordon read off the incidents, Matthew asked to be relieved of his rank. He gave no explanation and made no excuse. He only said he lost track of himself.”

  Alex nodded.

  “Honey, you have to step into your own power,” he said. “You’ve hidden behind your twin, under Ben’s wing, or even as my daughter for too long. You’re better than all of us combined. Let yourself shine for a while.”

  Alex sighed.

  “Your mother asked me if you might consider coming for dinner,” he said. “We’ve invited Colin and Julie. Your mother is focused on Julie’s pregnancy, she won’t bother you much.”

  “Fixated on her first grandchild.”

  “Julie is about to pop.”

  “So get to work?”

  “How about breakfast?” Patrick asked. “There’s a wonderful greasy spoon not far from here. I haven’t been there in an age. Let’s give the Secret Service something to worry about.”

  “Thanks Dad,” Alex said. “But I need to deal with this.”

  “Good Girl.”

  FFFFF

  An hour and a half later

  Wednesday mid-morning

  March 26 – 11:45 AM

  Wahoo’s Fish Tacos, Denver, Colorado

  “I’ve requested to be relieved of my rank,” Matthew said.

  Alex picked up a chip looked at it then set it back in the basket of tortilla chips on the table. They were the only people sitting on the narrow end of the patio right off the parking lot. The late winter sun peeked out from behind the clouds, but it was still cool. Inside, the restaurant was filling with an early lunch crowd.

  “And?”

  “Come on, Alex. You never said a word to me. Not one word.”

  “You are an adult, an officer in the US Army, for God’s sake. I need to tell you you’re insubordinate? Disobeying a direct order as you did again this morning?”

  Matthew’s mouth fell open. His face flushed red.

  “When I heard the list of incidents?” Matthew shook his head. “I couldn’t believe it. And I knew the list was HALF of what has happened. I...”

  “You’re just a complete asshole? For most of a year?”

  “I have racked my mind as to why I behaved so badly,” Matthew said. “You’ve seen my file. There is not one report of insubordination, disrespect or anything else.”

  “Until you started working for me.”

  “Exactly.”

  “So it’s my fault.”

  “No, it’s my fault,” Matthew said.

  They fell silent as the waiter dropped off their lunch. Not sure of what to do next, Alex focused trying to eat her rice, beans and charbroiled fish. Matthew cut open his burrito then threw his utensils on the table.

  “Fuck,” he said.

  Crossing his arms, he looked away from her. When he turned back, his eyes were filled with tears.

  “When you were injured, I thought I would do anything I could do for you to survive, even one more day. When you told me you were building a team, I jumped at the chance to work with you. I took the chance and fucked it up. In the process, I’ve betrayed you, took you for granted and destroyed our friendship.”

  “I don’t understand why,” Alex said. “We’ve been friends for more than a decade. I rescued your ass. TWICE!”

  “I lost track of myself. I used you until there wasn’t anything left to use. I live in your condo. I sleep with your sister. I spent the raise you got for me with abandon. I’ve been focused on my life, my status and... I don’t know… where we were going to dinner.”

  “There’s no way this is ever going to work,” Alex said. “I need a team, Matthew, not a group of parasites ready to Hoover up whatever’s available to them. I can’t create a team by myself. Every single person has to pitch in.”

  Matthew nodded.

  “Why did you give Flagg his papers without consulting me?”

  “I don’t know,” Matthew said. “He’s such an asshole. So smug and superior. I guess I thought it would knock him down to earth.”

  “And you didn’t tell me because...?”

  “I have no excuse,” Matthew said. “I didn’t tell you because I’m an arrogant, insubordinate prick.”

  “That’s honest,” Alex said. Unable to look at the food, Alex pushed the plate away from her. “What do you want to do?”

  “I want to build a team. I want to succeed at the mission of building a multi-unit team to extract hostages from around the world. There are hundreds, if not thousands of hostages who need rescuing. In betraying you, I have betrayed them as well.”

  “I cannot do this myself, Matthew,” Alex said. “If you agree to help me, you have to get and keep everyone in line. They are not your playmates. They are your teammates.”

  “Yes,” he said. “Troy feels as bad as I do. Raz didn’t say a word. He just left for Washington. And Hutchins? I mean, I got to know him when he was your roommate at Walter Reed but I don’t think I really respected him until today. He simply listened to what Colonel Gordon said and signed the document.”

  “I heard he was trying for a medical.”

  “Emily,” Matthew said. “He nodded his head and left. Let me ask you this. What do you want?”

  “I’m not sure,” Alex said. “I’ve given up on a team. Right now, I’d like to take a bath.”

  “Still no hot water?”

  “We have hot water. It hasn’t made it to the bathtub yet.”

  Unsure of how to move forward, they each fell silent.

  “What will you do?” Matthew asked.

  “I’m not sure. I have a lot of options including being a housewife for my soon to be wealthy surgeon husband.”

  “Is there any possibility of a second chance?” Matthew asked.

  Alex looked over Matthew’s shoulder to the Denver skyline. The clouds were rolling in again. They would see snow again before nightfall. Looking around her, she noted the office professionals were venturing onto the patio.

  “Sure. But not a third.”

  “Yes sir,” Matthew said. “I will speak with the men. I will get their agreement to work toward a team or they will not be on the team. Period.”

  Alex nodded. They walked through the patio toward their vehicles.

  “And our friendship?”

  Alex shrugged.

  “Well, at least there’s a chance.”

  She gave him a slight smile. He stood and held his arms out. They hugged. He kissed her cheek.

  “Thanks.”

  She nodded.

  “I’m going home. You’ll let me know?”

  “Yes sir.”

  Walking along the wall of the restaurant, they were standing in an empty parking space next to Alex’s Jeep CJ when Matthew said, “Do you want to…”

  Alex heard a sound her mind refused to interpret. A starburst of blood and tissue popped into the air from Matthew chest. Matthew fell forward to the asphalt.

  F

  CHAPTER NINE

  Jumping to Matthew, she felt mammoth hands clamp onto her shoulders.

  The large man threw her against the mural on the restaurant wall. Managing to stay on her feet, Alex jammed her elbow into the man’s solar plexus. He fell back. Rotating her leg, she threw a roundhouse kick in her assailant’s direction. To avoid her kick, he stepped back and tripped over a parking curb. He fell backward landing on his behind.

  She rushed to Matthew’s side. Pressing her knit cap into the bullet hole, she turned him onto his back. He had a gaping wound in his chest. S
he threw her down jacket over him for warmth. She pulled off her sweater to put under Matthew’s head. Using all her weight, she pressed her wool scarf and turtleneck into the wound. His eyes popped open when her shadow crossed his face. Matthew grabbed her hand.

  “Boy Scout,” Matthew whispered. “Get the motherfucker.”

  Sensing movement, Alex raised her left arm to catch a blow. Her arm made a sickening pop.

  And Alex shifted from friend to fighter. Breathing out, all pain disappeared. Lifelong training kicked in. Jumping to her feet, she attempted another kick. Her left hip ground metal against metal.

  The Boy Scout laughed at her effort. His closed fist punch collided with her cheekbone. She fell two steps back before catching her footing on the edge of the building. Looking for his advantage, the Boy Scout circled her.

  A woman in the patio screamed. Three men ran toward to help Alex.

  “Stay back. He will kill you.” Alex screamed. “Call 911. Tell them Homeland Security agents need immediate assistance. Do it. NOW!”

  Rotating from the growing crowd, her eyes locked with the Boy Scout’s eyes. His entire being seethed with rage at her. Her breath caught in her throat.

  He stepped toward her. Pulling his right arm back, he swung the sap toward her face. Alex dunked under his arm. As she moved past him, he grabbed the arm holes of her body armor and threw her against the wall of the building. She landed against the building with a thud.

  Pressing Alex to the wall, he smashed his body against hers. Her back slammed against the wall. When her body bounced forward, he mashed his mouth onto her mouth. He forced his tongue past her teeth. He ripped open her jeans.

  Jerking up, she slammed her knee into his crotch. Her martial arts trained hands created a few inches of space between them. When he shifted back, she hit him with a strong front kick.

  He fell back.

  She moved from the wall to the open parking space.

  Raising her left forearm, she blocked his fist. She punched the heel of her right hand into his larynx. Clutching his throat, he stumbled backwards into the parking lot.

  She fastened her jeans. Shifting to her left leg, she threw another round house kick. With the grinding in her hip, the blow glanced off his chest.

  He charged her. Stepping aside, she redirected his motion. He flew over her hip landing a foot from the building.

  Driven by fury and lust, he jumped to his feet. He raised his right hand as if to hit her again. Then, avoiding her block, he slammed his left fist into her face.

  Shifting, she caught him in the chest with a powerful back kick. He smashed into the building behind him. Using the wall for leverage, he rushed her.

  She rotated sideways, caught his right hand in a lock. Using his momentum, his arm rotated and his shoulder popped from the joint. He dropped to his knees.

  Reaching behind his head, he flipped her over him. She landed on her back in front of him.

  Under the darkening sky, with the asphalt at her back, Alex gave up. Even if she survived this attack, there would always be another person looking to kill her.

  The Boy Scout lifted his knee. With all his might, he stomped Alex’s abdomen His huge foot ground shrapnel against the delicate flesh of her left hip. Laughing at her gasp, he raised his foot one more time. He stomped her abdomen.

  The tiny light of Simon went out.

  And something deep within Alex ignited. A power coursed through her veins. She was a fighter again.

  The Boy Scout fell on her to rape her in the middle of the parking lot. His pants unzipped and genitals exposed, she jerked her right leg up. Rotating her leg slightly, she ground the ragged teeth of his zipper into his genitals. He roared in pain. She threw him off her and jumped to standing.

  He moved to his hands and knees.

  She stood over him in a fighter’s stance.

  He exploded off the ground. Alex caught him under his chin with violent kick. He flew arching head first into the air. He landed on the back of his shoulders. She followed him in her fighter’s stance.

  He flipped to standing and rushed her. She jumped in a perfect butterfly kick. One foot smashed his face followed by her second foot. The second finished the job.

  The Boy Scout dropped unconscious to the ground.

  She heard cars screech into the parking lot and men screaming for her to stand still. Raising her hands over her head, she weaved slightly then dropped to her knees. On her knees, she crawled to Matthew. A bystander held her clothing over the wound on Matthew’s chest. Shivering from the cold, she lifted Matthew’s head to her lap.

  “Jesse saved my life, Alex,” Matthew whispered. “I see Jesse. I can hear him too. He was the commentator for the fight. Like Vegas. You did really good, Alex. Alex?”

  Matthew’s head dropped to the side. He was silent. She felt hands on her but was too dazed to comprehend what was going on.

  “Ma’am?” A paramedic’s face appeared in front of her. “Ma’am? You’re bleeding. Can you show us where you’re injured?”

  Alex looked up into the young man’s face. Raising her eyebrows, she said, “Bleeding?”

  Alex passed out.

  FFFFFF

  Wednesday mid-day

  March 26 – 1:06 P.M. MDT

  Buckley Air Force Base, Aurora Colorado

  “My name is Major Joseph Walter.”

  Joseph looked over the men. Each face displayed a mask of arrogance and mistrust. They were here but not anything like a team. Troy Olivas sat near the front while Trece and White Boy filled the back of the room. Raz leaned against the side wall. Vince Hutchins stretched out in a chair at the other side. And Larry Flagg’s miserable countenance sat in the middle of the room.

  “I have been invited here to determine whether or not you are capable of coming together as a team,” Joseph said. “I will tell you. This is your only opportunity. After we speak, I will ask you to sign a document to commit to becoming a team.”

  “I’ll sign now.” Raz moved forward with a pen in his hand.

  “You’ll sign it when I make it available to you,” Joseph said. “I’m looking into the bullshit contract mandating Lieutenant Colonel Hargreaves’s volunteer service to Homeland Security. Yes, that’s correct. Major Hargreaves is now Lieutenant Colonel Hargreaves. And one thing is certain. You and Lieutenant Colonel Hargreaves are not partners anymore.”

  Joseph watched Raz viscerally react to the idea that he and Alex weren’t partners anymore. Recovering, Raz went back to leaning against the wall.

  “I need to assess whether you can work on this team. When I make my assessment, I may make my offer. Nothing is certain. Is that clear?”

  The men shifted in their seats.

  “Listen, I’ve fielded numerous requests for...” Troy started.

  “I have each of your resumes. I know your backgrounds and your accomplishments. I have a good idea of the disrespect you have shown your commanding officer. I’m also confident you do not have a clue what you’ve really done or who you have done it to. Captain Blanco? Will you get the lights?”

  White Boy shut off the lights. The screen in front of them was dark. Walking over to the desk, Joseph tapped his computer.

  “I put this together for a Senate Hearing a couple years ago. This is Lieutenant Colonel Alexandra Hargreaves life’s work.”

  The screen began to flash smiling mug shots of soldiers, diplomats, politicians, missionaries, and journalists. Less than a second a time, the photos showed men and women rescued by the Fey Special Forces Team.

  “This presentation continues for a little more than an hour. Almost four thousand human lives. You might think you know what those words mean. But you cannot comprehend the sheer number of people until you see their faces. Now I could show you the holes, alleys, caves and warehouses we found each of these people in. But I’ll spare you the horror.”

  A hand went up in the middle.

  “Yes, Sergeant Flagg.”

  “These people were rescued by the Fey S
pecial Forces Team, not just Major Hargreaves,” he said.

  “Lieutenant Colonel Hargreaves.”

  “Lieutenant Colonel Hargreaves,” Larry repeated.

  “You’re wrong. Sure, the Fey Special Forces Team did the work. We dug the holes, climbed the mountains and protected her. She saved each of these lives.

  “And when she was done?”

  Joseph hit a key. Photos of the limestone vault flashed on the screen. The men jerked their bodies away from horror.

  “This spot? This spot right here?”

  Joseph pointed to the door of the vault.

  “After killing the shooter, she went from person to person. Sitting with her best-friend’s head on her lap, she prepared to die. There’s evidence she had a conversation with someone. We don’t know who. We only know that she tricked him into leaving her alone long enough to save the team journal. All of this, she did with a hole the size of a basketball where her left hip used to be.”

  “We found her,” Raz said. Drawn by instinct, he touched the screen. “I carried her from... I… I never went inside.”

  “Take a good look. I repeat. After killing the shooter, she checked each friend for life only to have her best-friend die with his head on her lap. Then, bleeding to death, she tricked a murderer and saved the team journal.

  “Now, ask yourself. With all your impressive accomplishments, could you have done that?”

  Joseph clicked through the images again.

  “Somehow, she managed to survive. We don’t know how. We don’t know why. But she did. Then after crawling her way out of Walter Reed and more surgeries than I can count, the fuckers came for her again.”

  The screen flashed pictures of the room where she was held captive for three days last fall.

  “Now you might think, ‘Three days. I could do three days.’ She was beaten with a rubber pipe, caught sepsis from a cut on her arm, and still managed to kill three of her captors. Each of you played a part in her rescue. Who planned it? Who made it possible for you to fulfill your job? And whose life was almost lost?