Strings of the Heart

by Katie Ashley

  “Fuck you, Rhys!” I spat, planting my hands on his hard pecs and shoving him away from me. I stalked past him and Eli off the dance floor. When I stomped up to our table, Gabe stared wide-eyed at me. “Give me my purse,” I demanded.

  He didn’t bothering arguing with me or calling me out for my attitude. He just thrust my purse at me. “Thank you.”

  It was only after I escaped into the VIP bathroom that my adrenaline began to fade. Gripping the sides of the marble sink, I let Rhys’s words pierce further and further into me until it felt like a jagged hole had been cut through my heart. He hadn’t fought for me because he wanted me—he’d fought because he believed I was acting like a whore. He continued seeing me as only a little sister—not someone he wanted to date or be with.

  The bathroom door flew open, and Rhys stormed in. Glancing at his reflection in the mirror, I shook my head. “I have nothing left to say to you, so leave me alone.”

  “No.”

  Whirling around, I narrowed my eyes at him. “Excuse me?”

  “I said no.”

  I threw up my hands. “Fine, I concede; you win. Does that make you happy?” When he started to open his mouth, I shook my head furiously from side to side. “Don’t you fucking dare say ‘no’ again!”

  “I didn’t come in here to gloat.”

  “Then what did you come for?” When he cocked his brows at me, I demanded, “What do you want from me, Rhys?”

  “Everything.” He strode across the room to me. “I want to take everything you’ll give me and more.” Grabbing my arm, he jerked me into the handicapped stall. My body slammed back against the metal wall. My whimper of pain died on my lips as Rhys pressed his body against mine. The hardness of his erection burned into my thigh. Gripping my hips, he tugged me closer against him. His fingers closed over one of my thighs before bringing it up over his. It gave him the perfect angle to rub his erection against my core. I moaned, clawing desperately at him to get more friction.

  “Why are you doing this now?” I demanded.

  Rhys shook his head. “I don’t fucking know. I just know that I couldn’t bear sitting in that booth one more minute and letting Eli have everything I wanted.”

  “You want everything with me or just everything with my body?” I asked.

  As he stared into my eyes, his hands slid over my waist to cup my buttocks. “I know I want my hands on this fine ass that you’ve been shaking all night at everyone but me.” One hand left my butt to come and cup my breast. “I want my hands and mouth on these gorgeous tits that you’ve rubbed all over Eli.”

  I widened my eyes when his hand left my ass to cup between my legs. “But most of all, I want to bury my dick so far in this pussy that no man here will doubt who it belongs to, especially Eli.”

  Although I wanted nothing more than to be with Rhys again, this all felt wrong—the anger and jealousy fueling our actions were not healthy. “But it doesn’t belong to you,” I countered weakly.

  “It doesn’t?” His fingers tore away my thong before they plunged deep inside me, causing me to gasp with pleasure. “Tell me, Allison, did he make you this wet?” Rhys demanded.

  Panting, I shook my head. “No, he didn’t.”

  Rhys rewarded me for my response by speeding up the pace of his fingers. Throwing my head back, I moaned. My hips took on a rhythm of their own. I was getting so deliciously close that my toes were curling in my heels when Rhys suddenly withdrew his fingers. “No, please. Please don’t stop,” I begged.

  “Who is the only man to have made you come so hard you’ve screamed?”

  “You. Only you, Rhys,” I replied, breathlessly.

  With a lazy smile, he thrust his fingers back inside me while his thumb clamped down on my clit. Gripping his shoulders, I desperately rode his hand to find my orgasm. It had been three long months since a man had made me come—since Rhys had made me come.

  “Rhys! Yes, oh, yes!” I cried out, my eyes fluttering closed in bliss. At that moment, I didn’t care if there was a bathroom full of women hearing me come. I just wanted the pleasure to never end. I’d barely come back to myself when Rhys’s blunt head nudged at my entrance. Somehow he’d managed to unbutton his pants and slip on a condom while I blissed out with my head on his shoulder.

  With a grunt, he thrust deep inside me. “Oh fuck, Allison,” he groaned, his breath warm against my neck. “No one feels as good as you.” His dirty compliment made my heart beat faster. He gripped my other thigh and brought my leg up to wrap around him. As I clung to his shoulders, I was completely impaled on him.

  But then a hard revelation crashed upon me, causing me to shudder. I wasn’t having sex again with Rhys because he had told me he loved me or that he had feelings for me. No, I was fucking him in a club bathroom because he was jealous over Eli. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too—he wouldn’t have me, and he would make sure no one else did either.

  Deep down, I knew I deserved to be treated a hell of a lot better by Rhys. I should have pushed him away right then and there for daring to use me like he was. But when it came to him, I was an utter and complete masochist. I seemed utterly incapable of ever denying him. He owned my heart, despite the fact he had refused it. He owned my traitorous body that always responded whenever he was near. In the end, my head and my heart continued to wage a war between each other that would render no winner.

  When Rhys dipped his head down to kiss me, I jerked back. For some reason, I felt I could give him my body, but I couldn’t kiss him. It was too intimate, and it meant too much.

  His brows lined in confusion. “Give me your mouth,” he demanded.

  “No.”

  A roll of his hips caused us both to moan. “Give me your mouth,” he growled. When I shook my head, he grasped my chin in his fingers as his movements inside me stilled. “Why not?” Because you don’t really want me. You just want to use me, and it hurts too much.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “What’s it to you? You don’t care about me. You just came in here to fuck me, so keep fucking me.”

  Rhys’s brows rose in confusion. “I can fuck you but not kiss you? What the hell does that mean?”

  “Kissing is personal, so I won’t do it with you—not until I know with absolute certainty that I’m not just an easy lay to you, Rhys. Not until you acknowledge you have feelings for me, not just lust.”

  At my declaration, he stared at me, unblinking and unmoving. As his expression began to lighten, I brought one of my hands up to cup his cheek. Closing his eyes, he leaned his cheek into my palm as if he were savoring the gentle touch. “Don’t you really want me, Rhys?”

  “I can’t,” he murmured, his voice laced with agony.

  “Please,” I whispered.

  “You deserve to be loved.” He grimaced as if he were in pain. “And we both know I don’t know how to love anyone.”

  Shaking my head furiously back and forth, I countered, “That’s not true. You love Ellie, and you love the guys. You have a lot to give me if you would just open up. You could love me as much as I love you.”

  “Dammit, Allison, we’ve been over this. It can’t work between us—it won’t work.”

  His refusal caused white-hot anger to pulse through my veins. Dropping my hand from his face, I stared at him in disbelief for a moment before bringing my hand back up again. But this time it wasn’t for comfort. It was to slap the hell out of him. Hard. “Fine then. Finish fucking me since that’s all you seem to be good at. Fucking me and fucking me over.”

  Rhys stared at me in utter disbelief. His mouth opened, but no words came out. And then he surprised the hell out of me by pulling out. He eased me down to where my feet were touching the floor. After sliding off the half used condom, Rhys tucked his slackened dick back into his pants. When he finally met my gaze, he shook his head forlornly. “Jesus, Allison, what have I done to you? What am I doing to you?” When I didn’t respond, he muttered, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  He then exited the stall. Whe
n I heard the bathroom door close, I staggered over to the toilet seat and collapsed down onto it. As my body shook with sobs, I tried desperately to get a hold of my emotions. Wrapping my arms around myself, I finally just let go and cried until there wasn’t anything left within me. When I finished, I wiped my eyes and left the stall. Standing in front of the mirror, I looked like the hell I felt like. Mascara and eyeliner streaked down my cheeks while my lipstick was smudged from Eli’s kiss.

  Once I had cleaned up as best I could, I made my way out of the bathroom. I skidded to a stop at the sight of Eli waiting on me. His eyebrows shot up in surprise at the sight of me. “Jesus, Allison. Are you all right?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m not. I’m so sorry, Eli, but I need to go back to the hotel.”

  “Of course. Whatever you need,” he said. He took a tentative step forward to wrap an arm around my shoulder. “Lean on me. I’ll get you out of here.”

  His kindness caused the waterworks to start up again. Turning my head, I buried my face into Eli’s chest and let him lead me out of the club. When I got to the limo, Eli helped me inside. Even though I shouldn’t have, I snuggled up to him when he opened his arms to me.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” he questioned softly, as we began to make our way along the quiet streets.

  “No, not really.”

  Eli sighed. “I knew trying to start something up with you was going to be difficult, but I sure as hell didn’t know I’d have competition.”

  I twisted out of his arms to stare at him in shock. “W-What do you mean?”

  “Come on, Allison. I may act like a fool sometimes, but I’m not really one. I know there’s something between you and Rhys. Hell, any idiot could see that.”

  Wincing, I said, “I’m sorry to have put you in the middle of all this. What’s happened between Rhys and me is such a mess. I don’t even know if it is still possible to even be friends with each other.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty abysmal.” I shook my head sadly at him. “I’m sure after all this you aren’t still interested in our date, huh?”

  Eli held up one of his hands. “Whoa, wait a minute. I never said that I didn’t want to be with you.”

  “But you deserve better than a girl who is hung up on some asshole who will never feel the same way about her,” I protested.

  “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

  “You’re just too good to be true, aren’t you?”

  He chuckled. “I wouldn’t get too carried away singing my praises. Part of me is hanging on because girls with broken hearts or girls with something to prove to asshole ex-boyfriends are easy lays.”

  My eyes widened in horror at his statement. “Eli Renard, how could you think that about me?”

  With a wink, he replied, “I’m just being honest with you, Allison. I don’t want you losing sleep worrying about breaking my heart when my motives aren’t exactly pure.” He cocked his head at me. “Just like I said on the dance floor, I want to have a good time with you, see where it leads us, but I’m sure as hell nowhere near ready to go ask Jake for your hand in marriage.”

  Even though I should have been appalled at him, I couldn’t help but laugh. “You are so bad.”

  “I know. I’m a bad boy with a somewhat heart of gold who just wants to have some fun with you.” Staring intently at me, he asked, “Think you can handle that?”

  “I think I can try.”

  Eli then leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Good. And the date is still on tomorrow night?”

  I gave him a tentative smile. “Yes, it is.”

  Rolling over in bed, I thumped my pillow for the millionth time. I guess it was more like punching the hell out of it instead of thumping it. After my hellish evening with Allison, I’d found it hard to sleep. I guess it was a combination of a guilty conscience and my mind racing with thoughts. As sleep continued to evade me, I kept tossing and turning while reliving each and every painful detail in my head.

  Jesus, how had things gone so wrong between us? I was such a fucking selfish bastard. I’d become the epitome of the douchebags I hated—the men from my parents’ world. Every time I tried to do the right thing by pushing Allison away, I just pulled her back to me, hurting her even more. I’d become barely recognizable to who I once was. The old me would have never used Allison like I did in the skeezy club bathroom. I’d been an enraged bastard because she was kissing Eli and telling me I had no control over her. So I’d gone in to prove to her that she did belong to me, even though I had no plans to emotionally claim her. God, I was such an unimaginable bastard. For the life of me, I couldn’t fathom why I kept treating Allison the way I did. The old law school part of me started making a case against my own self in my head.

  Just when I finally started to doze off around seven a.m., screaming babies jolted me awake. I waited a few minutes for Jake and Abby to get things under control. But when fifteen minutes went by and the twins were still crying, I lost my temper. With a growl, I got out of bed and threw on a T-shirt and a pair of jeans.

  I stumbled out of my suite and staggered next door. Raising my fist, I pounded on the door. The crying grew closer and closer until the door flew open. A red-faced and screaming Jax greeted me first. Instead of Abby or Jake, it was Allison standing in the doorway. Motherfucking hell. I couldn’t catch a break. Instantly, I regretted my decision to come over. Things were still way too awkward between us after what had happened last night.

  “Oh, um, hey,” I said.

  “Hi,” she called over Jax’s wailing. Behind her, I could hear Jules crying as well.

  “I came over to see what all the commotion was about.”

  Allison grimaced. “Jake and Abby just left for the doctor—food poisoning or something. They were sick and feverish all night. I think Jake might be pretty dehydrated.”

  “Are the spawns sick, too?” I asked, gesturing to Jax. That would certainly explain the fucking scream-fest.

  “No, they’re fine. Well, except for the fact they seem to be going through some early separation anxiety when it comes to their parents. The moment Jake and Abby left the suite, they freaked out. Nothing I do seems to help.”

  As I glanced from Jax to Allison, I noticed how frazzled she looked. Loose stands of dark hair had escaped from her ponytail, and her face was almost as red as Jax’s. “They’re not wet or hungry or sleepy—they just want to cry,” she said, her voice wavering as if she might cry at any minute as well.

  At that moment, I had two options: I could have pulled an utterly douche move by telling her good luck with the screaming hellions and then escaped to my suite. Or I could offer to try to help her calm the twins down.

  “Here, let me have him,” I said, reaching for Jax.

  Allison’s dark eyes widened. “Seriously?”

  I snorted contemptuously. “Like I’m going to leave you all alone with two screaming babies.”

  Somehow I imagined that in her head, she was thinking that was exactly what an asshole like me would do, especially after the way we had left things last night. “Thanks,” she said softly.

  As I took Jax into my arms, he eyeballed me for a moment. When Allison started across the room for Jules, Jax picked up his wailing. “Okay, mama’s boy, you certainly have a fine pair of lungs.”

  Allison jerked her head over her shoulder and scowled at me. “Don’t call him that.”

  “It’s the truth, isn’t it?”

  “Maybe. But he can’t help it.”

  Jax’s lip quivered as I stared at him. A smile tugged at my lips. “Come to think of it, you’re just like your daddy. He was a pansy-ass mama’s boy back in the day, too.”

  “Rhys!” Allison admonished, as Jax stopped snubbing to momentarily grin at me.

  I laughed at both of their reactions. Staring into Jax’s face was like looking at a mirror image of Abby except he had Jake’s dark hair. “I guess I should give you some slack. I would’ve been a mama’s boy too
if I’d been blessed with a mama as sweet as yours.”

  Allison laughed while bouncing a fussy Jules on her hip. “Abby is a sweetheart and the best mom.”

  A thought popped into my mind, and before I could stop myself, I blurted it out. “You want that someday?”

  With her dark brows lining in confusion, Allison asked, “Do I want to have kids someday?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Yes, of course I do.” Allison stared into Jules’s face, a slight smile on her lips. “I can’t imagine going through life without kids, but at the same time, I don’t want them anytime soon.”

  Her response surprised me. For some reason, I thought she would be just like Abby with wanting to have a family right away. “Really?”

  She nodded. “There’s a lot I want to do and see before I settle down to get married, and even after, I’d like my husband and I to have some time just to ourselves.”

  “I see.”

  As Jules started to ratchet up her fussing into full-fledged crying, Allison asked, “What about you? Do you want kids?”

  I exhaled a long sigh. “Yeah, sure, I wouldn’t mind having a kid someday. Like you, I sure as hell don’t want it to be anytime soon.”

  It seemed that Jax took my comment about not wanting kids soon a little too personally because he started wailing again. My ears rang as he and Jules seemed determined to outdo each other with their screams. “Guys, please, don’t cry. Mommy and Daddy will be back very soon,” Allison said, over the noise.

  Both of us started walking around the room, bouncing a twin in our arms. But nothing that we did seemed to work. We swapped off babies for a few minutes to see if daddy’s girl, Jules, might benefit from being with me. It didn’t work. Finally, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. I walked over to Allison. “Here. I have an idea. Take her for a sec.”

  Allison reluctantly took Jules into her free arm. “What are you going to do?”

  “I need to run next door.”

  Her eyes widened. “You aren’t bailing on me, are you?”

  I scowled at her for even thinking something so shitty of me. “Of course not. Just trust me. I think I know what will get them to quiet down.”