Close to Home

by Carolyne Aarsen

  His word hung between them, a reminder of the differences between them.

  “Good thing you still have faith.”

  A faint smile curved his lips. “Trusting in God has gotten me through some rough times in the past. And praying helps me build my relationship with the Lord.”

  “Has God answered all your prayers? Is that why you’re doing so well?” As soon as she asked the question she regretted giving it voice. She was striking out, blindly trying to keep him from probing into her own life.

  “I know how I got to where I am,” Jace said, but he seemed a bit uncomfortable at her question. “I believe I’ve been blessed, but I also know that I worked hard. Using what God has given me to get to where I am. And I’m going to keep working until I get to where I want to be.”

  “And where’s that?”

  Jace gently twirled the grass between his fingers. “Partner in Carson’s law firm.”

  Dodie wondered why he wouldn’t meet her gaze. “You don’t sound completely convinced.”

  Jace sighed and raised one eyebrow, which, in turn, pulled up the scar that ran along the side of his face.

  Dodie remembered tracing that scar with her finger. After the accident he’d been self-conscious about it, but Dodie had told him that combined with his dark hair and blue eyes, the scar gave him an air of brooding mystique. Now she had to twine her fingers around each other to keep from reaching across the slight distance between them.

  “Sometimes I feel like I’m doing exactly what I want to do. But I would be lying if I didn’t say there are times I have my doubts.” He lifted his shoulder in a vague shrug. “I like the challenge and I like the paycheck.”

  Dodie felt a tinge of regret. “I guess at the end of the day, that has value.”

  “Lots if I become partner.” Jace flashed her a wry smile. “But you sound disappointed.”

  “Money isn’t everything, Jace Scholte.”

  “That’s easy to say when you’ve grown up with it.”

  “Maybe, but it does give me another perspective on it. I love my parents, but I don’t think they were any happier than yours were.” She had visited Jace’s parents numerous times while they dated and had always enjoyed going to their home. It always seemed more welcoming and cozy than the house she grew up in.

  “Really?” Jace sent a dubious look her way. “You never got to hear the fights I did. And most of them were over money.”

  “News flash, Jace. My parents fought over money, too,” Dodie snapped.

  “Not the same way mine did. Your parents could buy whatever they wanted.”

  “Correction. They could buy whatever you wanted. Trust me, my parents had a whole different set of wants, just as unattainable and just as much fuel for fights.”

  He shot her a surprised look, but this time she held his gaze.

  “You sound like Dodie again. Arguing and haranguing me into your point of view.” Jace leaned back, grinning at her. “The world lost a talented lawyer when you quit law school.” He was quiet a moment. “Would you ever go back? To law school?”

  Dodie hugged her knees, letting the thought settle. Her mother had asked her a couple of times, and Dodie had always managed to joke her way out of answering. Janie had wondered, as well, but thankfully had left things be.

  Now Jace was asking her.

  Then she shook her head. “I don’t think so. I don’t have any desire to put myself through that stress and pressure. I did it because my mom seemed to think this was something I should pursue, and since they were footing the bill I figured I should listen.” She stopped there, unwilling to tell him that he was the other reason she pursued law. It was something they could do together. “I know that it seems like a waste of my education, not to use it—”

  “But you’re building on that now,” Jace said. “With the courses you’re taking.”

  “That’s true,” she conceded.

  “What made you want to pursue counseling?”

  Dodie edged around the words to formulate her reasons. “I think it’s something that has purpose and meaning. I like that I can help people.”

  She let her eyes drift over to Jace. His expression was thoughtful as he watched her.

  “You wanted to be a lawyer for the same reason,” he said. “I’m glad to see that part of you is still alive and well.”

  Dodie wanted to shrug off his comment, but their shared history made her feel she should expand on his comment. “There are a lot of parts of me still alive and well.”

  Jace’s smile seemed to agree. “And your relationship with God?”

  “God is alive and well. As for how we get along…” Dodie let the sentence trail off, her own doubts assailing her. “I’ve given up on trying to satisfy Him. I decided to simply go my own way.”

  Then Jace touched her shoulder, creating a gentle intimacy. “I’m not going to lie. I really want to know why you pulled away from God, from me, but I don’t want to preach. So tell me about the course you’re taking.”

  To her surprise she felt a momentary pang of regret at the change in subject and at the withdrawal of his hand. Talking with Jace had created a faint stirring in her soul. As if a distant voice called her name, drawing her back to a place she once felt safe, secure and loved.

  “I’m enjoying it and, surprise, doing quite well.”

  Jace angled her a curious smile. “I’m not surprised.”

  “Well, my mother is.”

  Jace held her gaze, his smile slipping away. “Is that still important to you?”

  Dodie blinked, then leaned back, as well, the palms of her hands resting on the old, dry grass. “It shouldn’t be,” she admitted. “Goodness knows I’ve tried hard enough to show her I’m my own person.”

  “Maybe a bit too hard?”

  “Maybe,” she admitted. “Mom’s never been that easy to please, so I guess it wouldn’t matter how hard I tried or didn’t.”

  “I think her opinion has always been too important to you.”

  Dodie shrugged, not looking at him.

  “How much longer is the course?” he continued.

  “I can do another few classes by correspondence, then I need to do a practicum and take one semester in school in Edmonton.”

  “Edmonton?” He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Would you consider moving to the city again?”

  Dodie shook her head. “I like it here—Riverbend’s my home. I feel safe here.”

  “Safe?”

  Dodie pressed her lips together, regretting the slip. Trust Jace to pick up on it.

  She felt his hand on her neck before she even realized he had moved closer to her. His fingers teased at her hair, toying with it.

  “Do you feel safe with me?” he asked.

  Dodie tested the question a moment, then granted him a smile. “Yes, I do.”

  Jace’s only reply was to move his hand, to trace the line of her eyebrows and then her lips. “I’m not going to push you, to ask you what happened in the past. But I want you to know that I missed you so much.”

  Her heart began a shallow rhythm and she took a fluttering breath.

  “Did you miss me?” he asked, his voice no louder than the breeze whispering past them.

  She could only nod.

  A gentle smile drifted over his lips. “I’m glad to know that. I always wondered…”

  “Jace…I’m sorry…” She wanted to say so much more, but her throat closed off.

  “I’m glad you are. I’m sorry, too.” His eyes skimmed her face and came to rest on hers. “There’s a lot of water under the bridge, so to speak. But maybe we don’t need to go back. Maybe we can start right here.”

  Dodie caught his hand in hers, hope fluttering in her chest. “What do you mean?”

  “Can we keep things simple? Can we just be Dodie and Jace? Here and now?”

  Dodie felt a heady rush of joy and gratitude press against her chest.

  “No questions asked,” he continued. “No looking back. Just now.”
<
br />   She turned her head and pressed her lips against his hand. Just like she used to.

  “I think I can do that,” she whispered.

  “We don’t have to look back or try to fix what happened. We could just be together. I know we’re meant to be together. I feel it.”

  “I feel the same way.” And she did. She had missed him so terribly those first few months. Even though she was the one who had stayed away, she didn’t do it out of choice, she reminded herself.

  His smile created a welcoming warmth in her soul.

  He drew her close and once again their lips met. Once again they were connected on so many levels.

  Dodie clung to him, feeling a happiness she hadn’t felt in years.

  Just here. Just now.

  She repeated the words to secure them in her mind.

  She wouldn’t have to lay open the shame that dogged her the past few years. She could leave it in the past and truly move on. She could be with Jace. And if the painful memories resurfaced, she would do what she had always done. Push it back where it belonged. She wouldn’t need to deal with it at all.

  And maybe, just maybe, he would be willing to stay here in Riverbend.

  Chapter Nine

  “Heard you and Jace went to the lookout point.” Janie said, wringing out a cloth in the sink and then wiping down the coffee machines.

  Dodie shoved the mop in the pail and shot her sister an annoyed look. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Janie to mind her own business, but she knew that wouldn’t stop her sister. If anything it would pique her curiosity.

  “So where are things going with you two anyhow?” Janie continued.

  “Where they should be.” Dodie wrung out the mop. “One day at a time.”

  “With a detour to the lookout point.”

  “We’re old friends. He wanted to talk. That’s all.” She wasn’t going to mention the kiss. Her sister didn’t need to know everything.

  “And you sat in church together.”

  Dodie heard the faint condemnation in her sister’s voice and felt a sliver of apprehension.

  “It just worked out that way.” Dodie wiped up the water she had slopped over the floor, then dropped the mop back in the pail. “Anything else you want me to do?”

  Janie looked at Dodie. “You’re not telling me everything, sister.”

  “What’s to tell? You seem to know every little bit of my life as it is.”

  “So what changed between you and Jace? Once upon a time you couldn’t even tolerate hearing his name, now you’re spending time with him.”

  “Just because of the fundraiser. That’s all.” Dodie wheeled the pail back to the storage room. But when she returned, Janie was leaning against the counter.

  “You know I love you, Dodie.”

  “I’m not talking about Jace.” Dodie grabbed her jacket off the chair and stuffed her arms in the sleeves. She wasn’t ready to explore the tentative place she and Jace had come to. It wasn’t perfect but, considering their past, for now it was a good thing.

  “I know you two used to date. I know that at one time you were pretty serious,” Janie continued, determined to give Dodie advice whether she wanted it or not.

  “And I know that you’ve never been crazy about him,” Dodie retorted. “And I’m sure you have your reasons, but Jace is a good person.”

  “Jace has his own agenda, Dodie. Always has. And I wouldn’t be a good sister if I didn’t warn you to be cautious. You know he’s going back to that high-powered city job of his. He’s not going to be staying in Riverbend.”

  Dodie looked at her sister’s expression of concern and self-doubt skittered across her mind.

  “Maybe, maybe not,” she said with an edge in her voice.

  “You think you can convince him to stay here? Jace has never had any love for Riverbend. You know that.”

  She did, but maybe, since he started working here and since he started working on the fundraiser, his opinion had changed. Riverbend was a good place and she did not want to consider him going back to the city.

  Going back to Carson MacGregor’s law firm.

  Then her cell phone rang, jolting her into reality.

  It was Jace.

  “Hey. What can I do for you?” she said, turning away from Janie and the disapproval she saw in her eyes.

  “Hey, did you get a call from Sheila?”

  “What about?”

  “She just called. Said we were supposed to get together tonight to put together the catalog.”

  Dodie mentally scrambled over her agenda. “This is news to me.”

  “Can you come? She said she couldn’t come tomorrow night, and there’s no way I’m going if you’re not there.”

  “Are you afraid?” Dodie smiled, relieved that in spite of the emotions roiling around her insides, she could still tease him.

  “Well, yeah. I’d rather not be alone with her.”

  “I’m at Janie’s right now. I’ll be right there.” She flipped her phone closed. “Sorry, Janie. I have to run. Fundraising stuff.”

  “So that means you’ll see Jace again,” Janie said with a frown.

  “And Sheila,” Dodie reminded her.

  She didn’t need to have any of her own self-doubts voiced. One small part of her hoped, in the tiniest way, that he would change his mind. That he would stay.

  But that was for another time.

  For now it was simple, she reminded herself. Just her and Jace and the now.

  She flung her purse over her shoulder, walked out the door and hurried down the street.

  Sheila was leaning against her car when Dodie approached Jace’s office. She wore snug, faded blue jeans tucked into leather boots, and a revealing T-shirt.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked with a frown, pushing herself away from her vehicle.

  “Jace just called me,” Dodie said. “Reminded me of the meeting.”

  “You didn’t need to come,” Sheila said, a slightly snippy tone in her voice.

  “I don’t want you to have to do all the work. That wouldn’t be fair.” Dodie gave her a smile that wasn’t returned.

  A few minutes later, Jace parked his car beside Sheila’s. As he walked toward them, his gaze caught and held Dodie’s.

  She couldn’t help her reaction to the look in his eyes and his slow smile. “Hey there,” he murmured.

  “Hey, yourself.”

  “Shall we get at it,” Sheila snapped, as she pulled her laptop out of her car. “I have other things to do.”

  “Of course you do.” Jace gave Dodie a wink, pulled the keys out of his pocket and let them in the front door.

  Sheila went in first and stalked down the hallway, clutching her laptop, her hair swinging with every step.

  Jace caught Dodie by the arm and gave her a light tug.

  “Thanks for coming on such short notice,” he whispered. “You saved my life. I hope you didn’t have any other plans.”

  Dodie gave him a quick smile. “No plans and no problem” was all she said, feeling suddenly shy around him. In spite of their shared history, she felt as if they were starting from a different place.

  She hoped it was a better place.

  They entered the room just as Sheila was setting up her laptop. “Let’s get started,” she said, frowning at her computer screen. “We should first do up the cards that will go with each item as we catalog them. Dodie, why don’t you start with the stuff in the other room?”

  Sheila handed Dodie a stack of papers on a clipboard, a pen and a large envelope, and gave her detailed instructions on how to label and track each item.

  “I’ll help her,” Jace said, heading out the door ahead of Dodie.

  He rolled his eyes as he closed the door on Sheila’s murmured protest.

  “I think she likes you.” Dodie allowed herself a teasing smile as she opened the door to the other room and turned on the light.

  Jace closed the door behind her, then turned her around, placed his hands on her
shoulder and gently kissed her. “Now my day is much better.”

  Dodie let her eyes follow the contours of his face and traced the scar that ran down his cheek.

  “My day is better, too,” she said quietly, smiling into his eyes.

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  Jace stroked her hair back from her face. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too,” she whispered.

  Jace looked like he was about to kiss her again and she pressed her hand to his chest. She wasn’t going to be rushed.

  “We better get going if we don’t want Sheila to come here and find out what’s going on.”

  “I think she should find out what’s going on,” Jace said with a hint of anger in his voice. “But you’re right.” He traced the line of her eyebrow, and smiled again, his anger gone. “Besides, I promised I would take things slow.”

  Dodie opened the envelope that Sheila had given her and glanced around the room. “So, which item should be number 0001?”

  Jace held up a coffee mug. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.”

  Dodie laughed and in minutes they fell into an easy rhythm, joking about some of the items, admiring others.

  As they worked in close proximity, Dodie grew more aware of Jace. But at the same time, she grew more confident.

  This was going to work, she thought, stealing a quick glance at him. They could truly start over. Square one. Fresh beginnings.

  She could put the past behind her.

  “I just remembered. Helen phoned,” Jace said. “She wanted some information on the fundraiser. She said she tried to contact you.”

  “Oh!” Dodie realized with a start. “I left my cell phone in my car.” She looked over at him. “What did she have to say?”

  “We were supposed to meet with Helen and I thought we could reschedule for Friday at her place,” Jace continued. “After the fundraising meeting.”

  Dodie’s mind went utterly blank. Oh, brother. She was scatterbrained today. She hadn’t checked her calendar this morning. “Sure. Sounds good.”

  Jace shot her a frown. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about the fundraising meeting as well?”