Always Closer

by Amelia Harlow

  ‘Definitely.’ He flicked his head back in the direction of home. ‘Go on.’

  ‘Okay, but make sure they call me if anything happens, or if you change your mind, or if-’

  ‘Love, come on, I’ll be fine. See you in a couple of hours.’ He began to walk himself into the hospital.

  ‘Okay, see ya.’ I said, then got back in the car and headed for home.

  Before I left the car park, I felt my phone vibrate in my bag, so I pulled over to check it. Bec had sent me a text message asking if I wanted to come over for lunch. I replied, telling her I’d be on my way over. I wanted someone to talk to about Hudson, and I was looking forward to catching up with her and seeing how her baby bump was going. I turned the radio on in the car and wound down the windows, it made me feel normal, as if I were just casually driving on a lazy Sunday afternoon and didn’t have a world of things to worry about. When I arrived at Bec’s house she was in the front yard watering the garden. Her golden retriever, Buster, was snapping at the stream of water from the hose and jumping around like he’d never had so much fun.

  I waved to Bec as I got out of the car, by which time Buster had forgotten about the water and was bounding over to me.

  ‘Hey boy!’ I said, as I leant down and ruffled the hair on his head, throwing in a few chin scratches and pats on the side of his body as he collapsed into me.

  ‘Buster!’ Bec called him back and he ran towards her, tail wagging around in circles with his butt wiggling.

  I followed behind. Bec and I greeted each other with a hug, she had already put the hose down and was ushering me inside.

  ‘Have you been out at the beach this morning?’ she asked, referencing my messy hair.

  ‘Yeah, Hudson took me out for a surfing lesson.’

  ‘Wait! What? So he did want to see you again after everything!’ she asked with excitement, ‘I told you so!’ She gloated as she gently slapped her hand onto my arm.

  We walked through the house to the kitchen where I sat at the bench and Bec boiled the kettle.

  ‘Yeah, I guess he’s not too scared of crazy women,’ I laughed.

  ‘I’ve heard his last girlfriend was really crazy, so you could even afford to kick it up a notch without any consequences I would think.’

  ‘Really? What was she like?’

  ‘I think she was just really controlling, had a few issues, didn’t let him talk to any other women. Basically just had him locked away from the world almost.’

  ‘I guess we have more in common than I thought.’

  We both laughed at the irony.

  ‘If you ever get to talking about your pasts, I’m sure you’d have hours worth of conversation. You haven’t told him about Alex yet have you?’

  ‘Oh god no, could you imagine?’ I continued as if speaking to Hudson casually about it. ‘Hey, Hudson, I ran away from my crazy abusive partner, he’s on the hunt for me and will probably destroy you if he found out I was even speaking to another man, what are you up to tonight?’

  ‘Yeah, that’s not very sexy is it,’ said Bec.

  ‘Not so much.’

  ‘So how was your date this morning then?’

  ‘I don’t know if you’d really call it a date…’

  ‘It was a date. He clearly likes you.’

  ‘But again, I think I’ve ruined it for real this time.’

  ‘Really? What was it this time?’ she asked.

  Bec hadn’t seen the scars on my back, but had known that Alex was very violent.

  ‘So, Alex left me with a few physical scars, and he asked about them.’

  Bec looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

  ‘Well, I kind of snapped. I didn’t want to talk about it with him, I don’t want to open up that conversation with him.’

  ‘Oh hun, I don’t think you snapping at him will deter him much, and anyway why are you even wasting time talking? Why haven’t you just got up on it yet?’

  ‘He seems too nice to just use like that.’

  ‘Mae, come on. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you used him. I mean, look at you! Any guy would be happy for you to use them!’

  Bec continued, ‘Seriously, when was the last time you had a bit of fun with a guy?’

  ‘I haven’t been with anyone since Alex. Not that that was a lot of fun!’ I said.

  ‘That was over six months ago!’ She seemed surprised.

  ‘Well, I’ve had a lot of other things that have taken priority. I haven’t really had time to think about it.’

  ‘Until now,’ said Bec.

  ‘Maybe so, but Alex called my dad today, and I’m worried that he might show up soon, and my god, if he found out I was seeing someone, he’d probably kill them, and me too for that matter.’

  ‘That’s strange’ said Bec, ‘that he’d call your dad.’

  ‘I know, I can’t understand why though.’

  ‘But look, you can’t live your life in fear worried about the day he turns up, because it might never happen and even if it does you’ll just have to deal with it then.’

  ‘So I shouldn’t be concerned about Hudson’s safety?’ I asked

  ‘Do you really think Alex would kill him?’

  ‘I think he’d beat him so badly in a rage that he could kill him, yes.’

  ‘Have you seen the size of Hudson? I’d put my money on him if it came down to that. Seriously, just go and have some fun Mae. Alex won’t find out you’re here, it will be fine.’

  ‘Maybe, but I do think I was a bit rude to him this morning. I’m such an idiot.’

  ‘No you’re not hun, you’re just scared. Why don’t you just call him and apologise?’

  ‘Maybe I will, we’ll see.’

  ‘Your loss if you don’t! I’d be all over that if I were you.’

  ‘Hey!’ Bec’s husband Andy yelled out from the next room.

  Bec lowered her voice and winked at me, ‘Seriously though.’

  We smiled at each other and I laughed. Bec made an amazing salad for lunch, which we ate at the table in the garden with Buster waiting patiently at our feet and occasionally letting out a high pitched whimper. We talked a lot about the baby and all of the strange things her body was doing, then I realised the time.

  ‘Sorry I’ve got to get back to the hospital and pick dad up from his chemo session.’

  ‘Okay hun, do you want to take some of this home for him?’ She gestured towards the salad.

  ‘That would be great actually, thanks.’

  Bec packed up some salad into a big container and walked me outside.

  ‘Wish him well for me won’t you?’

  ‘Of course.’

  We hugged goodbye and I got back in the car and drove to the hospital.

  Dad was waiting out the front for me on a bench, and he wasn’t looking too well. I helped him into the car and as soon as we got home he wanted to go lay down on his bed, so I got him a bottle of water and a few dry crackers and set them on his bedside table.

  ‘I think I might need a bucket this time,’ he said, defeated.

  I squeezed his hand then went to get a bucket which I placed beside the bed. It was hard to see my dad like this, but his prognosis was quite good as they caught the cancer very early. It’s very ironic that the act of him trying to take his life ended in a hospital visit and a bunch of scans which consequently lead to saving his life.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  HUDSON COOPER

  I was excited about having Mae to myself for a day, so we could get to know each other a bit better. I could tell there were so many levels to her, but she was pretty cautious with how much she let me know about her, it’s as if she was always filtering what she says. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the mystery about her, it’s pretty alluring, but more than anything I really just wanted to know more about her and see her walls come down a little.

  When I picked her up for our morning surf I couldn’t help but notice her long toned legs, it was the first time I had seen them that bare, and they looked
so damn sexy. It was a treat to see her like that, looking so casual and relaxed. All that exposed skin, it got me wondering about all the other parts of her I hadn’t seen yet. My thoughts were getting away from me and that’s when I realised no one had made me feel like that in a long time. I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt that kind of uncontrollable lust for someone.

  By the time we got to the beach I was so keen for us to get in the water, I was pretty excited to see the rest of her body. I took my shirt off and started rubbing sunscreen onto my back, which is pretty difficult to do to yourself, so luckily she stepped in to help. Her hands were so soft and smooth, and they felt really good when she rubbed them across my back and shoulders, I wanted her to keep touching me but once the job was done she moved away from me. It seemed like she hesitated about taking her t-shirt off, turning away from me when she did it, and then I saw why. Across her right shoulder blade were two huge scars that were quite rough and messy looking. They weren’t the only ones though, there were more in the middle of her back, a few long ones and then quite a few small ones scattered near them. I thought it would be rude to ask how she got them so I pretended they weren’t there, it wasn’t hard to do anyway, not with the view I had of the rest of her body. She looked so beautiful, scars and all.

  When I stood behind her I had a view straight down to her chest. My eyes were drawn to her breasts, they looked so full and perfect. It was such a tease to see her nipples slightly pushing against her bikini top, growing hard in the cool wind. I tried to keep my thoughts clean, but it was like standing in front of a goddess, all of my senses were overwhelmed. I took my time rubbing the sunscreen into her back, and just enjoyed the feeling of touching her.

  I was so glad that she came down to the beach with me, and was willing to let me teach her a few things about surfing. She definitely had a cool sense of adventure about her, and didn’t shy away from anything I showed her. I liked that she was up for the challenge. She was so different to a lot of the girls in town, I’d dated a few girls on and off, nothing serious though, because I never really connected with them. I liked that Mae was really smart, and I liked how witty she was, she definitely kept me on my toes.

  We paddled out and waited for some waves. Sitting on her board she looked amazing. The water was running over the curves of her body and trickling down into her bikini bottoms... where I desperately wanted to go. She made me feel like a schoolboy again whenever she looked at me with her bright green eyes.

  When I got home I kept replaying the kiss we had in the water. Her full soft lips sucking on mine and her tongue sliding against my tongue felt insanely good. When she wrapped her legs around me, I could feel myself getting thicker and I just wanted to do all sorts of things to her in that moment. I loved feeling her grind against my abs, it was subtle at first but then I could really feel her against me, and at that point I was pretty sure she wanted me the same way I wanted her. I held her arse firm in my hands and pulled her in tighter. I thought about all of this when I took a shower later that night and I got so hard thinking about it. I had to let out some of the tension that had been building, so I took my cock in my hand and played it all over in my head. I thought of Mae, her full breasts and lips, her legs wrapped around me as she was grinding against me. I was so close to coming but I didn’t want the fantasy to end, I tried to let my mind wander and enjoy more thoughts of her but I came quickly.

  I moved under the stream of water and washed off, keeping my mind on Mae. I wanted to please her in so many ways and I really wanted her to open up to me, but I felt like maybe I had ruined that chance. When I asked her about the scars on her back, I should have just left it, but I was so curious and I accidentally pushed her into a place she wasn’t comfortable in. I felt like such as arsehole. Maybe something had happened to her, something bad, and that’s why she went into a bit of a daze and panic at the cafe when she saw what was happening to that girl. Maybe it brought back old memories. I hoped it was nothing really serious, but it sure seemed like it was.

  After towelling off, I collapsed into bed, thinking of Mae and hoping to see her beautiful face again soon, but not knowing if I had ruined everything.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  There were so many thoughts rattling around inside my head at night, that I awoke in the morning feeling as if I had barely slept. My sheets were all tangled up around my body from the amount of tossing and turning I was doing while trying to get to sleep that I struggled to free myself from them. The sound of my dad whistling from the kitchen echoed down the corridor and into my room. I continued to tug at the tangled sheets until I got out. I pulled on my jeans and a t-shirt and followed the sound of the whistling.

  ‘Morning love!’ Dad called, ‘Coffee?’

  I was still rubbing my eyes, half asleep and slumped into the green velvet armchair across from the kitchen, tucking my feet up at my side.

  ‘Oh yes please.’

  He walked over with delicate feet as to not allow the coffee to spill over the lip of the mug with each step. He placed the white mug on the old coffee table in front of me.

  I looked up at him with a smile.

  ‘Thank you!’

  His hand ruffled my already messy hair then he kissed the top of my head before walking back to the kitchen.

  ‘So, today’s your last appointment.’

  ‘Yep!’ he said, with a triumphant nod as he continued to cook breakfast.

  Normally he didn’t have enough energy for simple tasks such as this, but knowing it was the last time he’d have to visit the hospital for a while seemed to lift his spirits.

  ‘I’ll be home in time to drive you. I’ve asked for an early finish today.’

  ‘Thanks love, thanks for all your help.’

  ‘Not a problem, I just wish I could do more for you.’

  ‘You already do so much. Just having you here is such a nice thing. It’s been lonely since your mum…since she-’

  The word “died” is something he couldn’t use when speaking about mum.

  He continued as he choked up a little. ‘It’s just really nice having you around.’

  ‘It’s nice being here, like I’m at home again. I really haven’t felt like I’ve had a home in a long time,’ I said.

  ‘This can be your home as long as you need it, and it’ll always be here waiting for you no matter where life takes you.’

  ‘Thanks Dad.’

  He served up breakfast for us on the back porch. We watched the sun coming up over the hills, the dew on the grass glistening in the bright beams of light. We ate in silence as we took in the beautiful morning. I cleared the table and washed up while dad relaxed on the back porch, the sun now above the hills. I went back outside and poured him some fresh orange juice before heading into my room to get ready for work. I picked up my phone from the bedside table, hoping to see a message from Hudson, but there was nothing of course. I didn’t expect to hear from him after the way I snapped at him yesterday. Bec was right though, I needed to apologise to him at the very least, so I began typing.

  *I’m really sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I didn’t mean to snap at you.*

  I hit send and waited a few minutes for a reply, hoping to hear back from him right away, but that didn’t happen so I got dressed for work and headed into town.

  All through my shift I kept heading out the back to check my phone, hoping to see Hudson’s name on my screen but there was nothing and my heart sank a little every time I looked at it. I was heading back out to the floor when Bill called me over from the bar.

  ‘Mae, a word.’

  I walked over, expecting to be disciplined for leaving the floor too frequently.

  ‘I need you for a catering job this weekend, you’ll be there Saturday almost all day and night, can you do it? I had a few staff pull out,’ he said, barely looking up from the drinks he was pouring to look at me.

  Knowing that it was unlikely Hudson would want to spend any time with me this weekend I agreed. ‘Sure.�
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  ‘Good, I’ll send you an email with all the details tonight.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, and returned to check up on my tables.

  I got home in time to get Dad to the hospital. We walked through the familiar halls together, and checked in to get his blood work done. I watched the vial fill with blood as my dad stared at the painting of the ocean on the wall.

  ‘All done,’ said the nurse, as she removed needle and prepared his blood for testing.

  We moved into the chemo room once he was cleared for treatment. After the doctor and nurse had set up the IV line, I pulled out our books and we began to kill the time together.

  ‘Are you waiting on something important?’ Dad asked, after seeing me continually check my phone.

  ‘You can go if you want, I’m okay,’ he assured me.

  ‘No, no, it’s nothing important, just waiting to hear back from someone.’

  ‘Okay,’ he said, and directed his eyes back to his book.

  I returned to my book and tried to forget about Hudson for the time being.

  I felt a touch on my arm followed by a soft voice. ‘Are we all right?’

  A nurse was waking me as I had fallen asleep in the chair with my head bent forward right down into my lap.

  ‘Oh, sorry, yeah, just dozed off.’

  ‘That’s okay dear. Is this your dad?’ She asked, gesturing towards him.

  ‘Yes, it is.’

  ‘Great, well he’s almost done so I’ll wake him now too, and you’ll be out of here shortly,’ she said.

  ‘Thank you.’

  After running the saline through the IV, the nurse removed the line and we waited until we were cleared to leave.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ I asked my dad.

  ‘Happy,’ he said, smiling.

  I smiled back and squeezed his hand.

  We drove home as the sun set to the west, turning the sky into a beautiful swirl of colours purple, pink and orange. I set my dad up on the couch with a pillow and blanket as he wanted to watch the football. I sat with him until halftime when he had fallen asleep, then I moved to my room. Again I checked my phone, but there was nothing from Hudson. I had thought by the evening he would have replied, but maybe he simply couldn’t be bothered with me anymore. I didn’t blame him.