Affaire de Coeur

by Stephanie O’Hanlon

  As much as it saddened me to see him go, I was extremely exhausted and needed a rest as well. Even Colette and Rose found it a good idea. Rose took her leave for the afternoon, but both she and Armand agreed to return for supper. Rose’s reasons were to keep me company, as she knew that I was upset that Lucien would not be back for the rest of the day. Armand’s were to see Colette, obviously.

  I was too happy to get out of my gown, deciding to sleep in my chemise. My window was wide open as the birds outside fluttered around and sang. The large trees shook in the wind, which was surprisingly cool, despite the heat of the sun. My linens were clean, smelling fresh, and my pillows all around me cradled my head comfortably, my body sinking into the feather mattress. The faint smell of summer outside of my window lingered with the fresh flowers in my room, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to look around at them, see what colors they were, or even what kind of flowers they were.

  My mind started to relax as I thought about Lucien in the bed with me, sound asleep, just as he was earlier. Although, it felt short-lived.

  What if Lucien and I married and had a home of our own? Would we simply stay in bed all day?

  Needless to say, I fell asleep. I napped the whole afternoon away; I was awake and fresh as the flowers around my room around suppertime, and Brielle gently woke me.

  “Mademoiselle, it is time to sup. Do you wish it brought to you, or do you wish to ready so you can join everyone in the dining room?”

  I sat up, looking over to the clock. It was almost eight. “I am going to ready to join them. Is Mademoiselle Colette awake?”

  She nodded. “She is also readying. She slept just as long as you.”

  I nodded, getting ready for the evening. I dressed in the same golden-patterned petticoat, and a solid pink, shiny charmeuse overskirt with mountains of white lace everywhere overtop.

  I went down and supped with everyone: Rose, Armand, and Colette. I certainly enjoyed everyone’s company, though my heart silently pined for Lucien.

  Sipping at coffee and chatting, we all sat in the parlor. Rose and I sat on the sofa, while Armand and Colette flirted at the table. Her hand, every so often, went to his and stroked it.

  I looked back to Rose. “Does it bother you?”

  She smiled, shaking her head. “No, surprising not. Look at him…the way he looks at her. Any word from the princess if she is going to let him pursue her?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know—”

  Suddenly, the clock struck eleven. Looking up to it, my whole body jumped up.

  “What? What’s wrong?” Rose asked, placing her cup down.

  “Oh, ummm…I just didn’t realize it was so late.” I looked around the room frantically. Armand and Colette looking at me as I stood in the middle of the room like an idiot. “I should…probably retire.”

  Colette’s brow furrowed, fighting a smile. “You slept all day, most of us did, yet you are tired?”

  I looked to Rose. My eyes pleaded for her to help me—hoping she would understand that I was trying to meet Lucien.

  Her eyes lit up as she finally understood, nodding. “Well, really. In this heat, the more sleep, the better. I actually think I am ready to leave, go to bed myself.”

  Both Armand and Colette rose from the table, but Rose put up her hand out to them.

  “No, no. I can see myself out. Maddy darling will see me at least to the staircase. You two go back to your conversation.” She turned, grabbed my arm, and led me out to into the hall, stopping in front of the staircase. “There you are, darling. No worries, now. Where is he meeting you?”

  “At the servant’s entrance. I can accompany you down to the foyer.”

  We both ran down the staircase, reaching the landing, where she gave me a hug before she asked a servant to ready her carriage. “All right, have fun.” She smiled, turning and walking toward the door as another servant walked off to get her effects.

  I ran to my left, beside the staircase to the servant’s entrance, readying to open the door as I felt hands around my waist. I turned to see Lucien standing behind me, kissing my cheek.

  “Oh, my Lord,” I laughed, turning to him and grabbing his hands. His dark, Roquelaure cloak was thrown over his broad shoulders. “We must hurry. Armand and Colette are in the parlor.”

  He nodded as I pulled him with me, standing in the shadows from the staircase and watching as Rose laughed to a male servant before she walked out the door, her carriage ready for her.

  We ran up the staircase, stopping at the top to make sure no one was in the hall, running into my bedchamber as I shut the door. I turned to him as we both laughed.

  “Well, this is thrilling, to say the least.” He laughed, untying his cloak and taking it off.

  “Here, I will put it in my wardrobe,” I took it from his hands, opened my wardrobe, and hung it up. I put my hand out, again, “and your justaucorps and waistcoat, please.”

  He eyed me and smirked lightly, taking off his red and gold justaucorps and his damask waistcoat, handing them to me. He looked down at his leather jockey boots, which cut off at his knees. “These as well? I warn you. I was at the stables.”

  I smiled and nodded. “Yes, the boots as well.”

  He obliged, taking them off and handing them to me, standing in the middle of the room. “Is there anything else of my clothes you want?” He wore a devilish smirk on his face as he held out his arms.

  I closed the wardrobe and walked over to him, smiling as I looked him over. “Yes, I should think your blouse. I want that.”

  He backed up toward the bed, still smiling as he pulled the bow on his solitaire. He untied it and pulled his stock off, throwing them on the bed before he took off his blouse, which he tossed there as well. He cocked his head. “Anything else?”

  I stepped toward him, putting my arms around his neck as I leaned into him, I pressed my lips against his before he broke away from me. “Wait, wait. Don’t I get to request some clothes from you?”

  I laughed lightly. “Which would you like? My panniers or my stays?”

  He smiled as he leaned into me, pressing his lips against mine passionately. His hand caressed the back of my neck.

  “Madeleine!”

  I tore away from his lips as I looked to the door. Colette’s voice rang out, sending a shock of fear through me. “Oh, my God. You need to hide!” I looked around the room frantically, trying to find a spot that would cover Lucien’s masculine frame. The only place Colette would never look was behind the drapes in the corner, by the door to the boudoir. I grabbed Lucien’s arm, pulling him over to it. “Get behind here!”

  “Madeleine,” Colette’s voice called out again, getting closer to my door.

  I pushed Lucien behind the curtain, his hand still in mine, pulling me back into him. He kissed me playfully as he smiled, obviously enjoying the situation. I pushed him away, pulling the drapes across and scrambling to the bed, diving onto it just as Colette walked into the room.

  “You weren’t answering,” she said, standing in the doorway.

  I nodded, “Ummm, I was combing my hair.”

  She looked over my perfectly intact curls piled on top of my head, her one glossy eyebrow arching as she sauntered over to my vanity.

  “Well, I mean I was going to make my couchér, so I was readying to comb my hair.”

  She was about to turn to me as I looked down to see Lucien’s blouse on the bed in front of me. I grabbed hold of it and stuffed it under the pillows, smiling as she looked me over. “What are you doing?”

  I sighed heavily, shrugging my shoulders. “Nothing at all. What are you up to?”

  She held out my perfume in her hand, holding the little pink pump up and waving it. “I wanted to borrow some of your perfume.”

  She quickly sprayed herself all over four times before she walked over to the window, pushing back the drapes as she pulled the crank, opening the window further. “It is rather cool this evening. You better let in plenty of the night air.
I fear it will be another scorcher, tomorrow.”

  My eyes opened wide with fright, looking to the floor where Lucien’s white stocking feet stuck out.

  She looked back to me. “What? Are you all right?”

  I nodded lightly, clearing my throat. “Ummm, are you still entertaining Armand?”

  She nodded and smiled devilishly, “I am! Hence the perfume. He said he admired a scent on the air, and I just knew it was your perfume. I am actually surprised he never noticed it before. The vanilla and jasmine that he could pick up from it told me it was yours. He would make an excellent perfumer from that observation.”

  I smiled. “Oh, I see.” My eyes went back to the drapes, and Lucien’s feet were gone. I panicked, looking around the room. Where could he have gone?

  Colette looked me over, walking over toward me. “Are you all right, Maddy? You look a little…peaked.”

  I swallowed hard as I looked down. “I am feeling a bit ill. I should go back to bed.”

  Colette nodded, “Yes, perhaps. I will tell you about Armand in the morning!” She wiggled her eyebrows mischievously as she turned and quickly skipped out of the room. My eyes followed as the door closed.

  I sighed as Lucien sat down on the edge of the bed, my attention turning to him quickly. “Oh, where did you go?”

  He looked my face over as he stroked my cheek. “I knew she would see my feet, so I made my way behind your changing screen. Do you feel all right?”

  “I am completely fine.” I smiled to him as I climbed my way over onto his lap. “How was court?”

  “Ugh,” he groaned. “It was court. I would much rather be right here with you.”

  He held me tightly, burying his head on my shoulder.

  We agreed that I should make my couchér as I said I would to Colette, as not to rouse any more suspicion.

  It would definitely take us a while to work out some sort of finesse.

  Chapter Fifteen

  That night, I learned something interesting, something that Lucien also consented to. Indeed, coitus interruptus was an effective method of birth control, but it was frustrating. It robbed the moment and caused a slight problem of the mess it left afterward. I was thankful there was still water left in the basin from my couchér.

  We lay in the bed, his head on my chest with my arms wrapped around him as he sighed.

  “I suppose I should probably inquire as to those barriers that Donatien was speaking of,” he said quietly, holding me tightly.

  I pouted lightly, looking around the room. “Barriers?”

  He sat up, looking to me. “Yes…they obviously are supposed to stop us from having the result of pregnancy without leaving the evidence.”

  “Would that not be a sin?” I asked.

  “Not any more than what we are already doing.” He pushed a blonde strand out of my face. “We want to be safe, do we not?”

  “Oh, most certainly.”

  It wasn’t until the next evening that we tried these barriers, what were called “assurance caps” amongst libertines who readily used them.

  It was an interesting sensation to say the least, almost exactly as if not having any barrier at all. Thankfully, it did not rob the moment like previous. They were interesting…that was the only word I had for them. They were made of some sort of animal intestine softened with lye. Of course, the thought disgusted me at first, but I was open to trying anything to prevent further complications. Life was complicated enough. We both agreed to hide these caps in the drawer of the table next to the bed. Lucien’s valet would procure them at one of the seedy shops around the Palais Royale.

  Friday evening was upon us—our fourth night of being together and testing out our ploy for getting Lucien into the house. The two nights previous went swimmingly, though I was constantly afraid of someone bursting through the door and finding us. I took to locking both doors, praying to the Lord that no one would try them and ask me questions about it.

  Just as the previous nights, I planned to meet Lucien at the servant’s entrance as soon as the clock in the foyer struck eleven. I had told Colette I was going to read in my room and possibly write my father, which I did, waiting out the evening at my secrétaire and writing to my father of the goings on.

  As of yet, I had not mentioned Lucien, nor did my father ask if any men had made any promises to me or shown any interest. I was quite sure he was planning on marrying me off to one of his subordinates, as was normal for the daughter of a merchant, but I couldn’t help thinking what he would say if he found out that a Comte wanted to marry me.

  Worse yet, what if he forbids it? What if he marries me off, and on my wedding night, my new husband discovers that not only is my virtue not intact, but I am versed in the ways of pleasuring a man?

  I would be a whore, a harlot. Perhaps a witch, as I was of the lower-middle class. They would think that the Devil had come and seduced me. I shook off the thoughts, though I knew I was going to have to bring it up with Lucien.

  What do I tell my father? What should I tell my father?

  The gilded clock on the mantle said it was five minutes to eleven. A smile came to me as my toes curled, thinking of Lucien and seeing him, as I had not seen him all day. I was readying myself to run down in the shadows when Colette walked into the room, sauntered over to the bed, and plopped herself down on it, looking me over.

  My brow raised. “Yes?”

  “I am bored,” she said, lying on her side. Her butter cream-colored gown shimmered from the firelight. “Entertain me.”

  I looked to the clock and that stupid hand was getting closer and closer to the twelve. My whole body shook. “Oh, why am I elected to do such?”

  “Because,” she said, rolling her eyes, “like Maman or Pa-pa would ever entertain me.”

  “I thought Armand was here?” I asked, hoping that he was, that she had just had a moment of boredom, or was hoping in such boredom I would ask her details.

  She shook her head. “No, he left at about nine. Though, he wants to arrive back in the morning to go riding.”

  “Oh,” I said, looking back to the clock. “That will be nice.”

  She shrugged her shoulders, “I think I am bored with him…I don’t know. Did I tell you Vachel sent a letter to me?”

  I stopped, looking at her. “No! No, Colette. He didn’t!”

  She nodded. “He did. He wants to meet for coffee, wants to see how I am.”

  “You are not going to do it, are you?” I was shocked, my mouth agape at the thought of it. After all he did to her! After the drama he started when he arrived at the house so long ago, the way he treated me!

  She laid back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, “I don’t know. I might just do it, just to see your feathers ruffle.”

  I crossed my arms, my mouth scrunching to the side in annoyance. “Like I care what you do with him.”

  She sat up. “Oh, please. Of course you do, Maddy! You have hated him from the very moment you met him. Do not pretend that you haven’t.”

  “I have.” I nodded. “I saw what he was doing, what he was capable of. The type of person he is.”

  She stood up, angered. “You know nothing! You did not know him as I did, as I do. You did not spend one moment with him. Give him one chance!”

  “I believe you gave him enough chances for the both of us.”

  She kept her heated, green eyes on me, raised her chin, and walked toward the door to the boudoir, but she stopping before it. “Do you know what they say of me, Madeleine?”

  “Who?” I asked.

  “All of them. My so-called friends. Vachel never spoke of me as such. Armand probably does, and Étienne no doubt as well. He was my best friend. He was everything to me, but you cannot understand that. Can you?”

  With that, she turned and walked through the boudoir, slamming the door shut, her words stinging me.

  Oh, but I do. Lucien would never treat me like a common whore.

  I wish I had said the words out loud, but I didn’
t dare. Tears filled my eyes as I looked toward the clock, the long hand past twelve. I turned and ran out through the hall and down the staircase, over to the servant’s entrance, where Lucien waited in the shadows.

  He ran up to me. “I thought you weren’t going to be here for a moment.”

  I shook my head, tears filling my eyes at the sight of him. I didn’t know if it was because I missed him so much or because Colette had wounded me so with her words. Perhaps it was a combination of both.

  He gently put his hands on either side of my face, looking into my tear-filled eyes, “Are you crying? What has happened? What’s wrong?”

  I shook my head. “It’s nothing. Come, we must make to my bedchamber, or they will find us.”

  He questioned me into the night about why I had been upset. Thankfully, the questioning and all talking stopped as we made love. I could tell behind his eyes he was worried and wondering whom he had to strike down for making me cry.

  Over the next week, Lucien met me at the servant’s entrance at eleven in the evening, both of us sneaking up to my bedchamber and hiding him behind my changing screen as I made my couchér.

  I became quickly accustomed to taking my bath in the mornings, making it a part of my toilette. In the evening, Brielle dressed me in my nightgown before Lucien seductively took it off me. That was the perfect week to have such practice, working on our strategy for getting Lucien into my room. Colette was preoccupied with Armand, who was at the house every day, taking up her interest, again. They flirted more outright. Though, when he tutored her at the harpsichord, he was still a teacher. We often heard the slaps from his baton hitting her hand throughout the house.

  Of course, she barely spoke to me. When she did it, was small things. Never any gossip or anything about men. It was a question to pass something on the table, may she use my hairbrush or my perfume. She didn’t seem to want to speak to me any other way.