Affaire de Coeur

by Stephanie O’Hanlon

The question is: Is there water still in it?

  I ran over to it, lifting it to find only the smallest amount of water in the bottom. Just enough to clean the one stain. I brought it over to the bed, carefully cleaning it as best as I could. I hoped to God that the area would dry before Brielle came in a mere three hours, especially in this heat. It was already starting to get stifling.

  After I cleaned what I could, I put everything back where it once was, hoping Brielle would not ask questions.

  I walked back over to the bed, lying down on it over top of the linens and coverlet. The heat soaked through my nightgown, and the thought of being under all the material made my legs shift uncomfortably.

  The next thing I knew, I was being awakened by Brielle. She was tidying up the room, picking up my gown from the floor, and straightening various other places. I suddenly felt a set of feet walking up me, until a cold paw squished my nose. I opened my eyes to Toulouse. The snowy white kitten looked into my eyes. His little paw was above my nose, ready to strike, again.

  I smiled and sat up stiffly, my whole body aching all over.

  Brielle smiled at the kitten, “Good morning, Mademoiselle. Shall I ready a bath for you?”

  “Yes.” The thought of sinking into the tub filled me with a thrill. As soon as I sank down into it, the warm water swirled around me and made all the tension and aches in my thighs, back, and neck slowly unwind and relax. I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment.

  “Oh!” I heard Brielle say, her little voice unsure.

  “What?” I asked, my eyes snapping open.

  “I will need to change your linens.”

  Her voice sounded from the far part of the room, though I nodded. “It must be the stress from the heat, and my cycle must be upon me.” I felt my face flush. The thought of Lucien being in my room only hours before was very present in my mind, though it now felt like it was forever ago.

  Perhaps I imagined it?

  No, the evidence was there. There was blood on the sheets. I had cleaned Lucien’s evidence of such an act, and my body was stiff and hurt.

  I could never have imagined that.

  I made my toilette slowly, though the thought of food was comforting. I saw little creamy, puffy pastries: all pink, yellow, and a soft brown. My macarons were no doubt awaiting me on the table in the salon. They only ever put petit fours out when we had company, much to my dismay.

  Brielle fastened a black ribbon on my neck. The long strings on either side brushed against the back of my neck. One of the other maids was ready, taking off my peignoir and toile as I rose.

  Brielle put a golden-striped petticoat over my panniers. Little pink flowers and vines, between the different colored golden strips, alternated from a dark gold and a light champagne color. Ruffles and pleats filled out the last six inches of the petticoat prettily, the ruffles also covering the seams of the stomacher and matching the petticoat. Brielle then put a light violet overskirt over it with little pink daisies patterned all over, and white lace at the neckline and sleeves, which puffed out dramatically, frothy and frilly.

  I yawned as Brielle fastened the last of it, pinning the front of the stomacher into place. As my eyes closed sleepily, I tried to think of how much sleep I had the night before. No doubt I slept in Lucien’s arms when he was there, but we didn’t really fall asleep until after midnight. Then, I was up again after one. Again just after six—a handful of hours to run on for the day.

  I pushed my shoulders back, held my breath for a moment, and walked out of the room with Toulouse scampering after me, chasing the little train of my sacque back that trailed behind me. I turned and picked him up, squishing him to my chest as I made my way down the steps. The Marquis stood in the foyer, yelling at his courier.

  “I do not care how long it takes. I want to know! You will make sure it gets to town, and you will keep to your place.” The Marquis then handed the man some coins, turned him, and pushed him toward the door. He turned and saw me, bowing his head. “Madeleine. Where is Colette?”

  I shrugged my shoulders, Toulouse squirming in my arms.

  “Hmmm,” he huffed, turning and stomping off into his office where he slammed the door.

  I frowned, turning into the dining room and walking to the salon. I looked down at the kitten and smiled. As I walked into the room, Colette was sitting prettily in a golden yellow gown. It was similar to my own, though it was entirely gold.

  “Oh,” I said, walking up to the table and sitting on the chair carefully. “Did you hear your father is looking for you?”

  She picked up the Gazette, rolling her eyes. “Like I care.”

  I put Toulouse down on the floor and watched as he pawed at the skirt of my gown. “So, what happened with Armand?”

  She smiled as she put the paper down. Obviously, I chose the right subject to pique her interest. “Oh, what did not happen! He apologized, he groveled! I almost expected him to confess his undying love.”

  I smirked, picking up one of the croissants and a block of cheese. I placed them on my plate and ate them ravenously.

  “Of course we argued, but what is new there? Then, he turned me around the dance floor until at least after midnight. We walked about the back garden for a while, enjoying the night air. It was still quite hot, even late into the evening. I saw your lights were still on. Were you unable to sleep?”

  I looked up to her. “What? Oh, no. I fell asleep even in my gown. I was exhausted.”

  She looked me over. “Perhaps it is a combination of the stays and the silk of the gowns. You usually don’t wear these fashions out there with my grandma-ma, so that makes perfect sense. You should think about taking it easy. Try to get as much of the fresh air and water as you can.”

  I nodded, continuing to shove more of the croissant into my mouth.

  She looked to me disgusted, her face twisted up. “Hungry?”

  I stopped, looking down at my plate.

  “I have never seen you eat as such, unless it was a pastry before you. Though, I suppose you need the energy.”

  I almost burst out laughing, thinking of what I was going to use that energy for. Certainly, Lucien was going to overexert me, if we could find a way to have him room with me.

  “Oh, I have sent word for Rose to come by. She should play croquet with us today. Is Lucien going to make his appearance?”

  She picked up her paper again, reading it over and smiling. Probably one of those stupid cartoons they often had in it.

  “I don’t know.”

  “I wonder what this man that you have been writing to is all about. You seem quite ecstatic when you receive them.”

  I felt a flight of panic run through me, almost unable to think of a way to really explain that.

  Well, why not give her what she truly wants?

  “Well, I am interested. I cannot say that I am not. He is definitely quite the prospect.”

  “You said he was from the country. Why would you bother with such a man? What is happening with Lucien?”

  She put the paper down for a minute before picking it up. Her words almost convinced her she really wanted to read it.

  I shook my head. “Nothing. Well, what is happening with Armand? What about Étienne?”

  She sighed, certainly annoyed. Rolling her eyes, she said, “I told you. Nothing is happening with Étienne. Poor fool speaks like the latest novel yet won’t do anything, because he’s afraid Vachel will find him and slit his throat. God, as soon as I rid of that little boy from my life, he finds a way to complicate it further.”

  I licked my lips, picked up a frosty, pink macaron, and bit into it, savoring it. I loved the texture, the flaky shell that slightly crumbled, though not enough to make a mess. Then, there was the soft strawberry, buttery center. The lovely essence of almonds tinted it and, for some reason, filled my body with the most serene calm of pleasure. It sent a shiver of delicious ecstasy through me, and my eyes almost closed as I suppressed a whimper.

  I swallowed, trying to contain myse
lf from the sinful delight. “Armand?”

  “Well, now that I am not bothering with Étienne, at least, until it suits me, I think I should have a bit of fun.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me, causing me to smile and laugh lightly.

  Rose arrived not even an hour later. She was glamorous in her lemon silk robe à la Française, lace sticking out from everywhere possible, and an échelle of black bows on the stomacher, scrunched together.

  She sat on the chaise longue in the salon, Colette on the floor with Toulouse, and myself on an armchair across from her. We all laughed at the scandal from Rose’s past week and her little adventures.

  “Oh, you should have heard him! He pushed me into the next room, a dark and cavernous room. I was sure no one would hear us, not a scream or anything. He dropped his fall front of his breeches and well…there it was!”

  I put my hand over my mouth, trying to stifle a laugh.

  Colette grabbed Toulouse and put him on his hind legs, petting his belly. “You have got to be joking!”

  “What did you say?” I asked.

  “Well, what do you think? ‘What do you think you are doing with that, Monsieur?’ He was absolutely mortified and dumbstruck. He could not think of an answer for the life of him!” She laughed, fanning herself with a little silk and lace peach-colored fan. “Especially something so small.”

  Colette looked over to the clock as she smiled, “Oh!” She stood, putting Toulouse on the floor. “Armand will be here for our lesson.”

  I watched as she left the room before I looked over to the tray on the little table beside me. “More tea?”

  Rose shook her head, smiled, and kicked her skirt around for Toulouse to pounce on. “No. Thank you, Maddy darling.”

  I smiled, looking down at the kitten. His blue eyes looked up at me, and a little meow escaped him before he pounced once again.

  “So…?” Rose looked at me, seemingly uninterested in the cat suddenly.

  I looked around the room before my eyes came back to her. “So? What?”

  “Who is he?” Rose smiled largely, almost giggling.

  I looked around once again, my mouth agape. I tried to think of what she could possibly have meant. “I’m sorry. Who?”

  “The one who preoccupies your mind! It is a man. I can just tell.” She sat toward me.

  I shook my head, almost gasping for air.

  “Oh, come now! Madeleine, you have that glow about you. I just know you have had a wild stallion between your legs!” Her eyes flashed devilishly.

  My face flushed red as I turned away from her. I stood up quickly and turned away from her. “I have no idea what you are talking about. Really, I—”

  She crawled on the chaise longue, lying on her stomach as she looked up at me. “Which one is he? Come, now. You can tell me! Where did you do the deed?”

  I was in near hysterics, looking toward the door. Colette was not anywhere near, though I didn’t hear her or Armand.

  Could she possibly be in the dining room?

  “You cannot fool me!” She kicked her legs up, the skirt of her gown scrunching up, and her red heels pointing upward. “Don’t forget. I may be a Duchesse, but I still know what a man can do to you. Who is he?”

  I turned toward the window, looking out. “Ummm, Lucien. It was…it was Lucien.”

  She sat up, her mouth falling open as she crossed her legs beneath her. “De Laurent? That amazing, gorgeously rich young man? The Comte?”

  I turned to her, looking at my hands. “I do not care about his money, Rose. I…I am in love with him. Please do not tell anyone, especially Colette. She has enough going on, dealing with everything, Armand and such. Please?”

  “Your secret is safe with me,” she said, raising her right hand. “Now, what was he like? Where did you do it?”

  My face went red as I sat back down, covering it with my hands. I didn’t know why I was so comfortable talking with Rose, why I was so sure she wasn’t going to tell anyone my secret. Perhaps because she did not tell anyone that I was in love with Lucien when she brought it up the first time. Did it really surprise her that I admitted that I loved him?

  “In my room, last night.”

  She was caught in between a smile and a gasp, hitting my leg playfully. “Oh my goodness! And? What is your opinion on it?”

  My brow creased in confusion. “On what?”

  “On making love!” She laughed. “On being with a man in such a way.”

  My face went red again, and I covered my eyes. “It was…good.”

  “Hmmm, I can imagine. With legs like Lucien’s, I am sure he was able to make the Earth move from under you.” She giggled, turned on the chaise longue, and rested against the back of it.

  I knelt forward, grabbing her arm. “Please, Rose. Do not tell a soul! I really—”

  She sat up, looking at me. Her face went quiet in seriousness. “I will not tell anyone. I mean it, Madeleine.” She looked down to our hands, my own slipping down to hers. “In truth, you are my first real friend. I know Colette sees me as some sort of rival, but I assure you. Armand and I are over, extremely over. That time has passed. I know that has strained things between us, especially at that ball for Lucien’s grandmother’s birthday. I would never jeopardize the one friendship I seem to have.”

  I smiled, tears lightly filling my eyes. “Thank God! I have been dying to talk to someone, anyone about this!”

  “Don’t you talk to Lucien?” She laughed, her brown eyes twinkling. “Or are you busy doing other things?”

  “Ha! Of course we talk,” I said, sitting on the floor. Toulouse jumped to my lap. “It is not the same, though. He cannot be here all the time. Not as I wish him to.”

  “Monsieur le Comte Lucien de Laurent,” the servant announced.

  I looked up to Lucien in the doorway, now in a green suit. His dark brown hair was pulled back neatly. This suit was similar to his one from the night previous. In fact, he was wearing the same waistcoat as the night before, but instead of emeralds up the trim of his flat-collared justaucorps, it was white gems. His eyes met with mine, sending a shock through me as I tried to stand from the floor. “Lucien.”

  He walked up to me, clearing his throat as I stood. “I was going to send word, but I figured you wouldn’t mind if I just stopped by. Croquet and tea, as usual.”

  I nodded. “Yes, ummm…Oh, this is Rose. Madame la Duchesse Rose Downs.”

  He bowed to her. “Yes, I remember. Good day, Madame.”

  She stood and curtsied to him, looking him over before she smirked to me. “I shall leave you two alone. Perhaps I will visit upon Colette and Armand in the music room. Stir up some trouble there.”

  Lucien raised his eyebrow and watched as she left, her long lemon yellow sacque back billowing out as she left the room.

  He looked to me, concerned, and I shook my head. “Don’t worry about her.”

  “Hmmm,” he hummed, grabbing my waist and pulling me into him. “I believe I owe you a good morning and a good afternoon.”

  I smiled as I stroked his shoulder, letting my hands rest on his chest. “And I you. Did you arrive at your manor safely?”

  He nodded. “My valet left one of my horses in the stable. No one noticed her there, or me for that fact, when I made my way off the land.”

  “Oh,” I said, surprised. “Well, that’s good then. Are you sure your valet will not tell anyone?”

  “He is loyal to me. I pay him well enough.” He ran his hands up my back, his eyes on mine, that lust playing behind his. His mouth twisted a little, looking to my own mouth.

  “What?” I asked, slightly worried of his expression.

  “Well, I am just wondering if people are going to be suspicious if I am away all day from my manor. Whether at court, which I have to visit this evening for some business, or here, and then hiding out, sending my empty carriage home, and making away in the early mornings. Do you think people would become suspicious and ask questions?”

  His beautiful face frowned
at the thought of it, and I even found myself frowning, thinking about it. “What do you suggest?”

  “You won’t like it,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t like it, either.”

  “Tell me,” I said, taking a big breath and priming myself, building myself up with courage.

  “Perhaps I should stop visiting during the day? After all, during the day, we scramble about and try to find privacy. Even at this moment, I keep worrying Colette will come in here, screaming at us.” He smiled.

  My heart sank at the thought of it.

  “Oh, please don’t make that look. Please?” he asked, his face wincing in pain. “That’s probably the most heartbreaking look I have ever seen. Forget what I said. We will manage, figure out some sort of fib.”

  I frowned but quickly smiled lightly, falsely. He could see through it, but I took a big breath once again, nodding. “No, you are right. It will only be for a few hours. I retire at about eleven in the evening, unless we go out—”

  “Then, I will be wherever you go. I will make sure I have an invitation,” he interrupted.

  “Then, you can sneak through the servant’s entrance and up to my bedchamber. I can even meet you, so you have an extra pair of eyes. Besides, I think I like the idea of you spending the night with me.”

  He eyed me for a moment, looking me over uncertainly. “Are you sure? We have talked about this before…we have complicated this greatly.”

  I nodded lightly, leaning into him and pressing my lips against his. His hands moved from my waist up to my neck, caressing up to my face where he eagerly kissed me.

  “Oh, hours have felt like days.” He panted, kissing below my lips and my cheek.

  I whimpered, holding onto him tightly, kissing him once more before we heard laughter in the music room. I sighed. “We should make an appearance. You have to make one at court this evening?”

  He nodded. “Yes, they are having a fête. For what, I have no idea. Probably something stupid, as usual.”

  I grabbed his hand and held it tightly before we reluctantly made our way out. Not before I grabbed Toulouse from the floor and cuddled him in my arms, bringing him along with us.

  Lucien didn’t stay long, much to my dismay and extreme displeasure. Even worse, we did not have much time alone. All of us sat and chatted while we had coffee and pastries. Lucien decided that if he was going to be able to go to court in the evening and visit upon me at night, he was going to have to go home and rest.