Forever More

by Rachel De Lune

  “Fucking… Jesus Christ, Izzy. Again.” He grips my head in his hands, clearly signalling for me to stay in position. I pull in air through my nose and calm my rising panic and aching jaw. I descend on him once again. This time, I anticipate the feeling. I want to cough but I swallow frantically to stop it.

  “Izzy, I can’t. Fuck, I’m going to come.” His warning is quickly followed by his hips surging forward, and his hands grip hold of my head, effectively fucking my mouth. The restriction is uncomfortable, but knowing that I’ve driven Seb to come this passionately allows me to push past my discomfort.

  Warm liquid hits the back of my throat and I swallow it quickly before drawing my lips up to release him. I’m pleased with myself, or rather, with Seb’s apparent pleasure. His inability to hold back has done a marvellous job making me feel good about myself. He pulls me against him and releases a big sigh.

  “We’re going to have to work on a few things.” His tone kills my happy feeling instantly. Perhaps I didn’t do it right? “One, you need to learn self-control and patience. We’ll start like we did before, and being away will help with that. And two, I’m going to have to stop myself from shoving my dick in your mouth every time I see you. Fuck me, Izzy, that was intense. Thank you. This is the only time I’m going to thank you for doing something I told you not to do.” His admonishment is hidden within his praise, but I’m only interested in the praise.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay.”

  We finally drag ourselves out of bed, happy to lounge in our little bubble. After the heat from my show of affection earlier, we’re now relishing the warmth of one another.

  “Why aren’t you spending Christmas with your family? Why are you working?” Now that I’m on surer footing with Seb, my curiosity leaks out.

  “My mother and father live in the US. New York City. They moved there about fifteen years ago. We don’t see each other much, maybe once, twice a year. I don’t have any brothers or sisters, and the friends I do have, I see when I choose. Christmas isn’t a big deal for me. You said yesterday that you weren’t seeing your parents. Do you normally?”

  “My parents live in Canterbury. Phil and I moved down to Bath for our jobs years ago. We wanted to be on our own so I don’t see my parents too often, although I normally would go home at some point over the holidays. They’re okay with ‘no plans for this year but I’ll see them soon’.”

  “You aren’t close to them?”

  “I wouldn’t say I wasn’t close to them, but I’ve lived my own life for so long it’s just the way we are. We talk on the phone occasionally as well. I’m probably closer to my dad than my mum.”

  “And you see Jess’s family?”

  “Yes, Jess and I have been best friends since we met in Bath. Her family live just round the corner from her, so I see them often, usually over a Sunday lunch. It’s nice.”

  “Hmm.” Seb pauses and I wait for another question. “Right, we need to get up. It’s past one already and you’ll have to head back soon.” The little glimpses of Seb’s life and of mine we’re sharing are novel. I’ve been with the same person for so long now that getting to know the somewhat mundane things about Seb is shiny and new, and because it’s Seb, I’m happy to provide the information in return. I’m desperate to ask more about his parents and find out more information about the man I love. And about New York, but I know I’ll just get all excited. Another day, Izzy.

  I shower and change while Seb orders some lunch. Time seems to be against us, and before I know it, I’m packing up my bag. The time in our bubble hasn’t been nearly long enough, but it has certainly mended my heart.

  “So, when will I see you next?”

  “Not until after the New Year. I have some commitments that will be hard to get out of. Come January, it will be easier.”

  “Oh, okay, um… that’s fine.” I purposefully check my bag again to distract from the tears glistening on my lashes.

  “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. You have New Year’s to celebrate and then we’ll get the details firmed up. It will be something to look forward to, I promise.” He pulls my face up and wipes away the lone tear with the pad of this thumb. “Don’t cry. This time apart will only be a few days. Come on now. This hotel will forever be special to me. For the first time, you and I have been able to spend time together freely. I got to take you out and hold your hand with no guilt and no time limit. This hotel is where you and I began. That will always be precious to me.” His eyes radiate warmth, and the tears fall as happy tears after his words. He cradles me against his chest and gives me a minute. “Now, have you got everything?” He pulls me through the hotel suite before pausing at the door. “We’ll have a lot to talk through when I’m back, I promise, and thank you for not giving in to your curiosity. I know you have a hundred questions, and I do as well. We’ll get to them soon.” He slides his hands around my neck and pulls me in before taking my lips. His kiss is slow and deep and tells me everything I need to hear. “This isn’t a goodbye. It’s a see you soon.” I smile up at him a little more confidently now.

  “Hello?” When I arrive back at Jess’s, a dark and still hallway greets me as I swing the door open. All the lights are off, so I don’t expect an answer. It’s just after 7:00 p.m. Although I’ve only been gone two days, it feels like a lifetime. I put the kettle on to heat and take my bag up to my bedroom before returning to make the tea.

  I slump on the sofa, weary from the drive. I snuggle in and clasp the hot mug between my hands, the heat radiating through my skin, and marvel at the comfort that a good cup of tea can conjure. I text Seb to let him know I’ve returned safely. Amazingly, my mood hasn’t taken a nosedive.

  I’m taking control of my life. I’m making decisions and following them through. That is a huge accomplishment for me. Plus, Seb is in my life.

  Work is a welcome distraction from thinking about Seb, and the office is quiet with the lull between Christmas and New Year. Normally, I wouldn’t be working, but I can’t complain given the amount of time I was MIA before Christmas.

  I lock my phone away so I don’t spend every five minutes texting Seb. It doesn’t help that he checks in with me every couple of hours. Sometimes it’s just a quick hi; other times it’s more… explicit.

  I’m thinking about how good you taste when you come on my tongue. S

  I don’t think I’ve heard you beg enough, Isabel. Be prepared to beg. S

  Are you still frustrated? Can you still feel my fingers in you? S

  It’s only been a day and I already ache. I squirm in my chair and try to rid my mind of the sinfully erotic images dancing across it. They’re completely unsuitable for work, but there isn’t anyone here to notice my blush.

  I love the texts, but can we save them for after work? You’re very distracting. Izzy

  I am determined to get through these couple of days before New Year. I know that Seb and I are going to be together. Just a few more days until I see him again.

  At home, I retreat to my past fantasies, browsing my Tumblr blog feed and some of the other BDSM sites. Since Seb, the pull of these has lessened. Now I know how the bite of the crop feels against my flesh. Now I know about the heat and pain that flash before the dull, lustful ache takes over.

  The visual stimulation is a poor substitute for the real thing, but it keeps my mind occupied.

  My phone wakes me from my deep slumber and I reach over to silence the alarm before realising that it isn’t my alarm, it’s my phone. “Hello?”

  “Good morning, Izzy.”

  “Good morning, Seb. It’s early. Is everything alright?”

  “Yes, I just wanted to check in on you, and I wanted to hear your voice.”

  The sentiment warms my heart. The little things he says are slowly rebuilding my faith in love. “It’s nice to hear yours as well. What are you doing today?”

  “I have meetings all day, which leads me to the other reason I called. What are you wearing?”

  “Um, a camisole and knick
ers. Why?”

  “I want to imagine you lounging in silk and lace while I sit around all day at a board table going over contracts.” I can hear the annoyance in his tone and I’m happy about it. He doesn’t want to be away from me anymore than I want to be away from him. “I have a plan for later tonight. It will require you to do as I say.” His tone has dropped to that sinfully deep timbre that sends excitement pulsing in my veins.

  “Okay,” I breathe.

  “I want you to be naked in your bed when I call you at 9:00 tonight.” He pauses. “Isabel?” he growls, and it warms every part of my body.

  “Yes, yes, I will.”

  “Good girl. Now, you need to get to work. I’ll call you later, sweetheart.”

  Phone sex. Seb’s conversation from earlier can only mean phone sex. That thought has made me hot and fidgety all day. The hands on the clock don’t take pity on me and creep around at a painfully slow pace. Luckily, Jess is out when I get home, so I don’t have to worry about making an excuse for an early bed.

  I snuggle under the covers just before nine. Anticipation thrums through my limbs, but it isn’t enough to keep me warm, so I wrap the duvet around me. I’ve been thinking about all the different things Seb might say to me or tell me to do, and I know if I dip my finger between my thighs, I’ll be damp. The dirty texts seem to have stopped after I asked Seb to tone them down, but that doesn’t mean I don’t re-read them before I go to sleep without him.

  The phone buzzes and Seb’s voice brings my body to attention.

  “Good evening, Isabel. I trust you’re suitably prepared. Are you naked for me?” God, his voice!

  “Yes, Sebastian.”

  “Good girl. Now, I want you to follow my instructions, just as if I was with you in the room. I want you to listen to my voice. Put the phone on speaker so you have both hands free. You’re going to be touching yourself, and I don’t want you to worry about the phone.” I tap the button and slide the phone onto the bedside cabinet.

  “Ready.”

  “Good. Start slowly and imagine that I’m standing at the bottom of the bed watching you—watching you make yourself come at my will. Don’t talk unless I ask you a direct question, but I expect you to acknowledge and tell me you’re following. Understand?”

  “Yes, Sebastian.” My pulse quickens and I push the duvet off and slip down into the bed. I lie on my back, and my eyes focus on my imaginary Seb. He stands over me at the foot of the bed.

  “Slowly start to caress your beautiful skin, Isabel. Run your hands over your stomach, your hips, and up to your breasts. Feel your skin, the warmth from it.”

  “Yes.” My skin pebbles with goose bumps as my fingers follow his orders. My touch replaces my memory of Seb’s and my stomach tightens in anticipation.

  “Open your legs wide. I want to watch your pussy get wet for me. Spread your legs and keep them there. Keep touching your skin. Run your hands down your thighs, but don’t get greedy. Have you done that, Isabel? Have you spread your legs for me?”

  “Yes,” I pant. Frustration floods me, turning my slow burn of longing into a blaze. My pussy aches for his attention, weeping in protest. “Good girl. Start playing with your nipples. Pinch and roll them between your finger and thumb. Start slowly. Play. Find what feels good. I want you to pinch harder, then release. Pinch and release. I know how you love me playing with your beautiful pink nipples. Imagine I’m teasing you. I’m squeezing them hard and making you squirm under my control.”

  Small moans break free of my lips at his words.

  “I can hear that you like what you’re doing. Keep doing it, Isabel. I want you to be glistening and wet for me. I want to see your desire running out of your pretty pussy for me. Are your legs still open for me to watch you?”

  “Yes, yes, Sebastian,” I pant. My body writhes from the pent-up desire he pulls from me. I’ve never had phone sex before, and rather than the lukewarm pleasure I feel when I masturbate alone, my body reacts wantonly to Seb’s orders. I feel sexy, alone in my own bed, yet I’m not on my own. Sebastian commands my actions, and that’s what makes this experience so heady.

  “Run your hands back over your body. Skim your labia for me. Don’t touch yourself—only tease. Show me what you want me to touch, to lick. Tempt me to stop watching you and feast on you. Do that for me, Isabel.” His voice is getting deeper and I think about what this is doing to him. I desperately want to ask how he’s feeling, if he’s hard at the thought of me touching and pinching my nipples, if he wants me to suck his cock as much as I want him to lick me. His voice is an aphrodisiac that I can’t control. My thoughts and my actions drive me closer to climax. I want to touch my clit and make myself come, but I don’t. I wait for Sebastian. My small whimpers and mewls confirm that I’m following his commands. My will has become his voice dictating my actions.

  “Very nice, Isabel. My cock is rock hard at the sounds of you working yourself up. Picture me standing over you with my cock in my hand, as I slowly rub up and down and get off on the sight of you sprawled on your bed. Push your finger inside your wet pussy for me. I can see how wet it is for me. Push inside and imagine it’s my finger thrusting inside you.”

  “Oh, yes,” I cry when my finger slips inside my silky core, but it doesn’t quench the needy feeling rolling in my stomach. I want to be filled. “More. Please, Sebastian.”

  “You want more than your delicate little finger in your pretty pussy, Isabel? Do you want to be filled?” I gush with liquid heat at his words. My excitement coats my finger, sliding slowly back and forth.

  “Yes. God, Sebastian, yes.”

  “Put another finger in, Isabel. That’s right, but I know you want more. Put three fingers inside you and finger fuck yourself. Fuck yourself and I’m going to watch as I pump my cock.” I grind down on my hand, my fingers not going as deep as I want, but I do as Seb commands and thrust them quickly in and out. I pant in time with my movements and I picture Seb watching over me, his cock in hand.

  “Yes, oh, just… Yes.”

  “Don’t come until I tell you to, Isabel. I’m going to come with you.” I immediately slow my movements to keep my climax at bay. “Don’t stop, though. I want you fucking yourself, filling yourself with your fingers. It will be my cock soon. My tongue and my cock and my fingers. Imagine that now—my tongue lapping up your juices as you writhe on my face, bringing you up but not letting you climax until you’re begging me. Beg me to push you over.”

  “Please, Sebastian, please… Let me come.” His words have me right on the edge, but I’m waiting for him. I need him to give me permission.

  “Come, Isabel. God, come. Yes!”

  My muffled cries fill the room as I ride my climax, finally stopping when my pussy stops contracting. We’re silent for a few moments and I can hear his heavy breathing through the phone. My climax was intense, beyond what I ever thought phone sex could be like.

  “Are you still there, Isabel?”

  “Yes.” I sigh, contentedly.

  “God, that was good. I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too. I want you to hold me and wrap me up in your arms.”

  “I’d love to be there to do just that. You’ll have to settle for me whispering in your ear as you fall to sleep.”

  “Alright.” I pull up the duvet, snuggling back down.

  “Good night, Isabel. Sweet dreams, sweetheart.”

  “Good night, Sebastian.”

  Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, so Jess and I agree to have an early night. I know we’ll be going out tomorrow. There’s no point in even trying to stay in. Jess begins to turn off the lights in the living room. I pick up my empty wine glass from earlier in the evening and walk to the hall light switch. Just as I turn the hall light out, a knock at the front door stops us in our tracks. We stare at each other, frozen in place.

  “Who would that be?” My exaggerated whisper is much louder than I’d hoped.

  “I don’t know. You’re usually the only crazy to knock on my door at random ti
mes.” She continues the stage whisper, adding to the tension.

  “Are you going to answer it?”

  “Do you think I should?” Our back and forth is interrupted by another knock, louder this time.

  “Well, I don’t think whoever it is believes we’re not here.” We’re still standing in the hall with the lights out. The landing light from the second floor casts a wedge of yellow down the stairs so we’re not in pitch black.

  “I’m not going to answer it. There’s nobody who should be knocking at this hour.” We head to the kitchen, but as I turn, Phil’s voice booms from outside.

  “Jessica, open up!” The glass slips through my fingers and shatters across the floor, cracking the silence in the house.

  “What’s he doing here?” Jess struggles to keep her voice to the whisper of earlier.

  “I don’t know. I was hoping he didn’t know where I’d gone.”

  She looks at me, and even through the dark, I can see her scowl. “Well, Izzy… think about it. Where else would you go?”

  “Jessica, answer the fucking door!”

  “Oh, he did not just start swearing at me.” She marches past me, slams the safety chain across and jerks the door open the two inches the chain allows. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you have any idea what time it is?” I stay back in the shadows, my heart thumping in my chest.

  “I don’t care. She’s here. Isn’t she. I know she is. She wouldn’t go anywhere else.”

  “Who and what are you talking about?”

  Phil tries to shove past Jess, but she blocks the doorway and doesn’t budge an inch. “Izzy, I know you’re hiding here. I got your message.” He jeers. “Giving back your rings doesn’t mean anything. When you come out, I’ll be waiting for you. Trust me.” He growls out his threat, spiking my already pounding heart rate.