Heartsong (Garden Falls, TN Book 3)

by Allie Kay

  “Keep kicking, kid. Boys and girls can both do whatever they want. There might be girls’ teams and boys’ teams, but sports are for everyone. You won’t turn into a girl, promise.”

  Joy came into the yard and came over to sit beside me. “Hey,” she whispered as she sank down on the concrete, careful to leave a bit of space between us. A cloud of sadness followed her, lurking in the air, waiting for its chance to drown us.

  “Hey.” I held my hand out to her. She ignored it. “Back to that, are we?” I withdrew my hand.

  “Jack…”

  I waited while she gathered her thoughts. She watched Mateo kick the ball around the yard and happiness pushed the sadness out of her eyes. One second she was sad, the next happy. When she looked back at me, the two emotions seemed to war for her attention, like two lovers vying for one girl.

  “Last night—”

  “Was amazing and I’m only sorry it was interrupted.”

  “That’s not what I was going to say.” She frowned.

  “It’s what you should say.” I wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her close. “Because it’s the truth.”

  “Jack…” Despite her protests, she leaned into my touch.

  “Shh. Don’t analyze it too much. We moved too fast. I got it. I’m good with slowing down, but I’ll be damned if we are going to just pretend there’s nothing between us.”

  “We hardly know each other.”

  “So, we learn.”

  She sighed. “What about Ricky?”

  “We both have pasts. Right now, we deal with yours and then one day we will have to talk about mine.” I brushed my lips across her forehead. “But for today, can we just enjoy spending the day together? See what happens?”

  Her eyes darkened with conflict. She wanted to argue, to deny my words. My heartbeat held, awaiting the words that might shatter me.

  She closed her eyes tight and a single tear leaked out. “Okay,” she whispered. “But I want it on record that I need to take a step back, get my life sorted.”

  “Duly noted.”

  She lay her head against my shoulder. “How do you keep doing that?”

  “Doing what?” I twirled a lock of her hair around my finger. My heart rate fluctuated, raising and lowering with each word that crossed her lips.

  “Making me forget I need to distance myself from you.”

  “Hmm…” I considered her words carefully. While I had tried to persuade her to stay here in my arms, I hadn’t forced the issue in any way. I’d just presented her with a valid option besides running. “I don’t think it’s me. I think you are content right where you are. You just haven’t allowed yourself to accept that yet.”

  “I shouldn’t accept it. I’m a married woman and I shouldn’t be having feelings about a man who is not my husband.” She looked out at Mateo, and a hint of a smile appeared on her face, contradicting her serious tone.

  “He lost the right to call you his wife.” I cupped her cheek in my hand. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. Nothing we’ve done is wrong.”

  “Will it look that way in the eyes of the court?” She bit her lip. “I’m going to file for divorce on Monday. If he brings you up…”

  “Tell them the truth. You have an amazing new neighbor who has the potential to be more, but you’ve held back.” I shrugged. “It’s the truth, if slightly skewed in our favor.”

  Poking me in the ribs, she cuddled into me. “It is very true.”

  “In all honesty, if it comes up, you should probably say as little about me as you can.” I sighed. “My past… Well, you know I was a drunk, right?”

  She nodded.

  I stood up and paced in front of her for a moment before I built up the courage to tell her. Even when I did tell her about my past, I stuck to generics and left some things out.

  “Drinking got me in trouble and I did some time over it.”

  Okay, I left a lot out.

  “Oh…” She looked up at me and surprised me when there was not even a touch of censure in her eyes. “Thank you for telling me.”

  I don’t know how she could thank me for such an abbreviated recap of my history. Her mind had to be full of questions. But this story was one that could remain in the shadows for a little while longer.

  “One day, I’ll tell you the whole story. Not now. Not today. It’s… Well, that’s just not me anymore and I don’t want it to taint this.” I waved my hand between us. “We have enough trying to drive a wedge between us without me adding more.”

  “Okay.” She stood up and pulled me into a hug. “And one day I will tell you everything about my past, instead of just the few highlights I’ve shared.”

  Joy’s past scared me. Probably more than my own… She didn’t want to speak of it, and while one day I knew I’d have to listen to her full story, thankfully, it was not today.

  “Highlights? I’d call those lowlights. Was there something worse?” Running my fingers along her jaw, I tilted her head up until she met my gaze. “Worse than rape?”

  She shook her head. “No, lowlights is probably a better word. That was by far the worst night.”

  “Good.” Relief coursed through my every cell. “So, I did a thing. And while I don’t think it was a bad thing, not sure you’ll agree.”

  She gave me an unreadable look. “A thing?”

  “I invited some friends over. To meet you.”

  “Mama, Mr. Jack, if y’all’s done kissing, can one of you kick the ball with me? I’m getting soooo bored kicking it all by myself.”

  “Are we done kissing?” Joy asked, a bright smile crinkling her eyes up.

  “Not by a long shot,” I murmured, lowering my lips to hers.

  The peaceful quiet of the yard was interrupted by the loud roar of a sporty car. Then the slam of two car doors.

  “I think my friends are here.”

  Joy looked down at her outfit and sighed. “You could have warned me you meant right now.”

  “You look great.” I hugged her quickly before heading over to the gate. “Hey, we are back here in the yard.”

  20

  Joy

  I ran my hand over my hair, smoothing it as best I could before Jack’s friends entered the yard. I wished he’d given me more notice. I wished I’d dressed nicer today.

  Had I even brushed my hair?

  When the couple walked through the gate, I don’t know what I’d been expecting, but they were not it.

  The man towered over Jack. I remember him mentioning his best friend being massive, but I’d really thought it was more of a joke than seriousness. But no, he hadn’t exaggerated in the slightest.

  The woman, however, was extremely petite. Her long red hair ruffled slightly in the wind, but it didn’t distract at all from her beauty. Her belly had the roundness of pregnancy, second trimester if my guess was correct.

  Their differences should have made them look incompatible, but somehow, they worked. Maybe it was the gentle hand the giant man laid on his delicate wife’s shoulder. Maybe it was the tender smile that turned up her lips at that touch. The palpable trust that resonated between the pair… But they clearly belonged together.

  And I wanted that sort of love with a longing that brought tears to my eyes.

  “You okay?” Jack asked, walking over with a concerned look on his face.

  “Mmmhmm. The wind blew some dust in my eye,” I covered, but poorly if the look in his eyes was any indicator.

  “Come meet my friends.” He waved a hand at the new arrivals. “Joy, this is my best friend, Sean, and his better half, Talia.”

  Sean laughed. “Better half?”

  “Okay, prettier half.”

  “I wasn’t arguing the better. Just the half.”

  Talia elbowed her husband, hard. She met my gaze and rolled her eyes. “Ignore him. I can’t take him anywhere. It’s nice to meet you. We are going to be great friends, I just know it.”

  Sean let out an exaggerated sigh. “And just like that, you
’ve been adopted into the Richmond clan. You can fight it, Lord knows I tried. But once one of them claims you, there’s no getting away.”

  Jack laughed, a big booming sound that pulled a chuckle from me too. “Oh, like you honestly tried to get away from Talia.”

  “Oh, he did. I’m just persistent.”

  “Persistent… I’m not sure that’s the word you meant.” Sean bent down and kissed the top of her head. “I think you’re saying it wrong. I think you should pronounce it ‘stub-born.’ You are stubborn.”

  The pretty redhead glared up at her husband who smiled at her, mischief in his gaze. “You can kiss my pregnant behind.”

  Jack was right to invite them. I couldn’t help but laugh at their banter. They seemed like just the sort of people I needed in my life.

  “You boys stay out here and play soccer. I’m hoping Joy will let me borrow her bathroom for a second since Sean’s daughter keeps using my bladder as a trampoline.”

  “Of course.” I waved a hand toward the door.

  Sean grumbled, good-naturedly, “You heard that shit, didn’t you? How she’s my daughter when she’s being a punk?”

  “Watch your mouth around the kid,” Jack said.

  Talia took my arm and headed for the door. “I’m trying to house train him still, he’s a bit resistant, I’m afraid.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “He seems crazy about you though.”

  She sighed. “He is. I’m pretty darn lucky.”

  While she was in the bathroom, I cut us each a slice of pie and started some fresh coffee. I didn’t know if she was a coffee drinker or not, but I needed something to stay busy.

  She came into the kitchen and plopped down into one of my kitchen chairs. “Ooh pie? I’m so hungry. You’d think I hadn’t eaten in a week, even though I only ate an hour or so ago.”

  “Coffee? I have milk and juice if you’d rather?”

  “Coffee’s good.” She took the offered pie and took a big bite. “Oh my, so good. Mmm.”

  It was a bit embarrassing for some reason to see her enjoy the pie so much. I had never considered myself as more than an average baker, subpar cook. But the way she savored that pie made me think I must have grossly underestimated myself.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured after gobbling down half the slice. “I didn’t eat for a month because of morning sickness, but then I found my appetite and can’t stop.”

  “No, enjoy. I have more.” I smiled.

  “Oh, I couldn’t. I’ll be as big as Sean.” She polished off the last of the pie and took a sip of her coffee. “Now that I can think about something other than my bladder and my stomach, let’s talk about you.”

  I winced. “Do we have to?”

  “Yup.” She tilted her head to the right and considered me carefully. “We have a lot in common, you know.”

  “We do?” I couldn’t see a thing.

  “Jack might have told me a bit about your ex.”

  My heart rate picked up. “What did he tell you?”

  “Your ex broke your son’s arm. He hurt you, more than once.”

  My coffee mug fell from my hand, hot liquid pouring down the side of the table into my lap. I’d told Jack that in confidence, how could he just share my private—so private— details like that.

  “Oh, please, don’t be upset.” She grabbed the towel from beside the sink and mopped up the coffee. “Please don’t be upset with him. I should have approached this more delicately, I’m so sorry. My husband’s bluntness must be rubbing off on me.”

  She tossed the towel in the sink. “Do you want to go change, take a second to regain your emotions? I understand if you do. I was abused too.” Tears brightened her green eyes. “That’s the only reason he told me.”

  I stood and walked to my room without a word. Panic, disbelief, and hurt warred for my attention. I didn’t want to relieve any of my memories with Ricky. I surely didn’t want to believe Jack had been gossiping about me behind my back, but the evidence had just been presented and there was no verdict but guilty. I swallowed down the lump of hurt that whispered he was untrustworthy.

  After a moment, I walked back to the kitchen and sat back down across from Talia.

  “Joy, please believe me when I say he meant no harm, no disrespect, by telling me.” She covered my hand with her dainty one. “I went into Garden and he was cleaning an already clean stock room. Did you know he cleans when he’s upset? If you piss him off, send him my way, I have some floors in need of a good scrub.” She smiled softly, trying to lighten the suffocating darkness in the air.

  “Go on.”

  “He was upset over you. Over how you and your son reacted to him one day. How he scared you. And I cornered him and pushed until it boiled over.”

  “Over the furniture,” I whispered.

  “I believe so.” She nodded. “He wants to be with you. He’s crazy about you. And your little boy.”

  “Mateo’s pretty fond of him too.”

  She rubbed at her stomach. “Give him a little break, okay? He thought you and I might have something in common. I don’t need details other than what he’s already given, if you don’t feel like sharing.”

  “I don’t.” I winced at my own tone. Getting hateful with a pregnant woman I’d just met… that was a new low for me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that as harshly as it came out.”

  “No, I get it. It took me a long time to talk about what happened with Caleb. Even to this day, there are things I’ve never told anyone, not even Sean.” There was a sadness in her eyes that I related to. “There are some things that I’ve shared with the domestic abuse group that meets at the women’s shelter that I may never let anyone else know. I’d like you to go with me. There’s a meeting on Monday morning. You can trust Jack to watch Mateo for a few hours. I’ll send Sean over to help him. Trust me, it helps to talk to someone.”

  “Forgive me for saying this, but how did you ever learn to trust him? Sean, I mean. He could snap you like a twig.”

  She smiled. “Because he protected me. Before he even knew my name, he protected me. Because his every touch is gentle. Once you look past the rough, but sexy, exterior, Sean is really a gentle soul. He has this honesty, this goodness about him that makes you want to be a better person.”

  Sighing, I said, “I want a love like yours.”

  Leaning back slightly in her chair, she laced her fingers together over her baby bump. She studied my face for an eternity before winking at me. “Look outside then.”

  “What? Jack? Oh, he’s sweet and all—”

  “But?”

  “Ricky…”

  “And?”

  “Mateo.”

  She shook her head. “Go look at that man playing with your son and tell me how the hell you can say your son is a dividing factor.”

  I stood and walked over to the picture window overlooking the backyard. Mateo was running, laughing, his high-pitched shrieks of joy carrying inside. “I can’t,” I whispered.

  Coming up behind me, Talia hugged me gently from behind. “Now we are getting somewhere.”

  “How’d you know we aren’t already, you know, a thing?”

  “Sean would have known.”

  I stiffened. “So, Jack would have told him if we…”

  “No, silly. Sean and Jack have been best friends since they were in prison together. He’d read in his body language if there were something. He told me Jack’s in love with you, even if he hasn’t admitted it to himself yet.”

  My heart fluttered at her words.

  21

  Jack

  I loved working Saturday nights behind the bar at Garden. Alcohol flowing like a faucet, tips following just as steadily. Nine o’clock, I took a fifteen minute break to cash out some of the ones that were stuffed to near overflowing in my pockets. When I walked out of the office, whistling because my wallet was two hundred bucks heavier with half the night to go, I didn’t think anything could ruin my mood.

  My moods overall had
been pretty good lately. Hell of a lot better than when I was in solitary confinement with a cast from bicep to hand. I’d never been one that had to have people around to be in a good mood, and would have considered myself something of a loner, but that six weeks in the hole with a busted arm damn near broke me. I’d learned a lot about myself during that period of time. I wasn’t as much of a lone wolf as I’d thought.

  Working in the only club for miles definitely kept me from being isolated. But working with my best friend everyday was the best part. I’d missed that big lug when he’d paroled out and left me behind those bars alone.

  Sean had become the family that I’d lost, his new wife too. And, if I played my cards right, I might be able to expand our little family by a couple more… once I could get Joy to relax a bit anyway.

  A few ideas on how to accomplish that arduous task mulled around in my brain, while I tried to decide which was the most promising. Slow and steady seemed the name of the game. So, I had to be patient, had to push the boldest of those ideas to the far recesses of my mind. Start with the low-key moves, with just being there for her, for Mateo.

  Not that being there for them was a hardship. The kid was growing on me as much as his mama was. Something about that little guy made me want to be a better man, for sure. It felt oddly right though.

  Spying Laney flirting with her favorite customer, I bumped her slightly so that she’d tip into him. She swatted me and walked with me back to the bar. “He’s my boyfriend’s brother, you know,” she said with a sigh.

  “Then why are you flirting?”

  “Something to do.” She shrugged. “Feels nice to have a hot guy’s attention, even if it’s going nowhere. It gets old watching all the women in here fawn over you and Sean.”

  “Over Sean, you mean.”

  “I said what I meant.” She poked me in the ribs and started filling a pitcher of beer.

  I stepped back behind the bar, and Sean nudged me toward the front half. After I poured a couple drinks, a barstool opened up. Momentarily, anyway.