Back to You

by Lauren Dane

  “We were very young.”

  “All of us.” Stacey winked.

  They hung out for another half an hour before both women had to be on their way, Kelly to pick Kensey up and Stacey off to court.

  * * *

  VAUGHAN REALIZED, AS THE four of them ate dinner, passing around platters and bowls, laughing and sharing their day, he’d been missing so much wonderful, normal stuff with his family.

  Guilt hung around his neck like a stone, equally useless. He needed to talk to Ezra or his dad. Someone he could trust to give him good advice. They’d just spent a really nice weekend at home with a movie-and-board-game marathon. He’d been all over the world, seen and done a lot of things, but the days had been the most fun he’d had in recent memory.

  All of this in a period of a week.

  Maddie was headed back to school the following day and he planned to drive to the ranch, pack more appropriately to live with Kelly and his girls long-term. Kelly had offered him the office space above the garage for a music/work space. He’d bring over some of his equipment from his studio at home. Hopefully he’d be able to connect with Ez when he stopped over.

  “Are you excited to go back to school tomorrow, bug?” Kelly asked Maddie.

  “I’m not excited for homework, but I want to see my friends.”

  “I’m excited!” Kensey grinned. “I don’t have to sit next to anyone yucky on the bus when you’re there.”

  Kelly laughed.

  “I know you’ve already been here a week and you probably have to work, but would you stay through next weekend, too, Daddy?” Maddie’s eyes went wide and round and it tore at his heart. “We can see a movie at the theater now that I’m better!”

  They hadn’t really discussed too much with their daughters. He got the feeling Kelly didn’t want to get their hopes up. But each day he’d been there he’d fit a little more. Got more confident at the basics. He already knew how to take out the trash and get the mail. He’d really dug walking with Kensey to the bus stop each day. One of the moms had been a little too friendly, but his daughter had gotten right between them as he’d stepped back and made it clear he didn’t want the attention.

  She’d backed off and it had seemed to Vaughan as if he’d passed some sort of test for Kensey, who’d thrown herself at him happily each morning when he woke her up.

  He liked it a whole lot that she’d stopped being surprised. Kensey knew he’d wake her up. Knew he’d be there to be hugged and kissed.

  It had brought something to life, a deeper need to protect what he had because he was fast getting used to the love and connection he felt every night as he ate at the dinner table with them.

  He looked to Kelly, letting her make the choice about how much to tell them.

  “Your dad is going to be living with us for a while. Cool with you two?” Kelly asked.

  They turned their attention to him, so pretty, faces so open, expressions trusting and full of hope. Resolve strengthened him. He needed to make this happen.

  “I sure like being here to take care of you two. Your mom is nice enough to share the family you three have made with me. Do you think you could teach me all the stuff I need to do to be a better dad? I need your help.”

  Both his daughters flung themselves at him, covering his face with kisses.

  “I’m going to assume that’s a yes.” Kelly smiled at him briefly. An unguarded moment, maybe the first one since they’d laid things on the table a few nights before.

  “I’m glad you two think it’s a good idea.” He wanted to tell them he was there for good, back with them where he should have been all along. But he knew better.

  Not that he planned to fail; he didn’t. But he wanted to show them, not tell them.

  “I bet Sierra’s mom will be happy, too. She likes to look at Daddy.” Kensey made a face at Kelly.

  Vaughan didn’t want to hold his breath, or make it weird, but he was relieved when Kelly rolled her eyes, but didn’t seem overly bothered.

  “He is nice to look at.”

  Kensey shifted her attention back to Vaughan, who made a face and she laughed. “Yeah. He has a handsome face and nice eyes.”

  “We have his eyes, too,” Maddie informed her little sister. “Everyone looks at Daddy. Sometimes it makes everything go faster, because they want to make him smile at them.”

  Kelly smirked.

  “Mostly, though, it makes everything take longer because, as Nana says, they lose their wits because he’s so pretty,” Kensey said.

  Kelly’s surprised laughter made Vaughan relax.

  “Your grandmother does have a point. Though she’s quite susceptible to your dad’s charms, too.”

  Danger! He changed the subject. “Hush now.” Vaughan gestured at Kelly as he spoke to the girls. “Look at your mother. Talk about pretty.”

  “The principal ran straight into the flagpole because he was staring at Mom. He had a big bump on his forehead all day.” Maddie wrinkled her nose.

  Clearly Vaughan needed to accompany Kelly the next time she went to school.

  “Your mother is impossible not to look at.” The first time he’d seen her had been at some ridiculous Manhattan shindig. Rock stars and models milling around, drinks in hand, and there she’d been, in this dress—a shining, shimmering gold thing—skimming her body, the material catching the light as she moved. That night she’d looked like an avenging angel; her hair had been slicked back, away from her face. No jewelry, just all that skin, that body and the golden dress.

  “I saw your mom across the room at a party. I wanted to know who she was but didn’t get the chance to meet her that night. And then I saw her in a magazine on the airplane coming home from the East Coast. She was in this dress that looked like a flower.” He could still remember that shot. “I arranged through a mutual friend to get an okay to call her and introduce myself.”

  Kensey and Maddie’s attention had locked on, not often getting those details. Neither of them were old enough to remember their parents being together. Another mistake he needed to make up for.

  “Where did you go on your first date?” Kensey asked.

  “He bought me street meat and we went to a movie afterward,” Kelly answered, a smile in her tone.

  “I’m still not entirely sure what Lost in Translation was about,” Vaughan admitted.

  “Daddy, you bought your date a hot dog?” Maddie shook her head.

  Vaughan thought back to that night. “I know! But luckily, she forgave that error. It was late. Your uncles and I were in New York making a music video.”

  “I was flying to London that following morning for fashion week.”

  He’d followed her, but that part of the story wasn’t necessarily something he’d share with the girls. Not without some heavy editing.

  “I called her and she came down to where we’d been filming. I offered her something way better than meat stewing in water in a cart all day.” She’d shown up from a shoot of her own. Effortlessly beautiful and glamorous. At home in New York on her own in ways he still hadn’t managed when staying in Manhattan.

  He’d expected her to be fussy but found her to be incredibly down-to-earth, even as she managed to dominate the world she worked in. Intense and ambitious even as she could be obsessive and melancholy about her place in the world apart from what she looked like.

  “Don’t impugn street meat that way.” Kelly laughed. “There are days when I’d like nothing more than to get a dog on the way home from work. Don’t worry, girls, he took me to nice places, too.”

  They’d gone to a movie because he hadn’t wanted her to think all he wanted was to get her naked. When, in truth, there was little else he could think about as they sat, side by side in a movie theater at nearly midnight.

  He’d started to kiss her in t
he cab, on the way to her apartment and then there’d been little else but his hands and mouth on her, being inside her, over her, under her, laughing and coming harder than he ever had or had with anyone since.

  “She got on a plane that next morning and I managed to make it a whole day before I was also on a plane to London.”

  Maddie’s attention hadn’t wandered at all. “You chased her?”

  “Your mom was a star when we met. She traveled more than I did. But I liked being around her a lot. Way more than not being around her so yes, I showed up at Heathrow, called her and found myself surrounded by the insanity of fashion week.”

  They’d conceived Maddie in Paris and married a month later in a private ceremony at Kelly’s Manhattan town house.

  “We seen pitchers of you two from back then. Uncle Paddy has lots and lots of pitchers at his house.” Kensey wiped her mouth on her napkin as she finished her dinner.

  “Ugh, Kensey! We saw pictures. You drink from pitchers. You look at pictures,” Maddie said with a very big-sister attitude.

  Kensey’s face was a near perfect imitation of one Kelly had used on Vaughan several times over the past week. Annoyed. Incredulous.

  Kelly clapped her hands and the brewing spat dissipated as they turned to their mother. “Enough walking down memory lane for now.” Kelly stood and began to clear the plates. The girls jumped up to help.

  “Tell us more,” Maddie begged as they began to put away leftovers.

  “Like what?” Kelly asked. “When he called me the first time I thought he was actually your uncle Damien. I said no, but I was sad because I thought his brother was actually pretty cute.”

  Kensey giggled behind her hands.

  “I realized she thought I was the wrong brother right as I was hanging up. I clarified which brother I was and then she said I could call her the next time I was in New York.”

  “Tough luck for Uncle Damien, I guess.”

  Vaughan agreed. He kissed Maddie’s head as he brought the last of the dishes over from the table. “I’m going to take the trash out when you’re done in here.”

  Kelly looked up from where she stood at the sink. “Okay, thanks. Can you move the clothes from the washing machine to the dryer, please?”

  He realized he was actually excited to be asked. “You got it.”

  * * *

  BY THE TIME he came back downstairs, the girls met him as they came up.

  “Don’t forget to brush your teeth before your showers,” Kelly called out.

  “Thank you,” he said, pulling Kelly into a hug he hadn’t planned but didn’t stop.

  She didn’t pull away, instead hugging him back, which felt amazing on a whole new level.

  “Why are you thanking me? Did I buy your favorite laundry soap?” She smiled at him, nearly shy as she pulled away and went back to what she’d been doing.

  “For letting me be part of this.” He motioned between them and then at the house. He wasn’t sure how to explain how it felt to be involved in their family. Being a dad whose kids visited wasn’t the same. And now he understood that in a new, more painful way.

  Kelly turned from the dishwasher, drying her hands. Her smile went tender. He hadn’t seen that smile directed at him in a decade. He grabbed the counter as it hit him.

  “Oh,” she whispered, stepping close enough to briefly cup his cheek. “Guilt does you no good. Not right at this moment.”

  “You looked at me just now.” Vaughan cleared his throat. “It’s been a long, long time. I missed it. Like I missed eating dinner with you and making lunches and going to the doctor.” He shrugged, the weight of it stealing his words.

  He’d grasped how much he’d missed, but the reality of it being his own fault, the real loss because he’d never get it back, really hit him. Those years as his daughters had grown up, it had been Kelly and the girls struggling and triumphing and he’d visited and thought it was enough.

  But it wasn’t. It hadn’t been. And he hadn’t even known it.

  She paused, clearly thinking and then swallowed hard. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad it makes the girls happy. I’m glad it’s making you happy. It makes me happy, too.”

  Otis Redding came on and he grinned. “‘I’ve Been Loving You.’” He held out a hand. “This calls for a dance. It’s meant to be. You can’t fight fate, Kel.”

  She took his hand, letting him pull her close, snug against his body, his arm around her waist as they began to sway.

  * * *

  KELLY TEETERED ON the edge and once he’d thanked her she’d let go. Let herself fall into that place that had always fit with Vaughan.

  She’d ached for this. For years and years after she lost it. At times Kelly had wondered if that ability had died along with her marriage. And it was right here, all along.

  Tipping her face up, she let herself be kissed.

  She’d expected something slow and gentle. But what she got seared her. Stunned her as the raw, sexual heat of his mouth, his tongue and teeth destroyed every last bit of her remaining defenses against him.

  This was how he’d kissed her that first date that had spanned two days. The need of it flowed through her, barreled straight to her nipples.

  Kelly gave in and slid her fingers up and into his hair, tugging to keep him close.

  He growled into her mouth, pressing himself closer.

  He didn’t apologize for his hard-on and she didn’t apologize for how much she wanted him to take her right then and there, in her kitchen.

  The song ended as he spun her, backing her into the pantry, closing them both inside.

  And then his hands were inside her shirt, his bare skin against hers. Need raced along the wake of his fingertips. She hissed at the wave of sensation. He bit her lip, tugging. She tried to keep her groan as quiet as possible, in the back of her mind, listening for the water upstairs to turn off.

  Not so much she wasn’t able to copy his movements, her palms sliding all over his back underneath his T-shirt.

  “Jesus,” he gasped into her mouth.

  “Yeah.” She moved closer, taking his mouth again briefly until she kissed down his neck. He grabbed two handfuls of her ass and held her close, grinding into her until she started to see little white stars against her closed eyelids.

  Holy cow, was it even possible to come from a clumsy, furtive dry hump like she was back in high school?

  The water turned off upstairs and she groaned. “Wait,” Kelly managed to say, her hand on his chest to hold him back when he went in for another round. “The girls.” The other shower turned off. “Both are out of the shower. I need to be out there where I can hear if someone slips. They’ll come down here anyway. You promised to sing to them.”

  He leaned his forehead to hers, breathing hard. “Give me a minute or two.” He took her hand and put it against his cock, through his jeans.

  Kelly squeezed a few times. “You’re going to need a lot more than a minute so don’t get cocky.”

  “Are you trying to kill me?”

  “No. I plan to ride you until you sweat,” she whispered before she nipped his earlobe.

  He grabbed her close again. “You’ll pay for that.”

  “Can’t wait.” Still laughing, they spilled from the pantry.

  He headed off, the garbage bag and recycling in his arms. “I’ll be back, uh, as soon as this is less noticeable.”

  As long as it came back when she needed it later, she was just fine with that.

  CHAPTER TEN

  HE SHOWERED AND waited for the girls to fall asleep. Stupid, as he’d been going to Kelly’s room for a nightly chat and glass of wine for a few days and he hadn’t hid it.

  He planned a lot more than a chat and some booze and he had zero intention of walking back to his roo
m and jerking off at one in the morning, either.

  She opened to his knock, wearing sleep shorts and a tank top. Without a word, he went inside, smiling when he heard the click of her door being locked.

  “I’ve never snuck into a bedroom to keep my kids from hearing me sex up their mom before,” he murmured when she got close enough to touch.

  “Sex? I thought we were going to play a rousing game of Uno.”

  He barked a laugh. “I played Uno last night after I left your room. There’s only so much Uno a man wants to play.”

  Her reply was a slow raise of her right eyebrow and a smile that sent his system into overdrive.

  “Damn it, you’re so beautiful.” He fisted his hands a few times to conquer the shakes. “You give me butterflies.”

  She took his hand, tipping it, bending to brush a kiss over his palm. “That makes two of us. But I think between the two of us we could work something out. We’ve done it a time or two. It’s like riding a bike.”

  One-handed, he pulled his shirt up and over his head. Her eyes went wide and then settled half-mast as she took him in. “Damn, I like whatever it looks like you’re thinking.”

  “I saw the nipple ring in a video a few years back.” She stepped close enough to run covetous hands all over his arms and chest. “New ink, too.”

  He looked down at the chest piece she meant. A heart with wings. Maddie’s and Kensey’s names had been interwoven.

  “I knew about it. The media loves to talk about you.” Kelly traced over their daughters’ names. “But obviously I had no real reason to get this close until now. This is gorgeous work.”

  “Thanks. You should take your shirt off, too. That’s only fair.”

  She whipped her tank top off, tossing it behind her somewhere.

  “You have ink, too.”

  “Mine is on television a lot less,” she said, not keeping the smile from her tone. “Crocus. A reminder that even in the dead of winter there’s beauty just around the corner.”

  He licked over the purple and white blooms inked just to the left of a spectacular breast.