by Thomas Gomez
A few seconds passed before he turned off the shower. He walked out of the bathroom wearing a mere towel around his waist. His torso was drenched in water and he used the towel he held in his hand to begin drying off. He looked beautiful as the light reflected off the streams of water running down his body.
“Good morning,” he said smiling.
“Morning,” I said hoarsely.
“You know with all that went on last night I completely forgot to give you your gift,” he said as he continued to dry his torso leaving his hair still drenched.
“You know, you didn’t have to get me anything. Don’t you think the party was enough?”
“Well… I wouldn’t exactly say it was enough,” he said smiling.
“Ugh, you spoil me too much.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he teased as he walked toward the closet. “I kept mine in here because I wanted you to open it apart from everyone else’s.” He came back out of the closet holding a medium sized box wrapped in light gray wrapping paper. He handed me the box and I noticed it had a large purple bow in the upper right hand corner and in the center it read:
‘To the best friend a guy could have, happy birthday Henry.’
I highlighted the word friend and then remembered what I had discovered the night before. I was more in love with him than I thought I was and he had no idea.
I began to unwrap the gift and found what it was hiding. Under the wrapping paper was a box that I was shocked to see. John had gotten me a brand new laptop and it was perfect. Just two weeks earlier my laptop had broken and John knew exactly which one to get me without having to ask.
“So do you like it?”
“Do I like it? I love it!” I exclaimed.
“I knew you would,” he laughed.
“Oh gosh, this is absolutely perfect.”
He flashed a smile as I jumped off the bed to hug him. “You’re the best.”
“Well, I don’t know about the best,” he laughed.
“Don’t be so modest.”
He walked back into the closet and came back out in a fresh pair of boxers as he finally began drying his drenched hair. I walked out to the kitchen, which was just past the living room, and asked if he was hungry.
“I’m starving,” he stated as he walked in behind me.
“All right, I’ll go ahead and make us some breakfast.”
“Great, thanks!” John left the kitchen to go watch TV.
After about twenty minutes I called him into the dining room and his eyes grew when he saw all the food on the table. I made him a big plate and he seemed to be very happy with it. John was a terrible cook so he usually went out to eat or ate frozen foods.
“Thank you so much. I can’t even remember the last time I had a real home cooked meal.”
“You’re welcome, but it was the least I could do since you let me stay the night.”
After we finished eating I went back into the room and got dressed. I began thinking about last night’s discovery. I wasn’t sure how I could be so in love with him. He was my best friend and had always been just that. I wasn’t sure why but it made me feel uncomfortable to think about it. I grabbed my belongings and left the room.
John was sitting down in the living room again watching TV. I looked over to the table by the door where everyone had left their gifts.
“I’ll come by later to pick up everything okay?”
“You’re leaving already?”
“Yeah, I have to get ready for work,” I said sadly.
“Don’t be so glum about it, we can hang out tonight,” he said laughing.
“All right,” I said as I gave him a hug, “see you later then.”
I thought more about my realization on my way to work. I couldn’t figure out what exactly was bugging me. I had already known I liked him but realizing I loved him was something entirely different.
I sent him a message thanking him for everything he’d done for me as I got out of the car. I didn’t receive a reply and I knew when he did reply that I would already be working. I was never allowed to check my phone during work so I would have to wait until I got out to see his reply.
Hours passed as I waited for the work day to end. I was distracted the entire time because I couldn’t get John off my mind. I realized I had to figure out what was bugging me before I met up with him later. Finally the work day ended and I was free. I found myself nearly running to the car. Once I got in the car I noticed I had one unread message on my phone.
‘You’re welcome for everything and I’m glad we got the chance to talk last night. Call me when you get out of work and maybe we can have dinner together.’
I took a minute to debate whether I should accept his invitation or not. Finally I decided to call him.
“Hey John, about dinner tonight, I can’t make it, but maybe some other time.”
“Awe, that sucks, I was really looking forward to it,” he replied.
“Yeah, sorry…”
“It’s okay. Well I’ll see you later then, bye.”
“Bye,” I responded.
I knew I had to figure all this out but I also knew I couldn’t do it on my own. I had to bring Sam into it and she was exactly the person I wanted to avoid. She was the main reason for all of this but I had to call her anyway.
“Hello?” She answered.
“I need your help with something,” I responded.
“Okay, with what?”
“John,” I answered.
“All right go ahead.”
“No, not over phone, I’m coming over okay?”
“Okay.”
Even after what she’d done at the party I still wasn’t sure whether I should be mad at her or not. But if anyone knew John as well as I did it would be Sam so I had to resort to her for help.
I finally reached her house and knocked on the door.
“Hey Henry, come in,” she said as she answered the door.
I walked in and sat down on the couch in her living room.
“So what exactly is so urgent that you had to come over to talk about?” She asked.
“Well…,” I sighed, “I took all of what you said at the party into consideration. Last night I was able to realize that, as much as I hate to admit it, you were right. I am in love with John.”
“Ha-ha, wow! I can’t believe it took you this long to realize that,” she mocked.
“Are you going to help me or mock me?” I asked harshly.
“Calm down, I’m just teasing you. Now what exactly is the problem with this? I don’t see how you loving him can make anything any different.”
“That’s exactly why I’m here. I need help so I can stop feeling so weird around him. I don’t want him to notice anything’s changed.”
“Okay, well you said you didn’t feel like this until after you realized you were in love with him, right?”
“Right,” I answered.
“All right well maybe you just feel like this because now that you know you love him you want him more? You probably noticed how much you need to be with him.”
“Really, that’s all you’ve got?”
“I’m trying Henry, but you’re not exactly the easiest book to read!” She remarked.
“Okay sorry, continue.”
“Maybe you just found it harder to go on living life watching him live happily with other girls? I mean, it probably hurts you more to see him happy without you now that you know how you truly feel.”
“Humph, so how am I supposed to stop myself from feeling that way?”
“I don’t know, Henry. That’s something you’re going to have to figure out on your own, sorry.”
“It’s all right, at least you helped.”
“Wait, have you talked to John about this?” She asked curiously.
“No, are you crazy?” I questioned.
“Maybe, or maybe I just think he deserves to know. Wouldn’t you want to know if the situation were reversed?”
“I guess
I would, but still, I can’t tell him. Who knows how he’ll take it.”
“I guess you have a point there, but I would still tell him. If he’s the friend you say he is then he won’t do anything to hurt you,” she stated.
“Yeah, I guess. Well I’m going to head home now so I can think this through. Hopefully the awkwardness is just a stage.”
“Hopefully, but I guess you’ll know when that time comes,” she spoke as she walked me to the door.
“Yeah, I suppose. Thanks for helping me.”
“You’re welcome.”
I headed home to think about what she’d told me. Tomorrow was Saturday which meant no work for me or him. It made me nervous to think about that since he’d probably call to see if I’d want to hang out with him.
I felt bad trying to evade him. Normally we would just hang out, no questions asked. But now that I felt differently about him, I was avoiding him. I didn't want to start pushing him away.
I entered my apartment and walked into the kitchen. I made myself a quick dinner and sat in silence while I ate. I was lost in thought, trying to figure everything out. It didn't have to be different, but I was causing it to be. I wanted that to change. I wanted normalcy again.
Once I finished my dinner I headed to my bedroom. I stripped down to my boxers and climbed into bed. Thoughts were shuffling in and out of my mind. I grew very tired as I drifted into thought. My eyes began to close. I was nervous for tomorrow because I knew I would have to face John in the morning.
Confrontation
I awoke to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I forced myself out of bed, and slowly crept over to the reading table at the other end of my room. I looked at the screen and was shocked to see that it was John. I realized I would have to deal with it at some point, but I didn’t feel quite as prepared as I wished I were. I decided to answer….
“Good morning,” I spoke attempting to sound content, though it was apparent it was a charade.
“Good morning? Did you just wake up because it’s twelve-thirty?”
“What!”
“Ha-ha, yup it’s twelve all right,” he teased.
“Wow, I can’t believe I slept-in. What time did you get up?”
I tried to create as much small talk as possible hoping to evade any potential plans he might have had in mind.
“Seven, but I didn’t have anything to do so I grabbed a cup of coffee and then went on a morning jog down the beach.”
“It must be convenient having a beach right outside your building.”
“Yeah it is. I love the view; it’s stunning. The best thing about my condo is that I can sit out on the balcony and watch the sun set over the horizon.”
It sounded so perfect that I just couldn’t help but imagine him and me sitting out on the balcony watching the sun set, his arms, gently but tightly, wrapped around my waist. The very idea of being wrapped in his arms made me feel secure, almost as if I belonged there.
“Wow… that does sound beautiful,” I commented.
“Yeah it is… but anyway, how about we go out for lunch today, and then maybe hang out in the park or watch a movie?” Those were the exact words I hoped wouldn’t come out of his mouth.
I couldn’t think of an answer right away. I was worried something would happen while we were together or that he’d find out about my true feelings. After a moment of silence he spoke again.
“Are you still there?” He asked.
“Oh yeah, sorry… I’d love too.” I decided not to turn him down for the second time in a row.
“Great now go get ready and I’ll be over there in five minutes, okay?”
“Okay that sounds great, but if I’m still in the shower just go ahead and let yourself in. You have the spare key right?”
“Of course I do,” he answered.
“Okay great, see you then, bye.”
I was so nervous. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel when I’d see him. I was hoping that no matter how I acted he wouldn’t realize something was different and begin questioning me. I didn’t think I’d be able to tell him the truth.
I took longer in the shower than I had anticipated. I walked out of the bathroom in a mere towel and noticed him sitting on the couch just before me. I was so startled that I jumped backward and, to my surprise, I had jumped back so hard that my towel fell off faster than I could grab it. I was quickly overwhelmed with embarrassment, and my cheeks grew bright red. I instantly bent over, picked up the towel, and placed it back over my bare body.
“Please tell me you didn’t just see that!” I yelled, although it was pointless since he had been staring at me with pure shock mounted upon his face.
“I didn’t see anything,” he said sounding so sarcastic you’d have to be dumb to believe it.
“You’re lying! I can tell by the sound of your voice!”
“No really I didn’t,” he exclaimed.
“I don’t believe you!” I glared.
“I promise I didn’t…” he spoke sounding sincere.
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent,” he smiled.
I sighed as I took a moment before answering, “Okay, good.”
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” He spoke as he walked toward me. “We’re best friends and just because I saw you without-” I interrupted.
“So you did look! I can’t believe you would lie to my face like that! Ugh, I do not want to talk to you right now,” I yelled becoming frustrated.
“It’s not my fault! I couldn’t resist. You act like you wouldn’t have looked if I dropped my pants,” he spoke attempting to hide his laughter.
“I wouldn’t have.” Evidently I was lying.
“Oh really,” he said sarcastically. He had the biggest smirk on his face as reached down to the lining of his pants as if he were about to test me.
I grabbed his hand, “Don’t mess with me! You know I don’t lie to you,” I exclaimed laughing, and clearly lying once again. Secretly I wish he had pulled them off but I wasn’t sure how I’d react if he did.
“Okay fine, I wasn’t really going to anyway,” he smiled.
“Yeah sure you weren’t, and please keep this little moment to yourself.”
“I will, I promise.”
“Okay good,” I glared.
Finally dressed, I returned to him sitting in the living room waiting for me. As we were walking out I began speaking.
“So where are we going for lunch?” I asked.
“Hmm… How about you choose?”
“You already know I’m going to choose my favorite place,” I smirked.
“Ha-ha, okay I like it there anyway.”
We were almost to his car, and the whole time we walked in silence. I was quite happy about that part though, because I was still too nervous to get my thoughts straight. I smiled at him as I got in the car, hoping he wouldn’t question my silence. Even though I was worried about what could happen, I felt happy to be there with him. I then realized I had to do whatever I could to make sure our friendship stayed within good terms. I wasn’t sure how I would do that but I knew I had to. And it all starts when I finally gather up enough courage to confront him about how I felt.
It didn’t take too long for us to finally arrive at the diner. It was the same diner he’d brought me to for my birthday. We quickly found a parking space and pulled in.
It wasn’t long before we were seated and we did so without saying anything yet again. We ordered our food and it arrived soon after. I couldn’t take the pain of waiting much longer and at that moment I did what I later considered rash.
“Hey, um, about the party…” I hesitated.
“What about it?”
“You know what, never mind it’s nothing,” I lied.
“What is it?” He asked curiously.
“It’s nothing let’s just eat.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” I evidently lied once again.
I hated myself for doing that. I must ha
ve subconsciously assumed I was ready and began to speak on impulse. I couldn’t seem to stop such inevitable actions when I was with him, as if I were at his mercy. I wish I could, because now he had reason to believe something was wrong.
He sat there staring at me with wide curious eyes that only seemed to make me more nervous. I wasn’t sure how to tell him that there was nothing going on with me. I was never any good at lying to him. After a few minutes, I decided to go ahead and give him the news. I had no other choice but to tell him what was on my mind since I could not lie to him. I quickly prayed that it would be fine and began to speak in a heavy voice that seemed overwhelmed with fear.
“I‒It’s not anything really…” I held a crooked smile on my face as I attempted to lie; though he could obviously hear the slight stutter coming from behind my already fear-filled voice.
“Don’t lie to me, come on just say it. You know you can tell me anything,” he smiled.
“Well…” all my nerves began to tremble and my voice seemed unsteady, “…it’s kind of something… important. I’m not so sure how to say it and, to be honest, I’m not even sure if I should say it. But I suppose it’ll have to come out sooner or later.”
“Okay…” he seemed worried.
“The night of the party, when I was talking to the girls they pointed out something I wish they wouldn’t have. Well, I guess you would remember how they played match maker that night,” we chuckled. “They all kept saying how they thought I was in love with you and I kept denying it. Although that night, while you were sleeping, I sat there examining the signs they pointed out to me and it was then that I realized… well, John I am in love with you.” I couldn’t bear to look at him and be crushed when he rejected me, so I stared down at my plate.
He was quiet for quite some time, so I looked up to him in curiosity. He sat there vacantly staring at me. He slowly opened his mouth as if to speak, but then shut it.
“Please say something,” I pleaded while fighting back the tears that were about to start.
“I‒I don’t know what to say. I don’t feel the same way,” he stated quietly and slowly.