Regenerate

by Emily Goldthwaite

  We start weaving in and out of trees. “You have a re-router? How?”

  He pats the left sleeve of his shirt. “Yes, I do. I made it as soon as I got here.”

  Is that why he’s been hanging out with us? “I don’t understand why you did it. What was the point of killing all the fish?”

  He rolls his neck like the irritation of my ignorance is wearing on him. “The fish were being used by the Organizers to poison you.”

  I glare at the back of his head. “That’s stupid. Why would they want to kill us?”

  He snorts at my words and guides me around a particularly tricky pass of thorny bushes and low branches. “It wasn’t lethal; that would be stupid. It was a neuropathic disruptor. I needed you off of it so you could think clearly, remember stuff, and feel pure emotion.”

  Think clearly, my foot. I’m so confused right now my head is practically spinning. “Why would the Organizers want to mess with our minds in the first place?”

  “The toxin keeps you GAPs docile, compliant, and taking less risks. It also helps suppress memories that hold strong emotion so they won’t cause upset. Haven’t you noticed how edgy and up and down you’ve all been lately?”

  Today at lunch flashes in my memory and my jaw drops. He’s right. Everyone has been all over the place emotionally. “Why haven’t you been more on edge?”

  He looks back at me with a smile. “I’m always on the edge.”

  Of driving me insane! “Meaning what?”

  His smile turns to an eye roll and he sighs. “Averi, why do you think I don’t eat meat and dairy?”

  Oh, wow, that makes sense now . . . except for that last part. “Why not dairy?”

  “They use a fish fat byproduct to make the dairy richer and ensure you’re getting enough of the toxin to keep things smooth around here.”

  Lander suddenly stops dead in his tracks. He squeezes my hand, hard and urgent.

  I stop as well. “What’s wrong?” I whisper.

  He turns a small circle, his eyes scanning the darkened forest around us. “Something’s not right,” he whispers back.

  My eyes dart around too, though I have no idea what I’m looking for.

  “I’ve gotta get you farther away from here. We need to keep moving,” he says, taking a step away.

  “You’re not taking her anywhere,” says a male voice from the shadows nearby.

  I jump and Lander pulls me behind himself. “Come out and show your face.”

  “We could say the same to you, Lander,” says another voice opposite the first. He sounds a lot like Jett.

  The first person steps out from the shadows. “Raxtin!” I gasp. “What are you doing out here?”

  Jett steps out as well.

  Raxtin scowls at me. “No, Averi, what are you doing out here?”

  He sticks his chin in Lander’s direction. “Do you always sneak off with him at night like this?”

  The accusation in his voice infuriates me, as if I were some skanky cheat.

  “Don’t talk to her like that,” snaps Lander. “This is none of either of your business, so stand aside.”

  “You whisking away our friend in the middle of the night under a false pretense is entirely our business,” says Jett.

  Lander takes a step back, closer to me.

  “Don’t be complete morons,” says Lander. “It isn’t safe for us to stand out here talking like this. We have to keep moving.”

  My pulse is thumping in my ears. “What’s going on, guys? What are any of you talking about? What false pretense?”

  “Your boyfriend isn’t who he says he is,” sneers Rax.

  My fist balls at his tone, and I try to jump out from behind Lander to slug him. Lander holds fast to my other hand, keeping me back, and Jett jumps between Rax and me.

  Jett clears his throat. “I got curious about our newest friend here, so I hacked in to find his transfer records. He doesn’t have any records… at all. I couldn’t find his name in any database, anywhere.”

  I yank my hand free of Lander’s, or maybe it’s that he lets me go. Then I take a step back and to the side of him.

  He doesn’t face me, but keeps his glare focused on Jett and Rax.

  My heart is pounding like thunder in a lightning storm.

  “What are you guys doing out here?” says Lander. “How did you find us?”

  “We followed you,” says Raxtin, but he’s looking at me. His shoulders rise and fall like a bear preparing to charge. “Jett called me over earlier and showed me, and once we ran out of options to search, we decided to confront you about it.

  “But when we walked up to your building, what do we see? Averi and you sneaking off into the dark.” Raxtin looks like he is all but shaking with rage.

  Man, I want to punch him right now. Even if we were doing whatever it is he thinks we were going to do, it’s none of his business! He doesn’t own me.

  Jett turns to me. “Averi, what are you doing running off with him? Didn’t you get the alert?”

  The word catches my attention, and I let my gaze break with the seething Raxtin. “I left my Pocket Palm at home. What alert?”

  Jett hands me his and I read.

  Due to water contamination, mandatory, temporary evacuation of all residents is in effect. GAPs will bring a small bag of personals and report to the transport docs by two a.m.

  “You idiot!” shouts Lander, ripping the device from my hand. “You brought your devices?”

  My face feels slack with shock and I turn on him. “Lander, did you know?” My hand shoots out, pointing towards the device in his hands.

  “Give that back,” says Jett making a grab for the Palm.

  Lander pulls it out of reach. “Don’t you know they can track you through this?” He chucks it off into the forest.

  Rax tosses his to Jett. “Here, go find it.”

  Jett starts to dial his device.

  Lander snatches my wrist and pulls me. “Averi, we’ve got to get out of here. Now.”

  “You’re not taking her anywhere,” says Rax, grabbing for my other arm.

  I yank away from both of them. “Someone needs to tell me what’s going on, right now!” I say, pacing back.

  Lander runs a hand through his long wavy hair. “The evacuation is a ruse, Averi. There’s no time to explain how I know. They could be here any second thanks to these blaring idiots. The evacuation is to get you away from your families without a fuss or resistance.”

  I shake my head vigorously. “Who wants to do that? And why?”

  “I’ll explain everything once we are safe, I promise. Just come with me.” Lander’s hands grip the air, his expression tight and desperately urgent.

  Raxtin takes several stomping steps towards me. “No. Averi, you can’t trust him. He’s a liar. Let’s get back to the village before the tram leaves without us.”

  “I got it!” calls Jett. “Let’s go.”

  My breaths are tight and labored. I can feel the asthma taking hold. I look from Lander to my friends and back again. Who do I trust? I know my friends aren’t tricking me, but they might not know everything, either.

  Lander holds out his hand to me. “Averi, it’s your call to make. He’s right, you have no reason to trust me. But I’m telling you, if you go back with them now, you may never be allowed to make another choice of your own again. I can’t guarantee your safety, but I can guarantee freedom to choose.”

  Rax steps closer again. “Averi, please, don’t. As long as we keep together we’ll be fine.”

  My eyes slide over to Rax’s tortured expression. “But what if he’s right, Rax? We might not get to say who we’re with.” My heart feels as split as the decision I face. I picture dying of starvation in some remote part of the forest or being eaten by a wild animal. But then I see the memory of Natalia and Chenzo with their new baby, not allowed to hold or cuddle their little one because of procedures and policies. Contrast that to my dad and the warmth in his gaze as he held me, refusing to hand me over to t
he nurse at the hospital.

  I’m ripped from my dilemma by the sound of snarling dogs not far away.

  Lander curses under his breath. “They’ve found us.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “Run!” says Lander.

  Without hesitating, I grab hold of Lander’s hand, and his fingers grip mine firm and tight.

  We take off at full speed through the woods. Rax and Jett are right with us. I guess the threat of snarling canines isn’t the warmest welcome to go towards.

  “Ditch your devices or get away from us,” shouts Lander. “They’re tracking your signals.”

  Jett slips his out of his pocket, but Raxtin stops him. “Jett, come on, let’s lead them away from Averi first.”

  “If you make it away, we’ll meet you at the base of that hill at first light.” Lander points to a looming shadow in the distance.

  “Fine. Keep her safe,” says Rax. He glances around Lander at me, and our eyes meet.

  Even though we’re running and it’s dark out, it’s light enough to see the strong furrow of his brow and the pain etching his face. He doesn’t say anything to me, just gives a firm nod. And with that, they disappear into the darkness.

  Despite the cold, dry wind in my face, my eyes mist up watching them go, risking their freedom for mine.

  Gradually, the sound of the barking dogs and their human companions start to fade. We keep running though.

  The tightness in my chest intensifies, and my breathing becomes more of a wheeze than an actual breath.

  Lander slows us to a stop.

  I instantly stoop over, my hands on my knees, panting for air.

  He puts his hand under my chin, gently turning my face up to look at him. His blue eyes are lit by moonlight and look surreal. “Hey, are you all right?”

  I can hardly think through the fog of breathless panic, but I shake my head. “I can’t—breathe. Lungs—too tight.”

  Lander lets go of me and pulls the pack off his shoulders. In a moment he produces a small, amber bottle with a black rubber top.

  “Here, take a shot of this,” he says, handing me one of Jo’s tinctures.

  I drip it into my mouth, wince at the acrid flavor, and slide onto the ground to wait. Within seconds, my brain starts to clear and the restriction in my lungs eases. I take an easy, deep breath. “Thank you. When did you get that?”

  He replaces it in his bag and doesn’t look at me when he answers, “Jo gave it to me a while ago.”

  While I recover a little more, Lander slips a folded piece of paper from his pocket and opens it.

  I think it’s the one he took from the library the other night. He pulls out a small round object and holds it to the paper, turning himself around like he’s trying to get oriented. Then he stows them back in his pocket.

  “Where are we going?” I ask.

  His hands are planted on his hips, and his expression is solemn. “To a safe house I found.”

  I frown. “I thought we were going to meet up with Rax and Jett at the hill?”

  “We will. But first we need to establish a secure base to work from. It might take a while to find each other, and we don’t want to risk freezing unless we have a place to get dry and warm.”

  I watch his face for deception but don’t see any.

  His eyes fall on me and the firmness of his expression softens. “That was a really brave thing you did back there.”

  I let out a wry chuckle. “No it wasn’t. I was terrified.”

  Lander takes a few steps towards me, closing the distance between us, and crouches down to be eye level with me.

  “All the more reason you were brave. Leaving the safety of your controlled environment and what you’ve always known, for the sake of freedom and choice, is one of the hardest, most courageous things you could’ve done. You really are amazing, Averi.”

  His words melt a fraction of my tension. I want to believe him, to fully trust him, but everything about him seems shrouded in illusions.

  “Lander, back at my pod, you hinted this was about my dad. Was that true, or just a way to get me to come with you?”

  Lander’s head tilts upward and he draws a long breath. “Jo told me your dad’s been looking for you. If you went where the Organizers are trying to send you, there would be no chance of you ever seeing him again.

  “If we stay close enough to Jo’s but far enough from town, maybe the next time he comes to visit your grandma, we can be there. Also, we might find a way to track him. It’s likely a long shot, but at least it’s a shot.”

  I kick at the sticks and pinecones by my feet. “I was hoping you found him, that he was waiting for us.”

  “I was hoping that too. I’m sorry.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Are you able to keep going?”

  I nod, and Lander helps me up and onto my feet.

  He winks at me. “It’ll work out, Averi. We just have to keep trying.”

  “Thanks, Lander,” I say.

  Then off we go into the night.

  The safe house is an old cabin up in the side of the hill, built before the Migration. Most of it is underground except for a small shack-looking structure on top. Underneath, however, is way more advanced than I would’ve expected. It has canned food and water that are still good enough to eat, a power source which, despite being a little archaic, still offers light, and running water.

  In one of the closets we find five backpacks that have some sort of a frame structure inside, loaded with all kinds of supplies and clothes, even shoes. It’s as if someone was ready to head out on a journey at any moment. We take out two of the packs, and tucked behind them in the shadows is a strange, heavy black box no more than six inches in diameter. Its metallic walls are an inch or so thick. We lift off the substantial lid, and inside are two handheld communicators with the word Motorola on them, along with several sets of antique batteries, some of which are little more than a puffy pile of white and turquoise decay.

  “Why do you suppose these are in here?” I ask, lifting one of the coms out and turning it over in my hand.

  He holds up the other one and tests its buttons. “I’m not sure. They’ve got a lot of strange things in here I don’t quite understand.”

  We place them back in the box and put it where it was.

  “How did you find this place, Lander?” I ask as I help set up some winter bedding that was up on a shelf.

  “I found a town map in the old library and was using it to locate a good hideout. In one of the smaller dwellings, I came across this pack.” He points to the one on his back. “It had some supplies in it along with a map that said Peterson Bugout. So I hiked out here and found this place. Seemed like just the thing I was looking for.”

  We climb in to our respective bedrolls and lie down for what’s left of the night. My thoughts won’t stop churning. I shift to get more comfortable, but it’s no use.

  Finally, I turn towards him. “Who are you, Lander? How did you know about them relocating us?”

  He rolls over to look at me and props his head up on his hand. “I’m part of a specially selected group, trained to infiltrate and gain the trust of the local GAPs. Our mission was to become part of the GAP communities around the continent. That way when the relocations happened, we’d be in a position to influence the locals to go along with it as their peers, versus the use of armed force. The Organizers can’t afford a fight. It would cost what precious lives they have left to work with. This was their prevaricated solution to all-out war.”

  The truth burns in my stomach and cheekbones. He was faking, all this time. Was all of it part of his mission? “Why relocate us? Why not just let us live here?”

  Lander purses his lips into a tight line. “You’re not going to like it.”

  I snort. “I haven’t liked it already. Out with it.” I wave a hand for him to proceed.

  He draws a long, deep breath and releases it. “I don’t know all the details. It has something to do with GAPs coming into adulthood and the Gran
ds being mostly all gone. They told us the Lost, and your sense of independence, were starting to get in their way. The Organizers are seizing more control. They’re determined to ensure that GAPs repopulate as effectively as their models show is possible. Where they can, they’ll allow people to choose whom they marry, but if the biology or timing isn’t within the optimum range, they’re positioning themselves to be able to intervene and steer people towards different match-ups or time frames. They don’t want GAPs to realize their involvement, so they needed to move you to a more controlled environment. One that will make their manipulations seem more natural.”

  My hands clamp around my head roll. “That is so wrong! We aren’t animals in a breeding program; we’re people.”

  “You’re a commodity,” he says flatly. Jo called me that the other day. His voice softens. “Don’t you see that? Haven’t you felt that?”

  Emotion chokes my throat and my eyes sting. “Yeah, I guess so. I just thought I was being oversensitive. No one else seemed to mind all the rules and structure.”

  Lander doodles his finger around on the floor. “Averi, you had the rare chance to be loved, really loved, by a parent. Once you feel that, you can always tell the difference, even when you don’t want to.”

  Warmth floods my chest and I ease onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I hear Lander lie down too.

  He keeps talking. It’s nice listening to the sound of his voice in the late hours like this. “I think that’s why you and your dad were a danger to them. That’s why they shut down the recovery centers. They can’t control a family that actually loves each other. That kind of connection is too strong. But families that don’t love and connect simply won’t work. They’re trying to create families with artificial, counterfeit love and superficial connection. Something they can control and that will function well enough.”

  I look over at him in the dim candlelight. “Just like they did in creating the tubers. The Artificial Generation.”

  Lander’s Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows. He keeps his eyes trained on the ceiling. “Yes. Exactly like that.” His voice is a little a stiff.