Adventures of Elegy Flynn

by Chambers, V. J.

  He gave me a sad smile. “I know it’s not.”

  There was a clattering noise, and Kellen stumbled out of the men’s room. He rubbed a hand over his face, looking bleary-eyed and confused. “What happened?”

  “You passed out by the toilet,” I told him.

  “Fuck,” said Kellen, taking a few more uncertain steps out into the bar. “I’m sorry I was so drunk. I feel better now. I’ll go out and take care of the time traveler.”

  “Um, that’s not a problem anymore,” I said, gesturing to the guy who was passed out. “Reese took care of it.”

  Kellen noticed Reese. He cocked his head. “Who are you?”

  “He’s my brother,” I said.

  “I’m a volur,” said Reese.

  “I’m a volur,” said Kellen. “What do we need two volurs for?”

  “Well, you were passed out,” I said, “and so this person came on the television set and Elegy said that you were passed out, so they said—”

  “Fuck,” said Kellen. “The higher-ups know I was that drunk. This sucks.” He scratched the back of his head. “Wait. How is he your brother?”

  “Um, we have the same parents and stuff?” I said.

  “No, I mean...” He squinted at Reese. “Is that why Elegy saved Cathy? For you? Are you sleeping with Elegy too?”

  What?! I looked at Reese. Elegy did sleep with all the volurs, or so she said. If Elegy and Reese were doing it, that was kind of... gross.

  “Too?” said Reese. “Does that mean you’re sleeping with Elegy?”

  “Oh my God,” I said. “Reese, you are not doing that! Elegy isn’t even human. She uses people for fun. You’re going to get hurt.”

  Reese squeezed his eyes shut. “Okay, first of all, Cathy, you don’t know what you’re talking about, so shut up.” He turned to Kellen. “And how long has this been going on?”

  “I don’t know,” said Kellen. “Our timelines are different. When I first met her, she said we’d been fucking for a really long time. But I’ve never been sure if that wasn’t just a line. Did she say something like that to you?”

  “No,” said Reese. “And I’m not, anyway. I mean, not now.”

  “Because you guys don’t work together,” I said. “But when you worked together before, you did?”

  “No,” said Reese. “We’ve never worked together.”

  “So, then, how do you know each other?” I said.

  “Cathy,” said Kellen, “you’ve got to be straight with me. How many volurs have you seen her with?”

  “Only you,” I said. “But the only other volurs I’ve even met have been girls, and I assume Elegy is straight.”

  “Oh yeah,” said Kellen.

  “Definitely,” said Reese at the same time.

  I shook my head disapprovingly at my brother. “I cannot believe you slept with Elegy Flynn. I am losing all my respect for you, and you’re my big brother.”

  “There’s really no chance that she’s ever going to care about me the way I care about her,” said Kellen, looking mournful.

  “So, she doesn’t care about you?” said Reese.

  “She doesn’t care about you either,” said Kellen. “Of course, she did rescue your sister, which is completely unlike her. She never does stuff like that. She doesn’t mess around with fate.”

  Reese made a funny face. “Are you kidding? She’s a complete rebel.”

  “Where am I?” said a voice.

  We all whirled.

  The guy was waking up. I ran over to him and knelt down beside him.

  “Hi,” I said. “We’re the time police, and you caused a time paradox, so we had to bring you in here so that we could fix it.”

  The guy sat up. “What?”

  I tried to smile reassuringly. “Everything will be okay. If Elegy was out here, she’d make you a drink, and she always says that a good drink solves everything.”

  “She does?” said Reese. “That really doesn’t sound like her.”

  “Yeah, she says that all the time,” said Kellen.

  “Who’s Elegy?” said the guy.

  “She’s a Fate,” I said. “See, you messed with the fabric of time when you tried to go back in time and make that girl from your past like you. You can’t do that. You can’t rewrite the past.”

  “The hell I can’t,” said the guy, starting to get to his feet.

  “Whoa,” said Kellen, coming over to intercept him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “What’s your name?” I said, trying to distract him.

  “Billy,” he said.

  “Well, Billy,” I said, “why don’t you come have a seat at the bar, and I’ll make you something. Something simple, like a rum and coke?”

  Billy looked from Kellen, who was standing in his path to the door, arms folded over his chest, to me. He shuffled over to a barstool.

  I went behind the bar. “Okay, rum and coke coming up!”

  Kellen and Reese sat down at the bar as well.

  “Do you guys want anything?” I asked.

  Kellen shook his head. “No, thanks. I’m good right now.”

  “Can you make a whiskey sour?” asked Reese.

  I shook my head.

  “Rum and coke it is,” said Reese.

  Now that I was standing behind the bar, I realized how confusing everything was. There were three sinks and bunch of glassware. Which kind of glass was I supposed to use for a rum and coke? The really tall ones? The medium ones? I settled on the medium ones and set two on the bar. As I scooped ice into the drinks, I said to Billy, “So, why’d you want to make that girl like you, anyway?”

  “Sheena,” said Billy. “We should have been together in high school. We both liked each other. But she was Jewish. Her parents said that she couldn’t date anyone who wasn’t a Jew. I thought if I could go back in time and make sure they thought I was a Jew, everything would be okay.”

  I made a sympathetic face. “That does suck. But, I mean, don’t you think that would have come out eventually, anyway?”

  “I was there to coach myself,” he said. “I spent months finding out everything there is to know about Judaism. I was feeding information to my past self. I would’ve fooled her and her parents. They’d have never have known the difference.”

  I poured some rum into the two glasses. Shit. Was that too much? Oh well, the drinks were going to be a little strong. “That’s sweet that you were so devoted. But why go to the past? Couldn’t you have found her in your present?”

  “No,” said Billy, “it wouldn’t have been the same. I had to fix things.”

  I poured coke over the rum and handed them their drinks. “What was so bad about the present that you had to fix it?”

  “Everything,” said Billy. “Everything was awful. I had a string of terrible relationships with girls who didn’t respect me. The last one threw all my stuff out of the window of our apartment. All that time, I kept thinking about Sheena. She was perfect. We were in love. We should have been together.”

  “Look,” said Elegy, appearing from the back room, “just because you’re in love with someone doesn’t mean everything works out, you know. That’s not how life works.”

  “Hi, Elegy,” I said.

  “Get out from behind my bar,” she said.

  “Okay.” I scurried around to the other side and sat down in a barstool next to Billy. “This is Elegy,” I told him.

  “So what would you know about love?” asked Kellen, bitterness all through his voice.

  Elegy was picking up the rum and cokes I’d made. “Did Catherine make these?”

  “I did,” I said.

  Elegy took them away and dumped them out.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “I make the drinks around here,” she said. To Reese, “Whiskey sour?”

  “Please,” said Reese.

  “And you?” Elegy asked Billy.

  “Um, vodka tonic?”

  “You got it,” said Elegy.

  “So you’re not
talking to me?” asked Kellen.

  She filled up two new glasses with ice. “I’m not offering you a drink, because you’re barely sober. And to understand what I might know about love, maybe you should hear a little story.”

  Ooh...this was starting to get good. Had I mentioned how entertaining things got in this bar?

  “I was a Fate,” said Elegy. “I wove the threads of time. I was good at it. I created lives for people, set out their paths. I loved it. It was more than a job, it was who I was. I couldn’t imagine being or doing anything else. And then I was assigned the thread of Reese Marston.” She looked at Reese.

  Reese looked away.

  Elegy poured whiskey in a glass carelessly. She knew the right amount without thinking about it. Then she poured vodka in another glass. She was so freaking good at that. “At first, it was little things I did. I’d wander into the back of a crowded restaurant when I knew he was there. I’d ride the same bus as he did. I always thought he didn’t even see me.”

  “I did see you,” said Reese.

  Elegy finished the drinks. She set them in front of Reese and Billy. “I know you did. I should have realized it then. I knew I shouldn’t be entering the human world. I was a Fate. I was supposed to stay separate, not get involved. But he drew me to him. I knew him so well. I had set the threads of his life, after all.”

  “I went looking for you,” said Reese, ignoring his drink and reaching across the bar for Elegy. “I saw you in my dreams. The woman always at the edge of my vision, the one I saw all the time. I had to know you were. It was my fault.”

  She shook her head. “It was my fault. I let you see me. And once you found me, we had disrupted the threads of time.”

  “Wait,” I said. “You were in love with my brother?”

  “I still am,” said Elegy. “Why do you think I was punished to roam time in this bar—this prison?”

  “And I’m a volur,” said Reese, “because I knew too much to be human anymore.”

  “Reese always talked to me about his sister,” said Elegy. “When I realized you were going to die, I couldn’t let it happen.”

  “Oh my God,” I said.

  Reese gulped at his drink. “I really should go, Elegy. They’ll be suspicious that I’ve been here for so long.”

  She nodded, but there was pain written all over her face. I’d never seen her in so much pain.

  Reese’s fingers darted across the bar and brushed hers for a moment. She gazed into his eyes. And then he pulled away. He got up off the barstool and headed for the door. They exchanged one agonized glance as he stood with his hand on the doorknob. And then he pushed open the door and left.

  Elegy picked up his glass from the bar and started to wash it.

  No one said anything.

  “I’m really confused,” said Billy finally.

  “Look,” said Elegy. “You can’t change the past. Got it?”

  “I guess so,” said Billy. “Why not?”

  I started to explain. “There’s this thing called a paradox—”

  “You just can’t,” interrupted Elegy. “Now, drink up. I’m taking you back to your present. And you’re going to stay away from time portals. And you’re going to keep pushing through your miserable life. Because that’s all any of us can do. Do you understand?”

  Billy drank his vodka tonic and didn’t say anything.

  We all sat in silence for a long time, watching Billy finish his drink. When he was done, Elegy escorted him out of the bar, making him promise never to mess with time portals ever again. The poor guy looked really confused still, but he left.

  Elegy came back behind the bar. “Okay,” she said. “I can sense that everything’s all right now. No more paradox.”

  Kellen got up off his barstool. “So, you’re in love with that guy.”

  Elegy didn’t answer.

  “I guess I should go too,” said Kellen. “I can hang out in this time period for a while, until I get picked up to fix another paradox.” He started for the door.

  “Wait,” said Elegy.

  Kellen stopped. He turned around.

  “I’m sorry I can’t return whatever feelings you have,” she said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Ever since I got stuck in this bar, I’ve been trying to drown it all out, you know?”

  “I guess it’s okay,” said Kellen. “I only wish you would have been honest with me.”

  “I’m not allowed to see him,” said Elegy. “They separated us. It’s part of our punishment. We messed with time. We messed with fate. What was the point of being honest? I figured eventually, I’d stop thinking about it.”

  “Is that working?” Kellen asked.

  “Not really.”

  He nodded. “I’m not mad. It’s okay.” He turned to go again.

  “Wait,” said Elegy.

  Kellen turned around again.

  “Do you want to, you know...” Elegy gestured with her head to the back room.

  “What?” I said.

  Elegy glared at me. “How is this any of your business, Catherine?”

  “You can’t just tell me you’re in love with my brother, and then act like it’s no big deal,” I said.

  “How should I act?” Elegy wanted to know. “Should I be a big mopey crybaby? It’s done. There’s nothing I can do to fix it. It sucks.”

  “Well, Kellen, you’re not going to take her up on that, are you?” I asked him. “I mean, you’ve got more self respect than that, don’t you?”

  “Um...” Kellen trailed off. “No, I don’t really have any self respect.” He started walking back from the door.

  “But, she’s using you,” I said. “She doesn’t love you. She never will. She’s trying to distract herself from her own sadness and bitterness.”

  “You’re so flattering,” said Elegy. “Is this a good time to remind you that I saved your life?”

  I set my jaw. “I do not understand you. Either of you.”

  Kellen shrugged. “She’s really hot.”

  Men. I watched as the two of them wound their arms around each other. “Can I at least have a drink before you go?”

  Reluctantly, Elegy disentangled herself and came back to the bar to make me a rum runner.

  “If you’re going to be doing this,” I said, “I’m going to flirt with volurs too.”

  “Please, Catherine,” said Elegy, mixing my drink, “I’m sleeping with all the volurs. What makes you think you could get them to want you instead?”

  “Well, you can’t have all of them,” I said.

  “Sure, I can,” said Elegy. She set my drink down in front of me.

  “But what am I supposed to do? Spend the rest of eternity out of time, not aging, all alone?”

  “Pretty much,” said Elegy, going back to Kellen.

  “That sucks,” I said.

  “That’s life,” she called over her shoulder.

  “Technically, I think I’m dead.”

  “No you’re not,” she said, “thanks to me.”

  She and Kellen disappeared into the back room.

  “At least try to keep it down this time,” I called.

  The door shut.

  I sipped my drink. This was completely fucked up. Completely.

  4: The Electric Mind

  I squinted. “Why does the bar look like a hospital?” Two seconds ago, I'd been holding a rum runner and wearing normal clothes. Now, I was holding a syringe, complete with a wickedly glinting needle, and wearing an antiquated nurse's uniform. The time traveling bar that I called my home usually resembled an ‘80s sports bar, but now resembled a hospital room with nondescript beds flanking white walls. The bar was able to change its appearance, because it wasn't really a bar, but rather a praxidikai—which is a big word for time machine, I think.

  Elegy Flynn, the Greek Fate that drove this time machine, was also wearing a nurse's uniform. She was grinning at me. “We're picking up a new volur.”

  Volurs were people who'd witnessed a time paradox, and thus had t
o spend the rest of their lives unstuck in time, traveling to correct paradoxes.

  “And this has something to do with the fact you made the bar a hospital?” I looked around for some place to set down the syringe I was holding, but I didn't see anyplace. “Is this going to turn back into a rum runner when you change the bar back?”

  “Probably,” said Elegy. “Look, this volur is in a mental institution in 1908. We're going to pick him up, and I don't want to arouse suspicions. He's due any second now.” A door opened on the white wall and several women dressed in similar nurse's uniforms wheeled a bed inside. “Ah, right on time.”

  So, what I thought that meant was that Elegy had made the bar look like a hospital so that the people who were looking after our new volur wouldn't be suspicious handing him over to us. A new volur was actually pretty exciting. I wondered what he looked like. The nurses were standing around the bed at the moment, so I couldn't get a good look at him.

  Elegy stepped forward to meet them. “We'll take the patient from here.”

  “He's supposed to go down to the ward on the second level,” said one of the nurses, eyeing Elegy and me. She sounded a little wary.

  Elegy waved the nurses away. “Yes, yes. We're quite aware of his situation. Thank you very much for bringing him this far.”

  “No one said anything about handing him off,” said the wary nurse.

  Elegy looked annoyed. She gestured to me. “All we were told was to come up here and escort this patient the second level. If they didn't tell you that, then maybe there's some emergency back where you came from.” She put her hands firmly on the metal head of the bed and began to push the new volur away from the nurses.

  Now I could see him. He was asleep, but I could see that he had tanned skin and a firm jaw. He was actually very attractive.

  “Cathy,” snapped Elegy. “Stop gawking and help me with the patient.”

  Right. I looked at the syringe in my hand, then set it carefully on the floor and hurried over to help Elegy wheel the hospital bed away from the nurses, who were giving us all somewhat confused looks.

  “Well, don't just stand there,” Elegy said to the nurses. “You must have someplace else you're supposed to be. Get there.”