Falling From Grace

by SL Naeole

  I had to admit, Robert did know how to win over the ladies. I could feel mine, but I was thoroughly impressed when I saw Ellie's blush creep up her neck and slowly bloom across her cheeks. It was apparent that it had been a while since someone had made her feel--well...like a school girl. And who better to do that than someone who had known her when she was just a school girl?

  Leading me onto the temporary dance floor that was crowded with party guests, Robert swung me out, then with a sharp tug pulled me back in, causing me to spin into a very tight embrace, one hand holding mine clasped against my heart, the other placed at the small of my back, my free hand falling naturally onto his shoulder. "I know you haven't had much fun so far this evening," he whispered into my ear, "but I do plan on making sure that the rest of it is pleasant, if not thoroughly enjoyable."

  "Robert, it doesn't matter what we do. If I'm with you, it's already enjoyable," I promised. I rested my head against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart, and wondered what exactly was beneath the skin and bones that caused that beautiful rhythm.

  It's my heart. It is the same as yours.

  I shook my head. No it isn't. Your heart has beat for fifteen hundred years--and will continue to beat for at least another fifteen hundred--while mine will be lucky to beat for as long as Ellie's has.

  He kissed my hair and then pressed his cheek against my head. I will see to it that it beats for as long as possible.

  I smiled. Of course he would. This is nice.

  What is?

  This, my first dance...our first dance. I think I expected it to be awkward and clumsy, and instead it feels like I've been doing this for as long as you have.

  I could feel his body shake slightly as he laughed.

  I lifted my head from his chest, looking at his amused face. Why are you laughing?

  I think I was expecting the same thing.

  My mouth opened in a mock gasp. So little faith in my dancing abilities?

  He smiled. More like so little faith in my ability to cover up the fact that I had so little faith in your dancing abilities. That, and I wasn't so sure I'd be able to heal my feet. You've got big feet; I should know, I bought the shoes you're wearing tonight.

  I laughed and then shrieked as he spun us around very quickly. Stop! You're going to make me dizzy! I started laughing hysterically as he spun us faster, my head falling back, my hair coming loose of its pins.

  He slowed and soon, we were simply rocking in a slow, gentle motion. I thought I was making you dizzy.

  Giggling, I nodded my head before placing it back on his chest. "I think that no matter what you were doing, you'd make me dizzy," that last bit coming out in a breathy gasp.

  Resting his chin on my head, he sighed. I know what you mean.

  I felt my hand creep up to his neck, my fingers searching for the pulse point there that would echo the beat I heard in his chest. You mean you make yourself dizzy, too?

  He laughed softly. You silly girl. I meant that you leave me feeling very dizzy, too. It's a rather odd sensation; I'm sure that I'm going to need to feel it often in order to truly understand it.

  I felt his pulse quicken and that small piece of knowledge made me feel breathless indeed.

  How strange. It's the opposite with me. When I'm not around you that is when I feel breathless. I liken it to being a fish, and you are my water. When I'm not around you, I feel as though I cannot breathe. And you have to understand the irony in that because I've never in my entire existence ever needed to.

  I lifted my head up off of his chest again and searched his face. Confusion, amazement, and humor at what he had just revealed to me could be seen plainly. What I had to search for was hidden in his eyes. He looked frightened.

  Robert placed his hand at the back of my head and pressed it back down to his chest, sighing wryly. I am afraid. I don't understand the feeling, but it is there. I have never felt it before, and it is exhilarating and strange and confusing all at the same time. I have always seen fear in the minds of other people, but I have never been able to understand it because it is a foreign emotion to me, and because of that, I couldn't actually feel it. Does that make sense to you?

  I nodded, understanding it completely. He was supposed to be the epitome of empathy, and yet he couldn't empathize with the fearful because he had never been fearful himself. What did he have to be fearful of?

  I don't know. So much of this is new to me. I brought you into my world thinking that I'd be changing your life, when the opposite is more true; you have been changing mine in ways that time has never been able to. I can read and study the world and all of its inhabitants...but you've made me feel things that I didn't know I had it in me to feel. It's...strange.

  I smiled. I was now the normal one, the one who was used to feeling something as trivial as fear, and he was the weird one. I felt his body shake once more with laughter and I sighed with contentment.

  The hand that had been pressed against the back of my head lowered itself to the small of my back once again, and he pressed there, bringing me closer, embracing me in that moment of understanding. I nestled my face closer to his neck, wanting to smell his skin, lose myself in the scent and feel of him as we swayed slowly to the beat of music I couldn't hear because his voice was in my mind...and it was the only sound I ever wanted to hear again.

  STRANGE HAPPENINGS

  Bliss is always short lived. I read that on a fortune cookie once. I didn't think that would ever apply to me, since bliss wasn't exactly a feeling that I was familiar with, but dancing in Robert's arms proved to be as blissful as things could get at the moment, and like that tiny scrap of grease soaked paper predicted, it was short lived.

  "May I cut in, brother?" a smooth, silky voice asked behind me, and I stiffened as recognition hit.

  Robert eased his hold on me, nudging me to turn around, which I did. Slowly. Hesitatingly.

  "Sam! I don't see why not. I did promise Ellie to dance with her next," Robert replied.

  I did not want to go. I looked at their faces and knew that both of them knew that I did not want to. But neither of them had the nerve to refuse. Stupid angel etiquette.

  "Fine, let's dance," I muttered.

  Sam took my hand and placed it on his shoulder; he grabbed my other hand and raised it up, then started twirling us in large circles, his feet moving fairly quickly, and mine stumbling to keep up. He smiled brilliantly, and I was certain that anyone else would have looked at that smile and thought it the most beautiful sight they had ever seen, but to me, he looked like a shark. His teeth were gleaming, and sharp, and I would have bet money that had he opened his mouth, I'd have seen rows and rows of teeth on the ready right behind the ones up front.

  I wanted to introduce him to Erica. They were both predatory creatures. Perhaps the larger shark would eat the smaller shark, and then the larger shark would get a serious case of indigestion and change his diet. I liked that idea. My smile reflected it.

  He seemed to take that as a welcoming sign, and began talking. "I wanted to apologize for my lack of tact earlier. I shouldn't have been so forthcoming with information about Rob and Ellie's relationship. That was for the two of them to tell, not I."

  I nodded my head, gritting my teeth as I did so, because I wasn't buying it for a second. I thought he knew it, too, until he started talking again.

  "You don't--your mind isn't--you're a very quiet girl," he finally uttered, his expression one of confusion. I knew my face mirrored the exact same confusion because he continued, "I guess I can see why you fascinate Rob so. Your head is so empty of thoughts, it must seem like a sanctuary for him. It's...quiet in there."

  My eyes grew wide as I recognized the signs. Sam couldn't hear my thoughts! He was trying, but he kept falling into the void, the "empty ring" in my mind when my thoughts had gone into their own corners! I felt absolutely giddy at the thought. Not wanting him to think I was a total idiot though, I concentrated on clearing my head of any thoughts completely.

>   I must have focused more energy in looking like I was concentrating than actually concentrating because soon, I was shaking with the vibrations from Sam's laughter. It was annoying.

  "You are definitely an interesting girl." The way he said "interesting" sounded very insulting.

  I tried not to look as exasperated as I felt, and realizing that it was practically impossible, I gave up. "Why am I an interesting girl?"

  The smile on his face turned wry. "You just are. I wouldn't have ever expected you to be the type that Rob would choose, but you are definitely unique in your own way."

  "How can someone just be interesting? Something has to make someone interesting. Like, being funny, smart, witty, or talented at something," I responded.

  He shrugged his shoulders. "You're interesting because you are."

  "And you, Sam, are absolutely un-interesting. For an angel, you are quite boring."

  Again, he started laughing, throwing his head back and allowing his voice to carry out. And yet it was unremarkable. How is it that someone so beautiful could be so...blah?

  Not wanting to turn this into a who was more interesting contest, I decided to change the subject. "So, you're Robert's adopted brother. How? He's never mentioned you before."

  "In your world, he would be known as my protege, my pupil if you will. In ours, I'm his big brother. It is a title of familiarity, and so joins us, binds us to each other in the way that blood can't," he answered.

  I thought about that for a bit. It seemed a bit ridiculous that the title alone would be enough to make them brothers. But the fact that an angel couldn't lie could not be ignored either. He had said that Robert was his brother. Lark and Robert had as well. "So, you're a part of the Robert package then?"

  He nodded, smiling as he understood what I meant. "Yes. I am."

  There was nothing for it. I was going to have to get used to the idea of Sam if I had any hope of Robert getting used to the idea of me. "Well then, Sam, I'm Grace. Nice to meet you," I took a step back and held out my hand.

  Laughing once more, he took it and shook it, forcefully. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Grace."

  Unsure now how to proceed after such a sterile greeting, we both stared at each other in the middle of the dance floor while bodies moved around us in an organized jumble of limbs, skirts, and the occasional coattail. He smiled, seemingly pleased at how utterly confounded I was. "Would you like to continue our dance?" he asked, and smiled again when he knew that I would answer in the negative.

  I started to walk away, the need to bathe on the forefront of my mind, when a strong, yet gentle set of hands pulled me into an unnatural spin, away from Sam, away from the crowd, and away from the dance floor. I saw a blur of black in my movement, felt the back of my hand scrape against something rough, but couldn't see who it was that had decided to be my savior until a few moments after I was allowed to sit down and hold my head still.

  "Lark!" I wheezed. It was very difficult to focus on anything other than my feet, but I knew it was her by the color of her dress. "Aren't you supposed to wear a darker color than the bride?" I muttered, not exactly pleased with her near nausea inducing antics.

  She snorted. "Like I'm supposed to take fashion advice from someone who needed her boyfriend to pick out her dress?"

  I shook my head. "He's not my boyfriend."

  That seemed to surprise Lark, because instead of her usual snort, she...she did nothing.

  "I don't know what he is. I don't know what we are," I sighed.

  "But isn't this a date? I could have sworn I kept hearing that in his head." Lark seemed puzzled. "You know, none of his other girlfriends ever seemed to have any doubt as to where their relationships stood with Robert. I think perhaps you should ask him what you two are."

  I groaned. It was a very loud groan. Sheepish, too. "He asked me that yesterday."

  "And..."

  I looked at her, and then glanced away quickly when I started speaking, ashamed. "I told him that we were good friends."

  As if it were a trend to start laughing at me, Lark did just that. "Oh Grace, you are an idiot. Robert cares a great deal for you, and he already views you as his girlfriend. You're the one who labeled yourself. Or, should I say you're the one who failed to label yourself."

  I scowled at her. I knew that I'd end up with one permanent crease in my forehead as a result, and I'd gladly name it Lark to remind me who put it there, because I had no other expression at my disposal to use.

  She laughed again. "Don't get angry, Grace. Look, if it makes you feel better, you're the first person that Robert's ever introduced to the whole family."

  I looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean, the whole family? You mean you, your mother, and Sam? Meeting you and your mother--okay, meeting your mother was nice--you and I obviously worked our way around our first meeting--but trying to make me feel better by saying that I'm the first person to meet Sam almost sounds like an insult."

  I should have kept my mouth shut, because Lark starting laughing once again. She gripped her sides, as though it would somehow help contain her laughter. Fat chance. I waited impatiently before finally allowing some of her humor creep into me.

  "I see that smile, Grace Shelley," she teased. She came towards me, and instinctually I flinched. "Oh please, haven't you learned to trust me yet?" Without appearing to have moved at all, she was by my side, her arm wrapped around my waist, squeezing me like a girlfriend would. "You know what? I've met every single girl that Robert's ever dallied with, dated, flirted with, and so on. But with the exception of Ellie, who already knew our secret, he's never told anyone of the others what he was. He's never dared.

  "And yes, he's never brought any of them to meet Sam either, who, for some ridiculous notion, he loves like an actual brother, so you should feel honored, rather than disgusted. But--I totally support your disgust, and will stand side by side with you in disgustdom. Together, we shall rule with absolute disgustation!"

  It was my turn to laugh loudly, understanding now why one needs to hold onto their sides while doing so. It took a moment before I was able to speak, but when I started it was with a slightly less amused tone, "I don't get it, Lark. Sam is beautiful, the vision that I would have had pop into my head when asked what I thought an angel would have looked like before I met your brother..."

  "So why does he give you the creeps?" Lark finished.

  I nodded, "Yeah! Why?"

  "Unfortunately I can't answer that question for you. Only he can. But, Sam received the call over two millennia ago, so he's rarely ever around, which means you'll probably only see him during special occasions. Be glad for it. The human sense of time is much slower than ours. For you, a month is like a day for us."

  I stared at Lark, my face totally deadpanned. "That's it? That's all I get?"

  She shrugged her shoulders. "What? You act as though I can read minds or something."

  I did it before I could stop myself. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but it happened, and in the split second that it took for me to swing my arm back a bit and punch Lark in the arm, much like I had Graham, much like I had even Stacy, I had brought the entire wedding party to a standstill.

  Lark's face was one of shock. The exact same expression was on every face that had turned to stare at the two of us, human and angel alike. I looked at her, my lip trembling, and sagged in relief as I realized that she knew that I had not done it because I had wanted to hurt her.

  "I think I'm actually flattered that you regard our relationship with such ease and familiarity," she said, a strained smile on her face. "How is your hand?"

  I shrugged, "My hand? It's fi--holy crap!"

  My hand looked like it should hurt. No. It looked like it should be completely numb and dead, hanging off of my arm, useless. It was completely covered in purplish bruises, the pinky looking distorted a bit, and the nail on my index finger was missing. "What the hell happened to my hand?" I shrieked, panic bubbling up within me.

  A gasp erupted
among the crowd, and I didn't know if it was because of what I had done to Lark, or because of how my hand looked. I looked at her face, trying to see if this was completely normal. She was stoic, inspecting my hand with surgical precision, turning it by minute degrees, her eyes moving so quickly I felt dizzy just watching her. I shook my head and knew that if my hand didn't hurt, and if she wasn't shocked by the way it looked, then the crowd that had now surrounded us were doing so because I had probably committed some heinous crime and were about to descend upon me like some angelic plague.

  I heard a loud woosh, and in one astounding moment, the crowd of people that had seemed so heavenly and menacing at the same time parted, ironically, like the red sea. But they soon gathered once again, converging upon me like a swarm of beautiful bees. Only when they were close could I see that it wasn't anger or fear that they were feeling, but rather curiosity. Of course they were curious. I was the oddity, after all.

  I really was a superfreak. I had just punched someone who could kill me before anyone would have noticed. "Oh, I'm such an idiot." I mumbled, resting my head in my free hand.

  "You're not an idiot, Grace," the soft voice that I had wanted to hear--but at the same time didn't--whispered in my ear. He brushed my hair out of my face, and forced me to look at him. "Your human instincts might be a novelty to some of those who are here in normal situations, but knowing what you know, and yet seeing that you still did...that--it is very interesting to them, especially the electus patronus who would never dream of doing such a thing."

  He took my hand away from Lark, who was still examining the myriad of hues ranging from one shade of blue to the deepest purple. "The pattern is interesting, isn't it? Like a honeycomb. Fascinating..."

  He nodded, and splayed my fingers, wincing as he did so. Robert's head jerked up as his face turned towards me. "You didn't scream," he gasped. The crowd surrounding us murmured their shock.