Brave Beginnings

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  Achai rolled his eyes but didn’t comment.

  Citlali and Gary thanked the store owner and rolled the guns and bullets into the hides. Chogan straightened. This was it. Next Gary would see his aunt and sister.

  “I hope you manage a pleasant attitude with Julia,” Achai said. “If you give her the same ominous look you’re giving me, she just might run from you.”

  As much as Chogan hated to admit it, his friend was right. Uncrossing his arms, he shook his limbs to force the tension from his muscles.

  “That’s better,” Achai said.

  Citlali and Gary left the store and went over to Achai and Chogan.

  “Now when we hunt buffalo, we’ll do better,” Citlali announced, obviously proud of their new weapons.

  Knowing the question wouldn’t please Citlali, Chogan directed his gaze to Gary and asked, “Will you go to your aunt and sister’s now?”

  Gary nodded. “I better. If I don’t, they’ll probably track me down at the tribe.” With a grin, he added, “Now that Julia knows how to use a bow and arrow, I don’t want to risk upsetting her.”

  Immediately, the memory of the days he and Julia spent hunting rabbits came to Chogan’s mind, and he felt a smile tug at his lips. Those had been, perhaps, the best moments he’d ever shared with another person. As soon as the wave of pleasure washed over him, the reminder of her refusal to marry him came crashing down on him. But she hadn’t rejected him. She made the offer for him to make the move into her world—the white man’s world—so they could be together.

  He hadn’t been ready to leave his tribe. Glancing at the men who walked by with their hats, suits and coats, he wondered if he was ready now. Could he ever leave his people, his heritage, even if it meant he could be with her? He thought her world had stifled her. Its restraints had pressed her in on all sides. She had the inner fire that he couldn’t imagine this world accepted from a woman. She had been honored for shooting a Sioux with an arrow when the tribe was attacked, but would she receive such honor here? Or would the men condemn her for her act of bravery?

  Chogan returned his attention to Gary. “I will go with you.”

  Gary nodded.

  Achai leaned forward, whispered, “Remember to smile so you don’t scare her off,” and joined Citlali at the wagon they would take back to the tribe.

  Chogan mounted his steed and waited for Gary to lead the way through the busy streets of Bismarck. He scanned the buildings and wondered why these people didn’t feel restricted. They went about their business, seeming to be content with their imprisonment. He didn’t know if he could do it—make the switch to living here. He was used to the open land; there was a sense of freedom in it. Didn’t Julia miss that?

  A young boy darted in front of his horse, so Chogan pulled back on the reins and waited until the boy was safely back with his mother on the sidewalk before he directed the steed to continue. As he passed them, he heard the mother whisper something about staying away from the savage. Skin bristling, Chogan’s head snapped in the woman’s direction. Her eyes grew wide before she clutched her child’s hand and scurried off down the sidewalk.

  “Ignore it,” Gary said.

  “That’s easy for you to say. You’re white,” Chogan bitterly replied.

  “I put up with it too. They just call me different names.”

  Chogan couldn’t argue with that statement, and there was no doubt Gary’s daughter would have a rough time of it when she grew up if she chose to associate with the white man’s world. They’d label her a half-breed. “Doesn’t it bother you?”

  Gary shrugged. “I figure it’s their problem. Not mine.”

  If only such thinking came as easily to me, Chogan thought. Why couldn’t the white people be as welcoming as the tribes in the area were? No. He couldn’t live here. The only thing he could do was ask Julia to come with him and hope she’d say yes.

  ***

  Millicent Edwards leaned forward in the parlor chair and giggled into her handkerchief.

  Julia gave a polite smile, wondering what it was, exactly, that her cousin found so amusing about a rip in her petticoat.

  As if Millicent understood Julia’s confusion, she said, “I know no one can see my petticoats, but I’d die of embarrassment if I left the house in such a morbid condition.”

  “Did you know that Indian women don’t wear petticoats?”

  Millicent’s eyes grew wide. “I never thought about it, but they do dress differently from us. Oh, they must feel naked.”

  Julia set the cup on the table next to her chair. “I don’t think so. They never wore them before. My brother’s wife said her deerskin dress and moccasins were more comfortable.”

  “I wouldn’t know.”

  “Neither would I. I’ve never worn those clothes either.”

  Millicent sighed and spread out the skirt of her dress. “Well, I feel much better now that I changed into a good petticoat. I’ll have to mend the other one later.”

  “I should get home,” Julia replied, standing up. “Gary is due to stop by sometime today, and knowing how he times things, it’s likely to be right about now.”

  “Oh! How delightful. I’ve never met him.”

  Julia forced a smile. Millicent loved the word “oh” a little too much. “You’re welcome to join me. I’m sure Aunt Erin would like to have you over again.”

  “She is a lovely aunt, is she not?”

  “She is.”

  Millicent stood and led Julia to the coat tree by the front door. “I wish we had grown up together. We could have been great friends. Oh well. Nothing can be done about that now, can it? But here we are, and there’s no reason why we can’t make up for lost time!”

  “You’re right.”

  Julia wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and put her bonnet on. She wished she had brought her coat. When she went to Uncle Clarence and Aunt Annabel’s house to drop off a vase, she didn’t expect to get delayed by having tea with their daughter. Now the temperature was dropping in the late afternoon.

  “I’ll make it a quick visit,” Millicent said as she slipped on her coat and hat. “I do want to be back when Mother and Father return.”

  Julia nodded and waited for Millicent to check her reflection in the oval mirror in the entryway before she opened the door. “You have a good hour.”

  Millicent passed her, patted her shoulder and said, “I know, but I do love Aunt Erin’s stories. I hope I don’t lose track of time.”

  Julia shut the door behind them and went down the steps. “You make Aunt Erin’s day when you come over. She enjoys anyone who’ll listen to her.”

  “Oh, but you listen, don’t you?”

  “She tells the same stories over and over. After awhile, my mind wanders,” Julia admitted.

  She giggled. “I suppose that’s because you’ve known her for most of your life. There’s not much else you can learn.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  As they walked down the sidewalk, Julia shivered and wrapped the shawl tighter around her shoulders. Next time she went out, she’d be sure to grab her coat. Apparently, it was going to be an early winter this year.

  “Christmas is only a couple of months away, and this year we’ll celebrate it together,” Millicent excitedly stated. “Do you think Aunt Erin or my parents will want to entertain?”

  Barely noting the people they passed, Julia shrugged. “That depends on who’s more eager to do all the cooking.”

  Secretly, Julia hoped it would be Millicent’s parents. She didn’t realize what a recluse she’d become until she had spent that time looking for her brother and his wife. She glanced around for a view of the open land, but buildings stood all around her. She knew what was out there. Open land that spanned for miles in every direction. It was easy to forget that when she lived in town. She didn’t think she’d miss that time in her life as much as she did, but this was where she belonged. Her home was with her aunt, and they enjoyed peace and quiet. Glancing at Millicent w
ho continued to ramble on about Christmas decorations and cooking a turkey, Julia decided she’d much rather go to Millicent’s home and leave when she was ready instead of having to entertain them in her home until they decided to leave.

  Julia wondered if that made her a bad person. Shouldn’t she be eager to entertain guests? And it wasn’t like Millicent and her parents were just guests. They were relatives. She sighed. Maybe her brother was right. Maybe she was too standoffish for anyone to get to know. But she liked her space. She liked the quiet. Aunt Erin often commented on how pleasant it was to wind down at the end of a busy day. Yes, but everyone likes Erin...

  They turned the block onto the street where she lived, and she noted the horses in front of her house. She smiled at Millicent. “You wanted to meet Gary? You came at the right time.”

  Millicent stopped her talk of Christmas candy and clapped her hands. “Oh, how wonderful! I do so want to meet another cousin.”

  It was then that Julia wondered if Millicent wanted to talk to her because she was Julia or because she was a cousin. Shaking the thought away, she focused her attention forward. She wondered why there were two horses. Perhaps Gary came with Woape? The thought sped up her step. She did want to see her sister-in-law and niece again.

  “You might get to meet more than your cousin,” Julia said, unable to hide the trace of anticipation in her voice. “I think he brought his wife and daughter out.”

  She paused for a moment and then smiled. “That would be lovely too.”

  Julia frowned at the hesitation in her cousin’s voice. She knew it wasn’t in line with Millicent’s otherwise joyful nature, but she couldn’t quite grasp what the pause meant or how to interpret it. Finally, she ventured to ask, “Do you really want to come into the house? Perhaps you might like to go back.”

  Millicent’s eyes grew wide, even as her cheeks turned a bright shade of red. “Oh, I do. I mean, Gary is your brother.”

  “Right,” she slowly said, still unsure of what to make of the younger woman’s slight giggle and quick aversion of the eyes.

  Yes, something wasn’t right, but she knew better than to press the issue. With a shrug, she led the way up the steps to the porch. She turned the knob and stepped over the threshold. From her vantage point, she saw her aunt stop talking to the others in the parlor who were obscured from her view. She waved to her aunt before she motioned for Millicent to follow her into the house. Her cousin’s brows furrowed for a second, and then, in the next instant, the curious expression was gone as she obeyed.

  Julia took her shawl off and hung it on the coat tree. “Should I take your coat?”

  Millicent gripped the top of her coat tightly around her neck. “No. Oh, I mean that I’ll be leaving soon. Very soon. I just want to say a quick hello.”

  Julia’s gaze darted to her aunt whose expression seemed to ask what was wrong with Millicent. Julia waited until Millicent wasn’t looking at her before she rolled her eyes and shook her head. Then she turned to take off her bonnet and hung it over her shawl.

  Gary peered around the doorway and smiled. “And here I thought you were going to avoid me,” he told Julia.

  “If you had stated a time we could expect your arrival, then I would have been here,” she retorted in a playful tone.

  “You must be Gary,” Millicent said, stepping forward. Glancing between him and Julia, she added, “You look a lot alike.”

  “Yes. He gets his good looks from me,” Julia joked. She gently took her cousin by the arm and led her into the parlor. “You might as well meet everyone.”

  She turned, expecting to see Woape and a little girl, but her gaze fell on Chogan and she didn’t have time to fight the smile that crossed her face or the speeding up of her heart. Heat rose to her face, and the year that had passed seemed to melt away. It had seemed like yesterday when he was teaching her to hunt for rabbits, and her elbows still tingled from the way his hands felt on them as he steadied her aim with the bow. She blinked and was immediately back in the parlor.

  She hadn’t seen Chogan in his full Mandan dress before. Yes, he’d worn a deerskin tunic and shirt. But it’d been summer then, and they’d been traveling along the prairie. This was how he truly was. He stood taller than she remembered, or maybe it was the headdress full of multicolored feathers that gave her that impression. His black hair was parted so that two sections of his hair hung down each side of his face and the middle part hung to his nose, curling at the end. The rest of his hair was pulled behind him, but since it was under his robe, she couldn’t tell how long it was.

  He was smiling at her, and for a moment, it was as if no one else was in the room. It was the same smile he gave her when there was nothing but them and the open land. Erin was always nearby, but she never kept in hearing distance. She seemed to be content to glance their way from time to time. So in a sense, it was just the two of them.

  “Gary and Chogan, this is Millicent Edwards.”

  Julia turned her attention to her aunt who made the introductions.

  “Millicent is my brother’s daughter,” Erin told Chogan.

  Chogan nodded at Millicent who inched closer to Julia. It was then that Julia understood Millicent’s unease, and she had to choke back a chuckle. She supposed with Chogan in his full Mandan attire he looked rather imposing, but since she’d known him already, she knew there was nothing to fear.

  “It’s alright,” she softly assured Millicent. “He won’t hurt you.”

  “Julia speaks truth,” Chogan added with a trace of mirth in his eyes. “When Julia and I meet, she...what is word?”

  “Threaten,” Erin filled in.

  “Yes, she threaten me with knife,” he said.

  “And what a sight that was,” Erin added. “Why, anyone could tell she had no chance against him since he’s much stronger than her.”

  Millicent turned her wide eyes in Julia’s direction. “You held a knife to him?”

  Julia shrugged. “It was all I had.”

  “And she saved my wife by shooting a Sioux,” Gary told Millicent.

  Julia noted the proud tone in Gary’s voice and smiled with pleasure. It was the first time she could remember him speaking so well of her. This time when her cheeks warmed it was for an altogether different reason. Her eyes met Gary’s and he smiled, not because he was trying to appease her but because he meant it.

  A knock came at the door, and Erin excused herself so she could answer it.

  “You shot a Sioux?” Millicent asked Julia.

  “Chogan taught me how to shoot a bow and arrow, and I saw no reason to let the lessons go to waste,” Julia replied, feeling a little embarrassed by the group looking at her with admiration.

  “I wish I saw it,” Chogan replied.

  Gary nodded. “Woape said it was an impressive sight. Julia earned a feather for that.”

  “Oh?” Millicent looked from Gary to Chogan and then to Julia. “Oh. Why, your life certainly has been interesting, hasn’t it?”

  Julia didn’t see it that way, but she considered from a twenty-year-old’s perspective, she had. Millicent would likely accomplish more by the time she turned twenty-eight.

  A familiar voice came from the entryway, so Julia peered around her cousin. Her breath caught in her throat as her gaze darted to Chogan. For the third time in ten minutes, Julia’s face flushed, and this time it wasn’t for a good reason. The timing couldn’t be worse, and she didn’t even feel like seeing Ernest.

  She stood there, in a mixture of shock and horror, as Ernest entered the parlor, greeted her in a much-too-friendly tone, and stopped right by her side as if they belonged together. She shot a frantic look in Chogan’s direction and noted the narrowing of his eyes before Ernest spoke up.

  “Gary? My goodness you’ve changed. You even got a new look.” He laughed and shook Gary’s hand. “Who’d have ever thought you would live with the Indians?”

  “Well, he married a lovely Mandan girl,” Erin said, seeming to be unaware of the tension in
the room.

  But Julia felt it, and she didn’t know what to do about it.

  As Erin made more introductions, Julia tried to blend into the background as much as she could. This wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all. Chogan refused to look in her direction, and Ernest continued to stand too close to her. She shifted away from him but bumped into Millicent. Great. She was sufficiently trapped.

  “We better go back,” Chogan told Gary.

  “What?” Julia asked.

  “You’re right,” Gary agreed. “We’ve already been here longer than we should have been. Citlali will wonder where we are.”

  “But-” Julia began, flustered.

  No one seemed to hear her over the sudden commotion of good-byes and promises from Gary to arrange a day for Erin and Julia to see Woape and Penelope. Julia wanted to get Chogan’s attention again. If she could get him alone and explain the situation with Ernest, then perhaps he wouldn’t feel the need to run off.

  But Gary and Chogan were out the door before she could put more than two words together. She blinked. It all happened so fast. She wasn’t even sure what happened. Things seemed to be going smoothly, and then it was all one big blur. She glanced between a relieved looking Millicent and a smiling Ernest.

  Her aunt shut the front door. “That was certainly a nice visit. It’s too bad you missed most of it,” she told Julia. “Gary wanted to stay until you returned. Isn’t that good?”

  Julia understood the meaning under the question and nodded to appease her aunt. Yes, it was thoughtful of Gary to linger as long as he did, but if she could have had a moment to speak with Chogan alone or if Ernest hadn’t shown up, then things would’ve gone much better. Chogan assumed that she was letting Ernest call on her. He had to assume it. She would if the roles were reversed and she saw a woman standing close to him.

  Her aunt, ever the gracious hostess, invited Millicent and Ernest to stay for awhile, and Julia knew she was in for a long afternoon. Well, she’d have to find a way to straighten things out with Chogan. Right now, there was nothing to do about it. Maybe that was good. She needed time. Time to think over her words and what she’d tell Chogan when she did see him again.