Valentine Present and Other Diabolical Liberties

by Lynda Renham

  ‘I’ve got to give it to yer, your ‘ead’s screwed on all right. You’re too good for that prick Julian.’

  Diamond gives me an approving nod. I rather think he is right. I watch as Angus escorts them down the drive to where a taxi is waiting. Brice reaches out for me and I back away.

  ‘I think you’ve made it very clear I’m not your type. I and my embarrassing family will be gone by the morning,’ I say, forcing hardness to my voice.

  ‘Harry, wait a minute,’ he says, ‘you surely don’t believe those things Phoebe said?’

  ‘I saw your face when she said I was a washerwoman. We live different lives Brice. You’re a highfalutin doctor with a highfalutin family and I’m just the common girl from Battersea. It will never work.’

  ‘You think I am that shallow do you?’ he responds sharply.

  Well no, I don’t actually, but what if it were true? What if he had told Phoebe he didn’t really fancy me? What if in a few months he regrets it all. The thing is I can’t go through all this hurt again.

  ‘Yes, I do,’ I say.

  Pain crosses his face and he turns away from me. I give him one last look and rush inside the house. I’ve had enough of men making a fool out of me. I’ll shall pack my things immediately and leave. The thought of returning to my little flat and my job at the laundrette fills me with some comfort. I feel like a weight has been lifted, at last I can stop all this pretending and deceit.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  The smartly dressed woman from Medical Aiders looks over her spectacles at me.

  ‘We only have three placements we can offer. Because of your lack of experience working abroad it does limit us quite considerably.’

  Oh dear. I really can’t tell her my only reason for not wanting to go to South East Asia is a good-looking, well-to-do doctor, can I? I imagine that would be the driving force for most young single nurses.

  ‘It’s just South East Asia, I don’t mind anywhere else,’ I say, trying not to sound too fussy.

  She pushes her thick-rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose, reminding me of Fiona. God, I’m going to miss her so much. Still, it is only for six months. The woman looks back to the screen and sighs.

  ‘Right, let me see. Your college has suggested the placement. You’re behind with your studies I understand.’

  Christ, does she have to rub it in.

  ‘Yes, but I’m doing tropical medicine when I get back.’

  ‘Well like I said, there is an ideal placement in Laos. They have a temporary doctor who needs an extra pair of hands, at least until the regular doctor comes back. It will be very good experience for you,’ she says, looking at me eagerly.

  I lower my eyes. I can’t do it. I just can’t go where Brice may be. I haven’t seen him since the morning after the party. I know I should have given him a chance to explain, but the truth is I had always known he was too good for me. I saw him blanch when Phoebe had referred to me as the washerwoman. I can’t even think back to that moment without feeling total humiliation. I’d just wanted to escape from Glenwood as quickly as possible. I sometimes imagine their conversation. Did they laugh about me? It doesn’t bear thinking about. No way can I see him again and have him scoff at my dream of working in a third-world country. But for all that, I can’t seem to stop thinking about him. He did try to visit me at the flat but I told Fiona to say I didn’t want to see him. That had been six weeks ago. I’ve heard nothing since.

  ‘Thank you, but I really can’t work in Laos, or any part of South East Asia,’ I say firmly.

  ‘It says here that was your first choice,’ she says, trying to hide the irritation from her voice.

  ‘It was originally, but that was before …’

  She raises her eyebrows, then clicks the mouse and says with a grimace.

  ‘All I have to offer you is Angola. There is a mud hut outpost,’ she says wrinkling her nose. ‘It’s called, let me see, ah yes, Montamo. It’s a war-ravaged country. Not as civilised as South East Asia. They need someone next week, and it’s only for five months, you’ll be replacing an experienced nurse who is leaving to marry. It’s your choice. It’s not the best placement, and with your lack of experience …’

  Holy shit, how ironic is that? I bet Julian will have a good laugh when he hears this. Angola of all places, I ask you. I’ll probably get blown up by a landmine. I hope that makes Brice Edmunds happy. The Major thought Laos was primitive, this sounds even worse. I smile at the memory and strangely find myself missing Margarita and her demented cat. I sip from a cup of lukewarm tea and sigh. The cheque from Margarita had been a big surprise. It had arrived three days after I got home. There was nothing with it, no note, no explanation but I wouldn’t have expected there to be. A day later Cedric had visited with all the clothes I had left behind and the six hundred quid from Angus.

  ‘Madam said you have to take them Miss Harriet as they fit no one else, and that she hoped you got her little message.’

  Her ten thousand pound cheque and the sale of the van had completely cleared my debts and I was now officially in the black. I even managed to get an extra fifty quid from the Jacks thanks to Angus’s Oscar prizewinning performance. I had asked Cedric how Hamilton was faring and he straightaway knew what I’d meant.

  ‘Mr Hamilton is getting engaged to Miss Phoebe,’ he had smiled. ‘Of course, there had to be some adjustments regarding finance. I think they will be happy enough.’

  So, Margarita had given in on that one then? Pity she couldn’t have done it sooner. I smile at the memory of the old girl staring at my false breasts. God, I can’t believe I did that. My mind is pulled back to the present by the sharp voice of the woman sitting in front of me.

  ‘Well?’ she asks. ‘Do you want it? You’ll be under a doctor …’ she squints at the screen. ‘Doctor Beadu. The other staff are Angolan.’

  I bite my lip. It sounds really isolated. Even the doctor is foreign. Christ, I hope I can understand him.

  ‘Does Dr Beadu speak English?’ I ask nervously.

  ‘It says he does here. There is no mention of his nationality. He may be Norwegian.’

  At least I’ll be as far from Brice Edmunds as anyone can be. Actually, I’ll be as far away as I can be from just about everyone. That seems like a good idea to me.

  ‘I’ll take the position,’ I hear myself say.

  ‘Rather you than me,’ she says, handing me the forms to complete.

  * * *

  I zip up my suitcase and glance at the boxes covering the floor of my living room. It’s hard to believe that Julian and I once shared this flat and were so happy. Well okay, reasonably happy.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re doing this,’ says Fiona, scooping papers into a neat pile.

  Mum pops her head around the kitchen door.

  ‘Well the kitchen is as bright as a new pin. If that landlord tries to hold back your deposit he’ll have me to deal with.’

  ‘Thanks Mum,’ I smile.

  ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing?’ she asks earnestly.

  ‘She’ll be co-co-co- …’

  ‘Cocking it up again?’ offers Mum. ‘That’s what she usually does, isn’t that right love?’

  ‘Congo dancing like a native,’ says Alistair.

  ‘You’ve got that mosquito net I gave you haven’t you?’ says Caron stepping from the bathroom with the loo brush in her hand. ‘We don’t want you getting malaria.’

  ‘Yes I have and will you lot stop cleaning this flat. It’s bleeding spotless.’

  Fiona laughs. Oh God, I am so going to miss everyone. Even I am beginning to think I must be mad. Of all the places to end up it has to be Angola.

  ‘Let’s hope the doctor is nice,’ says Fiona.

  ‘I hope you know what you’re doing,’ says Gary.

  All the same, I’m feeling quite proud of myself. I’ve got a placement, and I’ve managed to change my course to Third-World Medicine. I’m actually feeling life is opening up a world of new oppo
rtunities for me. At least I won’t go falling in love, not with a Norwegian doctor anyway. Even I couldn’t marry a man with a name like Beadu, Harriet Beadu sounds like a brand of face cream.

  ‘Either that or the whole thing with Hamilton has turned her insane,’ sighs Fiona. ‘Don’t think I’m visiting you there. I don’t have a death wish.’

  ‘Maybe Julian would like to visit me,’ I laugh.

  ‘I think she has gone insane. I mean, who goes to sodding Angola unless they’re off their trolley,’ quips Mum.

  ‘I’ll tell him,’ grins Alistair.

  Julian’s restaurant is apparently doing very well with the new backer, and Julian has moved into the flat above it. It’s a mess so Alistair tells me, but Julian is getting in an interior designer. I don’t even want to ask where the money for that is coming from, but a Leopard can’t change his spots, so they say. As for the Jacks, I have no idea what happened to them and I prefer it that way. I check the time on my phone and look at Fiona.

  ‘Nearly time to go. Enjoy your last cup of decent tea and bourbon biscuits. Who the hell knows what you’ll get out there,’ she says smiling but I see the tears forming in her eyes.

  ‘Dysentery most likely,’ says Dad, hugging me.

  ‘I’ve had my jabs,’ I laugh.

  ‘I expect this will be the last time you’ll see a white person,’ says Mum. ‘God, can you bleeding imagine it Caron?’

  ‘Mum honestly,’ I laugh.

  ‘We’re all going to miss you,’ says Fiona, holding back the tears.

  ‘I’ll miss your c-c-c-c- …’ begins Alistair.

  Fiona sighs.

  ‘Cooking?’ I suggest.

  ‘Cock-ups,’ he laughs, ‘and not to mention your outrageous clothes.’

  ‘And I won’t miss your stammer,’ I grin.

  I hug Mum and Caron, before kissing Gary and Alistair. Angola here I come. How ironic is that? I somehow think it is fate and who knows, maybe I will meet Mr Right out there. You never know.

  Chapter Forty

  Brice

  I look at the crowded waiting area and gesture to the toddlers in linen harnesses. My translator Akua nods and explains what the problem is. Rachel, my American nurse rubs her head to soothe her hangover. I smile. It had been something of a party last night. The homemade cocktails here are something else. The most lethal thing I’ve ever drunk. Akua’s wife had made the food and I hate to tell him that I had spent most of the night in the loo. He had after all slaughtered a goat in Rachel’s honour, so it would be an insult to tell him that it had not agreed with me. I shall miss Rachel terribly. I’ve become close to her over the past four weeks, I must have shared everything with her. That’s the thing with being isolated like this. Other English speaking colleagues become your closest friends in next to no time. She walks towards me and I smile. The heat beats down onto my neck and I shield it with my hat. The humidity is high and the desire to jump under the shower again overwhelms me.

  ‘A little hung-over are we Doctor Edmunds?’ she laughs.

  ‘I blame you. If you weren’t leaving to marry that handsome surgeon I wouldn’t be in this state.’

  She laughs. I envy her leaving and I never thought I’d say that. My four weeks here have been gruelling and I crave the tranquillity of Laos.

  ‘The children first I agree, but we have a man in a serious condition from a snake bite that should take priority,’ she says professionally.

  I turn back to the hospital, a single-storey building, tatty from the outside but clean and neat inside. Inadequate in so many areas, but it is all I have.

  ‘I’m going to miss you so much,’ I say, draping an arm around her shoulder.

  ‘You’ve only got five months here. It will fly by, and I want you to know Brice, that your acceptance of this post was the best thing that happened to Montamo. I know you will make a difference.’

  ‘Not without a damn nurse I won’t.’

  We step into the outpatient department where the doors are flimsy and the roof leaks. The power cuts out as we enter and I curse. Akua sets about getting the generator working. I look at the snake bite first. Rachel calls for antivenin and has a bag of IV fluid attached to him before I have even examined him.

  ‘I don’t know how you can leave me,’ I say miserably.

  ‘You’ll be pleased to know there is a new nurse arriving tomorrow,’ she says. I can tell from her eyes she is smiling even though a mask covers her mouth. ‘Travis told me this morning.’

  ‘Where is the old bugger?’

  ‘In his office with a worse hangover than you.’

  ‘Poor old bugger then,’ I laugh.

  I kneel beside the man and struggle to find a spot on his arm for the injection. I finally find a vein and inject him with the antivenin.

  ‘Let’s hope she is as good as you,’ I mumble.

  ‘Oh I think you’ll like her very much.’

  I run the fluid into the patient as fast as possible and hang a second bag.

  ‘We’ll need anti-tetanus from the cupboard,’ I yell to an Angolan nurse, throwing him the keys to the cupboard.

  ‘I doubt that,’ I say.

  ‘Her name is Harriet Lawson,’ she says nodding at me over the bed.

  I stop with one hand on the fluid bag.

  ‘What?’ I say looking at her in disbelief. Surely not, it must be a joke.

  ‘Of course it may not be your Harriet Lawson but everything indicates it is. Harvey interviewed her. She’s from Battersea and has an excellent nursing degree. She is booked to do tropical diseases on her return. Apparently her first choice was South East Asia but for reasons she wouldn’t go in to she changed her mind and chose Angola.’

  Akua hands me a hypodermic with the anti-tetanus. I feel my hands shake and Rachel takes the hypodermic from me.

  ‘It has to be fate Brice.’

  ‘Or Brice Luck,’ I say, not believing that Brice Luck could stretch even this far. Maybe Rachel is right. Maybe it is fate. After all, what were the chances of me being in Angola? I imagine they were her thoughts too. If Dannie had not been struck down with malaria he would have been here instead of me. I hate to feel glad he was. His downfall is my last chance. I look at my watch.

  ‘She arrives in just over twenty-four hours,’ smiles Rachel. ‘Plenty of time to make this place look romantic.’

  I’ll need more than twenty-four hours.

  ‘She’ll probably get the next flight out,’ I say realistically. ‘Anyway, as soon as she knows I’m the doctor she’ll back out.’

  With that thought in mind I take back the needle and inject the patient. Memories suddenly unleashing themselves of the night I had injected Babyface Jack. Phoebe’s scheming face launches itself at me and I feel myself shake with anger.

  ‘Brice,’ Rachel asks concerned.

  ‘It’s okay,’ I assure her, wiping the man’s wounds with antiseptic.

  The bitch had really stirred it up. How could I explain to Harriet that I had told Phoebe that Harriet was not my type? I didn’t want that evil bitch to know my true feelings.

  ‘Well, the notification came for a Doctor Sku Beadu. So, either they have your name wrong, or you’ve been having a little joke with the volunteers.’

  ‘You’re kidding,’ I say, unable to hide my surprise. ‘I’d forgotten all about that. It was a bit of fun.’

  She laughs.

  ‘God Brice, you’re bloody mad.’

  ‘I can’t believe she’s coming. She’ll want to kill me you know that? She’ll say I deceived her all over again.’

  She shakes her head.

  ‘I told Harvey to give you a fighting chance. So no one has told her your real name. Okay, so she may not stay the full five months but she’ll have to stay twenty-four hours. How long do you need?’

  I feel the excitement building up in me. I hadn’t seen Harriet for five weeks but I hadn’t forgotten the smell and taste of her, and the way her nose twitched. I can’t believe she is coming here.

&
nbsp; ‘How the hell am I supposed to make this place romantic?’ I groan.

  ‘Akua and I have already thought about that.’

  I smile. As much as I will miss Rachel I’m really rather glad she is going. Her replacement sounds far more appealing.

  Chapter Forty-One

  The little Cessna aeroplane rattles and shakes so much that I feel it may fall apart before we arrive. I sit next to the pilot whose name is Jose. His shirt is unbuttoned and in broken English he has been trying to chat me up since take-off from Luanda an hour ago. If his flying skills are anything like his seduction skills I’ll be lucky if I make it to the hospital. I feel a bit like a female Bob Geldof. Off to do my bit. Although, my bit won’t be quite as impressive as his bit was. I’m feeling really scared. Maybe my decision not to go to Asia was a bit rash. I could have given it a go. After all, the chances of Brice Edmunds being the doctor on my placement were pretty slim. God, Harriet, it’s a bit late to be thinking that now isn’t it? I’d had two briefings with the voluntary organisation and Montamo had seemed like a dream then. Two flights later and I find myself boarding the most rickety plane I have ever seen. The intoxicating fumes from it make my stomach turn over. I look out of the window and see just flatness. I’m so tired but fear of the plane crashing or falling apart keeps me awake.

  ‘We land,’ says Jose.

  I look at him in horror.

  ‘What already? But there is nothing down there.’

  The truth is the thought of landing this plane is scaring the shit out of me. I was bloody surprised when we got the thing off the ground and I’m beginning to feel that getting it back onto the ground is going to be something of a feat.

  He nods.

  ‘Yes, we land now.’

  ‘But where?’ I ask, looking for an airfield.

  I look down and see a few little huts. Good God, what have I done? What if this doctor Beadu is a cruel twisted misogynist? That would be so my luck wouldn’t it, or what if he’s an axe-wielding mad eccentric, or even worse, a ghastly bucking pervert?