Skye: an enemies-to-lovers, marriage of convenience, and fake relationship stand alone romance (Signature Sweethearts)
Page 20
“It’s not like I want to do this, Say––”
“Stop. Please. I’m begging you.” The hot cement almost burns my bare thighs as I nearly collapse onto the steps outside my house. I’d worn a jean skirt with a pair of navy blue sneakers tonight because he always loved this outfit. And I loved how confident it made me feel. But now, I’m regretting my clothing choice because it leaves me feeling bare. And right now, I need all the protection I can get.
“Say….”
Dropping my head into my hands, I tangle my fingers into my hair then dig my nails into my scalp. The bite of pain isn’t enough to keep my heart from breaking, though.
“Say…look at me.”
I can’t.
Shaking my head, I squeeze my eyes shut but can still hear his movements as he squats down and sits beside me. I have so many memories with him on this porch. So many smiles. So many stolen kisses. So many late-night talks about our future and everything we’re going to achieve. Together.
I almost want to laugh because I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Babe. You’re killing me right now.”
With a dry laugh, I hastily wipe away a tear from beneath my eye before he can see the physical evidence of what he’s putting me through.
“I’m killing you right now?” I scoff. “Are you kidding me?”
I finally find the courage to look up at him. The pain is clearly etched into his face, but it does nothing to ease the ache in my chest. If anything, it only amplifies it.
“Don’t do this, Owen,” I plead.
“You think I want to do this?” His jaw tightens. “Do you think I want––”
“Then why the hell are you doing this?” I spit, my frustration finally boiling over. “We’ve talked about this. We can make this work. I can––”
“Stop, Say. Just stop. I’ve been fucking sick over this, okay?”
“Don’t play the martyr and say you’re doing this for me. That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“Say––”
“Stop saying my name.” I shake my head in an attempt to erase all the times he’s said my name. The deep grittiness in his voice when he’d whisper it against my ear. The light ease when he’d say it on a laugh. All of it. I just…I can’t hear it anymore. Not from him.
“Baby––”
I laugh, though there isn’t any humor in it. In fact, it hurts more than anything else in the world. “That’s even worse.”
“I’m not going to hold you back, Say. I refuse to.” His voice is quiet. Pained. It’s excruciating.
And only fuels the flames.
“No. You don’t get to say that to me. You just want to enjoy the spotlight. That’s it, isn’t it? You want to be able to go to college and enjoy the new plethora of college girls who are going to be worshipping the new football god at their school. Heaven forbid you stay in a committed relationship, right? Where’s the fun in that?”
“Wanna talk about bullshit, Say?” he snaps. “What the hell are you talking about? I love the shit out of you. You know that! Don’t discount my feelings for you or everything that we’ve shared together. That’s not fair.”
“That’s rich coming from the guy who’s throwing it all away just because he’s moving. Especially when you refuse to let me come!” I shout, my entire body trembling. The air is still a little warm, but I’m so hot with rage right now that I don’t really give a shit.
“And take you away from your family?” he counters. “And your dream school?”
“I would do it for you––”
“And that’s why I can’t let you.”
There’s a finality in his voice, but I refuse to give in.
“Owen, please––”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’m not going to hold you back from your dreams. I’m not going to––”
“You are my dream!” I scream. “And I’m even fine being second to yours. How’s that for irony, huh?” My shoulders deflate as I voice aloud my greatest fear. I’ll always be second to football for Owen. Everything will be. He used to eat, sleep, and breathe football until he saw me one day in high school, and I changed everything. Or at least, I thought I did. Now, I realize I was nothing but a distraction, and he just didn’t know how to get rid of me.
Still, I’m too selfish to let him go. I can’t. I need him. I love him.
“You want to leave and chase your dreams, and I’m okay with that, Owen. I really am. I’m your biggest fan, remember? I’ve told you that I’ll go. I’ll follow you. I’ll get a job. I’ll––”
“Say, you can’t honestly think I’d be able to live with myself if I let you waste your future for me. You need to stay here with your family. You need to go to college. You need to––”
Gritting my teeth, I shake my head. “Don’t tell me what I need. I need you! I want you. I’ve told you this a thousand times. Why won’t you even try a long-distance relationship? You won’t even try,” I repeat, my voice cracking a second time as the tears finally spill down my cheeks, winning the battle I’d been fighting against them. “Why won’t you try?”
“Because you deserve more than sitting around and wasting your time with an asshole like me who can’t put you first.”
“I don’t care about that,” I choke out. My arms pebble with goosebumps as the anger finally burns out and is replaced with an overwhelming grief that’s crippling. I rub my hands along my arms in an attempt to keep the numbness at bay.
“I’m a piece of shit kid, Say. Do you know how guilty I feel? How selfish? You’re in love with a selfish bastard. You’re too good for me. You’ve always been too good for me. You deserve so much more than the life you’d live if you waited for me, and I can’t ask you to wait. It’s not fair to you.”
“That’s not true,” I argue. “And it’s not your choice to make. It’s mine.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he corrects me, though I can see how much it pains him. I look up to see a different boy in front of me than the one I fell in love with.
“Don’t,” I plead. “Don’t break my heart, Owen. Please. I’m begging you.” Raising my hand to my mouth, I chew on the pad of my thumb as I watch the future I’d dreamed of slip through my fingers.
“I love the shit out of you, Say. But I promise that one day, you’ll find someone else who will be able to give you the life you deserve. Not the shitty one you’d be destined to have if you were stuck with my sorry ass.”
I turn to stone as he presses his lips against my forehead for the last time. The heat from his mouth brings an onslaught of memories to the surface, hitting harder than a sledgehammer. Our first date. Our first kiss. The night I gave him everything. The night he promised we’d make it through anything. The night he got the call that he’d received a full-ride scholarship across the country along with a position on the football team that promised he’d be the star. I remember everything. And I feel it all too. Until the pressure of his lips disappears.
The numbness I’d been keeping at bay finally overwhelms me, and I welcome it with open arms.
“I love you, Say,” he repeats on a breath. “I’m so sorry.”
“If you were sorry, you wouldn’t let me go,” I whisper.
“Say––”
“Goodbye, Owen. I really hope that when you look back at this moment, you’ll realize how badly you screwed up and that it’s the biggest mistake you’ll ever make.”
I walk toward my front door and slam it behind me, closing the door on the love of my life and the future I’d thought we’d build together.
Because it’s obvious I was the only one who was willing to fight for it.
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Dear Reader,
I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for taking a chance on Skye, and for giving me the opportunity to share this story with you. I couldn’t do this without you!
I would also be very grateful if you could take the time to leave a review. It’s amazing how such a little thi
ng like a review can be such a huge help to an author!
Thank you so much!!!
-Kelsie
About the Author
Kelsie is a sucker for a love story with all the feels. When she's not chasing words for her next book, you will probably find her reading or, more likely, hanging out with her husband and playing with her three kiddos who love to drive her crazy.
She adores photography, baking, her yorkie, her boxer, and her devon rex. Now that she's actively pursuing her writing dreams, she's set her sights on someday finding the self-discipline to not binge-watch an entire series on Netflix in one sitting.
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