Clutch

by S. M. West

  “Silas.” Her voice is sultry as she bucks against me.

  “Pansy.” My tone has an edge, not knowing if I can control myself if she keeps gliding along my dick.

  It doesn’t matter that we both have clothes on or that we’re in the ocean, the barrier is insignificant if I want inside her. And I do.

  “I…” She sucks in a breath, her lips parting wider as her tongue darts out to lick her bottom lip.

  My lips descend on hers, my blistering hot tongue diving into her mouth, wanting her taste. She’s the ocean, the sky, and everything in between.

  Our tongues duel as my hand travels from her waist to her chest. My fingers pinch one tight, eager nipple through the fabric and she moans into my mouth, pushing her breast further into my palm.

  Our kiss is urgent as her fingers curl into my ass, her sex sliding over my rock-hard cock, frantic and tormenting. I wedge my hand between us and dip my hand into the front of her bikini bottoms; my fingers run the length of her slick pussy. She’s so ready for me. Pansy tips her head back, exposing the sensuous arc of her neck, and sighs my name.

  “Pansy,” I grate, anxious to keep my control.

  With the call of her name, she lifts her head and with a determination I haven’t seen before, her lips land on mine and her fingers weave into my hair. Her kisses are fervent like it’s life or death.

  Boy swims around us, barking excitedly, wanting in on the action. With my hand still in her pants, Pansy grudgingly breaks the kiss.

  “Silas, what if my sisters arrive and see us?” Her pretty mouth frowns.

  I smile at her despite not wanting to end this, because I understand. She kisses the side of my neck, her mouth burning my skin in the best way imaginable, lighting a fire within me. I force my hand out of her bikini.

  She writhes once more against my erection, and I groan, steadying her hips to stop the painfully tantalizing motion.

  “Okay, fine.”

  With one more kiss, I release my hold, and her soft, sweet body slides down mine. Life has gotten in the way and made our time even more precious. It always does. The band demands my time. Her work, and now her sisters, are taking up her time. Soon it will also be school, and I’ll slip down her list of priorities.

  I meant what I said; I’ll cheer her on and make sure she stays true to her dreams, even if that means I come last. All I want is to be on her list. To be among the things she wants, that matter to her.

  By the time we’re showered and changed, everyone has arrived, and Pansy heads over to talk to her sisters.

  “You’ve got a beautiful place,” Vinny says.

  “Thanks. Can I get you a drink?”

  “Nah, I’m good.” He holds up his beer.

  “So, what do you do when you’re not teaching?” I ask.

  “I love to teach, but I also miss the water and the research, so I help out my colleagues and others in the sector when I can. In fact, I’ve applied for a sabbatical for this year to join a research trip to South America.”

  “Really? Sounds interesting. Does Pansy know you might not be teaching this year? You’re one of the reasons she wants to go to UCLA.” I try to move past the twinge in my chest at knowing Vinny is important to her.

  Vinny cocks his head to the side, brown eyes studying me. I’m not sure what I said, but he looks at me like I’ve insulted him.

  “You don’t think Pansy is serious about her studies?” he asks.

  “That isn’t what I said or meant.” I cross my arms, then immediately relax my stance, unfolding my arms. My body language is defensive and not what I intend. “She is very serious, but she admires and respects you. I think she sees you as a mentor and I wonder if she knows your plans.”

  Vinny nods, his features relaxing as his lips curve into a smile. “That’s nice to hear. And yes, she does know. She was a bit disappointed, but I’m not the reason she’s pursuing this. And it’s not like I won’t teach there again, I’ll be back. Can you keep a secret?” He glances around to see who is near.

  “Sure.” I lean in, eager for what he has to say.

  “The college approved my sabbatical. I leave in two weeks for Uruguay to study the dead zone.”

  I have no clue what that means, but his eyes gleam with happiness. “Wow, that’s great. Pansy doesn’t know?”

  “No, not yet. I’m going to ask her to join the team. It’ll be about six to eight months, and I have approval for two assistants. One will help with the data, cleaning gear, and other stuff. It’s not glamorous, but you don’t need all the formal training, and I had Pansy in mind for the position. She would learn a lot.”

  “Wow, that’s great.” I parrot my previous comment as something heavy and uncomfortable twists in my gut. She would be gone for six months or more. I already miss her.

  “Do you think she’ll come?”

  “I don’t see why not. It sounds like a great opportunity.”

  My smile is forced, and swallowing becomes difficult. The possibility of losing her rears its head like a cobra ready to strike. I won’t stop her if she wants to go. Damn, I’ll encourage her every step of the way, even if it means losing her.

  We have a great lunch with fish tacos, chicken tostadas, and Lucia’s delicious margaritas. Once the table is cleared, Pansy, Daisy, and Vinny opt to walk Boy, while I have to take a call from my lawyer.

  I come back onto the deck to find Ivy. I nod to her and start for the stairs down to the beach when she approaches me.

  “Silas, wait, may I have a word?”

  “Sure.”

  I lie. I would rather have a root canal, but I will try for Pansy. Ivy and I had a few words months ago in that desert police station, and it didn’t take me long to determine that I didn’t like her.

  “Pansy finally has her act together.” Her nasal voice is irritating and her tone condescending.

  Where Pansy is warm and inviting, Ivy is cold and standoffish. Besides their flowery names and the tinge of red in their hair, I find it hard to believe they’re sisters.

  “She’s always had her act together if you ask me.”

  She waves her hand at me like I’m a nuisance. “Hardly. But marine biology is a great profession, although it doesn’t necessarily pay well, depending on where she decides to focus. And knowing Pansy, she’ll choose the lowest income.” She sits and runs her hands down her skirt, smoothing out the fabric. “Don’t mess this up. Stay out of her way.”

  “Pardon?” My tone is sharp like the edge of a knife and Ivy takes note, arching a brow and pursing her red lips.

  “Don’t get all offended. You know what I mean. This is a fling for you, but Pansy gets easily caught up in things, and from what I can tell, she really likes you. Don’t string her along, she’s a master at self-sabotage. And a pretty boy like you comes with a huge caution sign that will have Pansy running straight toward you.”

  Folding my arms over my chest, I clench my jaw to prevent myself from telling Ivy to go to hell. While I’d like nothing better than to tell this chick off, I’m working on my temper, and alienating Pansy’s sister, no matter how much she deserves it, is not a wise move.

  “This is not a game to me. Pansy is not a fling. Your sister means a lot to me. I’ve never been this serious about a woman before, and I don’t intend on messing anything up for her.”

  Vinny’s news flashes in my mind, and my resolution to support and encourage her to go on the trip solidifies. I meant what I said, her happiness and dreams come first.

  “I don’t think you understand…”

  “Yes, I do. But you don’t understand that I will support your sister in any way I can. Her dreams matter to me, and I don’t intend to get in the way or mess anything up.”

  “Ivy,” Pansy says from the top of the staircase.

  Our eyes lock, and Ivy swivels her head to face her sister. Pansy only has eyes for me. Concern and compassion coat her features and I smile, letting her know it’s okay.

  “What?” Ivy stands, her back to me, han
ds on her hips. “I’m only looking out for you.”

  She marches into the house before Pansy can respond, leaving us alone.

  “Sorry.” Pansy is at my side, her hands around my waist, as she lightly pecks my bare chest.

  “Don’t apologize for her. Besides, I’m a big boy, I can handle Ivy.”

  “A big boy, huh?” She waggles her eyebrows and smirks.

  “And you know it.”

  “I sure do.” We kiss, soft and brief. “I can’t wait until she leaves.”

  “Hey, don’t let her get to you. I know this may sound weird, but she was just looking out for you. Her delivery and attitude is abysmal, but I do think she cares about you in her own warped way.”’

  Pansy chuckles, furrowing her brow before resting her head on my shoulder. “Yeah, but I think her need is more about her than me.”

  “That may be true.” I squeeze her side. “Let’s join the others.” Taking her hand, I lead her down the stairs onto the beach, knowing it will help with putting Ivy behind her.

  It’s well past seven in the evening when I’m finally done with work. My feet ache, and my hair and clothes reek of grease and sweat. I need a shower. But first, food. I’m starving. Heading to the office to gather my things, I stick my head in the kitchen. Bunny is chopping onions and whistling to Coltrane.

  “Hey, Bunny, can I have a veggie omelet?”

  He glances up from his task, his pearly whites beaming at me as he winks and nods. “Anything for you, flower girl,” he rumbles in his gravelly baritone.

  “Thank you!”

  Once I’ve freshened up, feeling more human, I check my phone and see there’s a text sent an hour ago.

  Silas: Are you working tonight?

  I quickly reply.

  Me: Just got off. I’m going to eat here with Ivy, and then home. How late are you working?

  By the time I get out front, Callie’s coming from the kitchen with my dinner. I sit at the table Ivy has occupied for the last hour. She just showed up and had dinner while I finished my shift. So far, all has been good. She hasn’t made one derogatory comment and was even civil to Betty and Callie.

  “I wish I was off. We could all grab a bite or go for drinks.” Callie pouts.

  “I’m too tired.” I shovel the hot omelet into my mouth.

  “Slow down. You’re going to burn your tongue or choke with the way you’re inhaling that.” Ivy scrunches her nose and rears back a bit, like I might throw up on her.

  I laugh and blush. She’s right. “Sorry. I didn’t eat anything on break.”

  “You really should snack regularly. Just slow down, it’s not going anywhere,” Ivy says.

  Callie laughs, nodding in agreement while leaving to greet the couple that’s just come in. My phone vibrates with another text.

  Silas: I’m done in an hour. Want to stay at my place?

  Me: Can’t. Sister time :(

  Silas: Boy misses you.

  Me: Just Boy?

  Silas: Lucia and Jorge too.

  Me: No one else?

  Silas: I ALWAYS miss you. Let me come pick you up. I’m leaving now.

  Me: Can’t wait to see you. xo

  Silas: Me too.

  “Hey, Pansy, how are you?” Vinny stands over me.

  “Vinny! Did we make plans? I’m a wasteland right now.” I tap my head and laugh.

  “No, no. Hi, Ivy,” he says, and she returns the greeting. “I wanted to drop by and share some news.”

  “What’s up?” He takes the seat beside me.

  “The college approved my sabbatical to join the research team!”

  “Oh my God, that’s amazing!” I jump up and swing my arms around him.

  Chuckling, he tightens his hold. He’s been working on this for some time now, and this is huge.

  “Yeah, it really is.” We break apart. “But, it gets better.”

  “What?”

  “I want you to be one of my assistants.”

  “What?” My eyes widen, incredulous.

  “That’s fantastic,” Ivy says.

  “I’ve got a spot for someone to help with the research, and there’s lots to do. An extra pair of hands and a brilliant mind would really help.”

  “But I don’t know anything. I’d just get in the way.”

  He grins. “No, you wouldn’t. You’d learn a lot, and this will help you figure out if you want to do research.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say yes, you silly girl,” Ivy adds.

  Vinny and I ignore her. “Pansy, it’s been a while since I’ve come across someone this enthusiastic about my profession, even after knowing how much work is involved.” Taking both of my hands in his, the corners of his eyes crinkle with a smile. “You remind me of me. I want to feed this passion.”

  Ivy starts rattling off questions, all of which Vinny graciously answers while I stare at my empty plate, trying to process it all. What would it mean for school? I thought I’d start in the fall, but September is only a few months away. I don’t even know if there’s space for me in the program with it being so late in the year.

  “I couldn’t start school this year,” I say randomly.

  “Yeah. You could start next year. But this opportunity would put you ahead of many of the students. And it’ll help in finding a job.”

  “You have to do this,” Ivy says as the door chimes.

  Silas walks in, and I can no longer contain my excitement. I launch myself at him, and he welcomes me with open arms. He twirls me around and chuckles as he sets my feet on the ground.

  “Now, that’s what I call a hello.”

  “Silas, I’m so glad you’re here.”

  My lips cover his in a long, deep kiss. His hands grip me tightly, and even though he has no clue what’s got me so exhilarated, he’s all in. As I end the kiss, it hits me. I can’t tell him that I’m going to be away for close to six months right here, in front of these people. Then the thought of Ivy slams into my other thoughts. She could easily blurt this out without any consideration.

  “You feel so good,” he murmurs into my neck. “I’d like to think seeing me has you so happy, but I’m not that much of an egotistical ass. What’s up?”

  “Well, Mister Ego, it is you.” It’s not a total lie, and I bite the inside of my mouth as punishment for bending the truth.

  “Tell him,” Ivy pipes up from behind me, and I twirl to shoot her a glare.

  “Tell me what?” Silas now has confirmation that there is something more going on.

  “It’s nothing. I’ll tell you later. Let’s get out of here.” Turning to Vinny and doing something rude, but necessary, I ask, “Would you mind driving Ivy to her hotel?”

  “Pansy!” Ivy protests at the same time Vinny agrees.

  Fortunately, Silas forgets the last few minutes once he knows I’m coming home with him. We quickly say goodbye with my promise to call Vinny.

  I don’t mention the trip that night, and Silas doesn’t ask. There are Silas and Daisy to consider, and as amazing as it sounds, maybe now isn’t the right time?

  ***

  The next few days fly by, and before I know it, Ivy is leaving, and I’m driving her to the airport. Silas is at the studio, and I could have asked Jorge to drive or take us, but I didn’t want to subject anyone else to the torture. Daisy begged off joining us, claiming she had some last-minute shopping to do before her flight to Europe. Yeah, right.

  “Pansy, you need to go on that research assignment with Vinny,” Ivy says, breaking the silence.

  “Ivy, I haven’t decided yet. I think I want to start school. It’s a long road ahead, and if I want my Masters and Ph.D., I’ve got many years of school.”

  “It’s Silas, isn’t it?”

  We’re nearing LAX, and I quickly give myself a pep talk, that I can make it until then. Only a few more minutes.

  “No, it’s not just Silas. I have a life here. I’m not sure if now is the right time.”

  “Is it Daisy t
oo? If it is, know that I’ll be here for her. She won’t be alone.”

  I can only imagine how happy Daisy will be to know that. It’s mean to think, but it’s the last thing Daisy wants. I pull up to the curb and put the car in park.

  “Pansy, don’t throw your life away for some man,” Ivy says before getting out of the car.

  I pop the trunk and join her at the back of the car. Once she has her bag and I’ve closed the trunk, she studies me long and hard. Taking her hands in mine, I use the opportunity to say what I mean once and for all. To show Ivy, even if she doesn’t want to know who I am or to accept it.

  “Ivy, the thing is, it’s my life to do with as I please. I appreciate your concern, but I don’t need a mother. I had one, an amazing one, and she taught me to follow my heart and trust in myself. I know what I’m doing. It may not be what you would do or what you would want for me, but again, it’s my life. Thanks for visiting and I’ll call you soon.”

  This time, the tears are real. Water gleams in her eyes, and she gives me a thin smile. “Okay.” Her face is still tight, but I can tell she’s trying to meet me halfway. “And you’re right; Mom did instill in us to follow our hearts. I won’t stand in the way. That’s been my intention. I suppose I was mothering and could be overbearing. I’ll try to keep my nose out of things that don’t concern me.”

  I laugh and gently squeeze her fingers. “That would be appreciated.”

  This time we both laugh before we embrace. I watch as she heads into the terminal.

  Once I leave the airport, I head for the studio. Silas has asked me to come numerous times, and I’ve never taken him up on it. I want to see him now. I text him that I’m on my way.

  I push through the doors into the modern, yet cold reception space of the record label’s office, with white walls and floors, lots of glass and metal. The tall, lean guy behind the desk calls out a greeting in between sucking on a lollipop. Brushing his brown hair from his eyes, he smiles, removing the candy from his mouth with a pop.

  “May I help you?”

  Standing with his arms resting on the desk, he leans toward me as I near him.

  “I’m here to see Trojan. Bianca Ramirez is expecting me.”

  “And your name is?” His lips slide into a flirty grin.