“So, yes, I want to move here. Yes, I want to live with you. And yes, I’ll quit the Peace Corps.”
“Mouth, Anaya.”
“What?”
“Give me your mouth, baby.”
I didn’t wait for her to lean down, I knifed up and took what I needed.
“Again?” Her lips tipped up and my cock twitched.
“You cannot for one second think you can give me what you just gave me and not think I’m not gonna give you something else.”
“What are you gonna give me, Kyle?” she whispered against my lips.
Damn, I loved when she did that.
“Everything, sweetheart.”
Chapter 36
“You’re really staying?” Emerson asked.
“Yeah.” I smiled at my friend. “We talked about it last night.”
“Thank God. Tatiana and I were worried.”
God, that felt good. So good in fact, I felt wetness hit my eyes. I’d never had this, not ever. Though it was my fault because I knew Evie and Kalee had tried to give it to me but I’d just pushed it away. And that sucked. What was worse, I’d never get to make it right with Kalee. But I could and needed to with Evie. She had to know how sorry I was.
“So, I guess we’ll be roommates for a while.”
“Guess what?” Emmy greeted Tatiana as she came into the kitchen.
“What?” Tatiana grumbled, looking a little pale.
“What’s the matter? You look sick,” I asked.
Tatiana looked between Emerson and me and shook her head. “You first. Why do you both look so excited?”
“Anaya’s staying. She’s moving in.” Emerson completed her announcement with a fist bump in the air and her silliness made me giggle. I’d never seen Emerson so excited.
“That is good news. I figured with the way the guys were behaving last night you’d both be grumpy this morning.”
“Yeah, Thaddeus was a little bent outta shape. But, you know… I have ways to turn his frown upside down.” Emerson smiled and winked.
“Yeah, I bet you do.” Tatiana smiled. “Happy you’re staying.”
“Thanks. Now why do you look like you’re gonna be sick?”
“Are we alone?” Tatiana whispered.
“Yeah. All the guys went into the office. The Emilio guy went into witness protection and he spilled his guts. Thaddeus told me they probably wouldn’t be back until dinner.”
Kyle had told me the same thing. He also told me this was good news and possibly the break they needed to move things along. Everyone wanted Omni dismantled. I’d shared my skepticism with Kyle that I didn’t see how it would be possible with all the fingers branching out. It seemed like there were so many people involved it would be impossible. But he assured me that when the top players were taken out the rest would crumble.
If Kyle said the team could do it, I believed him. I was learning there was nothing these men couldn’t do. Especially when those they loved were in the mix. He’d also explained Monica’s tattoo to me, the peacock feather on her back that had sent Emerson over the edge. All the top players in the group had the same tattoo. It was kind of freaky and left me with more questions about Monica, ones that I’d never get the answers to because she was gone.
Garrett was positive the Tremblays had sold their daughter. If not directly, then they’d received compensation after the kidnapping. Something that wouldn’t be answered either, considering all of them were now dead. I had to admit the double suicide made them look guilty as sin but I couldn’t wrap my head around parents selling their child. And it was something I hoped I never could.
The mysterious computer genius John “Tex” Keegan, a man whom I’d never met and Kyle had said I likely never would, had agreed with Garrett. Which was totally sad because that meant Monica had been a victim and had spent ten years in hell doing whatever she had to do to survive. I still didn’t harbor any guilt. Sadness, yes. But seeing the bruising around Emerson’s throat reminded me I’d done the right thing.
“Okay, so…” Tatiana stopped and licked her lips. “I’m not sure. I mean, I think I know, I’m late, I don’t feel—”
“Ohmigod!” Emerson’s eyes were round in shock. “Are you pregnant?”
“I think so,” Tatiana whispered.
“Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy…shit,” Emmy chanted. “Brooks is gonna flip his shit.”
“Ya’ think?” Tatiana deadpanned.
“Shut up, you know he’ll be over the moon,” Emmy returned.
“Will he? We weren’t exactly trying.”
Holy cow, Tatiana was pregnant. It didn’t take long for my excitement to turn into envy. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d gone from never thinking about wanting kids to twice now thinking about wanting a family. Something I had no business wondering about for a variety of reasons, the first being I didn’t think I’d be a good mother considering I’d never had one of those. Never even had a good female role model for any length of time.
The other, arguably just as big of a reason, was I’d known Kyle a hot minute and while I was certain how I felt about him, and where we were going. That was in a healthy direction and we were doing it together. We’d never talked about kids or marriage. Now was not the time with everything so new to bring it up, so I wouldn’t—even though I was now very curious about his thoughts on the subject.
“But obviously you weren’t doing much to prevent it,” Emmy shot back and Tatiana’s cheeks turned pink and a hint of a smile formed.
“We weren’t,” she confirmed.
“How late are you?” I asked.
“A month?” Tatiana laughed. “I might’ve been in denial.”
“Girl, that’s not denial, that’s straight-up crazy.” Emerson shook her head. “You get yourself sorted and Anaya and I are going to the store to get you a pregnancy test.”
“No way!”
“What do you mean no way?”
“Because if I take it and it’s positive, I’ll have to tell Brooks. Right now, I don’t know so I’m not lying or keeping a secret.”
I couldn’t stop staring at Tatiana, a woman I admired greatly for her strength and determination, and there was she was freaked the hell out. Bold-as-brass Tatiana Miller. It was then it truly hit me—even the bravest of women still had moments of insecurity and it didn’t make them any less brave.
“Are you happy?” I asked.
Tatiana’s body rocked back and she scrunched her face. “Of course I am.”
“Then stop freaking out, take the test to confirm you’re pregnant, then give Brooks the good news so he can be happy, too.”
“You’re right.” Tatiana nodded. “I don’t know what I’d do without the two of you.”
Shit, I felt that. It seared a golden path from my chest to my stomach and made me feel funny. I’d never had that either, gratitude from a friend.
“So? Can we go get you a test?” Emerson impatiently asked.
“Yeah and hurry. Oh, and while you’re at the store, please grab me Doritos. You know how the guys feel about, ‘my body is my temple, no junk food shall pass my lips’ and I’m dying for a bag.”
She was right about that. I’d never seen a fridge so full of healthy food in my life. Not that I ate a bunch of junk, but if I had to eat broccoli one more night I was considering forming a picket line in front of the kitchen.
“Okay. Pregnancy test and Doritos. Anything else?” Emerson asked. “Pickles? Ice cream? Ketchup?”
“Ketchup?” Tatiana laughed.
“What? I don’t know, I’ve never been pregnant. I thought you’re supposed to have weird cravings or something.”
“And ketchup is weird?”
“It is if you put it on your ice cream.”
No. Just no. That was so gross I wasn’t going to give ketchup and ice cream another thought.
“Let’s go, weirdo,” I told Emmy.
“I can’t wait to find out if we’re gonna be aunties.” Emerson tugged my hand but I was too lig
ht-headed to move.
“Aunties?” I breathed.
“Well, if she’s popping a kid out, we get to be aunts,” Emerson explained.
“I’ve never… I mean… an aunt.”
“Hey,” Tatiana whispered, now standing close. “You know you’re family.”
“Family,” I repeated. “I don’t—”
I didn’t get the rest of my words out before a sob broke free—torn from my soul—and what came with it was dark and ugly. Demons I’d hidden for so long. There had been so much that Kyle had freed, so much weight he’d taken, it had allowed me to start to heal. To love and be loved by a great man.
But this? The last of what I’d been holding onto, only the deep bond of friendship could break.
A sisterhood.
A family.
And I was going to be an auntie.
“What is it with the three of you?” Max asked over dinner.
Which I’m happy to report did not include broccoli but instead asparagus. That I could handle as long as the guys didn’t insist on it the next five days in a row.
“Nothing.” Emerson tried but very poorly executed her denial.
“No, there’s something up. Spit it out,” he continued.
“So, is everyone okay with me moving in?” I tried, and again poorly, to change the subject. I knew this when five men turned to stare at me.
“Don’t be dumb,” Max returned.
“Don’t call me dumb, asshole.”
“Right. Well, don’t ask dumb questions. Where else would you stay?”
“At a hotel? Get my own apartment? Sleep in my car?”
“Now you’re just being stupid, which confirms that the three of you are up to something. So again, spit it out.”
“I’m not stupid.”
“Sweetheart, give it up. You three are so transparent it’s not even funny. And considering Tatiana used to be CIA, I have to say it’s surprising she’s the one that looks like she’s getting ready to bust at the seams. Emerson’s sitting over there with a shit eating grin like she knows the secret, which means it would take Thad very little effort to make her spill. And you’re over there talking about sleeping in your car, which just to point out, you don’t even own one, or in a hotel, which is never gonna happen.”
“I’m not gonna spill the secret no matter what Thaddeus tries to do,” Emerson said.
Five men chuckled and Tatiana looked like she wanted to smack Emmy for admitting there was a secret to be had.
“Right,” Max said through his hilarity.
“Oops.” Emerson’s hand went over her mouth and Brooks’ eyes cut to his wife.
“You got something you wanna share, Doll?”
“Nope.” Tatiana popped her P and I couldn’t hold back my laugh.
“Tatiana,” he warned.
My beautiful, pregnant friend looked at me before she glanced at Emerson with a raised brow. And Emmy and I both nodded.
“Oh, fuck, they’re talking, whole conversation with eyebrows and chin lifts. We’re fucked. Totally and completely,” Max muttered.
“This is not something new,” Thad reminded him.
Brooks was starting to look annoyed and Kyle was shaking his head smiling.
“You really wanna know?” Tatiana teased.
“Stop fucking around,” Brooks grouched.
I sat back in my seat and my gaze sliced back to Kyle. Damn, he was hot. I didn’t think I’d ever get over how good-looking he was. And he was all mine. He’d told me so. And he’d shown me with his actions so many times he’d made me believe in ways that I’d never forget. Not ever.
And because he gave to me so completely, I’d given him all of me. All the good, the bad, the ugly, all my love. I’d laid myself bare and he liked what he saw so much that he claimed it all for himself.
I couldn’t have gotten any luckier.
He’d given me his time, his attention, his heart, his friends, his family. Therefore, he’d given me the world, and I’d make sure he wouldn’t regret it, not even for a second.
Tatiana huffed. “Okay, fine, if you’re sure you wanna know, Daddy.”
A mystified silence descended and I wasn’t entirely sure there was a man sitting around the table who was breathing.
“The two of you trying your hand at Daddy/baby girl kink?” Max snarked.
My lips quirked and I bit back a laugh. Okay, that was funny, but not what Tatiana was going for.
“You serious?” Brooks growled.
I tore my eyes from Kyle’s beaming smile; he totally understood what Tatiana was saying to Brooks.
Right there in front of us all his face showed a thousand emotions, all of them good, all of them happy. Then just as suddenly as his smile appeared, it was gone. He was up out of his chair and he was stalking toward his wife. Her chair was pulled out, she was scooped up with a surprised yelp, and off they went.
“No one come upstairs!” Brooks shouted as he rounded the corner, and Emerson and I exploded in fits of laughter.
“What the fuck just happened?” Max asked, and Emmy and I bust out into another round.
“Got shit to do,” Declan announced and stood. “Be back later.”
Before I could get myself under control, the door slammed and Thad and Kyle exchanged an unhappy look.
“Seriously?” Max asked. “They playing some kinky game I should know about? We share a wall, I need to know. If he’s up there tying her ass up making it red, I wanna different room. I can’t sleep through that shit. It’s bad enough I can hear the rest of you fucking like rabbits. Literally fucking… like rabbits. Someone’s sporting for some headphones so I can sleep.”
“Are you dumb?” I repeated Max’s earlier question back to him.
“What? I’m telling the truth. All of you are loud.”
“They’re not playing a sex game, jackass.” Thad chuckled.
“She’s pregnant,” I announced.
“No shit?” Max smiled.
“No shit,” I confirmed.
“Damn. That’s good news. Maybe I’ll get some sleep after all.”
“At least for the next few months,” Kyle added.
Kyle looked back at me with eyes dancing with humor and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Something that looked like the same longing I had when I was holding baby Eric. My stomach pitched and my heart thundered in my chest.
A dream I never thought I’d dream formed, one that included little boys that had light brown hair and green-flecked eyes. And maybe a little girl to teach to be strong and brave.
But mostly I was dreaming about the bright future I never thought I’d have.
Chapter 37
“All done,” Anaya said and taped the last box closed.
There was something to be said about a thirty-two-year-old woman who had an apartment with nice furniture, nice sheets and towels, even nicer stoneware, but had not a damn thing that could be considered personal, save the hundreds of paperback books. All of which Anaya had wrapped like they were priceless treasures.
No pictures on the walls, no framed photos, no picture albums.
And what it said was nothing good.
It served as a reminder Anaya’s life had been bleak and lonely. Two things it never should’ve been. Two things it would never be again.
We hadn’t discussed it, but for now we’d stay in the house Zane was renting for the team, and that was fine in the short-term. But as soon as things settled, I was getting my woman a house, and after I planted her ass in it, I was taking it upon myself to give her everything she never had, and that included pictures on the walls—framed photos of us, her with the girls, me with the team, our friends’ kids.
And one day, our own.
I wanted her surrounded with family. Every day I wanted her to wake up and before she drank her first cup of coffee, to look around her house and know she was loved.
And that was happening soon.
“You want kids?”
Anaya jerked
back and looked at me like I was crazy and I suppose the way I blurted out my question made me a little nuts. But what the hell? I had to go with it.
“Um…I think so. You?”
“I never wanted kids.” Anaya’s shock faded and sadness started to creep in. “I always thought they were cute but someone else’s cute, not mine. Thought they’d be a burden and I like my freedom. But that was also based on the assumption I’d never have a wife. So things change.”
“You never thought you’d have a wife?”
Damn, she was cute when her face contorted in disbelief.
“Nope. Never thought I’d want to be tied down. But that was before I met you. Never felt an inkling of what my friends had described as love—until I met you. Never had a burning desire to be close to a woman—until you. Never pictured myself with a family—until you came into my life. So, no, I never wanted kids—until I fell in love with you. But now, I have to tell you, I want them. I’m not saying tomorrow or even this year, but yes, Anaya, I want children. So I need to know if that’s something you want, too.”
“I never had a mom,” she whispered, and the sadness I heard nearly brought me to my knees.
“Know that, sweetheart.”
“What if I’m not a good one?”
Damn, that was a direct hit center mass and the bitter it left in my mouth tasted like shit. There was no reason for as sweet and strong as Anaya was to doubt herself. About anything—ever.
“Come here, sweetheart.”
Anaya remained frozen, and when I stepped closer, she put her hand up. “I’m being serious.”
Kyle Page 26