Trouble Loves Company

by Angie Daniels

  Paul was due to get home before eight. I remember being asleep, dead to the world, when I felt someone yank me out of the bed. I startled to bright lights and Paul standing all up in my face, screaming and yelling. My heart was hammering in my chest. I was about nine at the time, half-asleep and scared out of my wits because I had no idea why he was yelling at me. All I did was lie there and think, what did I do this time?

  It took a while, but I finally realized Paul was yelling at me because he had locked himself out the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking at the door. Can you believe that shit? It was my fault. It was the dead of winter. Realizing he didn’t have his keys, he started banging on the door, but no one came. After a while, he went to one of the neighbors to use their phone. A long time had passed before Lisa heard the phone, got up, and answered it. She went down and let him in. Next thing I know, he’s screaming and hollering at me. Not my brother, who was still sleeping peacefully in the other room. Just me. Come on. I was a little girl. And what I couldn’t understand was how the hell it was my fault he locked himself out and I didn’t hear him banging at the door. To this day, I haven’t forgotten that night or the way he treated me, and I never will because I’ve never slept that hard again. I’m too afraid.

  The last time I saw Paul was at Lisa’s funeral. Afterwards, we had a big dinner at the church we attended with Big Mama while she was alive. I was joking with John about Deacon Davis falling asleep during the funeral and how loud he was snoring before his wife shrugged him with her elbow. I mentioned that he sounded a lot like my husband. Then my stepfather had the nerve to get all in my Kool-Aid.

  “I know that’s not my daughter talking about the way someone snores.”

  I rolled my eyes and John laughed. “The way Renee says it, she doesn’t snore.”

  “That girl could keep Snow White awake.” Paul chuckled, rumbling his big belly. “I remember one time I was locked out.” He turned to me, eyes dancing with amusement “You remember that time I worked late and couldn’t get in?”

  How could I forget, I wanted to tell him. It was one of the most traumatic times of my childhood, I wanted to scream. Instead I sat back and listened as he told John the story. I wanted so badly to yell at him about how he had made me feel. But I didn’t because it was Lisa’s funeral and it would have broken her heart. She wanted so badly for me and Paul to make peace and get along. But it isn’t that simple. I just can’t forgive him for turning his back on me. He chose to be my father, not the other way around. I didn’t ask him to put his name on my birth certificate, and yet, he wasn’t there when I needed him.

  A tear slid from my eye down to the pillow as I remembered Bernice walking out on us and coming home to find that disconnection notice on the door. Paul drove down from Chicago to pick up Lisa and my brother but not me. I wasn’t welcome in his house. I was barely seventeen, but it didn’t matter. He took them and left me behind. I had no choice but to move in with Mario’s crazy, young ass. Here I was, going to high school and working two part-time jobs. No more running track. No more hanging out with friends and being a teenager. Instead I was cooking, cleaning, and washing Mario’s dirty drawers. My senior year was a nightmare. He used to knock me up the right and left sides of my head because I wanted to still be a child and hang out with friends and make my own decisions, but he was so possessive and crazy, all I could do was obey his rules. But what could I have done? I had nowhere else to go and was too ashamed to complain. In the meantime, I tried to maintain my relationship with Lisa and Andre, but Paul refused to let me call his house. I rarely got to see them, yet Lisa wanted me to make peace with Paul because now he’s going to church and a changed man. Well, if he’d changed that much, then he would have picked up the phone by now and apologized for not being a father when I needed him.

  I rolled over on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. I don’t know why I let him still get to me. All I know is I’ll never treat my kids that way. I try to give Tamara and Quinton everything I never had growing up—adequate clothing, family time together, and love. Lots of unconditional love.

  I think about Andre and the way he blames our mother for ruining his life. He thinks Paul is pitiful, but my brother doesn’t hold anything against him. Andre and I have never been close. He calls every once in a while, and I remember to send him a Christmas card, but other than that neither of us have made much of an effort to be closer. Now that Lisa’s gone, you would think we’d cling to one another, but that’s not the case. The only people I have in my life are John, the kids, and my friends. For someone who everyone thinks has it all, my life is pretty pathetic.

  Chapter 18

  Danielle

  Danielle pulled into her driveway. For once, all of the lights were off, and everything was quiet. With Ron out of her life and Portia gone for two weeks, her house would be exactly the same way she left it. This morning, she’d put Portia on a plane to Memphis to visit her oldest sister, Constance. She’d been visiting her aunt every summer since she was five, and even though she was pregnant, she still insisted on going. On the ride to the airport, they had discussed the baby and her decision to keep it. Although the last thing she wanted to be doing was raising another baby, Danielle was strongly against abortions. Nope. She might as well get ready to take on the role of grandmother while Portia finished high school. While driving, she had wanted to call her sister and give her a heads-up, but Portia objected, insisting on telling her auntie herself.

  Danielle climbed out of her car, feeling like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. She knew that the very second Portia told her aunt she was pregnant, Constance would blow her top and was going to be calling her just so she could chew her out. Constance believed since she had successfully raised three girls without a man, her younger sister could at least manage to do the same with just one.

  Her stomach grumbled and Danielle placed a palm across it. No more tacos for her. She still couldn’t believe she’d come barging out of the closet, rushing to use the toilet while Reverend Brown was getting his poopy diaper changed. She smiled despite the pain in her stomach. She had seen some wild, kinky stuff in her life, but that one took the cake. She and Renee would be laughing about that for a long time.

  After entering the house, she went to the kitchen and removed a bottle of milk of magnesia from the refrigerator and took a swallow. While leaning against the counter, she remembered the look on Reverend Brown’s face when they stumbled out of that closet. Laughing, she took another swallow. The moment was priceless. She knew it was wrong, but she actually felt good about what they had done to Leroy. He deserved it. Tommy was certain to have that tape circulated in no time.

  Her doorbell rang. She put the bottle back in the refrigerator and went to the door. It was Calvin. “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself. I was in the neighborhood and saw your car, so I thought I’d stop and see how you were doing.”

  Stepping aside, Danielle gestured for him to come in. “I was just getting ready to curl up on the couch. So, come on in and make yourself at home while I go and change into something a little more comfortable.” The jeans she was wearing were too tight for comfort around her belly. Danielle went to her room, her heart beating a mile a minute. Despite the fact Calvin used to date Renee, she wanted him, and she wanted him bad, and maybe part of that was because she knew her relationship with Ron was over.

  After taking a quick shower, she slipped into a pair of cotton low ride shorts and a wifebeater. She generously spread scented mango lotion on her legs and arms, then walked back into the living room, where Calvin was laughing at something on television. Whatever the program was, it was quickly forgotten when he spotted her coming down the hall.

  “You smell good,” he commented as she flopped down on the couch beside him.

  “Thanks.” Danielle curled her legs beneath her and pretended to be watching television, all the time aware that he was staring at her.

  “If I’m not mistaken, I think I saw someone driving y
our car this afternoon. A woman?”

  She groaned. “Yep. That’s Ron’s mama. I saw her, too.”

  His brow rose curiously. “And you’re okay with that?”

  “No,” she began around a heavy sigh, “but I just don’t feel like dealing with them right now. I’ve got too many other things on my mind.”

  “Anything I can help you with?” Calvin patted his thighs and signaled for her to drape her legs over them. She did and he reached for her feet and began to massage them.

  “Portia’s pregnant,” she announced with an exaggerated sigh.

  “What?” He stalled from massaging before starting again. “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, so am I.”

  “Who’s the father?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t think she knows, which is sad. She wants to keep the baby.”

  “How do you feel about that?”

  “I don’t believe in abortions, so I’m okay with that.”

  “Good. Neither do I.”

  “Between my mother and me, we can help her take care of the baby so she can graduate from high school.”

  “That’s going to mean a lot to her. She might not realize it now, but she will eventually.”

  Danielle nodded and pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I want her to have a chance out here. You can’t do much of nothin’ without a high-school diploma, even working at McDonald’s.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “I really want her to go to college, but that’s only if she still wants to go.”

  “What’s her father saying about this?”

  Danielle looked him straight in the eyes. “He’s pissed off and blamin’ everything on me, like I can watch her every hour of the day. When I told him, she decided to keep the baby, he wasn’t too happy about the idea. The thought of teen pregnancy is embarrassing to him. Anyway, after he got done screaming, he agreed to help.”

  “I can’t blame him,” he commented while stroking his chin. “If she was my daughter, I’d be upset and looking for the mothafucka responsible.”'

  “That’s exactly what he said.”

  “Can you blame the man?”

  Danielle thought about it a moment. “No,” she finally admitted. “I don’t blame him at all.”

  “So now that I’m here, what can I do to make you feel better?”

  “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

  He kneaded the balls of her feet. Danielle leaned back against the cushions of the couch and got comfortable. “Mmm, you’ve got skills.”

  “That’s not all I have.”

  She chuckled softly and closed her eyes.

  “You know I like you, right?”

  Danielle nodded. Yes, I know.”

  “How do you feel about me?”

  She opened her eyes and looked over at him. His Adam’s apple was moving up and down while he waited for her answer. “I like you even though you used to mess with my girl.”

  “That was over ten years ago. Renee wasn’t thinking about me then and she definitely ain’t thinking about me now.”

  True. She couldn’t resist a smile. Renee had probably screwed three dozen men since her relationship with Calvin. “She could care less.”

  She didn’t miss the hint of excitement that lit his eyes as he said, “Good, then that means we don’t have anything to worry about. I’m not gonna lie. I like you, Danielle. I want this to be more than a sexual thing between us.”

  “So, do I, but I’m just getting out of a bad relationship and need a little time to get my head on right.”

  “Okay. But don’t keep me waiting too long.”

  Danielle settled back on the couch again. “I won’t,” she said with a smile.

  “Good. In the meantime, let me give you something to think about.” He slid from beneath her legs, then lowered on top of her and crushed his mouth to hers. Danielle wrapped her arms around him and gave in to the moment, enjoying the kiss. Finally, Calvin came up for air and stared down at her. “I can get used to this.”

  So can I.

  Chapter 19

  Kayla

  Hearing a knock at the door, she looked out the window and spotted Jermaine’s car in her driveway. Dang! She knew it was just a matter of time before he showed up.

  Slowly, she stepped back, hoping he hadn’t seen her. The reason she had parked her car in the garage was so no one would know she was home.

  “Kayla, I see the curtain moving so I know you’re in there.”

  Dang! That was a stupid move. There was no way she could let him see her. The swelling had gone down, but her lip was still cracked and there was a dark bruise underneath her eye.

  “Kayla, please let me in. I’m worried about you. Tina told me you were in a car accident I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  Kayla lowered her eyelids and felt guilty for lying. It had been a week since the rape, and she hadn’t been to work since. Instead, she had called her boss and lied that she had been in a car accident and was too beaten up to come in. Lord, forgive me. At least she hadn’t lied about being beaten up, although instead of hitting the steering wheel, she had been hit with Leroy’s fist.

  Her pulse quivered. Leroy had been calling her every day begging for her forgiveness, and said that if the Lord could forgive, then why couldn’t she? She was so tired of him using the Bible for his own twisted purposes. Thank goodness she’d had a locksmith out to her house, because the night after Renee had videoed him while hiding in the closet, Kayla heard his unsuccessful attempt at trying to use his key before he started banging on the door and acting like a fool. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone and let her be happy?

  Another knock at the door startled her. “Kayla, baby, please talk to me. I’ve been calling your house and you’ve been ignoring my calls.”

  It was true. She had been. Taking a deep breath, she turned the lock on the door and peeped out around the chain.

  “I’m fine, Jermaine. Just not up for company right now.”

  He gave her a sad smile. “How are you feeling?”

  “A little sore.”

  There was a long pause before he said, “Can I come in just for a few minutes?”

  Hearing the pleading in his voice, she hesitated for a moment. “I don’t want you seeing me this way.”

  “Kayla, you’re beautiful to me no matter what has happened to your face.”

  Tears pushed to the surface. He was so kind. What had she done to deserve someone like him in her life?

  Sensing her reluctance, he quickly added, “I just want to make sure you’re okay, then I’ll leave. I promise.”

  She closed the door long enough to remove the chain, then stepped aside so he could come in. After shutting the door, she turned around and met the look of compassion on his face.

  “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry,” he mumbled before holding out his arms to her. Without hesitation, she moved to him and buried her face against his chest Jermaine held her close to him.

  He pulled back slightly, stared down at her battered face, then pressed his lips firmly to hers. Kayla wished she could freeze this moment forever.

  “Come sit down.” He took her hand and moved over to the couch and took a seat, pulling her down beside him. “Now, tell me what happened.”

  She swallowed. Here she goes, lying again. “I was riding in the car with uh ... Renee, and she tried to make a left turn, and someone was trying to make a right and they slammed into her rental car.” Lord, please forgive me, but Renee owes me.

  “Thank God you’re okay.”

  “I told you I was okay. Just need a couple of days for the bruising to go down.”

  “Did you hurt anything?”

  Yes, my pride. “My side is sore. I think I have a couple of bruised ribs, but I’ll be fine.”

  “I know you’re fine, but how are you doing?”

  She couldn’t resist a grin. It was her first in days. Somehow, she felt like a load had been lifted from her heart. Jermaine was definitely
good for the soul.

  The phone rang, startling her. She ignored it. Her daughters had gone down to the lake with her mother and she had just talked to them. The only person who had been blowing up her phone was Leroy, and he was the last person in the world she wanted to talk to.

  “You want me to get that?” Jermaine asked after the third ring.

  She quickly shook her head. “No. I don’t feel like talking to anyone right now.”

  Jermaine reached up and stroked her chin. “Tell me, what can I do to make you feel better?”

  “Just seeing you has made all the difference.”

  “Good. I’m here for you whenever you need me. All you have to do is call.”

  “Thanks.”

  He shook his head. “You just don’t know how much you mean to me, do you? Kayla, I’m crazy about you. I have been since the first day I met you, only you’ve never seemed to notice a brotha. I’ve never asked you this before, but are you involved with someone?” At her silence, he continued. “I assumed that you were and figured if you wanted me to know, you would have told me. Well, now, I’m going to be upfront with you. I’m tired of waiting and I need to know if I even have a chance before I start putting my feelings out there.”

  She closed her eyes and willed away the tears. If he had asked her that a week ago, she would have politely told him she was involved, but her life had changed so much in such a short period of time. “No, I’m no longer involved with anyone.” There—she said it. And to her surprise, it felt good to know that she was finally ready to put the past behind her.

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to hers in a single kiss, then pulled back and gazed at her surprised face. “How about a comedy? I got one in the car I had picked up from the video store last night that I haven’t had a chance to watch. Watching it with you would be a lot more fun. I could sit here and hold you in my arms.”