Laces and Lace (Assassins #6)

by Toni Aleo

  Nerves coursed through her. Not only was she meeting his mom and dad, but he was also supposed to get word that day if he was going into the draft. Everyone believed it was a done deal, but at the same time, there was a chance that no one would want him. It was a 2% chance, but still, it was there. She had the confidence that he was going, and he would be a first-round pick. Everyone would gush about him, he’d get a great deal, and he’d rock the hell out of the league. That was the plan, and while he did all that, she’d get her degree and then open the best lingerie business in the country. Those were her dreams, and she knew that they were within reach.

  As long as she had Karson standing beside her.

  When the knock came at the door, she smiled because Karson was early. Reaching for the door, she pulled it open to find her delicious boyfriend on the other side. She was surprised that he was wearing jeans since they were going out to dinner at some ritzy restaurant, but she ignored it as she reached for him, placing a kiss on his sweet mouth.

  “Hey!” she gushed as she shut the door behind him. “You’re early. Give me a minute; I gotta fix my makeup. Did your dad find out if you are going into the draft? I’m so excited. I feel good about it.”

  When Karson didn’t answer, she looked back at him to find him watching her. “What?”

  “You look beautiful.”

  A grin pulled at her lips as she said, “Well, thank you, but really, are you going in?”

  Slowly, he nodded. She squealed before wrapping her arms tightly around him. “I’m so proud of you! You’re going to rock the big leagues!”

  When he didn’t hug her back, Lacey pulled back, surprised, and looked up into his face, immediately seeing that something was very wrong. His eyes were bloodshot, his face red, and she wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or from crying. But why would Karson cry? He was her big, burly boyfriend. He made other guys cry. “What’s wrong?”

  Closing his eyes, he undid her arms from around him and took a step back. “We need to talk.”

  Dread filled her chest as she looked up into his face. “About?”

  “About us.”

  Her heart picked up in speed as she continued to look at him. He was looking everywhere but at her, another sign that something was horribly wrong.

  “Lacey, we have to end things.”

  “What?”

  “With me going to the pros, I’m going to be so busy, traveling and training and shit, and it isn’t fair to drag you into all that.”

  “What are you talking about? We’ll be fine. That’s why I’m going with you, so we can see each other when you have downtime.”

  “No, you need to stay here. Go to school for free and be with your family.”

  Shaking her head, she said, “No, I need to go with you. I need to be with you. Everything else will fall into place as long as we are together.”

  Still not looking at her, he said, “Lacey, I can’t ask you to follow me across the damn world. You need to think of yourself, what is best for you, and that’s to stay in Chicago.”

  “Who are you to tell me what I need? We’ve been together for two months, and you’ve never told me what I need. Except for maybe you, and you were right, so stop and look at me! What is going on?”

  Slowly, Karson met her gaze and let out a long breath. “You’re right, we’ve only been together for two months. Maybe we are rushing into this. I’ve been having second thoughts, Lacey, and I can’t help but feel like I’m dragging you from everything you know. I don’t feel right about that. This is your life, and we don’t know what could happen. Your cancer could come back or I could flop when I hit the big leagues, and then what? How would I support you?”

  Not able to hold them in any longer, Lacey’s tears rushed down her face as she slowly shook her head. “As long as we have each other, everything else will fall into place.”

  She could see the pain in his eyes, but that still didn’t stop him from saying, “Love won’t put food on the table, or pay for your college, or start your business, Lacey. I’m sorry, but I have to end things.”

  A sob ripped from her as she looked away, gasping for breath. What changed? How did they go from promising to be together forever to him breaking up with her?

  She’d slept with him.

  Looking up at him through her tears, a sob was caught at the base of her throat as she cried, “Is this about my breasts? Are you breaking up with me because I have no boobs? I trusted you! I showed only you, and now you’re breaking up with me?”

  He was in front of her before she could even take in another breath. Squeezing her arms in his hands, he shook his head quickly, tears welling up in his eyes as he held her gaze. “God no, Lacey. Don’t you ever think that! I love you, I love your body, and I love every single thing about you, but I can’t do this. I can’t guarantee you the future when I have no clue what mine is. As much as I want to say we can get back together once I figure it all out, that isn’t fair to you. I want you to have the life you deserve, and I don’t think I’m the man to give it to you.”

  “But you are! Karson, if you love me, don’t break up with me,” she cried, holding on to his forearm. “You promised you would never break me, and that’s what you are doing by giving up on us and leaving me.”

  Looking down at the ground, he took in a deep breath. “I know, but I am doing it for you. I’m sorry, Lacey. I’m so fucking sorry, but don’t you ever think I don’t love you. I do, but I’m sorry, I have to end this.”

  Pressing his lips to hers, he kissed her hard, but she pushed him away. “No! You don’t get to kiss me or tell me you love me when you are breaking up with me! How is that fair? How is that even right? It’s a contradiction to everything because, even with you saying you’re doing it for me, it makes no sense! If you loved me, you would stay with me and love me for the rest of our lives, but you aren’t doing that, are you?”

  “I can’t. I love you too much. I have to let you go,” he said as tears slowly rolled down his perfectly chiseled face.

  “Why?”

  “Because I have to, so that you have the life you deserve,” he said with all the compassion in the world, but all it did was piss her the hell off.

  “Bullshit. Get the hell out,” she cried, hugging herself with her arms.

  “I love you, don’t forget that,” he whispered, but she ignored him as she crumpled onto her bed.

  “Leave me alone. You made me a promise, Karson, and you broke it! You have completely broken me, and do you even care? Are you going to be here to pick up the pieces? No, you’ll be in the damn big leagues, leaving me behind to figure out how to live my life without you! How can you live with yourself knowing that?”

  “I don’t know,” he whispered.

  She covered her face, her tears leaking all over her hands as her body shook with her sobs. The room was completely quiet and she thought he had left, but when she looked up, she found him still watching her from the doorway. “I’m sorry, Lacey. I really do love you.”

  And with that, he shut the door, completely shattering her heart. As Lacey lay there, tears rushing down her face as she choked on her own sobs, she had no clue what had just happened, or how she was going to put herself back together after that. Their love was all-consuming, and now she wasn’t going to have that. How did someone come back from that?

  She thought being diagnosed with cancer and having her breasts removed was the hardest thing she’d ever have to battle, but all the pain she felt then didn’t even come close to the pain she was feeling at the moment. She was a survivor though, and she knew that she would cope with losing the greatest love of her life. But, like everything else that happened in her life, she wished she didn’t have to.

  Karson stood in the back of the auditorium as the Catappellas sang their hearts out for the championship. His bags were in his car and all ready for the trek back home to Wisconsin before the draft. He wanted to be excited for the new life he was about to embark on, but it was hard when he knew that the g
irl who stood in the middle of the group in a bright red dress wasn’t going with him. It had been a month since he had broken things off with Lacey, and each day was harder than the last. He fought with himself daily to keep from going to her and begging for forgiveness. He knew he had made the biggest mistake of his life, but he prayed in the long run it was for the best.

  He missed her—everything about her. He missed her lips, her smile, her laugh, and the feel of her body against his. He wanted nothing more than to run to the stage and ask her to run away with him, but from where he stood, he could see Grady and Coach. The hatred he felt in his body for his old coach was indescribable. He would always blame him from taking away his world and ruining him.

  As he watched the Catappellas sing “All You Need Is Love” by the Beatles, his heart ached for her. He was stupid to come; he knew that this would hurt, but he had to see her one last time before he took off, leaving Chicago and his world behind him. Watching her from afar was hard and he hated it, but it was what he had resorted to for the last month. He wasn’t sure when or if he’d ever see her again, so he knew he had to come, even if it was just to watch her since he knew he couldn’t say anything to her. His words would mean nothing to her. He had already broken her, and nothing he would say could fix what he had done.

  When the group started to sing the melody to “Yesterday,” also by the Beatles, someone handed Lacey a mic and she took center stage, the lights shining on her, making her look like an angel. Something lurched in his chest. He fought for his breath as her sweet lips moved, and the most beautiful sound came out. As she sang the song, each word stabbed into Karson like a knife. He knew it wasn’t a coincidence that she was singing this song. She might not know that he was there, but she was singing it for him. It hurt hearing the words, but he welcomed the pain.

  He deserved it.

  When she hit the crescendo of the song, he could see her tears welling up and soon a tear rolled down her cheek as she sang her heart out. She was going to do great things. As the realization that she was going to do them without him settled on his heart, his own eyes filled with tears. Taking in a deep breath, he moved his hand along his cheek, catching his tears as Lacey finished the song, causing the crowd to lose it. Unlike he usually did, Karson didn’t clap or cheer; he only watched her. While she smiled and bowed, thanking the crowd, he hoped that the powers beyond gave them another chance later in life because, if he did get another chance, he’d never let her go. No matter what. He regretted what he had done, and he knew that he would live with that regret for the rest of his life.

  As he walked away, his heart heavy, he knew that his love for Lacey would never stop. While he knew he was about to embark on a new journey, he also knew that his heart would forever stay hostage to Lacey Martin.

  And there was no other place he’d rather leave it.

  Every time Karson King stepped foot in Chicago, he felt like he was suffocating.

  Or maybe it was the fact that Coach Baxter had lost his ever-loving mind before practice that morning. Karson wasn’t sure which one it was, but it was plain as day that he was struggling to keep up with the drills that Baxter was running. It wasn’t his morning. Ever since the plane touched down in Chicago, he knew that this wasn’t going to be a good trip. He was the one who always thought they would win. Hands down. The Nashville Assassins were the best damn team in the league, in his opinion. He’d scream it from the rooftop, but every single damn time they set foot into Chicago, he sang a different tune.

  There was something, or better yet, someone in this damn city who mentally fucked him every time he visited. It didn’t matter. He could come for a quick visit, and something would go wrong. Like when he came for his buddy Drew’s wedding. It rained. Some say that is good luck, but it was an outdoor wedding. Karson was soaked to his underwear, and poor Elizabeth, the bride, looked like a drowned cat.

  It was sad.

  When he came for the alumni game for his alma mater so that he could drop the puck during a play-off game, he slipped on the fucking ice.

  What the fuck?

  He was a hockey player. He lived, breathed, and loved the ice and somehow slipped. Off a piece of carpet nonetheless. In front of thousands of people. Pathetic.

  And for the love of God, when he played against the Blackhawks, might as well not even watch him; he was tragic. Playing like a pee-wee player, missing shots, missing blocks, basically looking like a fish out of water… He was downright ridiculous.

  It was this damn city. That’s all there was to it.

  Digging into the ice, he took long strides to catch up to his line that was crashing the net, hoping for some kind of rebound to score. But it was hard to score on Tate Odder. Like the ninja goalie he was, he batted every shot away. When the puck came in front of Karson, he went to shoot, but somehow forgot to connect the blade of his stick to the puck.

  Like a dumbass.

  When Jakob Titov took the puck and sailed it up to whoever was waiting for it, Karson let his head hang and let out a long breath.

  “What the fuck, King! Get it together,” Coach Baxter yelled.

  He hated this damn city.

  After showering and basically licking his wounds after Coach ripped him one, Karson took a long nap, or better yet, tossed and turned in bed before heading out into the brisk, cold Chicago air. Looking around, he let out a long breath before letting his shoulders drop. Looking up at the tall buildings, the busy street goers, the basic splendor of Chicago, Karson couldn’t muster up anything but disdain for this city. It was supposed to be his second home. After coming here twelve years ago from Wisconsin, Karson knew he had been about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. He was going to train with the best college coach ever, Nate Martin. He was just that too—on the ice, that is. Off the ice, he could kiss both of Karson’s ass cheeks, but he didn’t like to think too much about that. It brought back too many painful memories. It made him think of how, for the last nine years, he hadn’t been living, not in the least.

  It was sad, really. Chicago had been good to him before he left for the draft. He’d had lots of fun here, he made longtime friends, he played some of his favorite hockey here, and he also fell in love for the first time here.

  The only time.

  But now, he walked the street with nothing but a bad taste in his mouth. He hated it here. If he were honest, it wasn’t the city itself, but the person who he knew still lived here that made this city somewhat of a bad omen to him now.

  Bundling up tighter in his jacket, he trudged through the cold with his buddy, Jordie Thomas. They were meeting up with some of their teammates for dinner before hitting the town. Karson’s hands shook in his pockets with the thoughts of running into the girl he left behind, but he knew he wouldn’t see her. He never did. Not in the forty-nine times he had been back to Chicago had he seen her gorgeous face, and man, he wished he had. Instead, he had to watch her from afar. On the Internet, stalking her on Facebook, and hearing things through the few mutual friends they had. It was insane, really. When he thought of Chicago, he thought of her. When he was in town, he prayed for some reason he would run into her, which would have him thinking of her the whole time he was here. She flooded his senses, his thoughts, his soul.

  She was the one he let go.

  And how idiotic that was.

  Because there was something about Lacey Martin’s smile that could honestly knock him on his ass, before her eyes would pick him back up and her lips would demolish him. He then would pray that all of it would happen again and again because he loved her. More than anything in existence. She was the “bring home to Ma” kind of girl. She was perfect, beautiful, and stunning. When they were together for those three glorious months, he cherished her like the Stanley Cup. Yeah, it was short, but it was perfect. She was it to him. She was everything.

  They had a plan. They were supposed to be together forever, but like all good things, they came to an end. A horrible, painful end. One he hadn’t come back from. The
re wasn’t a day that passed where he didn’t think of her, wonder where she was and what she was doing.

  He doubted she did the same, though.

  She probably still wished him to the fiery depths of hell. When people said his name, she probably cringed and regretted every moment she had spent with him. He broke her. Probably worse than the cancer she fought ever did. When he would look at her Facebook and study at the pictures she allowed the world to see, all he saw was fakeness. She wasn’t smiling the way she did when she was with him. She just looked pained.

  Or at least he hoped she was.

  “What’s up with you?”

  Looking over, Karson met Jordie’s dark brown gaze. Despite it not being play-off season, Jordie had a long beard that he was currently twisting around his finger as he eyed Karson. The guy looked like he belonged back home in the backwoods of Colorado with an axe in one hand while wearing a plaid shirt. Looked as if he should be skinning a rabbit with his bare hands instead of murdering guys on the ice. He was the best enforcer on the Assassins, and Karson was glad he was his friend. He was kind of scary.

  “Nothing,” Karson lied.

  “Jack shit. You always get dumb when we come here. When are you going to tell me why?” he asked, receiving a dark look from Karson. “I know it has to do with that girl, so just tell me.”

  Shrugging, he said, “She lives here.”

  “Yeah, so? Hasn’t it been twenty years since you’ve seen her? Isn’t it time to get over it?”

  Yeah, it was.

  “It’s been nine, and I don’t see how this is any of your concern,” Karson said as he reached for the door handle to The Gage.