Truly Madly Deeply: Volumes 1-4

by Brenda Pandos

  I blow out the air I’m holding and attempt to step off the toilet. My foot slides off the rim, plunging into the bowl. Water splashes and soaks the bottom of my jeans.

  “Shit!” I lift out my waterlogged foot. My only pair of tennis shoes are drenched in bacteria laden water, and I’m not doing laundry until the weekend.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  After a quick change, I arrive to dinner late. My girls are sulking at the table, while Sonia’s girls get first dibs at the buffet.

  “We didn’t win?” I ask as I sit.

  Bridge sighs dramatically. “No, and it isn’t fair. Our cabin was spotless.”

  “We were third, though,” Holly says. “Better than yesterday.”

  “That still sucks.” Emma has her chin resting against her palm.

  “We’ll get first place,” I say.

  “How?” Bridge asks.

  The judges, who are rotation counselors, deduct points for the smallest of infractions, and it doesn’t help I’m not close with either of them. But when I was a camper, we always found a way.

  I lean in and smile. “Bribery.”

  Logan rests against his table, and his shirt stretches tight, accentuating his shoulders, distracting me. I can’t help but feel sorry for him. He’s trapped in Kat’s web, like I was in Gage’s. And the more I think about it, though I’ll lose him in the process, he deserves the truth.

  “So?” Holly asks. “Are we having a game night or not?”

  My gaze swings to hers, and I blink. I’d completely forgotten about asking.

  “Uh…” I look up at Logan, then to Kat who should be sitting with us, but is sitting at the end of his table. Asking him now is a death wish for him. “It’s in the works.”

  The girls perk up.

  “Really?” Holly asks. “Don’t mess with me.”

  “I’m not.”

  I hide my concern and stare into their excited faces. Screw Kat. This isn’t about her or her stupid insinuating that I’m hungry for attention. This is about the kids.

  I get up and walk over. Tittering giggles sound behind me, propelling me forward.

  I tap on Logan’s shoulder. He looks up and his eyes go wide for a moment. “Yeah?”

  “I have a request.” Out of my peripheral vision, I can see Kat glaring, and I’m actually enjoying it.

  “Okay.” His eyes narrow.

  I look around at the curious faces of his campers.

  “In private.”

  He stands, his glance flashing quickly to Kat first. He follows me over to the wall.

  “What’s up?”

  Beyond him, my girls are leaning forward, hands covering their open mouths. Dirk tries to dismiss them to dinner, but they don’t move.

  “The girls of Camellia would like to formally request a private game of Nertz with your cabin.”

  He pulls his head back. Apparently, this wasn’t the request he was anticipating.

  “Oh.” He pauses, then quirks a smile. “I think that can be arranged.”

  I look over to my table and flash a quick thumbs up. They grab onto one another in hugs of joyful bliss, then clamber to the buffet line.

  “Thank you.”

  “Sure.” He nods, then his smile falls. Dirk dismisses his table, but Logan doesn’t move. Kat watches us like a hawk.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  His eyes go from her to me, and he quickly recovers.

  “Yeah. You?”

  “Yeah. The nap helped.”

  “Good.” He starts to leave.

  “Logan, thank you for today, really.”

  He stops and looks at me. His eyes storm with conflict.

  “What happened to you, wasn’t your fault, you know that, right?”

  I bite my lip to hold back the tears, overwhelmed with relief he doesn’t believe Kat’s lies. “Yes. I know.”

  “Good.”

  He gives me a sweet smile and nods as he passes, then joins up in line with his boys. I sit at the table, my appetite lost. I don’t know how Logan does this to me, wraps me up in this maddening bubble of feelings, but I’m truly falling for him.

  Truly, madly, deeply.

  ~|~

  After an exhilarating night of cards, morning comes too early. I glance over and notice Kat’s not in her bed. My heart thumps hard a few beats until she walks around the corner with a towel wrapped around her torso. She grabs her clothes, unaware that I’m watching her.

  Once she heads back to the bathroom area, I get up and slide on my jeans and a T-shirt. After everything, going together to the meeting is the last thing I want to do. I don’t think there’s any way to avoid it though.

  I pop my toothbrush into my mouth and head for the sink. She gives me that smile as we pass, like she’s putting up with me, but says nothing. In my peripheral vision, I see her slide on her shoes and head outside. I spit, then turn as the door softly closes. I lean against the counter for support, thanking my lucky stars. Somehow I’ve avoided interaction, but how am I going to survive two more days like this?

  I wait an extra minute before I slip on my shoes. The girls start to stir in their bunks.

  “You leaving?” Bridge asks groggily.

  “I’ll be back to walk you to breakfast,” I say. “Make sure everyone’s ready.”

  “We’re winning the cabin clean up today.” She sits up and stretches. “If I have to use tape to get up every last grain of sand, we will win. What about that bribery thing?”

  I chuckle. “Oh, I heard chocolate kisses add points. There are some in my bag.”

  “You’re kidding me,” she says and jumps off the top bunk and opens my bag with my secret stash.

  “Help yourself.”

  “Yes!”

  I wink and she smiles.

  Once I’m outside, the cool morning air fills my lungs and energizes me. The birds call to one another in the trees, and I’m taken back to fond memories of camper life as a kid. A secret wish that things would return to normal, flutters through me, if not for me, for my girls. They’ve been so robbed of the true joy of this place.

  I turn the corner and freeze. Kat’s standing off to the side of the trail, arms folded.

  She immediately comes over, fuming. “If you have a problem with me, you come talk to me about it. Not Logan.”

  I furrow my brow and look around to make sure there aren’t any kids witnessing this. “What are you talking about?”

  “I know you told Logan about the other night.”

  I back up, heart pounding, unsure what to say.

  “What I do is my business,” she finishes.

  “Yeah, but you’re not supposed to leave.”

  She gets in my face. “I have been nothing but nice to you, even after you called me a bitch. You need to back off and stop trying to break us up. We’re engaged to be married and nothing is going to change that. He doesn’t need extra things to worry about, like my insomnia. Okay?”

  I want to laugh because to Logan it was about her phone, but something breaks inside me and fearlessness rips through my veins. This bitch doesn’t know who she’s messing with. “I know about you and Dirk.”

  She pulls her chin back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “That you’re sleeping with him.”

  She presses a laugh between her lips and shakes her head. “Now that’s funny.”

  “He was the one you were with in the snack shack.”

  “No. It was Logan and don’t you go spreading rumors.”

  “Yet Logan knew nothing of it the next day.”

  The color drains from her face. “He lied to you. To save your feelings.” Her eyes narrow. “He pities you.”

  I lift my chin. My lids ache as the tears fill my eyelids. “You’re wrong. You aren’t good for him. You need help.”

  She laughs and shakes her head. “Your little obsession is ending today.”

  I grit my teeth. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  She pushes her finger in my shoulder. �
��Meaning, you better stay away from Logan, or I’ll have you fired.”

  She glares at me for a moment longer, then storms off toward the counselor lounge. My legs wobble as I contain my anger and catch my breath. Balling up my hands, I just want to punch something. How am I supposed to attend the counselor meeting now?

  Avoiding it will only make me look guilty and prove she’s won. I lift my chin and march to the lounge. She isn’t going to know she’s rattled me.

  ~|~

  Once I get inside, I see her deep in conversation with Dirk. His eyes meet mine, filled with concern. My stomach clenches. There’s really only one offense, but if they plan to bring me down with the drinking thing now, they’re both in for a rude awakening. Good thing Logan isn’t here yet, or I might have lost it.

  Syd pats the seat on the couch next to her. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  I take a deep breath and sit. My body is shaking, and I can’t seem to settle down.

  “Rough night?”

  I lean over and start to tell her what happened when Logan walks in. Dark circles rim his tired eyes. He takes one sad look at me, and my stomach takes a nosedive. The urge to jump up and go to him hits, but his eyes scan the room and he heads for Kat.

  “What is going on?” Syd asks impatiently, watching the exchange.

  I hide my disgust as I watch the two hug. “I’ll tell you later.”

  I catch Dirk’s frown as he extracts himself from the conversation. How can he let her treat him like this? Or maybe her secret lover isn’t Dirk. My brain hurts trying to unravel it.

  Dirk stands in front of the group and rattles off his announcements. There’s nothing new happening today, but it takes all I have to keep from watching Kat practically sit on top of Logan.

  Dirk’s eyes flick over to them and back, then he abruptly cuts the meeting short. I make a beeline for the door before he can intercept me.

  “Wait up,” Syd says from behind, and follows me out. “What is going on?”

  I clench my jaw and grab her arm, pulling her. Once we’re closer to the cabins, I turn to her. “I’m gonna kill Kat, that’s what.”

  Her eyes widen. “What happened?”

  After I tell her everything, except my suspicions she’s sleeping with Dirk, she stands there, mouth ajar.

  Then she busts up laughing. “Fire you? Like she has that power.”

  Do I tell her that she does, considering she’s sleeping with the boss? My adrenaline slows and regret starts ramming into me like a wrecking ball.

  “I should have never told Logan.”

  “No, you did the right thing. Wandering around in the middle of the night, insomnia or not, is stupid.”

  My mind can’t wrap around why Kat’s doing this, insisting she has her man and her affair at the same time. Or maybe she isn’t sleeping with Dirk. Maybe I’ve been wrong this entire time.

  I startle when the breakfast bell rings.

  “Come on. We need to get our kids.” Syd tugs on my arm.

  “What am I going to do?”

  She gives a consoling smile. “Be yourself, that’s all you can do. Trust me. He’s happier when he’s with you, and they’re not married yet.”

  I roll my eyes, but follow Syd to the cabins anyway. Happier? That might be true, but they’re tied together with some horrific event that’s stronger than my incident with Marsden. But be myself? I want to laugh. That’s the last thing I’ve been this entire summer, and if I were, Logan wouldn’t want anything to do with the real me.

  No. I need to come up with something better, something different. What though? Then it hits me. Yes, it’s insane, but there’s no other way. Logan needs to know the truth regardless of what I have to do to get it.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The night hours pass slowly as I lie in bed and wait, still buzzing from the late night cup of coffee. After the big confrontation, surprising enough Kat pretended we were besties the rest of the day while Dirk acted none the wiser. Even still, I’m determined to bring her down.

  Watching the bottom of the bunk above me, I’m beginning to think my sleepless night is in vain when Kat stirs in her bed. The coils of her bed squeak, and she gets up.

  I press my eyes shut and breathe heavily, anticipating a flush or something to imply she’s sticking around. Instead the lock clicks. The door creaks open and wind ruffles over my hair and stirs the crepe paper hanging from the ceiling.

  Once the door shuts, I pop open my eyes, shocked that after everything, she’s doing this again. Maybe she is visiting Logan.

  I wait a second, then bolt upright and slide on my shoes. Once I’m outside, which is literally a minute later, she’s already gone. I listen, Maglite in hand, ready to blind an intruder with the light or crack them over the head.

  The wind sways through the trees, creaking and shuffling the leaves. There’s an owl hooting somewhere in the distance. I’m terrified, but I have to face this fear. Logan has to see her in the act, like when it happened to me, no matter how horrible that is. There’s no other way around it.

  I walk down the dimly lit path toward Dirk’s cabin, squinting to look through the trees surrounding me, trying not to imagine Marsden lurking there.

  “He’s not there,” I whisper to myself over and over.

  Dirk’s dark cabin comes into view. I wait a moment before I creep closer and listen against the door. No sounds.

  Dead end.

  I curl my arms around myself. It’s crazy that two girls are out in the middle of the night and not one security guard is around. Chances are, she is with Logan and that is something I most definitely don’t want to witness.

  Defeated, I walk off the porch, stomach clenching, unsure where to go or what to do. A huge part of me just wants to go back and try to sleep, though, I’m so amped on coffee I don’t think I can.

  The leaves crunch under my feet, too loud for comfort. Then I hear something that sounds like a girl’s scream. I freeze, straining to hear over the blood pounding in my ears. Am I imagining things? I step closer to where I think I heard it come from. The whimper can be heard again, and I walk faster, passing the auditorium and ending up on the deck. Down by the snack shack, I see a dark shadow moving by the trees. The hairs lift on my neck.

  I suck in a breath at the two bodies lying on the grass in plain sight. My heart pounds harder as the images of Gage and Allie come back to me. I push them aside. That happened, yes, but I’m stronger now for it and once I confront Kat and her lover, they’ll be forced to leave camp for good.

  Sneaking around the pool fence, I make my way to the other side of the snack shack. The thought that she may be with Logan, considering their hook up spots are limited, twists my heart. My gut tells me she’s not with him, but whoever she’s with, I’ll finally know the truth. I prepare my phone to take a picture, then click the Maglite on and jump out from behind the shack.

  Everything slows as the light shines in Marsden’s eyes.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  He straightens and shields his face.

  “What the damn hell?” A string of cuss words come afterward.

  Kat’s under him, eyes streaked with tears, and my distraction has given just enough time for her to knee him in the groin. He leans over, holding his parts.

  “Damn, bitch! Get back here, Michelle.”

  She scrambles to her feet, clutching onto her torn shirt, and grabs something that looks like wadded up dollar bills before she runs in the opposite direction. My legs turn to jelly, watching her escape and him writhe, like what I’m seeing isn’t real. His eyes lock onto mine. On his forehead is a nasty red scar, the one I gave him with the Goldschläger bottle.

  We just look at one another, then he smiles.

  “I know you,” he slurs. “You’re the one with all the problems.”

  I pocket my phone and turn to run. My foot plunges into a hole, stopping me. The rest of my body, fueled by gravity, topples over and something rips inside my ankle. The Maglite flies from my hands
and lands on the cement, spinning. I fall flat on the wet grass with a grunt, the air pressing from my lungs.

  I wince as fiery pain shoots up my leg and I try to turn over. Something heavy lands and presses on top of me, pushing the rest of the air from my lungs and trapping my left arm. For a moment, I’m paralyzed with fright. Where is Kat? How could she just leave me here?

  I try to claw myself up. His hands, though, dig into my neck, shoving me back down, pinning me face first into the grass. Over the earthy smell, sweat and liquor mix in sickening harmony and the urge to vomit rolls over me.

  “It’ll be better if you hold still, sweet thang,” he whispers in my ear.

  “No-no-no-no.” My voice sounds weak and pathetic. “Please stop.”

  Tears stream down my cheeks, and I try to wiggle, but his weight has me pinned. Then it shifts, and I’m able to suck in a breath. I let out a scream.

  “None of that.” He grabs my neck and slams my face on the ground again. Stars flash across my vision. Though the ground is soft, my cheek is on fire and the coppery taste of blood fills my mouth.

  He paws at my flimsy pajama pants. “At least you’re not wearing those tight jeans.”

  I hold onto my waistband with my free hand, and another blow blasts into my head. He wrenches my free hand up and behind my back. I shriek in pain as he pins it there.

  “Work with me.”

  My body convulses as the tears fall down my face. Regret quickly takes over. For coming to camp. For following Kat. For falling in love with Logan.

  If I thought things were horrible before, my life is now over as I know it.

  His other hand manages to get my pajama pants down over my hips, exposing my underwear. He rubs his hand over the fragile fabric and moves down. I clench my legs together and scream again, wiggling and writhing to pull away. He laughs at my feeble attempts to get away.

  At the sound of a zipper, the blood drains from my face. I start to beg. “Please. Don’t do this. Please.”

  Then his weight is off of me, possibly to get a better angle. There’s a smack of flesh hitting something, then a groan. I don’t care what’s happened. Finally free, I roll over and tug my pajama pants up, ready to knee him in the groin like Kat did. But Marsden isn’t standing over me. Instead, he’s staggering off, facing someone whose back is to me.