My Life in Smiley (Book 3 in Smiley series)

by Anne Kalicky

  Then we all got together and the director gave us this whole speech about “determination,” “cooperation,” and all sorts of other words with “tion” that didn’t mean anything fun.

  They told us the first thing to do in a “critical” situation was to start making a shelter. I looked all around and then elbowed Mehdi and Nico: not the slightest trace of a hut or cabin in the area. That’s when I realized they were going to make us build our own!

  The girls’ patrol immediately set off to look for twigs and leaves to start a pile. The boys’ patrol had to find branches big enough to be the base of the structure for two shelters—one for girls and one for guys. And that’s when Valentin came hurtling with his arms full of mushrooms, hollering to everyone that he’d found food and we were saved thanks to him.

  He was just about to put one in his mouth when we heard a shout.

  Gerald stepped in just in time. Valentin was about to poison himself with a toxic mushroom, which earned us another long speech on all of the various risks of eating mushrooms found in the forest.

  After the sudden adrenaline rush that almost knocked us all out, we got back to work. But even though I tried to remember the advice written in Dindin Hood’s Journal, it took us a while to build our shelters under the leaders’ “strict” supervision. Let’s just say we were fighting for our lives. But in the end, looking at our two shelters, you could easily tell that the boys’ was the winner.

  Unfortunately, we celebrated a little too soon. Five minutes later, our “lean-to” collapsed on top of Samuel, who’d sat down inside of it and then leapt to his feet too quickly. Samuel probably should’ve had his own “private” shelter, given he’s practically a giant. Anyway, his popularity among the guys plummeted. The girls got a good laugh out of the whole thing, and then we had to start all over.

  Next, Gerald told us that the second step was to make a fire to dry the ground, repel insects, and above all . . . scare off animals. We didn’t find this all too reassuring, to be honest.

  So he showed us how to light a fire with moss, twigs, and all kinds of other things Tom and I had never managed to figure out. Aldo volunteered to blow on the coals, but right when the first sparks appeared, our only hope of survival went up in smoke!

  Gerald ended up pulling a lighter and some fire starters out of his pocket, which proved to be MUCH more effective.

  The leaders then said it was time to eat. Everyone cheered. Believe me, future human, we meant it. We were all hoping that they had some fresh sandwiches or juicy hamburgers stashed away in their packs. But once again:

  They only had packets full of some weird substance: at first glance, it looked like a blend of vomit and dog food. But whatever it was, once it was mixed with some boiled river water, it actually wasn’t too bad. And for that matter, I figured I should get used to this kind of food since it’s probably what astronauts eat.

  Dear future human, do you only eat packets of powder? If so, that’s kind of annoying, because I love my mom’s steak-and-potato Sunday dinners. I don’t know how I’ll live without them in the future. . . .

  Anyway, the real problem was that, after gulping this sketchy mush down, we were all still super hungry. That’s when Manon, Élisa, and Kader—the counselors from Nico’s group—pulled out a bag of cake flour. It was a little something to “boost our morale,” they explained.

  We went back into the woods to look for little branches. But it was pitch black, and even with our flashlights we could barely see a few feet in front of us.

  At one point, Samuel started crying out

  to make us think there were wolves. I really thought that Valentin, even at the ripe old age of thirteen, was going to pee his pants. We got back to camp with some good sticks, wrapped little balls of dough around the end, and held our skewers over the fire.

  It was delicious! Have you ever had freshly baked bread before, dear future human? There’s nothing better! OK, one thing would’ve made it better—chocolate icing!

  We sang Champ Camp’s song, then the leaders went off on their own so we’d have some time to ourselves. Not a moment too soon, if you ask me! The discussion quickly turned to the going-away party on Friday night, boys and girls, and rumors about who likes who.

  That’s when Aldo came up with a fantastic idea: everyone would secretly write down the names of people they thought should date. Since we didn’t have any paper or pencils, we took some leaves and poked our sticks into the coals. Then, one by one, we dropped our leaves into one of Aldo’s shoes. He shook it up, and, as you can probably imagine, half of them were erased. But some were still intact.

  I think some people just made up crushes, because I’d never noticed Mehdi eying Mélissa or Nico ogling at Coline. But it was obvious that Clara not only wanted to go out with me, but also my roommate Maxence wanted to go out with her, ever since the mix-up in our room. I’m betting it’s gonna be a real mess.

  Right after we finished reading the leaves, the leaders whistled for curfew and we went off to bed. We were so exhausted, we didn’t fight it. The ONLY thing we wanted was peace and quiet, but ohhhhh no!

  Around one in the morning, I heard Anthony bringing Valentin back to our campsite. Valentin was so afraid of sleeping out in the open that he’d tried to sneak off. But he barely got twenty feet before he had to call out for help.

  Once everything quieted back down, I heard something that sounded like plastic being rummaged through: it was Romain, who’d come down with a case of the munchies and woken up to look for a little snack to raid. After he went back to bed, he started snoring. We were squeezed together in our humble shelter like packaged hotdogs, and it was freezing cold. I had a heck of a time closing my eyes, and it was the same for Nico, Mehdi, and Yanis.

  Right when we were finally about to fall asleep, I sat up and my heart started beating furiously: in the middle of the deathly quiet of the dark, black night, I heard footsteps outside! The fear! I whispered to Nico and Mehdi, telling them to be quiet and listen. I wasn’t dreaming. An animal, surely wild and horrifying, was about to pounce on our lean-to and swallow us whole! We were going to suffer a horrible death, far from our families, abandoned to fate! Suddenly, we saw a ray of light approach, and a shadowy silhouette appeared at the entrance of our shelter. Nico, Mehdi, Yanis, and I were still so scared that we stuck together like glue. Then we recognized Lola’s face, and then Mélissa’s, then Coline’s, and finally Clara’s.

  The girls all entered our shelter and explained that they hadn’t managed to doze off, either. Basically, they asked if they could STAY WITH US! That’s when Aldo, who we thought was sleeping, popped his head up:

  Well, the girls had already predicted this and brought their own blankets. They stuck to us like glue, and that’s how I found myself lying down, in the middle of the night, deep in the woods, NEXT TO CLARA! I felt just as clumsy as when Naïs kissed me. . . . It was hardly a few weeks ago. . . .

  It felt so distant. I wondered what was going to happen, when I heard her whisper something in my ear that blew me away: “Good night, Max.”

  First, that tickled my eardrum, because I’m SUPER ticklish.

  Second, I realized she wasn’t in attack mode at all, but closer to stealth mode. Since I felt guilty about the ♡Naïs situation, I didn’t move a muscle. Then, I don’t know how, but we all fell asleep really fast. It was a grueling day, all right?

  The next day, the leaders woke us up at seven in the morning. They were not too happy to find the girls in our shelter, and they split us up ASAP. In order to “reprimand” us, and also to wake us up, we had the privilege of undergoing a military-style workout.

  We had to do jumping jacks, thirty push-ups, and then run ten laps around our base camp. Believe me, on a scale of 1 to 10, I can say Mr. Ramoupoulos’s PE class is a –3 compared to what we had to do! But�
��not for the faint-hearted—even worse trials were waiting for us. If we’d known ahead of time, I’m sure we would’ve rebelled against the camp leadership! But by the time we were out in the middle of nowhere, it was too late—we needed the counselors to guide us back to civilization. And this time around, there was no way I could PRETEND to have fun or get out of it.

  By the way, I wish this whole expedition could’ve been filmed for TV or something like that. Our achievements, mine in particular, could’ve finally been revealed to the world . . . or at least a captive audience.

  Gerald and the counselors gathered everyone and gave us a pep talk that sent shivers down my spine.

  Easier said than done . . . especially after a night like the one we’d just experienced and the breakfast we had to choke down: cold leftover kebabs and sketchy mush. After breakfast, the leaders took us deep into the woods for what they called a “backwoods challenge.” The goal?

  Reconnect with nature, like our primitive ancestors.

  Everyone had to first cover themselves in dirt and mud to blend in with the forest, then one team would hide within an area marked by bandanas tied to trees. The second team had to find everyone else. Even after the workout we’d just gone through, we were feeling OK and the idea of smearing ourselves with mud and leaves sounded pretty fun.

  I was on a team with Nico, and I have to say, we had a ton of fun. And as luck would have it, none of us were found!

  At the end of this escapade, Gerald and the counselors announced that we were going to fish for our lunch before going back to camp. They taught us plenty of techniques to catch fish without equipment, like using branches to make a pole, making a fishing line out of clothing thread, or fashioning hooks and lures with little bones, wood, or even a nail. I made a mental note to tell Grandpa Joff about all of this next month—he loves fishing!

  Then, we gathered at the edge of the river and wound up catching five enormous fish that we cooked over a fire. You can bet we ate every last bite! To be honest, I was pretty proud of us. The “survival stage” was nearing its end, and we got through it just fine. We packed up our stuff—which didn’t take long, given the fact that we hardly had anything—and lined up behind Gerald to follow the trail back.

  But there was one last test.

  Really, I swear!

  After about an hour of hiking, Gerald and the counselors stopped the group. They explained that one of us was going to be given a compass and would be in charge of leading the group back to the “extraction point.” By that, they meant back to Champ Camp. We drew straws, and guess who picked the shortest one? Yep . . . ME!

  The fear of being an astronaut floating into nothingness started to creep up on me. I would’ve given just about anything to avoid taking on this responsibility. Nico and the others must’ve noticed the strange look on my face, because they surrounded me and started chanting words of encouragement.

  Surrounded by tall trees, the echo of their cheering resonated throughout the forest. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve taken this as a sign that my genius was at last being recognized and my time to shine had finally come, but I wasn’t really feeling too confident. I didn’t have any other choice but to accept the mission. I took the compass, turned south, and signaled for the group to follow me.

  But at one point, right when I was thinking camp couldn’t be much farther, we came to the edge of a huge ravine. I stopped in my tracks, racking my brain for how we were going to get across. Then Gerald suggested I look up. I noticed a pulley and a harness, and then it hit me: we had to cross the ravine by cable.

  Thankfully, the leaders didn’t expect me to figure it out on my own. It was all part of the survival experience, but they hadn’t given us any warning. All of a sudden, I heard a weird noise behind me.

  As for me, I was starting to really regret passing on Tom’s invitations to do a high ropes course with him. But in light of my very recent surge in popularity and the encouragement Nico was sending from the corner of his eye, backing down was out of the question! Anyway, Anthony and Kader were the first to go over, so they could catch us on the other side.

  Next it was my turn, since I’d been mercilessly appointed team leader. Gerald and Élisa helped me put on the harness. I sat down beneath the cable, grabbed the pulley with both hands, and launched myself without looking down below—focusing only on what Gerald called . . . the lifeline. I honestly thought I was going to see my entire life flash before my eyes, but instead, I heard myself shout out something I would’ve never thought possible:

  I really handled it like a pro—I wasn’t scared at all! And before I could even think about it, I was already on the other side with Anthony and Kader, who took my equipment and sent it back to the rest of the group.

  That’s when I noticed that, back on the other side, there was an argument between Aldo, Clara, and Valentin. From the way they were grabbing at the pulley, it looked like they all wanted to be the one to cross right after me. I think Mehdi and Nico were trying to calm them down, but Clara ended up winning and came flying straight into my arms. Valentin followed, and he flew straight into my arms as well. I guess I got more than I bargained for.

  Next Aldo threw himself across, yelling, “I’m-a the prankmaster!” But two seconds later, disaster struck! He got stuck in the middle of the traverse . . . right over the gap! Let’s just say he immediately went from laughing to crying, and he started flailing wildly in an attempt to move the pulley forward.

  I was a little worried for him, but I suddenly remembered the advice from Dindin Hood’s Journal. I cupped my hands around my mouth and first tried to calm Aldo down. Then I explained how he could climb back up the pulley. If he turned along the cable so that his back faced the intended direction, putting his arms as far behind his head as possible would make his body parallel with the cable and move him backward slow and steady. That’s exactly what was written in Dindin’s notebook—he’s seriously a lifesaver! For the first time in nearly two weeks, Aldo, this first-class troublemaker, listened to instructions. He was able to get back to where he started to try zipping across again . . . scared to death, but at least with more momentum this time.

  Then we cheered on everyone else who joined us one by one, yelling things like:

  When Nico arrived on his turn, he nodded to me and whispered that I’d done a good job with Aldo. Without me, that wimp could’ve said “ciao” to this cruel world!

  It must have been late, because the sun was already starting to set. Luckily, the “extraction point” was only ten minutes away, and we were super relieved to see the buildings of Champ Camp appear in the distance.

  We all joined hands, I raised our totem pole up high, and we ran all the way back to camp. We were finally back to our camp! Before heading to the dining hall with the others, Aldo came to see me. He wanted to talk man to man, one on one.

  It’s super late at the time I’m writing this. Today was our last full day at camp, and the schedule was packed. Tomorrow, we’ll get back on the bus and return to our homes. And after everything we’d just gone through together, the mood was a little glum.

  We spent part of the morning summarizing and discussing the backpacking trip and camp in general. Nathan, the brainy kid, said that, “broadly speaking, camp was a slice of life that will enrich his future.” Samuel said this was his best year at camp yet, but it was his last because he’s too old to come back again. Lola

  For his part, Nico wasn’t sorry he came (and me, neither!). Romain gave the dining hall five stars. Killian added that he was “stoked to come back next year.” Aldo admitted he’d made some real friends at camp, and even Valentin said he’d “grown up a lot” over the last two weeks.

  Anthony gave me the talking stick and asked if I’d appreciated my vacation after all. I had no choice but to acknowledge that, despite the “bumpy start
,” I’d really loved the last two weeks at Champ Camp. Gerald gave this whole speech about the courage and self-control we’d shown during the wilderness trek, and he told us we were a great group. He passed out a medal to each of us and congratulated everyone. We patted each other on the back and took a group photo in the middle of camp.

  In the dining hall, we had a celebration lunch of chicken, fries, and chocolate cake. All of our free time in the afternoon was spent packing our bags. My roommates and I all swapped our favorite T-shirts, like soccer players after a match. I gave my IAG shirt to Mehdi. All of a sudden, I felt a pillow hit me smack dab on my head. It was Yanis, who’d just provoked a battle from his perch on the top bunk. It was on!