A Seat by the Hearth

by Amy Clipston

  After a silent prayer, he filled his plate with steak, a baked potato, and string beans. He ate a bite of the steak and nodded. “You still make the best country-fried steak.”

  “Danki.” Her expression grew impatient. “Now, tell me what happened.”

  Between bites he shared his story, starting with the discussion he and Priscilla had in the barn earlier and ending with their conversation on the porch of the daadihaus. He told her every detail, not holding back anything despite his swelling guilt and frustration. When he finished speaking, he angled his body toward his twin and held his breath, awaiting her sage assessment and advice.

  When she stared at him wide-eyed, he placed his fork beside his plate and gave her a palm up. “Well, sis? What do you have to say?”

  “I-I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I’m a little overwhelmed. I’m trying to get my brain around the fact that Trent hurt Priscilla, you almost kissed her in the barn, and the bishop and her dat are forcing you two to get married. It’s a lot to take in, Mark.”

  He gave her a grave nod. “I know.”

  “When I asked her about Trent, she didn’t share that he’d hurt her. She just said she had to leave.”

  “Really?” Mark asked. “You’re her best freind and she didn’t tell you?”

  “No, but she confided in you.”

  Mark puzzled over that for a moment. Why would Priscilla trust him and not Laura? Of course, he’d seen the evidence when the sleeve of her dress ripped. That made the difference. She couldn’t hide that scar from him any longer.

  “I could feel your confusion and anger all day.” She touched her collarbone. “But I never in my wildest dreams imagined you would tell me this.” She pressed her lips together, opened her mouth, and then closed it again.

  “What?” He leaned forward. “Don’t hold back. What were you going to say?”

  “I’m surprised John is being so forceful about this. When Rudy’s mamm talked to him about how I was staying over here to take care of Mollie, John was reasonable. He told Allen I shouldn’t stay here, and he trusted Allen and me to make the right decision.” She rubbed her belly as she settled back in her chair. “I guess he feels that it would be best for the community if Priscilla is married. It’s bedauerlich to hear that, but I guess I can see his point of view. I just think it should be Priscilla’s choice and your choice who you want to marry.”

  “Exactly. He also said it would be gut for my reputation if I were married since I seem to enjoy spending time with the young women in our community. I know the family teases me, but I never thought other people were judging me because I like to have more than one female freind.” Mark nearly spat the word. “And not only are Yonnie and John blackmailing me with the threat of shunning, but Yonnie is trying to bribe me as well by offering me half of his business, land, and a haus. It’s not right.”

  “No, it’s not. I’m very disappointed in Yonnie.” She looked down at the table.

  “So what do you think I should do?”

  Her gaze snapped to his. “What do you want to do?”

  “I can’t let Yonnie throw Priscilla and Ethan out on the street, and I can’t allow John to shun her again and ruin her name in the community. She’s been through enough.”

  “Huh.” A smile seemed to tug at the corner of her lips.

  “What?” He groaned. “Please just say what you’re thinking.”

  “I find it interesting that you’re thinking only of Priscilla. You haven’t said much about how this will affect you.”

  “That’s not an answer I was hoping you’d give me. What do you think I should do?”

  “I don’t know.” Laura shook her head. “This is your decision.”

  “You’re not helping.” Mark rubbed at his eyes as his headache flared. “I need your advice. I need you to be Mamm and tell me what to do.”

  “I miss her so much.”

  “I know. I do too.” Mark slumped in his chair. “She would know what I should do.” He picked up his fork and moved the remaining string beans around on his plate. “I can’t stop thinking about the pain in Priscilla’s eyes when she told me what Trent had done to her. I’ve never been so angry in all my life. I wanted him to feel that same pain, but I also wanted to take her pain away. I’ve never felt anything like that.”

  Laura snapped her fingers. “I was right! You are in love with her.”

  “What?” Mark shook his head. “No, no, no. Just because I care about her doesn’t mean I’m in love with her.”

  She smiled. “You love her, Mark. Just admit it.”

  He sighed. “I came over here to get your help, sis. This isn’t helping.”

  She glanced toward the doorway. “You want my honest opinion?”

  He rolled his eyes. “You’re really going to ask me that?”

  “Fine, fine.” She waved him off. “I think you should pray about it and then follow your heart. If you truly care about Priscilla and you can see yourself building a life with her, then you should marry her.”

  “You think I’m capable of being a gut husband?”

  “Why not?”

  “Sis, no one knows me better than you do. You know just how spoiled, self-centered, and cocky I am. How can I possibly be capable of taking care of a fraa and a sohn?”

  She gave him a cheeky grin. “Ya, but you’ve got me as your twin, so at least you have something going for you.”

  He guffawed. “That’s something I would’ve said. I’m proud of you.” His smile faded. “But seriously. I’ll let Priscilla down from day one. This will never work. She’s better off without me.”

  A pleasant smile curved up his twin’s lips as she touched his bicep. “That is the most humble statement I’ve ever heard you make. If you keep striving every day to be a gut husband and dat, then you will be.”

  He stared at her.

  She pushed back her chair and stood. “You need to finish your meal. I have a surprise for you.”

  “What?”

  “I made your favorite dessert too.” She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a chocolate cake.

  “That’s wunderbaar. You just made my day so much better. Danki, sis.”

  “I said you were on my mind today.” With a smile she carried the cake to the table. “We can have it when Allen and Mollie come back down.” Then she returned to the counter where she gathered a knife, four cake plates, and forks. “Mark, just open your heart to God, and he’ll lead you down the right path for you and Priscilla. He did the same for Allen and me.”

  Mark nodded as he chewed another piece of steak. He swallowed and took a drink of water. “If I marry her, I want you to promise to keep all this a secret. I don’t want anyone to know we were forced to marry. I don’t want to risk her reputation in any way. I need to protect her and Ethan from the gossips in this community.”

  Laura gave him a knowing smile. “You know your secret is safe with me.”

  “Danki.” He was so grateful for his twin.

  “I need to talk to you about something.” Priscilla tucked Ethan’s sheet around him.

  “Okay.” Ethan’s dark eyes focused on her with interest. “What is it?”

  “Mark and I have decided to get married.”

  “Oh.” Ethan nodded. “So that means he’ll live with us, right?”

  “That’s exactly right. We’re going to stay in the daadihaus until we build another haus.”

  “Will he be mei daed?”

  “Ya, he’ll be your stepfather. Do you know what that means?”

  He nodded. “My best friend, Nico, has a stepfather. So he has two fathers.”

  “Right.” She rubbed his arm. “How do you feel about that?”

  Ethan shrugged. “It’s okay.” He paused for a minute as if contemplating something. “Can I call Mark Dat since he’ll be my Amish dad?”

  “Ya, I think that would be fine.” She smiled as relief flooded her. He seemed to be taking it better than she thought he would.

  “My frien
d Sammi back in Baltimore said people fall in love and then they get married. Does that mean that you and Mark are in love?”

  “Ah, well, no, not exactly.” Priscilla rubbed at a knot in her shoulder. “Mark and I are friends—freinden. Sometimes freinden decide to get married.” She stilled, hoping her son would accept that answer.

  “Okay.” He nodded again. “So if two people really like each other, they can get married.”

  “Right.”

  “And that means you, me, and Mark will live in a haus together just like a family?”

  Priscilla smiled as an unexpected warmth rolled through her. “That’s exactly right.”

  “Nico has a half brother and a half sister. Will I get a brother and sister too? A bruder and schweschder?”

  Her stomach lurched at the unexpected question. How was she going to address the intimacy issue with Mark? They weren’t in love, but would he still expect her to fulfill her wifely duties? She shivered at the notion.

  “Are you okay, Mamm?”

  “Ya, I just don’t know the answer to that question. I guess we’ll see.”

  “Okay.” He snuggled down under the sheet and yawned. “Gut nacht.”

  “Gut nacht. I love you.” She kissed his forehead and then stepped out of his room, closing the door behind her.

  As she walked into her bedroom, Ethan’s question rolled around in her head, and the muscles in her shoulders tightened. Tomorrow she and Mark would visit the bishop and decide on a wedding date. Then her new life with Mark Riehl would be set in motion.

  She dropped onto her chair and stared at her sewing machine, which she’d believed would be her ticket to freedom from the Amish community. But now she was trapped here and heading into a marriage she’d never wanted. When she married Mark she’d be yoked to him for the rest of her life since divorce wasn’t permitted. She’d be forced to marry a man she didn’t love, which meant the marriage would be a sham. She’d never know what it was like to fall in love with a man who loved her in return.

  Could she stomach seeing Mark every day, thinking of everything she’d given up to marry him? Would she resent him, and would that resentment morph into hate? If so, would Ethan sense her animosity toward his stepfather? How could that be healthy for her son?

  Marrying Mark also meant she’d have to give up any chance to leave the community. Unless she was strong enough to leave and never look back, the decision to marry Mark would keep her trapped on her father’s farm and stuck to Mark’s side for eternity. This was a path she’d never envisioned or wanted. But how could she not offer her son the safety and security of a real home?

  She held back threatening tears and ran her finger over the cool metal machine. Tomorrow she would have to choose a color and begin creating her wedding dress and the dresses for her attendants. And after they were married, she’d have to pack up her things and move into the daadihaus with Mark. How would she ever survive this?

  With prayer.

  The answer came from deep in her heart. She closed her eyes and opened herself to God.

  I don’t know why you’ve chosen this path for me, but I have to trust that you’re in control. Please help me make the best decisions for Ethan, and please guide Mark to make the best decision for him. I’m scared, but I know you’ll keep Ethan and me safe.

  Then she got ready for bed, climbed in, snuffed out the lantern, and stared at the ceiling.

  SIXTEEN

  “DID YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND?” PRISCILLA TURNED toward Mark as he guided the horse out of her father’s driveway and wiped her sweaty palms down the skirt of her rose-colored dress.

  “Change my mind about what?” Mark kept his gaze focused on the road ahead.

  “About marrying me? Did you decide to be shunned instead?”

  “No.” He shook his head without taking his eyes off the windshield. “I’m not going to back out on you.”

  “Oh.” She chewed on her lower lip. “So you’re going to go through with it?”

  “Ya, if you are.” He peeked over at her.

  “I was planning on it. Did you tell your family last night?”

  “I told only Laura. I went to see her after I left here.”

  “Oh.” Priscilla’s stomach writhed as she envisioned Mark telling Laura he was going to marry her. “Did you tell her what happened yesterday?”

  He nodded, still looking straight ahead.

  “Did you tell her everything?”

  “Ya, I did.” He gave her a sideways glance. “We can trust Laura.”

  As his words echoed through her mind, she found herself stuck on the word we. She and Mark were a couple now. But would he think of Priscilla before he thought of the other women he’d been seeing in the community? Could he ever truly love and cherish her the way a husband should? Did she want him to?

  “I mean it,” he added. “Laura and I have always shared our deepest secrets. She won’t tell anyone about the bishop insisting we marry or be shunned. When we tell the rest of the community, they only need to know that I asked you to marry me. The rest is our business.”

  “Okay.” She nodded. “What did she say about what happened?”

  “She was surprised John was so forceful with his demand for us to marry. She said she was disappointed in him and your dat.”

  “And she’s not disappointed in me?”

  Mark halted the horse at a red light and angled his body toward her. “Why would she be disappointed in you?”

  “Because you’re her bruder, and you’re being forced to marry me.”

  “Laura would never blame you for any of this.” The tenderness in his eyes hummed through her. “You’re her best freind. Why would she be disappointed in you?”

  “Because this wasn’t your choice. You’re her twin, her closest relative, and your future has been decided for you.”

  “Laura has been pressuring me to settle down for a long time. She’d be the last person to be upset about it. Besides, like I said, you’re her best freind. She told me to pray about it last night and then follow my heart.”

  “And?” Priscilla held her breath.

  “I prayed about it, and, well, here I am. We’re on our way to see the bishop and make plans for the wedding.”

  They rode in silence for several minutes. Priscilla’s thoughts swirled in her mind. She was going to marry Mark Riehl. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine she’d become Priscilla Riehl.

  “Did you tell Ethan?”

  The question took her by surprise. When she looked at Mark, she found him studying her as the horse sat at another red light.

  “Ya, I did.”

  “And . . . ?”

  “He took it well.” She smiled. “He wants to know if he can call you Dat since you’ll be his Amish dad.”

  A cryptic emotion flashed in his eyes. Was it affection, fondness, surprise, or something else?

  “Would that be okay with you?” she asked.

  “Ya.” His voice sounded thick. “That would be just fine.”

  When a horn tooted behind them, Mark guided the horse through the intersection and turned onto the road that led to John Smucker’s dairy farm.

  Tiny balls of anxiety formed in Priscilla’s belly as Mark guided the horse up the short driveway to the daadihaus located behind the main farmhouse where John’s son lived with his family. She gathered all her courage from deep within her. She could go through with this for her son.

  “Are you ready?” Mark asked as he halted the horse.

  “I think so.” She climbed out of the buggy and met him by his horse as he tied it to the fence. “Have you given any thought to a date?”

  He smiled. “I assumed you’d be in charge of that. You just tell me what date and time, and I’ll be there.”

  She nodded. “All right. I was thinking the fourth Thursday in September. That gives me five weeks to make dresses and all the preparations.”

  “That sounds gut to me.” He made a sweeping gesture toward the front steps. “I’ll follow
you.”

  Priscilla’s heart thudded so fast she thought it might rip through her rib cage as she climbed the steps and knocked on the door. Mark stood directly behind her, his body heat mixing with hers. Why did his nearness drive her crazy?

  The door swung open and Naomi, John’s wife, smiled at her. “Priscilla. Mark. It’s so nice to see you.”

  “Hi, Naomi.” Priscilla forced her lips into a smile. “We were wondering if we could speak with John.”

  “Oh. Was he expecting you?” Naomi’s gaze bounced between them.

  “No, not really,” Mark chimed in. “Does he have a few minutes to talk?”

  “Ya, of course.” Naomi motioned for them to enter. “Please have a seat. I’ll tell him you’re here.”

  Priscilla stepped into the small cottage and scanned the room, finding a small sitting area with a sofa, two wing chairs, two end tables with propane lamps, and a coffee table.

  Mark moved past her and touched her arm. “We can sit.” He sank onto the sofa and patted the cushion beside him.

  She swallowed and then sat down beside him. When her leg brushed his, she felt a flutter in her chest as her pulse took on wings. Had she lost her mind?

  “Priscilla. Mark.” John stepped into the family room and gave them a big smile, as if this were a joyous occasion. “How nice to see you.”

  Priscilla swallowed the acidic words that threatened to leap from her tongue. He was the bishop, and he could convince the other ministers to shun her. She had to keep her tongue in check.

  “Hi, John.” Mark stood and shook his head. “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

  The sounds of dishes clinking and water running came from the kitchen. Was Naomi truly cleaning up? Or was it an excuse to listen in on their conversation with her husband?

  John sat on a wing chair across from them and smiled. “What brings you here today?”

  Priscilla gave Mark a sideways glance, and Mark’s expression seemed to warn her to not say anything acerbic.

  “We’ve decided to get married.” Mark gestured toward her. “Priscilla has picked a date, so we’d like to discuss arrangements.”

  “That’s wunderbaar.” John clasped his hands together and sat forward. “I think you’ve made the best choice.”