A Seat by the Hearth

by Amy Clipston

  Priscilla held back a frown.

  Mark’s expression grew serious, and he lowered his voice. “We want everyone to know that we came to the decision to marry on our own. I don’t want any rumors floating around that we were forced into this decision. Do you understand?”

  Priscilla’s eyes rounded as appreciation snuffed out her anger. Was Mark defending her reputation?

  “Ya, of course.” John’s expression was solemn. “Our conversation yesterday has been kept confidential. I haven’t shared it with anyone.”

  Priscilla felt her body relax slightly.

  John’s expression suddenly brightened. “What date have you chosen?”

  For the next ten minutes, Mark and John discussed their wedding plans while Priscilla listened, her head swimming with the gravity of it all. This was really going to happen. She hadn’t dreamed the bishop’s ultimatum. She was going to marry Mark Riehl and live with him in the daadihaus on her parents’ farm. She was trapped in a life she’d considered leaving after she earned enough money.

  How was she going to adjust to being someone’s lawful wife? Would the marriage really work? Could she and Mark build a harmonious life together? What if they didn’t get along? Would it be a healthy environment for Ethan?

  But more than that, she couldn’t envision herself living with another man. How was she going to ever trust Mark after the way Trent treated her? Would Mark one day turn to drinking alcohol and hitting her the way Trent had? The Amish didn’t permit divorce, so she would be stuck with this marriage for the rest of her life, no matter what. Was she prepared to make this life commitment to a man she didn’t even love?

  Her head ached and her neck stiffened as she considered the reality of what was happening.

  “Priscilla?”

  “Ya?” She turned to Mark. He was studying her.

  “Do you have any other questions for John?” Mark’s brow furrowed as if he were asking her if she was okay.

  “No, danki.” She smoothed her hands down the skirt of her dress. “I think we’re all set.”

  “Fantastic.” John stood, and they followed suit. He leaned forward and lowered his voice as he shook Mark’s hand again. “You’ve made the right decision, and I’m convinced you won’t regret it.”

  I pray you’re right. Priscilla shook his hand. “Danki.”

  Priscilla was in a daze as she climbed into Mark’s buggy to start their journey back to her father’s farm. She had to gain control of this situation.

  “We need to set some ground rules,” she blurted as Mark guided his horse toward the road.

  “Ground rules?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “Ya.” She sat up taller as unexpected confidence surged past her inner turmoil. “This is going to be a marriage in name only. We’re going to live like two freinden, not husband and fraa.”

  He nodded slowly as if understanding her implications. “Agreed.”

  “When mei daadi built the daadihaus, mei mammi had two requests. She wanted a fireplace and hearth like ones she’d seen at an Englisher bed and breakfast, and she wanted an extra bedroom as a sewing room. After she died my parents put a spare double bed in that room. I’ll sleep there with Ethan.” She clasped her hands together while awaiting his response. Would he agree to her not being with him at night?

  “Okay.” He kept his eyes focused ahead. “I respect that.”

  “Gut.” Her heartbeat slowed to a more normal pace. “So I guess now we have to tell our families?”

  “Ya, I guess so.” His gaze flickered to hers. “Yours first?”

  “Ya, although since they both already know everything, I’m sure the conversation will be mostly about wedding plans—especially in front of Ethan.” She sucked in a deep breath. “How’s your family going to take the news?”

  “They’re going to be surprised.” His words were slow, measured.

  “Will they approve of me?”

  He halted the horse at a red light and faced her. “Sweetheart, they’re going to be so shocked and delighted that I’m settling down that they will shower you with love and affection.” He smiled. “And, ya, they already approve of you. You’re one of Laura’s dearest freinden. You’re already family.”

  She rubbed her forehead. What if she let his family down? What if she let Laura down?

  “So we have five weeks to make your dresses.” Mamm clapped her hands as a bright smile spread across her lips. “How many attendants will you have?”

  Priscilla drew a blank. She turned to Mark as he sat beside her at her parents’ kitchen table. When they arrived home, her mother already had lunch prepared for them—platters of rolls, lettuce, lunch meat, and cheese sat by a bowl of macaroni salad and jars of condiments. She’d begun peppering Priscilla with wedding questions as soon as she and Mark walked in the door.

  “We haven’t talked about attendants yet.” Priscilla set her ham sandwich on her plate and turned toward Mark. “I suppose you’d like to have your bruders?”

  Mark nodded and swallowed. “Jamie, Roy, and Walter.” He looked over at Ethan. “And Ethan too.”

  “So I could have Laura, Cindy, and Sarah Jane.” She turned to her mother. “We need to make four dresses.”

  “What color?” Mamm asked.

  “Red,” Mark said.

  Priscilla spun toward him. “Red?”

  He pointed toward her. “It looks great on you with your dark hair.”

  Priscilla studied him, confusion filling her mind. He’d noticed what color looked best on her?

  “I think you look good in red too!” Ethan said between bites of macaroni salad.

  “They’re right,” Mamm said. “So we need to get to the store.”

  “Let me ask his schweschdere first,” Priscilla said.

  “They’ll say ya,” Mark chimed in.

  “Have you told your family yet?” Mamm said.

  “Only Laura,” Mark said. “And she was supportive. We should go to mei dat‘s for supper tonight and tell them.”

  “Ya, you should,” Mamm said. “You know how news flies through this community. Once it gets out, everyone will know. You want your family to hear it from you.”

  “That’s a gut point.” Mark took a drink of water from his glass.

  “Can I come?” Ethan asked.

  “Of course you can,” Mark said. “You’re family too.”

  Priscilla’s stomach churned as she imagined facing Mark’s large family when he told them they were going to get married. Would they believe she and Mark had fallen in love in only two months? Or would they see right through Mark’s façade?

  “We need to start working on the biggest barn,” Dat said. “We’ll want it to be clean and painted for the ceremony. Some of the floorboards need to be replaced as well.”

  Priscilla’s gaze snapped to her father’s face as he looked across the table at Mark. Her father was smiling, and while he was admitting the barn wasn’t already in perfect shape too. Was he happy that she was getting married? Or was he happy he’d gotten his way? It was probably a mixture of both. She frowned.

  “I’ll help paint the barn.” Ethan held up his hand as if he were volunteering at school.

  “And we should plant flowers,” Mamm added. “We should plant your favorites, Priscilla—daisies.”

  “I love the idea.” Priscilla smiled. “I’ve missed working in the garden. I couldn’t do that when we lived in Baltimore. It’s my favorite hobby.”

  “I’ll help!” Ethan’s expression brightened.

  “Danki, Ethan,” Priscilla said.

  “We need to get to the nursery too, then. I have to make a list.” Mamm took a notepad and pen from the counter and began writing a shopping list, announcing each item they’d need for the wedding.

  “We have to clean out the daadihaus too,” Dat added. “We should probably paint the inside. When do you think you’ll move in, Mark?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe the night before the wedding?” Mark asked.

  “No, th
at will be too chaotic.” Dat shook his head. “How about a couple of weeks before the wedding?”

  “That sounds gut.” Mark picked up his turkey sandwich. “What do we need for the haus?”

  “It’s furnished,” Dat said. “It just needs to be cleaned.”

  Priscilla’s lunch suddenly felt like a lead ball in the pit of her stomach. Everything was happening so fast. When was it all going to slow down?

  The conversation swirling around her faded as she stared down at her plate and imagined her life marching by. She was about to embark on a new journey—a new but loveless marriage in a new home. How was she going to cope?

  She turned toward Mark and took in his handsome profile—his chiseled cheekbones, strong jaw, and bright-blue eyes. He would be her husband, living with Ethan and her, but he would never truly love her. Further, he’d never have the opportunity to fall in love with anyone else. She was robbing him of his future just as much as he was stealing hers. Maybe she should’ve agreed to be shunned.

  Her gaze moved to Ethan as he grinned at Mark. She had to agree to marry Mark for Ethan. He deserved a safe home, and Mark would be a good provider and role model for her son.

  She could do this. After all, she’d survived living with Trent for almost seven years.

  “We have a lot of work to do.” Mamm beamed as she looked around the table. “This will be a family effort. We’ll get it all done in time.” She turned her smile to Priscilla and whispered, “I’m so froh. You made the right decision.”

  Priscilla forced a smile. If only she had the same confidence in her future.

  SEVENTEEN

  “WE HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.” MARK glanced around the full table in his father’s kitchen that evening. He was standing near his daed, Priscilla at his side.

  For some reason, he had decided to wait until they were finished eating before he told everyone the reason he’d called and requested a last-minute family supper. They’d been patient as they shared the delicious chicken and egg noodles Florence made, but he could tell they were all bursting with curiosity—especially since he’d invited Priscilla and Ethan to join them.

  Poor Ethan had squirmed in his chair the whole meal, dying to tell his secret. But Priscilla had given him strict instructions to keep quiet.

  Now the whole family was staring at Mark. He turned toward his fiancée, and her brown eyes widened with something that looked like fear sparkling in them. He looped his arm around her shoulders and yanked her to him, causing her to stumble awkwardly before grabbing his waist to right herself.

  “Priscilla and I are getting married.” His voice sounded too loud and slightly wobbly.

  The room went silent and someone muttered, “What?”

  “Yeah! Mark’s going to be my stepdad!” Ethan said.

  Then Florence stood and clapped. “That’s wunderbaar!” She hurried over and hugged Mark and then Priscilla. “Oh, what a blessing! When is the wedding?”

  Priscilla shared the date, her voice quiet and unsure.

  “Oh my goodness!” Kayla jumped up from her seat. “That’s not too far off.” She turned to Laura and Cindy. “We need to help Priscilla get ready. There’s so much to do.”

  The women gathered around Priscilla. After each one took a turn hugging her, they immediately began to discuss wedding plans. Mark stole a glance at Ethan. He and Mollie seemed fascinated by the commotion among all the adults.

  Dat and Jamie appeared beside Mark. They shared a confused look and then turned to face him.

  “Is this a joke?” Dat whispered, and Mark shook his head, his throat suddenly dry.

  “This is a shock.” Jamie eyed him with suspicion. “You sure acted like you weren’t ready to get married the last time we talked.”

  Dat patted Mark’s back. “I never saw this coming. You really kept it quiet that you were dating.”

  “Well, you know how it is.” Mark grinned and hoped he sounded convincing. “We couldn’t wait. I was just so excited that she came back to the community, and I couldn’t wait to ask after she became a member again.”

  Priscilla turned toward Mark and gave him a look that said, Knock it off, before turning back to his sisters. “We’re going to keep it small, only family and freinden, but I’d love for you three to be my attendants.”

  Cindy squinted her eyes as she studied Priscilla. “Why are you going to keep it small? Everyone is so froh you’re back.”

  “Danki,” Priscilla began, “but I’m not sure everyone is glad I’m back.”

  “Why would you say that?” Sarah Jane asked.

  When a wry smile turned up Priscilla’s pretty lips, Mark braced himself for her sardonic comment.

  “Well, I don’t think the other young maed from my youth group will be cheering when they learn Mark asked me to marry him instead of any of them.” Priscilla turned toward Mark. “I might have some hecklers.”

  Laura and Jamie burst out laughing, and Mark glowered at them.

  “What are you going to tell Franey and Ruthann?” Laura asked.

  “I think they’ll be fine,” Mark said.

  Cindy shook her head. “I’m not so sure. Franey seems pretty determined to be your fraa.”

  “Let’s celebrate!” Florence moved to the counter and picked up a chocolate cake.

  “Oh,” Mark said, nearly groaning. “My favorite.”

  Jamie smacked Mark’s back and then leaned up close to his ear. “We’re going to talk later. Come by mei haus after you take Priscilla and Ethan home. I’ll wait up for you.” Then he walked over to the chair where Calvin sat on a booster seat and patted his head before sitting down beside him.

  Mark swallowed. How was he going to convince his older brother that this marriage was genuine?

  He turned to Priscilla as she continued to discuss plans with the women in his family. She looked beautiful with her cheeks flushed pink and her eyes sparkling in the light of the Coleman lanterns hanging above them. His heart swelled when he imagined living with her in the daadihaus. Could they make this marriage work? Would she ever have any affection for him?

  Oh no. Was he falling for her? He couldn’t allow himself to feel anything but friendship for her. Her heart wasn’t in this marriage, and her ground rules proved how disconnected she felt from him. She didn’t want to truly be with him, and she’d never give him her whole heart. She didn’t desire to have children with him. She’d made it apparent that she craved only the stability of the marriage for the sake of her son.

  Was she only biding her time until she could afford to move out? When he gave her access to his bank account, would she take his money and leave him alone in the daadihaus? What would he do then? He’d never be permitted to remarry while Priscilla was still alive.

  “Who wants kuche?” Florence announced as she set two chocolate cakes on the table.

  “Eat some kuche,” Laura whispered in Mark’s ear. “Everything is going to be fine.”

  Hoping his sister was right, Mark sat down, looked up at Priscilla, and patted the seat beside him. She sat down, and he smiled as his family continued to embrace his future wife.

  It seemed that his family would accept his announcement as genuine—as long as he could convince Jamie that it was.

  “What’s on your mind?”

  Priscilla swiped her hand down her face and contemplated how to put all her churning thoughts into words as Mark guided the buggy back to her father’s farm later that evening.

  She glanced into the back of the buggy where Ethan slept and thought about Mark’s family. They had seemed surprised but supportive of their decision to marry.

  Soon she’d be a member of the Riehl family, and her heart warmed at the idea. Even Ethan seemed to fit in as he played with Mollie and Calvin. But if marrying Mark was so right, why did it feel so wrong? She wouldn’t have a real marriage, but it would be the next best thing. Didn’t that make it acceptable in God’s eyes? Wasn’t this what God wanted her to do for her son?

  “I can smell th
e smoke from your thoughts all the way over here.” Mark grinned at her. “Why don’t you just share what’s bothering you?”

  “Nothing. I was just thinking about how your family is so supportive.”

  He snickered. “Yeah, they sure are. Sometimes they’re too interested in my business.”

  “That’s because they love you. You’re blessed to have their love and support.”

  His smile faded as he gave her a sideways glance, but he remained silent.

  She shifted in the seat. “I am wondering why you didn’t tell your family the truth.”

  “The truth about what?”

  “About why we’re getting married. They can’t possibly believe we’re in love.”

  Mark rubbed his chin as if considering his answer. “I didn’t think they needed to know.”

  “Because you’re embarrassed. You don’t want them to know the bishop found us sitting close together in the barn, right?”

  “No. Because we didn’t do anything wrong. They don’t need to think we were having an inappropriate relationship. Like I told you earlier, only Laura knows, and I intend to keep it that way.”

  Was he truly protecting her reputation? Or his own? The question took hold of her mind as they approached her father’s farm.

  But was it fair to expect him to keep it a secret if her family knew the truth? No, it wasn’t. He was in this as much as she was.

  She turned toward him. “Mark, if you want to tell your family the truth, then you should. I trust you to explain what happened, and I trust your family too.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Okay. But I don’t think I will.”

  When Mark halted the horse in front of her father’s porch, Priscilla woke Ethan, and they all climbed out of the buggy.

  Mark walked them to the steps, and after saying good night to Mark, Ethan hurried into the house.

  Priscilla looked up at Mark, and a fist-size ball of unease formed under her ribs. “So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow . . . and then at church.”

  “I have to run some preplanned errands for the farm all day tomorrow, but I’ll pick up you and Ethan for the service on Sunday.”