A Seat by the Hearth

by Amy Clipston

  “Why?”

  “We’re engaged now, so we should ride to and from church together.”

  “Right. We have to make sure everyone believes this is real.”

  “So I’ll see you Sunday.” He started down the steps.

  “Mark,” she called after him, and he spun toward her. “Are you ready for the community to find out about us?”

  He rested his hand on the railing. “Ya, I am. Are you?”

  “Ya.” She nodded. “Gut nacht.”

  “Gut nacht.” He strode down the steps.

  As his horse and buggy started down the driveway, she glanced around her father’s vast property. Of course Mark was ready for the community to find out he was marrying Priscilla. After all, he hadn’t turned down her father’s offer of half his successful horse breeding and training business and land. He was set financially for life. Besides that—and not wanting to be shunned—why else would he want to marry her?

  But was his desire for acceptance and wealth enough to sustain a commitment to her for a lifetime?

  The question lingered in her mind as she stepped into the house. She locked the front door and then walked into the kitchen, where a yellow lantern glowed. She stepped into the doorway and expected to find her mother there, but she bristled as her gaze collided with her father’s.

  “How did his family take your wedding announcement?” Dat lifted a glass of water and took a drink.

  “Fine.” She folded her arms over her waist. “They actually believe we’re in love.”

  The twinkle in her father’s eyes caused the angry knots in her shoulders to tighten.

  “Everything will work out just fine.” Dat stood and set the glass on the counter. “Mark will have the haus he’s always wanted and eventually my farm. You’ll have a husband, and Ethan will have a proper dat. Plus, my farm will finally have an heir since Ethan is here.”

  She shook her head as irritation churned in her stomach. “Have you ever considered what I want?” She jammed her finger into her collarbone. “You act as if my opinion doesn’t matter. You never once have thought about my happiness.”

  His eyes narrowed. “That’s not true. I’m doing what’s best for you and mei gross-sohn.” He pointed toward the ceiling. “Your bu needs a gut role model for a dat. Mark Riehl is a gut, solid Christian man.”

  “But shouldn’t marriage be based on mutual love and respect?” Her voice thinned. “Didn’t you marry Mamm because you loved her?”

  He waved off her comment. “Love and respect will come later.”

  “What if it doesn’t?” She raised her arms for emphasis. “What if I’m trapped in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life? Doesn’t that matter?”

  “What matters is that you and your sohn have a gut, stable home.” He took a step toward her, his lips forming a deep scowl. “Isn’t that better than living on the street?”

  “I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I thought my happiness mattered for something.”

  “Maybe you should have thought of that before you ran off and got pregnant,” he snapped.

  His words were a kick to her stomach, and she gasped as if the statement had caused her physical pain. Reeling from the cruelty in his dark eyes, she left the kitchen and mounted the stairs.

  She stopped short in the hallway when she heard her mother’s voice. It sounded as if Mamm was reading Ethan a story in his room. Priscilla leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes.

  “Please, God,” she whispered. “Give me strength. Help me find my way through this confusing mess.”

  Then she fought back threatening tears and stepped into her son’s room. She’d get through this somehow—for him.

  Mark stowed his horse and buggy in his father’s barn and then headed down the path to Jamie’s house. He found his older brother sitting on his porch, a lantern on the floor illuminating him as he rested his elbows on his thighs and leaned forward. A look of suspicion had overtaken his face.

  “I was wondering if you were going to stand me up,” Jamie said as Mark climbed the porch steps. “Just weeks ago you told me you weren’t ready to get married. You also told me I’d be the third to know when you got engaged. How could you not let me know you were planning to make this announcement?”

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you.” Mark dropped into the rocker beside Jamie and gave it a gentle push. “I wanted to tell everyone at the same time.”

  Jamie turned toward him, raising a dark eyebrow. “So what’s really going on here, little bruder?”

  Mark brushed his hands down his thighs and stared out toward the dark pasture. How was he going to lie to his older brother? But he made a promise to Priscilla, and he intended to keep that promise. She was going to be his wife, and their marriage needed a good, solid foundation based on trust.

  Who was he kidding? This was a marriage of convenience, arranged as punishment, thanks to the bishop.

  “Wow. I’ve never seen you be so secretive. This must be a gut story.”

  “No, not really.” Mark plastered a smile on his face. “Priscilla and I have fallen in love. I wasn’t expecting it, but it just happened.”

  Jamie’s loud laughter sliced through the air.

  Mark swallowed a groan.

  “You fell in love?” Jamie wiped his eyes. “Please, Mark. How gullible do you think I am?”

  Mark sighed and tipped his head back. Why hadn’t he just gone straight home and to bed?

  “What really happened?”

  Mark gripped the arms of the chair.

  Jamie’s smile faded. “You know you can trust me, right?”

  Mark nodded. “Ya, I do know that, but I made a promise.”

  “Wait a minute.” Jamie’s expression grew more serious. “Is she—do you have to get married?”

  “What?” Mark sat up straight. “No, no, no. It’s nothing like that.” He shook his head. “This is why I don’t want to tell you the truth. I’m afraid people are going to make assumptions about her and about us that aren’t true. I want people to believe that she came back after all these years, we fell in love, I proposed to her, and she said ya.”

  “So if that’s not what happened, what is the truth, Mark?”

  “I’ll tell you the truth, but you and Laura are the only ones who’ll know, other than Priscilla’s parents and the bishop. I want it to stay between us. Do you understand?”

  Jamie nodded. “Ya, I do. Now tell me.”

  Settling back against the rocking chair, Mark explained how Priscilla’s father and the bishop had found them when she opened up to him in the barn. He explained the bishop’s ultimatum, their decision to marry, and their meeting with John.

  When he finished speaking, Mark moved the rocker back and forth and stared out toward the pasture again, his stomach in knots while he waited for his brother’s opinion of it all.

  “Wow.”

  “Really?” Mark deadpanned. “All you can say is ‘wow’?”

  Jamie held up his hand. “Give me a minute to process this.”

  Mark rubbed his temples as that familiar stress headache began behind his eyes.

  “Do you love her?” Jamie asked.

  Mark hesitated. “She’s a gut freind.”

  “You shouldn’t marry her if you don’t love her. It will never work if you don’t have that foundation of love.”

  “I can’t confess to something I didn’t do, and she shouldn’t have to either. Plus, Yonnie offered me land and half the business, I’ll have a place of my own, and our siblings will have more room in the haus. It just makes sense.”

  “I understand, but that’s not a reason to get married.”

  “It’s a great reason.” Mark pointed to the porch floor. “I’ll have stability, and so will Priscilla and Ethan.”

  “You need to really think about this. Marriage is for life. You and Priscilla will resent each other if you marry for the wrong reasons. You deserve happiness too.”

  Mark shook his head. “You don’t un
derstand. I’ve already made the commitment to Priscilla, and we’ve spoken to John. I can’t go back on my decision. I can’t disappoint Priscilla like that. All the men in her life have let her down. Her father treats her terribly, and Ethan’s father abused her. If I change my mind, I’ll be just as bad as they are.”

  “Mark, please just listen to me.” Jamie leaned forward and held up his hand as if to calm Mark. “You will regret this. You need to talk to the bishop again. Tell him you think there should be another solution other than shunning or getting married. You and Priscilla weren’t doing anything inappropriate in the barn, and this has all been blown out of proportion. Make him understand that this isn’t right.”

  “I think it’s more complicated than that. I think Yonnie pressured the bishop to make us get married. I think he’s embarrassed by Priscilla and he wants to legitimize Ethan.” He glowered. “He only cares about how Priscilla looks to the community.”

  A strange expression flickered over Jamie’s face as he was silent.

  “What are you thinking?” Mark asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Jamie, just say it. I can feel your criticism.”

  “It’s not criticism. I think you care about her more than you’re willing to admit.”

  “No, I don’t. I care about her like I care about a freind. I just think this can be gut for both of us. She needs a husband as well as a father for Ethan. Besides, like I said, I’m getting land and a business.”

  “It might sound like a gut idea, but if you’re marrying her for what Yonnie will give you, the marriage is going to fail.”

  Anger whipped through Mark. “That’s easy for you to say. You have it all right here.” He gestured toward the house. “You have the farm, Kayla, Calvin, and a boppli on the way.”

  “I thought you didn’t want those things,” Jamie said, challenging him.

  Mark pressed his lips together. Jamie was right. When did Mark start wanting those things?

  They sat in silence for a beat.

  “Did you pray about it?” Jamie suddenly asked.

  “Ya, I did last night.”

  “What was the answer?”

  “The answer was ya, that I should marry her. Will you support me?”

  “Of course I will.” Jamie smiled. “And I think Priscilla is perfect for you.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “When she teased you about Franey and Ruthann tonight, I could tell she’s not intimidated by you. She’s not afraid to challenge you or speak her mind. Kayla is the same way with me. She challenges me just about every day. In my opinion that makes Priscilla a gut match for you. I just hope you two can find your way together.”

  A tangle of emotions expanded deep within Mark. “I do too.”

  EIGHTEEN

  “SO MARK.” ETHAN LEANED OVER MARK’S BUGGY seat Sunday morning. “When you marry mei mamm, does that mean Mollie and Calvin will be my cousins?”

  Mark tilted his head while keeping his eyes focused on the road ahead. “Ya, I guess they will be your cousins.”

  “Awesome. I’ve never had cousins before.”

  “Sit down,” Priscilla scolded him. “Stop hanging over the seat like that.”

  Ethan sat back, but he kept his attention on Mark. “Mom says we’re going to live in the daadihaus until Daadi builds us a bigger haus, and you’ll be my stepdad.”

  “Right.” Mark gave Priscilla a sideways grin.

  “I’m sorry,” she muttered as her cheeks heated. “We talked about this again last night, and he has a lot of questions for you.”

  “It’s fine. This is a big adjustment.” Mark looked over his shoulder at Ethan. “What do you want to ask me?”

  “Can I call you Dat since you’ll be my Amish dad?” Ethan tapped his chin. “Or should I call you Mark since you’re not my dad yet?”

  “You can call me whatever you want, but just don’t call me late for dinner.” Mark grinned, and Ethan hooted with laughter.

  “Oh, Mark.” Priscilla shook her head, but she couldn’t stop herself from chuckling.

  “In all seriousness,” Mark began with a sentimental smile, “you can call me Dat or Mark. It’s up to you.”

  Ethan rubbed his chin. “I think I’ll go with Mark for now and then Dat after you marry mei mamm.”

  “That sounds gut to me.” Mark glanced over at Priscilla and winked.

  The gesture touched Priscilla’s heart.

  Don’t allow him to lead you on. He’ll never truly love you!

  The voice startled her and cooled the warmth.

  When they arrived at the Yoders’ farm for the church service, Ethan hopped out of the back of the buggy.

  “Daadi is here,” he announced as he ran around to Priscilla’s door. “He said I can sit with him again today.”

  Priscilla nodded. “Okay.”

  “See you later!” Ethan waved as he hurried off.

  Priscilla climbed out of the buggy and watched Ethan meet her father near the barn. Then she turned to Mark as he sidled up to her. “I find it fascinating that mei dat isn’t froh to have me back, but he loves mei sohn.”

  Mark nodded toward her father. “You know how he is. Just give God time to melt his heart.”

  She turned toward him and studied his pleasant expression. “Are you sure you don’t want to change your mind about this?”

  “About what?”

  “About us.” She gestured between them. “This marriage. Becoming a stepfather and husband.”

  His expression hardened. “No, I don’t want to change my mind. Do you?”

  She hesitated and then said, “No.”

  He pursed his lips, his blue eyes gleaming in the morning light. “What are you thinking right now?”

  “The community is going to be shocked when they find out you’re marrying me.”

  “So?” Mark shrugged. “Let them be shocked. It’s our business.”

  She laughed. “No, that’s not how gossip works.”

  “Gossip is a sin.”

  “Ya, but it’s alive and well.”

  He took a step toward her and lowered his voice. “Are you okay?”

  The tenderness and concern she found in his face touched her deep in her soul. Was it genuine? No, it couldn’t be—at least not beyond being a friend. He was just trying to convince her this relationship would somehow last.

  “Ya, I will be.”

  “Gut.” He rubbed her arm, and the sudden, unexpected contact caused her to flinch. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just wanted to tell you it will be fine. I’ll see you after the service.”

  “Okay.” She drew in a deep breath and watched him saunter to the barn, where he greeted the men in his family.

  “Priscilla!” Mamm waved as she walked over to her. “It’s a schee day, ya?” She pointed to the cloudless, bright-blue sky.

  “Ya, it is.”

  “Let’s go inside.” Mamm gestured toward the house.

  Priscilla strode beside Mamm and entered the kitchen, where the women in the congregation were gathered in a circle greeting one another.

  Her mother walked over to Florence, and when Priscilla’s gaze fell on Laura, Sarah Jane, Cindy, and Kayla, she waved and walked over to them.

  “Gude mariye,” Priscilla said. “How are—”

  “There she is!” Florence announced. “There’s Mark’s bride!”

  All conversation around the kitchen ceased, and Priscilla saw every set of eyes focus on her. She felt as though their curiosity was burning into her skin. She tried to swallow against her suddenly arid throat as she hugged her arms around her waist.

  Florence smiled and held her hand to her chest. “I’m just so grateful Mark is finally going to settle down.”

  Priscilla stilled as a flush crawled up her neck to her face. Oh no, no. Please be quiet, Florence!

  “Mark Riehl is getting married?” a voice asked.

  “Really?” someone across the room said. “Mark is going to settle down?”

/>   Priscilla longed to crawl under the kitchen table and hide from the inquisitive crowd of women.

  “That’s right,” Florence continued. “They’re getting married in five weeks.”

  “It’s fine.” Laura’s voice was close to Priscilla’s ear. “Once the announcement is out, it will get easier.”

  Priscilla met her best friend’s kind eyes. “You think so?”

  “Of course.” Laura rubbed her arm.

  When Priscilla turned to her right, she found Franey’s eyes wide and glistening as she studied her. Then Franey turned and made a hasty exit out the back door.

  Embarrassment spread through Priscilla as a group of women huddled around her.

  “Congratulations,” Ruthann said as she hugged Priscilla. “I always hoped Mark would pick me, but I never really felt his heart was in our friendship.” She smiled, but her dark eyes were wet with unshed tears.

  “Danki,” Priscilla said as shock surged through her.

  “How did you get Mark Riehl to want to settle down?” a woman who looked to be her mother’s age asked.

  “You must have stolen his heart quickly,” another quipped.

  “Did you date when you were teenagers?” a third asked. “I don’t recall that he dated you.”

  “Your wedding is coming quickly. You have to get started on your dresses soon,” a fourth said.

  Priscilla took a deep breath and began trying to respond to the questions as quickly as they were thrown at her.

  Mark nodded at a couple of friends as he made his way through the knot of people milling around the barn after the service. His mind had been swimming with thoughts of his upcoming wedding as he tried but failed to concentrate on the sermons.

  His eyes had also kept gravitating to the unmarried women’s section, where Priscilla sat between Cindy and Sarah Jane. She looked radiant today in her pink dress, yet she also seemed lost in thought as she stared down at her lap. Had she been focused on their upcoming nuptials too?

  He stepped out of the barn and walked the path toward the house while recalling their conversation in the buggy this morning. He’d enjoyed his conversation with Ethan. For the first time in his life, he looked forward to becoming a father. He hoped and prayed he’d be a good one—like his father and Jamie were.