When I sit in the chair, immediately I cross my legs Indian style and get cozy. Tan adjusts himself so he is facing me. The somber tone is thick between us and there is no use in trying to pretend our time together here isn’t ending.
Tanner nudges my foot with his and his beautiful eyes meet mine, “I can always come home with you.”
I force a smile, even though I wanted to throat punch him for saying that. I softly say, “Let’s write.”
He says, “Let’s play the song game.”
My eyes light up, “Sure, you first.”
We sit in silence for a moment and he says, “Is your pen ready because this is gonna be awesome.”
I smack my lips and tell him, “Just go already, geez.”
He barks back with, “Okay, okay pushy.” Tanner begins playing the air guitar and then sings in his gruff delicious voice, ♫ “Trying to find my smile but it’s lost with every anticipated separating mile.”
My heart clenches tight. “You’re here with me right now, but knowing what’s coming up feels like I’m already gone.”
He looks down and sings, “The song on the radio is screaming at me telling me don’t let her turn into another girl in a country song.”
I look at him and tears fill my eyes. “Whiskey, beer, rye, nor weed takes the place of this You-shaped need.”
He belts out, “Attempting to fill the hole, standing in this bar just makes it undeniable that on my heart is a You-shaped scar.”
I can’t take this anymore. As I wipe my tears away, he leans over and cups my face with his hands. He captures my stare and softly says with a genuine tone, “Babe, we were made for each other. I will be home with you soon.”
Panic sets in and with an uncontrollably ugly cry I babble, “No, five months is a long time, I mean and with her. That stupid bitch. Why does she get to spend the time with you? I hate her.”
He laughs which pisses me off. He says, “Dylan, it’s you, baby. You are mine and I am yours. She doesn’t play any part of this. I am so in love with you. You are my Lyrics, always. Please don’t cry, baby, please.”
I pull myself together and we begin to write the song. Hours pass and this song is turning out amazing. Tanner, with very heavy sleepy eyes asks me, “What do you want to do tomorrow?”
I smile and slur, “You mean today?”
He half grins and says, “Yeah, today.”
I am exhausted and can’t imagine going sightseeing again. I say, “How would you feel about sitting by the pool and relaxing all day? We can drink, eat, and swim.”
He leans over, kisses my lips, and then says, “Sounds perfect.”
We are both so tired, it’s 3:45 a.m. and for some reason I ask Tanner, “What ever happened with Daniel?”
He looks at me as if I am looney. He asks, “Daniel, the one who you first had sex with?”
I laugh, “Yes, that Daniel.”
He looks at me strangely and asks, “You sure you want to know?”
My eyebrow raises and I say, “I think so.”
He sits up a bit and says, “Remember, you asked me to tell you.”
I nod and say, “Just tell me. It’s not as if I care at all. He was a total douche bag.”
Tanner says, “The night you came to my house crying, when you went home and I was sure you were sleeping, I went to pay Daniel a visit.” My eyes pop out of my head. He continues. “I knocked on his door and before he opened it, he mumbled something like, Dylan? I knew you’d be back for more.” My mouth drops open. Tanner has such sadness in his eyes. He says, “When he opened it I fucking punched him right on his cheek bone and just started yelling and wailing on him. A neighbor came and pulled me off. The neighbor was happy that somebody finally knocked that fucker out. Before I left, I made sure he understood that I would end his life if he ever contacted you again. To think, I thought I loved you then.”
Oh my God! For whatever reason, tears started streaming down my face again. What’s with this fucking water works? I look at this beautiful man next to me, my best friend, my Tan. I can’t believe how much a part of each other’s lives we have been. I mouth, “I love you.”
He wipes my tears and says, “Always. You are my always…always have been and always will be. I love you, baby.”
Tanner says, “Since we are in the questions mode, can I ask you one?”
I look at the clock and it is now 4:23 a.m. I mumble, “Sure.”
He hesitates and says, “You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.” I roll my eyes wondering what in the hell doesn’t he already know about me. He looks at me and asks, “We never really spoke about this and I know it is a shitty topic, but how was it when your mom was sick?”
I say, “I’m sure we’ve spoken about this. How could we not have?”
He says, “I never wanted to make you sad.”
I say, “I was seven when she was diagnosed with brain cancer so I didn’t know exactly what was going on. I knew dad was sad and Mom cried a lot at first. She and I were at the grocery store and she slipped on a spill. She hit her head and I guess she blacked out. I just remember screaming and thinking she was dead.”
Tanner asks, “You can get cancer from bumping your head?”
I can’t help but laugh. “No. When she had a CT scan to make sure there was no internal bleeding, they found a mass on her brain. It must have been large because they did a biopsy the next week and discovered that she had inoperable and untreatable cancer. The doctors gave her about six months to live, which of course I only found that out from eavesdropping on a conversation she and Dad had. I remember getting out a calendar and flipping to when six months would be. It was so close to my birthday and I felt so bad because I was angry that she might die on my birthday. Wow, I never told anybody that.” Tanner reaches out and softly rubs my hands with his. I can see the tears forming in his eyes. I continue, “It was hard seeing her fade away and become unable to move or eat. It was like looking at a shell of what my strong, beautiful mother was. That part was horrible. She would always act strong around me though. That’s when she gave me the handkerchief. Looking back, I think it was the only thing in arms reach for her. She told me that when I felt weak or scared, just hold the handkerchief and she would be there with me. Seeing Dad sad was maybe even harder. He wasn’t nearly as strong as my Mom was. He would spend a lot of time in his shed fixing shit that wasn’t even broken. I just think he didn’t know how to cope with the love of his life dying. He sure didn’t know what he was going to do with me.”
Tanner smiles and says, “He did a great job with you.”
I nod yes. I look down and say, “When she finally passed, it was July 11. I woke up and went to give her the usual morning hug and sing her a song but she had died that night. We had the funeral that Friday and then it was just Dad and me. I could tell that it hurt him to be in the house without her there but he didn’t want to make me move from the house where I grew up. So, five years later...I moved next door to what would turn out to be the most important person in my life! Your mom is something special.” Tanner pushes me over and laughs. I say, “Of course, you. Who would have thought such a tragedy would lead me to you, my best friend?”
Tanner pulls me on top of him and says, “I’m more than just your best friend. I’m your future husband and baby daddy”
A smile spreads on my face. “Yeah, babe, you’re my everything.”
Tanner grabs the notepad and says, “I got a song and you can’t see it yet. Go to sleep baby.”
Chapter 28
‘Should’ve known then what you would mean to me but hell we were only thirteen.’
Tanner –
I look at the clock on the bed stand and it is 8:15 a.m. The nerves are roaring in my stomach and I want to wake her up so badly. I grab my phone; write a note on a napkin telling Lyrics I’ll be back in a while, and rush downstairs to the concierge, hoping Stefan is there. I haven’t slept in what seems to be forever and I’m sure I look like a cracked out junkie. I s
ay as I shake his hand, “Stefan, please tell me you know a jeweler that is willing to make some money right now.”
His eyes grow wide and a smile almost cracks his statuesque face. He asks, “What kind of jewelry do you want? Is it a ring perhaps? For beautiful Dylan, I presume.”
My heart begins to thump so hard I swear I feel it in my ass. I say, “Yes sir, I am going to ask her to marry me. I just need a ring.”
Stefan looks at me and says, “My cousin Andre has a jewelry store, very beautiful stuff. I’ll call him now.” He hangs up and flags over a driver. He says, “Take him to Andre’s store.”
I shake his hand and say, “Thank you, sir, so much, thank you!”
Apparently, everybody knows Andre. We drive for about five minutes and he pulls in front of a dingy little store front, with no sign at all. He points and says, “You are a lucky man, Andre doesn’t jump for anybody.” I smile and give him a tip. The door opens and I step inside. It is bright and everything is shining in here. The inside is completely different from the dark outside storefront. I have never been more certain of anything in my life. I can’t imagine a day without her. I have this pulling on my soul that is telling me that I need to make this woman my wife. I need her more than I need anything else in this world.
Andre comes over to me and I can tell he isn’t happy to be here this early. I shake his hand and thank him for coming. I figure I should make him aware that I will spend a good amount of money and make it worth his while for getting here so quickly. I say, “I am interested in the two-carat rings.”
That did it, his eyes light up, and miraculously a smile forms on his face. He goes into the back and comes back with a case that has eight rings in it. I ask him which one is the highest quality and in her size. He takes out the two that I have my eye on and says, “You’ll never find a better ring at this price.”
I say, “And what is this price?”
He picks one up, examines it, and says, “$120,000 American dollars.” I choke just a little. He says, “And this one is $95,000 American dollars.”
I look at him and say, “I would like the first one.”
He says, “Excellent choice. How will you pay for this?” I take out my card and he slides it through the card machine. Comes back denied! I about shit my pants.
I say, “Impossible. Let me call them.” He looks at me as if he is ready to whoop my ass. I get on the phone and the lady on the line says that a red flag went up because of the expensive item and in Germany. She just needed my approval. I nodded for Andre to run it again. He did and it went through. There’s the smile again.
My mind is going a thousand miles a minute and I can’t get to the hotel fast enough. The driver must sense how nervous I am because he hasn’t spoken one word the whole drive home. We pull up to the hotel and I grab the box and hop out. I am lost in my own world walking to the elevator when Stefan hops out of his office and says, “Mr. Staff, can I see?” He startles me.
I smile and say, “Of course!”
I open it up and he steps back and says, “Holy shit! That is beautiful. It will be more beautiful on Ms. Dylan’s hand. When are you going to ask her?”
I smile and say, “As soon as I get upstairs. I wrote her a song too.”
Stefan says, “Very good, you pulled out all the tricks.” We both laugh. He shakes my hand and says, “Good luck my friend.”
When the elevator door closes, I can hear my heart beating so loud. It’s the longest elevator ride ever. Once I reach our floor, I practically run to the room, fling open the door, and there she is. Lyrics is sitting on the sofa writing. She looks like a fucking angel! She says, “Hey, babe, where’d you go?” I’m like an idiot standing there with no words coming out. She says, “Hello? Earth to Tanner.”
I take her hand and stand her up. I tell her, “I wrote you a song. Can I sing it to you?”
She says, “Of course.” She tosses her note pad on the couch and says, “Okay, I’m ready.” I don’t think I have ever been more nervous in my life. I take a deep breath and then begin singing.
♫ Skipping rocks on the lake behind Ol’ Mr. Jones’ house
Should’ve known then what you would mean to me but hell we were only thirteen.
Watching as you wrote so many songs, writing, erasing, and writing some more
Never thought I’d be singing for you, hell, so much I never thought we’d do
Chorus – We ain’t thirteen anymore, baby. We ain’t kids without a care in the world. We are so in love, know everything about each other.
I gave you your first kiss, nothing I’d ever want to miss.
Just one thing missing in our life, baby, would you be my wife?
Seventeen years we’ve been side by side
You’re the only one sitting shotgun on this ride.
Together we’ve tackled life’s greatest curves
Before going on stage, you’re the calm to my nerves.
I’m madly in love with your smile, laughter, and kiss
Being on the road, it’s just you that I miss.
Chorus - We ain’t thirteen anymore, baby. We ain’t kids without a care in the world. We are so in love, know everything about each other.
I gave you your first kiss, nothing I’d ever want to miss.
Just one thing missing in our life, baby, would you be my wife? ♫
I take her hand, kneel down on one knee, and ask her, “Dylan Brooks, please make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife!”
She has a steady stream of tears running down her face. She asks me, “Are you sure?”
I can’t help but laugh. “Of course, I’m sure, silly. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”
She says with a big Texas-sized smile, “Yes! Of course, yes!” My heart practically slithers out of my skin. I slip the ring on her finger and realize that Stefan was absolutely right, it is way more beautiful on her hand. She can’t stop telling me how much she loves the ring. I stand up and kiss her. This is the first time we kiss as fiancés and it’s fucking awesome!
Chapter 29
‘Never thought I’d be singing for you, hell, so much I never thought we’d do’
Lyrics –
I can’t stop staring at this rock on my finger. Even with his mouth on my neck, I’m in shock. I am actually going to be Mrs. Tanner Staff. Can’t believe Mom is actually going to be my legal mom, well mother-in-law, but still, it’ll be legal! If this were anybody else, I would get my brain examined for accepting, but it’s not, it’s my Tanner.
When we were fifteen years old, Tanner was already tall and good-looking. I swear he never went through that awkward teenager stage. I most definitely went through the awkward stage. I was very tall for a female, raised by my dad on a farm. so fashion and make-up didn’t play a very big role in my life. It wasn’t that classmates teased me; it was more that I was invisible. The only time the girls in our school really noticed me was when they thought I was Tanner’s gatekeeper. They would walk up to me, twirling their perfectly curled hair, and pitch themselves to me as if we were in some sort of selling contest. As soon as I would tell them that he made his own decisions, they would roll their eyes and walk away. One time in the lunchroom, this girl named Sabrina Noles, not only rolled her eyes but added as she was walking away, “Don’t know why he hangs out with her plain ass.” Tanner overheard this and rushed past me straight to her. He smiled at her and she got all giddy. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear. Her facial expression turned from happy to pissed off in .05 seconds. When Tanner walked back to me, he had a big smile on his face and grabbed my hand, pulling me outside.
He asked me, “You okay?”
I lied and said, “Of course. I wouldn’t let that bitch get to me.”
He kissed me on the cheek and said, “Good. How they don’t see what I see in you is beyond me. Oh well, their loss!” My feelings were hurt but he changed that immediately. He always made me feel special, just the way I was. When I asked him what he said
to her, he laughed and told me, “I told her that I hang out with you because you are the coolest, most beautiful girl in this place, but mainly because you are nothing like her.”
We have so many memories together. With Tanner, I feel safe, like home. There is nobody else in the world that could have actually gotten me to sing a song I wrote. I write them for him to sing, not me. I was satisfied with just being his best friend and suffocating my deeper feelings towards him. Now, holy fucking hell, I am going to be his wife!
So many thoughts are spinning in my mind but feeling his hand thread through my hair, those soft lips grazing over my skin…how could I ever think of anything else? I glance at my hand with that magnificent ring on it and cannot help but smile. Tanner notices my smile and says, “Glad you like it, baby.”
I yell, “Like it? I fucking love it! I love you! I love the idea of being your wife! I love the idea that we are going to have kids together! I love Germany!”
He giggles and says, “Well I love the fact that you said yes!” He looks at me and says, “I’d really love to make love to my fiancé right now.” My heart practically explodes.
As his arm loops around my waist, he pulls me on top of him as he falls backwards onto the bed. Looking down into his beautiful brown eyes, my lips magnetically draw to his. His soft lips and the way he controls my mouth sends shocks that start at my mouth and pretty much settle in my pussy. He flips me over and nips at my nipple as he lifts my shirt up over my head. Every move he is making sends me into a frenzy. As I reach down, it is more than obvious that he is on the same frenzy train that I am. He says, “I don’t want you to leave. I don’t know how I will make four months of this shit.”
I stop him and softly say, “Babe, let’s just enjoy this last day here together. I have to leave early tomorrow, let’s not waste any time, okay?” He flips me over and nods his head. The force he grabs me with as he is kissing me, leaves no question that he is scared to be without me. We shimmy out of our clothes and the feel of him inside of me brings a certain comfort that I have never felt before. We belong to each other, without a doubt. Our breathing synchronizes with every motion. This man will be my husband, my one, my forever…as I always imagined, but even better. Quietly, we finish at the same time and neither of us makes a move. It is perfect. Our bodies are molded together and right now, there is nothing wrong in my world!
Chasing Lyrics (Music & Lyrics #1) Page 12