Steel Hearts

by Ashlea Thompson

  We leave after I put the flowers in a vase. When we reach the parking lot, I look for his sports car. Instead of driving the little sports car, he is driving a 1967 Ford Mustang. It is gorgeous. I am in awe. It was always one of my favorite cars. “You like it?” he asked me. “I love it. It’s a beautiful car,” I tell him while he opens the door. “Well, a beautiful car for a gorgeous woman,” he replies. Damn he got me there. I blush and slide into the passenger seat. I imagine he has a car collection. It wouldn't surprise me to see him in a different car next time. If there is a next time. David Bowie is playing through the stereo, and he automatically gains brownie points.

  We went to the movies, and we held hands. After the movie was over, we went for a walk. We discussed the movie and various other topics. We decided on a little Italian restaurant for dinner. The conversation was lite and easy to navigate. I was still so nervous but became more comfortable with the more time I spent with him.

  After our dinner was done, we walked back to the car. It was a lovely night. Clear skies and more stars than I could count. We made it back to my place close to eleven. “Thank you for a lovely evening,” I say as I unlock the door, “Would you like to come in for a few?” My stomach does a backflip when he says yes. I don’t want this night to end, I have made a promise to myself to take this slow. I don’t want to move fast. I haven’t been dating anyone for a while. I am not used to it. I don’t have any wine in the apartment or anything to drink other than tea and water. He agrees to a glass of sweet tea, and we sit on the couch. We continued our conversation from dinner. I am learning so much in one small period. He is easy to talk to. I am careful not to share too much since this is only our first real date. The lunch date the other day doesn't count.

  After a few minutes of silence, he leans over and kisses me. Not a big kiss, but big enough to make my heart skip a beat. I close my eyes. When I open them, he is smiling at me. He bites his lip and leans back in. His kiss is intense. My brain is screaming NO NO NO. The rest of my body is screaming YES YES YES. I’m not even sure what I am doing. I tell myself not to freak out, just go with the flow. Kissing turns into making out. He seems really into me, that maybe this is not just a one-night stand, I push away the panic. “I want you. Right now;” he says breathlessly I nod my head and he takes my hand, leading me into the bedroom.

  Pushing me down on the bed, he is kissing my neck. He raises and removes his shirt. Holy shit at his six-pack. I reach up and run my hands down his chest. “Let’s get you out of this dress,” he says as he kisses me once more. He helps me stand and unzips my dress as he kisses my neck. I let the dress fall to my feet. Thank God I have on a girly bra and underwear (I silently thank God for Amanda). I turn around and face him. I feel exposed and shy. He sucks in a breath, “Gorgeous. Just. Damn.” I start to blush, he smiles and takes my hand, and pushes me back down on the bed. He goes back to my neck, then works his way down my breasts. I try to keep from giggling and squirming. The more I can't hold it in, the more he does it. I feel his mouth on my skin, and the smile on his lips. I keep waiting to wake up from this dream. This can’t be real. Knowing my luck, it’s not.

  When he is done ravishing me, he moves back toward my lips, and he is kissing me. “May I?” he asks, whispering in my ear. “Yes. Please,” I reply. He enters me, slowly and tenderly. He picks up speed. After a while, we both reached our climax together and collapsed on the bed. I rest my head on his chest. He kisses me on the forehead. “Wow,” he says. We both chuckle. We start talking about anything and everything. Pretty soon we both fell asleep tangled together under the blanket.

  It’s 8 o’clock by the time I wake up the next morning. I work tonight at Walter’s, and since it’s Sunday I know it's going to be super busy. Jake isn’t in my bed, so I convince myself it was a dream. All of a sudden, I smell bacon being cooked. I walk barefooted to the kitchen pulling my robe on. Jake is in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. I raise my eyebrows. Am I still asleep? I pinch myself and realize this is not a dream. Jake turns around and puts the bacon on the plate. He smiles at me, “Good morning, Birdie!’ he exclaims, “I hope you are hungry. I have to toast the bagels, other than that, breakfast is ready.” I smile and sit at the table. “Do you do this for all your girlfriends?’ I ask as he sets my plate and coffee down in front of me. He laughs and says, “Only for one in particular.”

  We both eat and talk and laugh together. This feels so nice. When finished, we clean the kitchen together. It kind of feels like we have been doing this our whole lives. It’s weird. When the last dish is washed and put away, Jake gets dressed. We kiss and say our goodbyes. I fix myself another cup of coffee and lounge on the couch. I remember my phone and when I pick it up, I have several texts and missed calls from Amanda.

  A: How is the date going?

  A: Did you make it home?

  A: HEY!

  A: HELLO. ARE YOU ALIVE?

  A: OMG Answer your phone.

  A: I’m about to put out a search party.

  I snort and dial her number. “I was close to barging through your door,” she says. “Don’t be so dramatic Amanda, I’m fine,” I say with a sigh. She wants all the juicy details and bombards me with all sorts of questions. I tell her everything she wants to know. By the time I am done, I need to get ready for work. I am working the early shift, so I end the call as quickly as I can. I get ready and pull in to work with 2 minutes to spare. As predicted, the night is super busy, and I am worn out by the time I get home. I take my shoes off before I open the door. My feet are swollen and are hurting. I open the door, and I am greeted by a room full of sunflowers. “Am I dead?” I ask myself as I step out into the hallway, looking down both ends of the hallway. There is a note on the coffee table:

  A GORGEOUS WOMAN SHOULD BE SURROUNDED BY BEAUTIFUL THINGS - Jake

  My heart does that skipping thing it's been doing since I met Jake. I snap a picture and send it to Amanda. She sends back heart emojis. I change and get ready for bed. I lay there for a bit, unable to think because my mind will not shut off. Jake is all I seem to think about. My phone rings and it’s Jake. He says he can’t stop thinking about me, and we make plans to spend time together in the next few days. I finally fell asleep after an hour or so of hanging up with him. This is just too good to be true.

  3

  Over the next few months, Jake and I have been pretty much joined at the hip. He formally met Amanda and Nate and loves them as much as I do. He even offered to take Nate to the zoo, which in Nate’s eyes, earned him best buddy status. Nina and Jake get along fine, and he helps her with the stuff around the gallery that she calls ‘Man Tasks’. We take turns staying at each other’s place. His home is in a quiet neighborhood in Homewood, and his house is gorgeous. I must admit I spend more time there than my apartment.

  We are enjoying a quiet lunch at the deli a block from The Gallery. After a few minutes of silence, he looks at me and smiles. I'm mid-bite when he says, “I would like you to meet my parents. “I kind of gasp and end up almost choking. “I’m sorry, what?” I manage to say after I swallow my bite, “I want you to meet my parents. I want to meet your parents too. Maybe we can all have dinner together,” he says, trying not to laugh. He gauges my reaction. I think about my mom and dad. They would be fish out of water. I smile. “Sure,” I say,

  We figure out when and where, and I make the phone call to my parents. They are excited and happily agree. I have knots in my stomach, and I pray it all goes well. They aren’t exactly country bumpkins, but they are as country as they come. A week later, we all met at Fleming’s Steak House for dinner. It went smooth for the most part. Jake asked all about the farm and Jake’s parents are wonderful and welcoming. It’s not the disaster I thought it was going to be. My heart is happy. Jake reaches over and squeezes my hand. This is a breeze to him. I’ve been a nervous wreck. The next day I see my parents off as they travel back to Thomasville. I text Jake, and then I get ready to go to work. Nina is all ears. I tell her about dinner. Amanda stops by
and Nina fills her in while I help a customer.

  Two days later, we met for dinner before my shift at Walter’s. Jake is so giddy and happy. His mother told me that he has never felt this way about anyone. I’m not quite sure what she meant by that, so I kind of let it pass by without dwelling on it. He walks me to my car and gives me a big bear hug. “My you are in a chipper mood today,” I say as I struggle for him to put me down. “Oh, I am. And let me tell you why,” he says. He kisses each cheek and my forehead and gives valid points, I’m beautiful, I’m gorgeous, and I am fun. I snort. Then, as he reaches my lips, he says, “And I love you.”

  My heart does that skippy thing again (I need to get that checked) and I look at him. He is staring at me anxiously. “Really?’ I ask finally. “Yes, I do. I love you,” he says while he blushes. “I love you, too,” I say finally. He kisses me, then kisses my forehead. “Good. Now, go to work,” he says as he opens my door, and I slide into my car. I am on cloud nine. Things are going well, and I can’t wait to tell Amanda, I grab my phone and shoot her a quick text. The next day he asks me to move in with him. I ask him if I can give it some thought. This is all happening so fast.

  Amanda and I have taken Nate to the park. It’s a nice day. Spring is just now starting to arrive, and we all know about Alabama weather. So, we take advantage. I watch Nate running around and sliding down the slide. He is so happy and watching Amanda swell up with pride makes my heart swell. They are family to me. “So, I have some big news,” I say. Amanda takes a sip of her tea, and says, “Do tell.”

  I tell her about Jake and the big L and him wanting me to move in with him. She stays silent and nods at the right parts. For a moment she stays quiet. After a few minutes, she looks at me and says, “Is this what you want? This is all so fast and sudden. You guys haven’t been together long. Do you have a backup plan?” She is right. I am the kind of person that weighs out the options and cautiously decides. Amanda, forever the mother hen. “When you know, you know,” I say. I run to Nate and we play and swing and slide.

  I think a lot about what Amanda said when I told her that we were moving in with each other. I’m having fun. I feel like I have found the one person I want to spend the rest of my days with. We may not come from the same background. I know we are complete opposites. What is the saying? Do opposites attract? I like to think about what we lack in some areas we make up for in the others. Sure, the money is nice, but it’s not what makes me so attracted and in love with him. He is kind and courteous. He helps people where he can. I am so far out of my comfort zone. It feels good though, and I try not to dwell on what ifs.

  I have never lived with anyone other than my parents. I have always lived alone when I moved to Birmingham. I am anxious and excited. Of course, my conscience is screaming at me, but in the end, I think I have made a good choice. After a day or so, I tell Jake that I will move in with him. He arranges everything. The next week with the help of Amanda and Jake, I packed my apartment up. Jake tells me not to worry about anything because he will take care of everything. I quit my job at Walter’s. I keep my job at The Gallery. I love Nina too much to leave her high and dry.

  Jake’s home is so pretty. It is a brick home with two stories, four bedrooms, two baths, a three-car garage, and a pool. It is spacious and open downstairs. Never in my life have I ever seen something like this. The house I grew up in was an old farmhouse that my parents renovated. But this home puts that home to shame.

  When I am not working at The Gallery, I spend time by the pool, or in Jake’s study reading. Amanda brings Nate to swim. Sometimes they come over for dinner. Nina comes over for dinner and swims, too. I love seeing her happy. Jake and I go on getaways and shopping. We spend time at home curled up on the couch. It’s heaven.

  Since Jake is working late, I go have dinner with Amanda and her family. Nina comes, too. Nate adores her. It’s been a wonderful evening. I get a text from Jake:

  J: Where are you?

  L: At Amanda’s.

  J: Why?

  L: You were working late. I came over here for supper.

  J: You need to come home.

  I excuse myself from the table and step outside. I called Jake, “What is wrong?” “I don’t understand why you can’t be home when I get home. You are always off doing something,” he says, “You didn’t call or tell me or anything. When I’m home, so are you, got it?” I look at the phone. Who does he think he is talking to? “Well, let me finish here, and I will head home,” I say. “No. Home. Now.” he says and hangs up on me. I’m so shocked. What the hell has gotten into him. I let Amanda know what’s going on. I apologize and leave.

  Jake’s mood is a little lighter as the night wears down. I’m not even sure what’s going on. I don’t want to fight so I leave it alone. I apologize and tell him it won't happen again. He has been on and off his phone. I end up sitting on the couch watching a movie alone.

  4

  Things have been better since Jake’s outburst. Even though he hasn’t apologized, and I haven’t pushed the issue, he seems in a better mood lately. It is Jake's Birthday week, and we go to Gatlinburg for the entire week. I am stoked because I haven't been since I was a kid. The Samford’s own a cabin (shocker) near Mt Leconte. It’s a two-story log cabin, with a breathtaking view. When we arrive in the afternoon, we decide to stay in and enjoy the hot tub. We get up early the next morning, to drink coffee and watch the sunrise. Jake has to make some calls for work which makes me a little upset. Who works on vacation? I decided while he works, I will go shopping for his birthday gift.

  I’m cruising down the Parkway when I pass an Adult Store. On an impulse, I pull into the parking lot. I hype myself to go in. “Hi sugar, Can I help you find something?” the lady at the counter asks. At this point, all I can do is stare at the floor. I know for a fact my face is the color of a tomato. “Yes, I am looking for something to wear for my boyfriend’s birthday,” I say awkwardly. “Honey I have just the thing for those curves of yours,” the lady says. She leads me over to the clothes I decided to buy a black lace teddy. I want to start his Birthday week off right. I work out a plan on the drive back to the cabin.

  Jake is working out on the back porch. “Hey there Birdie, whatcha got in all those bags?” he asks, smiling ear to ear. “Oh, a little of this and that,” I say. I tell him I am going upstairs to go through all my bounty. I kiss him on the forehead and climb the stairs. I decided to take a soaking bath. I take the lingerie out of the bag, and I snort at the thought of what I am about to do. I'm nervous too, but I’m hoping to take his attention away from work for a while and a little afternoon delight before dinner.

  After the water grows cold, I get out of the tub. I blow-dry my hair. I decided not to wear make-up. I shimmy into the little black frock. I look in the mirror one last time. Damn, I’m looking pretty hot. I pad down the stairs, but I don’t see Jake on the porch, he must be in the sunroom. I see him as I walk down the hallway to the back of the cabin. He is standing and it looks like he is talking to himself. I shake my head and grin. Before my courage disappears, I walk around the corner, “Oh honey, how about a little dessert before dinner?” Jake looks up with a surprised look, and he is blushing big time. When I finally register what the look on his face is, I look and see his parents sitting on the couch.

  I am mortified and embarrassed. Jake rushes over and throws a blanket over me. “Mr. Samford. Mrs. Samford, I uh. Um…” as I nod to each of them. Mr. Samford stares at the floor, kind of chuckling to himself. The look on Mrs. Samford’s is appalling. “I’m just going to go back upstairs now, and you know, drown myself in the toilet,” I say and turn around and run back upstairs.

  After a good fifteen minutes, Jake stands in the doorway. “They are gone now,” he says. I look up at him still wrapped in the blanket with tears in my eyes. “I had no idea they were here. I’m so sorry,” I say. “It’s ok baby, they just came up to surprise me for my birthday. They are staying in town,” He says as he walks over to me, “Now, how about tha
t afternoon delight?”

  We have dinner at The Greenbriar, a charming restaurant nestled in a little holler. Jake and his dad discuss the normal things, but Mrs. Samford remains quiet. She looks everywhere but at me. I try to make some conversation, but I am failing miserably. I’m beginning to think she doesn’t like me. I keep quiet for the rest of the meal. Jake squeezes my hand. He knows my anxiety is high. We finish dinner, and Mrs. Samford wants photos taken. We go through the motions and then say our goodbyes. The following day, Jake and his parents go visit friends in the area, and I elect to stay at the cabin. I read most of the day and enjoy the sunshine out on the back deck. When Jake returns, he doesn’t seem to be happy. His mood changes. I can’t figure out what is wrong, but I don’t worry too much about it. We spend the rest of the week exploring. We do all sorts of stuff. He takes me over to Cherokee, we gamble, I win. We went to Bryson City. It’s such a charming little town. I almost do not want to go home.

  The drive home is a quiet one. Jake doesn’t say much. “Is everything ok?” I ask apprehensively. “Yeah Birdie, everything is fine,” he says. He takes my hand and holds it the rest of the way home. I am pretty sure something is wrong, but I don’t push it. I fell asleep for the rest of the trip. I’m exhausted.

  5

  I go visit Amanda and Nate. Nate is over the moon at the stuffed bear I brought him back. He is sitting in front of the tv and playing. I'm not much of a drinker, but Amanda insists on drinking some of the moonshine I brought her home. We talk about the trip, and I tell her about the misfortune of me trying to be sexy. We had a good laugh. Nate wants to go play outside, so we bask in the sun in her backyard.