Steel Hearts

by Ashlea Thompson

  While we wait for Duke to come out of the office, Evan and I chit-chat and catch up. When we were kids, Evan was in love with me. He was my shadow. He was tall and lanky. His ears were too big for his head. He sure did grow up though. “Well, if it ain’t trouble that has walked through my door. Better call the five-o,” Duke says, grabbing me in a bear hug. I guess he got over me stealing his pigs when I was a kid, I was trying my best to save them from the slaughter. The Rileys and the Haywoods have been good friends for years. They live on the farm next to us. I follow Duke into the office. “It won't be a problem for you to work here. You are welcome as long as you need to. I know your momma and daddy are happy to have you home,” he takes a swig of his whiskey. Mr. Riley will talk your ear off if you let him. I try to wrap up the conversion up so I can get back home.

  We say our goodbyes, and I stop back by the bar to say goodbye to Evan. He goes over the basics. I’m not worried about the waitressing part, that I have down pat. I’ve never been a bartender before, but I am a fast learner. “See you Thursday,” Evan says, “It was really good to see you.” I gave him a wave,” I’ll be here.” The Broken Wagon is closed on Sundays and Wednesdays. Duke says it's so everyone can go to church. Patrons tend to just go to other bars on those days. I don’t mind it though. At least it’s consistent. I never had that at Walter’s. Daddy is asleep in his chair when I get home. I cover him with a blanket. I guess he was going to wait for me, bless him. I kiss his cheek and head upstairs. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

  I don’t want to go to church, but Momma wants me to go. Tonight, is the fellowship dinner. Our church does this twice a month. There is no bible study. Momma works the room, chatting and dishing on gossip. I follow her around, shake hands, and hug the ones that hug me. I stay quiet. While Momma is talking to Mrs. Moore about next week, I spot Evan across the room. He sees me and flashes a smile in my direction. I return the smile and awkwardly give him a thumbs up. Mrs. Moore starts talking to me, but I’m barely listening. I can’t keep my eyes off Evan.

  I feel like I have been standing here forever while Momma makes her rounds. Finally, we fix our plates and sit down. I don’t waste any time digging in. I’m starving. I haven’t had my Momma’s chicken and dressing in years. She only makes it for the Fellowship Dinner. Just as I'm shoving the last of my dressing in my mouth, the Rileys come over and sit with us. I became very aware of Evan sitting across from me. We make small talk, and I can’t seem to stop smiling. Momma looks over at me and nods in approval. I haven’t been in this good of a mood in a while.

  Evan gets up and goes to get some dessert. He gets my attention and nods towards the door. I excuse myself and follow him outside. “Here, I got you some Mrs. Moore’s Pecan Pie. It's the best around,” He says handing me a plate, “I thought you needed to get some air.” I take the plate from his hand and my fingers brush his. I blush and take a bite of pie. It is the best pie I’ve ever had. Mrs. Moore might be crazy, but she can bake a pie like no one’s business. Evan smiles.

  We talk between bites. Evan is easy to talk to. I try to relax and enjoy the moment. “You know, I’m glad you’re back,” he says. “I’d never thought I would be back. But it's just temporary I hope.” I say as I hop up on the tailgate of his truck. We talk a lot about nothing. Daddy opens the door, “We are leaving. Your Momma is finishing up.” I nod. “Well, I guess I better help Momma,” I say. We both smile at each other and look away. “I was wondering,” Evan says, helping me down off the tailgate, “You want to have a beer after your shift tomorrow?” I give it a few minutes. “I’d like that. We can catch up more,” I say. He leans over and kisses my cheek (great, that heart skipping thing is back).

  I stayed quiet on the way home. Momma and Daddy are talking about the BBQ. I think about everything that has happened. Where I am now versus where I was a few weeks ago. I shoot a text to Amanda.

  L: I miss you. Tell Nate I love him.

  A: We miss you! We will talk soon!

  I miss Nina so much. I wish I could talk to her. I miss her wisdom and outlook on life. “Better get some sleep tonight. You have a big day tomorrow. I’m going to need help in the morning. Don’t worry though, you will have enough time to nap before you start work,” Daddy says as we get out of the car. I would much rather sleep in, but it will be nice to get back in the saddle again. I’m looking forward to spending time with Daddy.

  11

  We are done with all the work by the time lunch rolls around. Momma made some sandwiches and a homemade strawberry cake. At this rate, I’m going to balloon up. “Samantha called while you guys were out. She is coming home for the BBQ. She is bringing someone,” Momma says as she sits down at the table. I roll my eyes. I haven’t seen Samantha in years. We aren’t close and that is fine by me.

  It’s not that I don’t like her. She is my sister. We are just complete opposites. We fought a lot as kids, and I am pretty sure we are solely responsible for every gray hair on Daddy’s head. I concentrate on my sandwich while Momma and Daddy talk about Samantha and her apparent new beau. I finish eating and head upstairs to try and sleep some. It’s been a while since I worked at night, so I have to get into the groove. I’m not looking forward to seeing Samantha, but part of me wants to mend fences. I’ve learned that family is important. So, I’m going to try and make the most of it.

  I decided to dress kind of sexy tonight. I go with a black tank top and blue jeans. I found my old pair of boots in my closet, and to my surprise, they still fit. I check myself in the mirror. I look pretty hot. Hopefully, I will make a lot of tips tonight. I yell at Momma and Daddy that I am leaving and try to sneak out before Daddy sees me. Momma sees me though and winks at me. She approved, but my Daddy would have a duck fit.

  The bartending seems pretty simple. There aren’t any special requests or fancy drinks. Just beer and whiskey. It starts getting busy around 7. My feet are hurting, but I am handling it like a pro. Evan has been working alongside me. He does most of the heavy lifting, so I don’t have to. We make a pretty good team. After my shift, Evan brings a pitcher of beer and we sit in the back booth. I nurse my beer and try to relax. The conversation is light for the most part. He tells me about what he has been up to since we graduated high school. I tell him about my life too. I leave out the part about Jake. That’s a conversation for another time. He takes me for a spin around the dance floor, and man can he move. His arms are strong, and I love the way his arms feel around my waist.

  I make it home around midnight. I take my boots off when I get out of the car. My feet are throbbing. I promise myself to wear tennis shoes to work from now on. As I lay down, my phone goes off. It’s a text from Evan:

  E: You were wonderful tonight. You did such a good job.

  L: Thank you. It was a good night.

  E: Think I can take you out this weekend?

  L: Sure. See you tomorrow.

  “I have a date this weekend,” I announced to the table. “Oh, is it with Evan?” Momma asks, topping off my coffee. “It is. Duke is closing the bar this weekend, so we are going to hang out,” I reply. Daddy is halfway through his toast, “That Riley boy? He is the dumbest smartest person I know. Is he still going after you after all these years?” Momma lets out a laugh. “Leave her alone Sammy, let her have her fun,” Momma says, squeezing my hand.

  We finish breakfast and I set out to get a few errands done. I haven’t heard from any of the places I applied for. It’s ok. Sometimes these things take time. The first thing I do is buy some more clothes for work. I try to get some color into my wardrobe. I got some painting supplies and a notebook. I want to get back to painting again. I haven’t done it in so long. It’s time to get back to me. The next two days have been super busy at work and the farm. I help mom get a lot done for the BBQ. Evan tells me to be ready early Saturday morning. I can’t wait.

  Evan picks me up around seven in the morning. We head out to Trade Day. I haven’t been in years. We walk around, eating corn dogs, and drinking lem
onade. I bought some produce and a few plants for Momma. We head back to the farm. Daddy and some friends and a couple of the football players from the school are working on setting up the tables and chairs for the BBQ. Momma and Daddy have gone all out. There is even a bouncy house for the kids. “I can’t wait to give that thing a whirl,” I say. Even chuckles. "You want to go horseback riding?” He asked me. I agree and we walk hand in hand to the barn. We get the horses saddled up and head out into the pasture. He leads out into the back pasture where the pond is.

  When we reach the shade tree, there is a basket full of sandwiches and beer. “I figured we could have a little lunch out here. It’s pretty and all but not compared to you,” Evan says, helping me off my horse. He is just so sweet. “You are too cute, thank you for this,” I say. We sit and talk and eat and drink. Evan pulls me into his lap. It’s nice to be held like this. I haven’t felt butterflies like this since Jake, but I try to enjoy the moment. I’m not looking for a relationship. I don’t want one. It’s nice to spend time with Evan though. It brings back memories.

  We finished our lunch. I start to clean up when Evan takes my hand, “Leave it. I’ll come back out in a bit and grab it” Evan pulls me into him. I can feel the electricity pulsing through us. He lifts my chin and kisses me softly. I return the kiss, and it turns a little intense. There is urgency in his kiss, but I back away. “I’m not ready,” I say. He nods and kisses me again, “It’s ok, beautiful. You are worth waiting for.” He got me there. I melt. We head back toward the house. I have to help Momma get some stuff done.

  When we reach the barn, I see Samantha’s car in the driveway. I wish I had taken a Xanax this morning. It’s hard to deal with her without some kind of intervention. I remind myself that I want to try and mend the fences. I cringe when I hear her yell across the yard, “LOTTIE MAE HAYWOOD, YOU GET OVER HERE AND LET ME HUG YOUR NECK!” I turn to Evan. He is giggling. I roll my eyes and give him a quick kiss. “I’ll text you. Be safe,” I say. “Always. See you tomorrow.” When he drives off, I head toward the house. “Was that Evan Riley?” I nod, then hug her. “He grew into his ears,” she says. I laugh. So far so good.

  Momma is in the kitchen with Daddy. Momma is zipping around the kitchen and Daddy is supervising like always. I start pulling out the stuff to make the banana pudding. I want it to sit overnight so it will be good for tomorrow. Everyone is chatting about this and that. It feels good to be a family. “I have something to tell you guys,” Samantha says, we all turn to look at her. “I’m engaged!” She exclaims. Daddy’s eyes bug out of his face as he chokes on his sweet tea. Momma drops the spoon she is using to mix the coleslaw on the floor. I turn around and blankly stare at her. “Well, that’s wonderful but who is he? We didn’t know you were seeing anyone,” Momma asks.

  “Oh, he is nice. Handsome, too. And he has money. I’m marrying up y’all. You will get to meet him tomorrow. He is driving up in the morning," she says. Daddy leaves the kitchen when Momma and Samantha start talking about wedding stuff. God love him. “I want to have the wedding here at the farm, Momma,” Samantha says.

  “We can do that, when is the wedding?” Momma asks.

  “Three months from now.”

  “Wait. What?” I ask, “Why so fast? How long have you guys been together?”

  “Why does it matter? When you know, you know, right?”

  “I guess we should get to planning then,” Momma says as she finishes with the coleslaw.

  Samantha, always with the dramatics. “I want you to be my Maid of Honor,” Samantha walks up behind me and hugs me. My eye twitches. I agree and tell her not to put me in a God-awful dress. I finish with the pudding and take it out to the big fridge in the garage. I think about Evan.

  E: What’s the most gorgeous girl doing right now?

  L: Just cleaning up. Was thinking about you.

  E: Think I can steal you away?

  L: I’ll meet you out at the barn.

  12

  Evan is waiting at the barn door. I guess he walked over here, so he wouldn't wake my parents up. I feel like a teenager again. “Don’t wake my parents up. You’ll get me grounded,” I said nodding towards the house. Evan laughs and pulls me through the door. He holds me in an embrace and starts to slow dance. “There is no music,” I say. Evan smiles, “We don’t need any, just the beating of our hearts.” Damn, he is good.

  He pulls away and looks at me, “You are so beautiful Lottie.” Heat is rising in my face. He cups my face with his hands and kisses me slowly and hard. I give in. I can’t help myself. He takes a blanket from the tack room, and we head up to the loft. We are kissing and shedding our clothes at a quick pace. Evan can’t keep his hands off me. He kisses every inch of my body. We make love. Afterward, we are tangled up in each other. Evan wraps the blanket snugly around me. We talked for a while. I tell him about Jake. “I would never hurt you,” Evan says. “Can we just take things slow? See where it leads?” I ask, my hands shake. “I’m willing if you are,” he says. We fall asleep holding each other.

  I wake with a start. I don’t know what time it is, but the sun is up. “Evan, wake up!” I say nudging him awake. “Shit. We slept here all night,” He laughs. We quickly get dressed and sneak out of the barn. No one is around. Evan kisses me quickly and heads back to his house. I plan on getting upstairs using the stairs in the kitchen. As soon as I walk in the door, Momma, Daddy, and Samantha are sitting at the table. They are staring at me. “Good morning everyone,” I say. “Girl, where have you been?” Daddy says sipping his coffee. Momma has a grin on her face, and Samantha points at the hay in my hair. I quickly pick the pieces out of my hair before Daddy notices. “Um… out,” I say awkwardly. “Looks like she had a roll in the hay,” Samantha says with a chuckle. I blush. I could kick her.

  I head upstairs to shower and change. I check my phone:

  E: Did you get grounded?

  L: LOL No.

  E: See you for the BBQ. Miss you.

  L: Miss you.

  The tables are set up and people are starting to show up. I help Momma finish putting out the food. Everyone is having a good time. There is cornhole and horseshoes. The kids are loving the bouncy house. Momma was right when she said the whole town was coming. Samantha is working the crowd. She is eating up all the attention. I shake my head and turn back to my plate.

  Evan and I are playing cornhole against Momma and Daddy when a Lincoln Navigator pulls in the drive. Samantha heads over to the vehicle. She disappears on the other side. “That must be Samantha’s boyfriend,” I say, nudging Evan. We all are watching the vehicle. After a few minutes, Samantha comes back around with a man. He is wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a baseball cap. I can’t see what he looks like from here. Momma and Daddy start walking towards Samantha, I take Evan’s hand and we follow them.

  The closer we get, the better I can see his features. I feel the color drain from my face. I have a pit in my stomach. I cannot believe what I am seeing. I start to feel a little nauseous and lean on Evan. “Baby, you ok?” he asks. “Yeah. A little hot,” I lied. We finally meet in the middle. “Momma, Daddy, Lottie, I want you to meet Jake Samford,” Samantha says, “And this is Evan Riley, Lottie’s love interest.” Now I want to punch her. Jake and I stare at each other with shock on our faces. Momma and Daddy both shoot me a glance. They are shocked too. Jake shakes hands with Daddy and hugs Momma. Jake goes in for a hug, and I stiffen. It’s so awkward. I kind of hugged him back. “It’s nice to meet all of you,” he says.

  Did he know? He can’t. He was just as surprised as I was. Samantha has a habit of not telling anyone about her family or where she is from. I’m not sure why she does that. There had to be a point in the relationship where he was wondering where she was from and where she grew up. Did he not put two and two together? I feel like I’m going to throw up. “I need some water,” I say. I squeeze Evan’s hand to tell him I’m ok. I rushed back to the house.

  I gulp down a glass of water and splash my face. I stand bracing mys
elf at the sink. I have a million thoughts and questions going through my head. I hear the door open, and Jake walks in. “What the fuck are you doing here, is this a joke?” I ask. “No. It’s not,” he says.

  “You didn’t know where you were going? Like the town, the name didn’t ring a bell?”

  “I didn’t think anything of it honestly. Samantha doesn’t talk much about where she is from. All I knew was that she told me she was from North Alabama. That’s it, and I didn’t ask.”

  “Oh, so everything I ever told you, you just forgot it? And you told me you never wanted to settle down?”

  “Lottie, please.”

  “Go to hell,” I say and go back outside. I stay as close to Evan as I possibly can. He knows something is wrong but doesn't ask. He just tries to soothe me. “Are you sure you're ok?” he asks. “Yeah, I’ll tell you later, “I say. For now, I decide to not say anything to Samantha. I know Jake won’t say anything either.

  13

  By the time the sun starts to set, most of the food is gone and most of the crowd has left. “Come on baby, let’s walk,” Evan says and takes my hand. Momma nods with approval. We start walking towards the barn. “You seemed a little tense back there,” Evan says. We walked behind the barn. I lean up against the wall, suddenly so tired. “I was,” I say. I take a deep breath, “That is Jake Samford. My ex-boyfriend.”