Steel Hearts

by Ashlea Thompson

  “They guy you told me about?”

  “The one and only.”

  “He and Samantha are getting married?”

  “So.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that anymore, ok? I’m going to take care of you.”

  “You are so precious, Evan Riley,” I said, touching his cheek. He kisses my palm, then kisses me.

  We walk back towards the house, and Evan helps Daddy with the tables. I go to the kitchen and help Momma clean up. It has been a great day overall. Evan is such an amazing person. I honestly have some feelings for him. But judging by the past, even though I know I shouldn’t, I still want to take things slow with him. I don’t want to jump in when there is a possibility that we aren’t on the same page. I know that Evan might have some feelings, but I am not sure. I don’t want to ask him either. I will let the chips fall where they may.

  Samantha is out on the front porch with Momma. Jake has gone with Daddy to take the tables back to the church. I want to see what kind of information I can get out of Samantha about her relationship with Jake. Momma has told me before about what’s been going on with Samantha and her life. I have never really talked to her. We just aren’t close. I bring some sweet tea out for us and sit next to Momma on the porch swing.

  “So, tell us about your beau, Samantha,” Momma says. I sit back eager to hear what she has to say about Jake. “He is amazing. He works with his family's company. He is a partner. He is so sweet and caring. We have a lot of fun together. We met at a function for his mother’s charity,” she says. Momma and I look at each other. “That’s nice dear. How long have you guys been together?” Momma asks. Samantha grins, “Six months.” I choke on my tea. Momma pats me on the back. “That’s not very long, Samantha, you barely know him,” she says.

  “Why so quick?” I ask. Samantha sits back and thinks for a moment. “Well, I know enough to know that he loves me. I mean, he wouldn’t have asked me if he didn’t,” she says. I roll my eyes. My sister. So naïve. I know Jake and it makes me wonder. I know that one person may not be right for you, and they may be right for someone else. I can’t wrap my head around it. It shouldn’t matter, but for some reason, it’s all I can think about. Samantha is droning on and on about Jake and the wedding. She wants to find a house here in Thomasville so that she can come to stay here sometimes. A summer home if you will. I shake my head.

  My mind wanders to Evan. Reconnecting to him has been amazing. Handsome, kind, courteous, caring. That’s Evan. He understands me and why I am hesitant. He is patient with me. I hate knowing that I may be leaving, and there is a possibility that our relationship may end. It is what it is.

  14

  The week has been busy. I still haven’t heard from any of the galleries I applied to. I plan on going over to Evan’s to use his internet. I’m slow to get out of bed and get ready. I’m excited to see Evan, but I dread going downstairs. I finally talked myself into getting out of bed. When I reach the kitchen, I peer around the door, checking to see if Jake is in the kitchen. So far, so far so good. I grab a muffin and head out the door.

  As soon as I rounded the corner and headed to my car, I saw Jake on the phone out by his car. I look over at the chicken coop and then back to Jake. I get an idea, and I chuckle to myself. I sneak over to the coop, making sure Jake doesn’t see me. I’m almost beside myself at what I’m about to do. “Ok Mr. Curly, we’re about to have a little fun,” I say. I pick him up and carry him over to the house. I hid around the corner. When I set the rooster down, he took off after Jake. I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts. Mr. Curly is chasing him around the car. Jake runs towards the house and runs inside, looking out the door. I walk by and wave, still laughing.

  I’m still smiling when I reach Evan’s house. Evan is standing on the porch with his father. “What are you smiling for?” Duke asks, hugging me. I tell them both what I did. “You still got that mean streak, don’t you?” he says. Evan chuckles and pulls me into a hug. Duke heads off to the bar, and Evan and I head into the house. Evan has a few things to tend to, so he leaves me alone to get my stuff done. After a while, he brings me a cup of coffee. “Still no luck?” he asks, kissing my forehead. “Not at all. I applied to more places. I hope I hear something soon,” I replied. Evan and I spend the rest of the afternoon together before work. We do a whole lot of nothing.

  The bar is slow for now, but I know it will get busy around eight o’clock. I take advantage and do some stocking, so I won’t have to do it when people start pouring in. Suddenly I hear the doors fly open. It’s Samantha, and she looks madder than a wet hen. She marches up to the bar, “What’s this I hear about Mr. Curly chasing Jake all around the farm?” I snort. “I have no idea what you are talking about,” I say with a shrug. “Then I guess it wasn’t you that greased Jake’s door handles either, was it?” She asks. I know she is mad because her eye is twitching. I can’t help but giggle. “Lottie Mae Haywood, you stop your shit right now,” she yells. “Oh Samantha, it was all in good fun. I was just welcoming him to the family,” I say innocently. She rolls her eyes and storms out of the bar. Evan looks at me with raised eyebrows. I shrug and get back to work.

  The bar has gotten slower than usual, so Evan tells me I can head home. I kiss him goodbye and wave to Duke. When I reach the house, I shoot Evan a text letting him know I made it home safely. Jake is sitting in the kitchen working on stuff for work. I don’t say anything to him. “You are such an asshole,” he says as I walk past him. “Takes one to know one,” I say, sticking my tongue out at him. Jake rolls his eyes, “Why do you hate me so much?”

  “Why are you a jerk? You are stringing my poor sister along.”

  “What? No, I’m not.”

  “You are. If I remember correctly, you never wanted to settle down. No family. You wanted to have your cake and eat it, too. Tell me something, are you still seeing Sarah?"

  “Things change, Lottie. They do.”

  “What a bunch of bullshit”

  “It’s not bullshit. I do love your sister.”

  “Whatever.”

  I march upstairs and slam the door. Jake makes me so mad I could spit nails. I’m sure Samantha did something to make him want to settle down. I’m a little jealous. Why does he want her, and he doesn't want me? Is it because he and I were from different worlds? The joke is on him though because Samantha is from the same world I am. I’m just not the bubbly blonde my sister is.

  I’m tired and grumpy by the time morning arrives. I didn’t sleep well. When I come down to the kitchen, Daddy is sitting at the table eating breakfast and reading the paper. “I heard you were up to a little mischief yesterday,” he says, sipping his coffee. I smirk, “I was, I had a good laugh.” He laughs, “That’s my girl,” he says. I love my Daddy. We sit and talk over breakfast. Momma and Samantha have gone to Huntsville to shop for wedding things, and Jake has gone back to Birmingham for the rest of the week. Thank God.

  I decided since I don’t have to work today, I’m going to do some painting, and maybe some reading. I'm hoping to take it easy today. My anxiety has been on edge since the BBQ. It’s a major cluster in my book. My phone chimes. I’m hoping it’s Evan, but frown when it's not.

  J: Whatcha doing?

  L: Why does it matter to you?

  J: I was just wondering.

  L: I’m sure.

  J: I’m just trying to be friendly here.

  L: You and I are not friends.

  J: Lottie.

  L: Does Samantha know you are texting me?

  That ended the conversation. Jake doesn't text back. I settle down and get to work. Painting is so soothing to me. Nina comes to my mind. I wonder what she would say about this situation. I miss her sage advice. I give Derrick a call and check on him and his family. They are doing well which makes my heart happy. They sort of have become family.

  “Hey beautiful,” Evan says walking up behind me. It makes me jump. “I’m going to put a bell on you,” I say giggling. I kissed him. “That woul
d defeat the element of surprise, wouldn’t it,” he says. I smile from ear to ear. We sit and talk while I work. “You want to have dinner with me tonight?” he asks. “Of course, I would,” I say. When I get to a stopping point, I clean up. “I will be back at six,” Evan says, kissing me. I take a long soaking bath and get ready for tonight. I want to look good. It’s hot so I chose a little sundress and sandals.

  Six o’clock rolled around so I headed downstairs. Evan is already here. He looks so hot. He has blue jeans with boots on and a checkered button-up shirt on. He is on the couch talking to my parents. “Honey, you look wonderful,” Momma says. I smile. Evan picks up the bouquet he brought me, “These are for you.” Momma nods in approval. “Thank you, they are lovely,” I say. I kiss his cheek, and Momma takes them to put them into a vase. “Treat my girl right son,” Daddy says. He shakes Evan’s hand. “Always,” Evan replies and takes my hand. This is our real first date with each other. I’m excited and nervous even though I’ve been spending time with him. We drove up to Ft. Payne for dinner. We laughed and talked and ate good food. It was wonderful. I haven’t smiled this much in a while. It makes my heart happy.

  The sun is setting and it’s showing out. It’s gorgeous. We walk hand in hand through the park. We steal kisses from each other. “Hey, the fair is in town, do you want to go?” Evan asks. “Sounds fun,” I replied. We finish out the night riding rides and eating funnel cakes. Evan wins me a stuffed cow. I giggle when he hands it to me. It’s been a wonderful evening. I needed this. Evan is so simple. He doesn’t try to impress me. It’s comfortable being around him and I feel like I can tell him anything.

  It’s about eleven o’clock when we get back to the farm. I’ve had so much fun I don’t want the night to end. We stand by the truck for a good while, kissing and holding each other. We finally unhinge from each other. We are both out of breath and smiling at each other. “Can I talk to you about something?’ Evan asks. My heart skips a beat and the butterflies are back. “Sure,” I say, biting my lip. He pushes my hair behind my ear and caresses my cheek. I know I’m blushing and I’m the color of a tomato. “You are so beautiful. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you since you have been back,” He says and takes my hand, “You are such an amazing woman.”

  “I think you need your eyes checked.”

  “No baby. I don’t.”

  “I’ve had fun with you. It’s been great. I haven’t been this happy in a while.”

  “I have feelings for you, Lottie.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” I replied. Evan stares at his boots. “I have feelings for you, too,” I say after a few moments. He looks up at me and smiles that smile I love so much. I see Momma and Samantha peering through the window. I motion for them to go away. Evan doesn’t notice. “You want to go steady?” He asked me. I snort, “What are we, in high school?” He giggles and says, “You know what I mean.” “I’m your girl,” I say, kissing him. “Good night Lottie Mae, I’ll call you tomorrow,” he says after he hugs me. We kissed goodnight.

  Samantha and Momma are sitting in the living room making themselves busy as if they weren’t spying on me. “Well, how did it go?” Momma asks. “Yeah, how did it go?” Samantha asks with a suggestive look. I laugh and tell them about the date. “He has feelings for me, I feel the same way,” I say. Samantha whistles and Momma smiles with approval. “Y’all stop,” I say smiling. “It’s good to see you happy Lottie. It’s been a long time coming,” Momma says. Samantha follows me upstairs.

  “Evan Riley, who would have thought out of all the people,” Samantha says, laying down on the bed. “It’s not like it’s a shock. We played together as kids,” I said. “So, tell me, what have you been up to since the last time we saw each other?” Samantha asks. I tell her about the gallery, Nina and Amanda. I tell her I was with someone, but I leave Jake’s name out of it. We talked for a good while. Samantha tells me her plans for the wedding. It makes me want to gag, but I listen and fake smile in all the right places. She wants to go dress shopping tomorrow. I dread it.

  We set out after breakfast to go to Huntsville to find Samantha’s wedding dress. I get she is excited, but it is getting on my nerves. We make a huge loop from Huntsville, to Albertville, to Ft. Payne. Finally, after about eight stores, she finds the perfect one. It is a gorgeous white mermaid-style gown with crystals all over it. She looks stunning. Momma cried. I feel my phone vibrate. It’s a text from Evan.

  E: Thinking of you. See you at work tonight.

  The night is super busy with it being the weekend. My feet are throbbing so bad. I tell Evan about the dress and what Samantha plans on having the bridesmaid’s dresses look like. He smirks at me but tells me I could be in a potato sack, and I would still be beautiful to him. I steal a quick kiss before the next customer comes to the bar. Duke scowls at us and shakes a finger. I duck around Evan and get back to work.

  15

  Daddy is still up when I get home from work. “What are you doing up so late Daddy?” I ask him and kiss his forehead. “I couldn’t sleep. So, I came downstairs to do a little reading,” he says. He pats the seat next to him on the couch for me to sit next to him. “I hear you had a good date with that Evan boy,” he says. I snort, “I did. We had a lot of fun,” I say. “That’s good. I know you haven’t been in the best of moods lately,” He replies. I lean my head on his shoulder, “I haven’t with everything that has happened.” Daddy stays silent for a moment and asks, “How do you feel about Samantha and Jake?”

  “I think it’s doomed for failure.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Well based on what I have been told before, I don’t think Jake is ready to settle down.”

  “Maybe he is. Things can change sugar.”

  “I know they do. It’s frustrating though.”

  I let out a big sigh. “You have a good man in Evan. He adores you and me and your Momma likes him just fine. I’d rather see you happy than stressed out over someone that doesn’t want a future,” he says. “Then why is he settling down now?” I ask. Daddy shrugs his shoulders, “Sometimes, one person isn’t right for you, but right for someone else. Don’t go worrying about all that. Just be happy,” he says. Daddy and I think a lot alike. “Do you like Jake?” I ask him.

  “I like him ok. He seems like he is right up Samantha’s alley. He ain’t no country boy, I can tell you that,” He says after a few minutes. I laugh and hug him. “We should head to bed,” I say and head up the stairs. “I love you, Daddy,” I say. “I love you too, sugar,” he says and hugs me. I think about what Daddy said. I know he is right. I do have a good man in Evan, and I don’t need to focus on Jake and his reasons.

  I slept in. Sleep was restless. I tossed and turned. I call Evan and tell him I won’t be in tonight for work. It was weird to call in. I never have before, but Evan knows I’ve been exhausted. He tells me that it is ok, and to get some rest and that he will stop by to check on me. I smile. I fully intend to be as lazy as possible today. It is nearly noon when I make it downstairs. When I make it to the living room, I find Jake staring at my painting. “You did this?” he asks. I roll my eyes, and sit on the couch, pulling a big blanket over me (Momma keeps it frigid in the house). “I did. I painted it the other day,” I replied. He turns around and looks at me, “It’s really good. How come you never painted when we lived together?” I look at him blankly, “When did I ever have the time? Between work, you, and Nina I never had much time to myself.” I don’t feel like talking to Jake. I have too many questions and honestly, I don’t have to have that conversation. I ignore him hoping he will go away.

  Just when I am about to tell him to kick rocks, Samantha and Momma come through the door. They have bags and bags of stuff. “What’s all that?” I ask. “Wedding stuff. We’ve been shopping all day. We got a lot of stuff here. We are going to make the centerpieces and Daddy is going to build an archway. We got some flowers and garland to decorate that. Want to hel
p?” Samantha says. I respectfully decline and head back upstairs. I read some and listen to music. I watch some shows on my phone. I end up falling asleep. My phone vibrates and wakes me up.

  E: How are you feeling baby?

  L: I was napping, but I’m feeling better.

  E: I’ll be there in a little while when it dies down. I got you something.

  L: You really shouldn’t have. See you soon.

  I meet Evan outside on the front porch. It’s a beautiful night. You can see all the stars it seems like. Evan kisses me and sits next to me on the swing. We sit in silence and just enjoy each other’s company. After a few minutes, he goes and gets something from his truck. It's a tiny box. He is grinning ear to ear when he comes back to the porch. “It’s not much but I thought of you when I saw it,” he says, handing me the box. It’s a necklace with a pendant in the shape of a painter's pallet. “It’s beautiful. I love it. You really shouldn't have,” I say as I kiss his cheek. Evan helps me put it on. It’s so thoughtful. Momma comes to the door to tell me dinner is ready. She offers a plate to Evan, and he accepts. We all enjoyed a meal together. This feels right. “I need to get back to the bar,” he says. I walk him out and we kiss and hold each other. Daddy is right, he is a good man.

  16

  We are working cows today. It takes a lot of work, but it’s one of my favorite things to do. “Lottie, I need you to go to the feed store for me. They have the order I put in, Take Jake with you," Daddy says. I start to protest but decide against it. I’ll need help. Maybe it won’t be bad. I have to get used to the idea that he will be my brother-in-law.