Walk of Shame

by Gregory, O. L.

  Troy grinned. "Yes. And this is only after he vacuumed the pier and the grass leading up to it. As soon as he's done, set design will hustle out there to set up the tables and candles. Now, they're going to line the pier and dock with flower petals. So, when you walk down the pier, don't put any weight on the heel of your shoe because you won't be able to see the cracks between planks. But the dock is covered with a top layer of ply wood, so you'll be okay once you're out there."

  "Troy, is that dock freaking floating?"

  "Yeah," he said with a sigh.

  "The shoes have to go."

  "I knew you were going to say that."

  "I'll break an ankle and fall in the water!"

  "I told them that."

  "And what did they say?"

  "They said beauty hurts."

  I drew my lips into line.

  "Do whatever you're going to do, just don't tell me your plans. I'd like to be able to claim ignorance, please."

  "Wish granted."

  "Perfect. I'm going to go check on a few things. Stay here and try not to look so sour."

  I lifted the corners of my mouth into a grin and tried to have it not look conniving.

  The guy with the shop-vac came up the pier and prop masters descended. In a matter of minutes, they'd transformed a dock that was usually covered with boaters, swimmers, and sunbathers into an elegant, romantic oasis.

  They sicced the photographers on me to take beauty shots with the dock in the background. Producers ran me through a series on on-camera questions to get me talking about how I was feeling at that moment and how confident I was in my choice. Anything they could think of to help capture the moment of anticipation, that fluttered around in the air and in my stomach, they asked.

  Troy came back to get me. "We have a two hour window before a storm rolls in, they'd like to get this moving along." He held his arm out to lead me down to the dock.

  I took his arm as the four camera crews assigned to film from different angles and distances started rolling. I walked with him until we reached the pier. Then I paused to slip off my shoes. "Just so I don't trip on the pier," I excused, and held them in one hand as I took Troy's arm again.

  Troy held his smile as we made our way down towards the dock. Once we were down there, I pretended to trip over the leg of one of the tables. In my stumble, where Troy actually clutched onto my arm to make sure I didn't fall off the dock, I let my arms shoot out to 'catch my balance', letting go of the shoes, and then watched in feigned horror as they splashed into the water.

  I turned and looked up at Troy in conspiracy-tinged stupefaction.

  He tucked his lips in between his teeth to keep from smiling.

  My mouth dropped open as I turned to the onsite producers. "Oops," I breathed.

  The producer sighed, pulling out her phone. "I'll text wardrobe."

  "You know," Troy said. "If they don't have anything on hand in the trailer, it could take a while for them to run somewhere to get something. And that storm is coming. What's the harm in letting her go barefoot?"

  "It's about the ensemble of the outfit," the producer said.

  "I thought it was about the character of our girl," Troy countered. "And isn't it more in tune with her nature to be barefoot, rather than in five-inch hooker shoes?"

  "They are not hooker shoes," the producer said.

  "She thinks they are," Troy said.

  The producer looked at me and sighed. "Do you approve of the gown, or are you going to jump into the water when I turn around?"

  I smiled. "The gown is fine. And without those heels to keep my balance on this dock with, I'll have no excuse to fall into the water."

  "Well, good," the producer said as she straightened the table I'd nearly taken out with my 'fall'. She glanced at the sky and then her watch, "Fine, let's roll, we have the shoes in the promo photos and your gown hangs to your feet as it is." She turned to the crew, "Places, everyone. Let's get this show on the road."

  People scattered and my eyes followed Troy as he went back up the pier to greet the first guy that was being driven over in a limo. There was another camera crew waiting up there to capture his arrival.

  Troy greeted Liam with a handshake as he got out of the car. Liam didn't know if he was arriving first or second, had no idea whether I was picking him or not. Only knew that it was time to either put up or shut up. He was here either to propose, or to call the whole thing off.

  I was confident in both of these guys. But the truth remained that if the guy I wanted wasn't ready to propose, the whole season we'd just filmed would become a wash and I'd walk away empty-handed.

  And I'd spend the next year hiding as the entire country watched my wasted efforts unfold.

  Liam looked so damned handsome in his tuxedo, as I watched him walk down the pier. He was smiling at me and looking confident with himself. He hugged me as soon as he got down to me. "Finally," he whispered in my ear, kissed my cheek before he pulled away, and held my arms out to our sides as he gazed at me from head to toe. "You look gorgeous."

  He got a gleam in his eyes as the cameramen adjusted their lenses to capture their angles better, and sound guys moved ever so slightly to catch our words. "I've been pacing since we parted on Tuesday, waiting to get to this moment," he said. "I've known for weeks that we were meant for each other. You're adventurous, outdoorsy, and fun to be around. You like people but yet like to retreat into solitude. You like to get out there and enjoy life, but then like to hole up somewhere to work. I think we can balance each other out perfectly. I think what we have can last."

  He locked eyes with me and smiled. "I have fallen so hopelessly in love with you over the last two months, that I don't have the words to express it. I want absolutely nothing more in this moment than to spend the rest of my life with you."

  He dropped down to one knee. "I -"

  I dropped my hands to his shoulders, my eyes tearing up.

  "Emmaline, I -"

  "Stop," I whispered, tears starting to run down my face.

  "Emmaline -"

  "Stop, please," I whispered, closing my eyes to his shocked expression.

  He closed his mouth and moved his head ever so slightly to the side, looking over my shoulder before closing his eyes to gather his thoughts.

  I knew I should be saying something, but there were no words of comfort I could offer, so I let the silence settle around us. Even the crew went utterly still. The only sound around was that of the water lapping at the dock.

  "You're choosing him," Liam said with a flat, emotionless voice.

  "Yes," I said in a soft whisper.

  He slowly stood and looked down at me, "Why?"

  I took a moment to debate how to explain it to him. What was I supposed to say? That I'd decided that I could say goodbye to him but not Mike? That my very first impression of seeing Mike was slightly better than of seeing him for the first time? Neither of those factors were going to hold any kind of comfort for him.

  I shrugged my shoulders. "Pure gut instinct," I whispered.

  He tucked his lips between his teeth and bit down, probably holding back a retort, as he scrubbed at his face with his hands, trying to accept what I was telling him. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

  I shook my head. "I'm as sure as I can be without a crystal ball to predict my future."

  "You said you loved me."

  The tears sprang up in my eyes again. "I do," the whisper coming out harshly.

  "But?"

  My eyes sank to the decking, "But I love him more."

  He made a noise of disgust. But, ever the quiet gentleman, he raised his head to hold himself proud. "I hope you find happiness," he said.

  "I want nothing but the same for you," I said in a louder voice, meeting his gaze.

  He gave a curt nod and turned, walking away from me, and out of my life.

  I started trembling and I sank to my knees, silently holding sobs back. He was having the decency to take the rejection like a man and n
ot getting openly mad at me. The least I could do was spare him the annoyance of feeling as if he should come back and comfort the woman he'd been ready to propose to but had dumped him instead.

  Tears streamed down my face and the cameras on me kept recording, but they backed off to give me space. As soon as I thought Liam was out of earshot, I gave voice to my sorrow and that's when the producer started sending out texts.

  I could see that Troy and the camera crew up by the car had stopped Liam to conduct a mini exit interview. Many guys would have walked straight past them and have angrily gotten into the car, just wanting to put distance between himself the woman stupid enough to crush his hopes. But Liam was ever the understanding gentleman. I could tell he was agitated, with his hand swiping though his hair, but he was giving some semblance of answers to the questions being asked.

  And his somewhat calm demeanor helped to calm me. I pulled myself together, reminded myself why I'd dumped one of the greatest men I'd ever known, and stood up on my own two feet.

  Production was careful about making sure the rejected guy's and the unknowing guy's limos didn't cross paths with each other as one left and the other arrived. My makeup was quickly touched up while production saw to the exchange. And then, boom, the limo appeared and Mike got out to speak with Troy.

  It was so weird. To see Mike from a distance and to know that he was the one, but he didn't. I zeroed in on the smile he was giving Troy as they spoke. It was a crooked grin, and I knew from that he was nervous. And he had every right to be. Ring in his pocket, cameras in his face, and he ran the risk of proposing to a person that could say goodbye and never look at him again.

  Liam had masked the emotions my rejection had caused pretty well. And I knew Mike could have, too. But I also think inside it would tear Mike up more, just because he'd gone so far out of his way to try to protect himself against a hurt like what I'd just dished out to Liam.

  Once Mike's foot hit the pier and he started his final approach to me, I let all of that go and put every joy I was feeling, and every confidence I had, into the expression on my face. Mike spent the first few seconds of the walk down the pier watching his footing, before looking up at me. He saw my smile, read the rest of my expression, and a full, even grin appeared on his mouth.

  He walked straight to me and embraced me, pulling me close and all but lifting me off my feet.

  I hugged him back, whispering, "I love you," in his ear over and over again.

  He let out a laugh, kissed my neck, and whispered, "I love you," back. He set me down on my feet, drew my chin up with his forefinger, and kissed me softly, but deeply, before lifting his head away.

  Heaven help me, all I could do was grin up at him like a simpleton.

  He gave a small shake of his head while he kept smiling. "I can't believe we're finally here," he whispered.

  I nodded. "Just you and me."

  His hands still held my face, thumbs brushing my cheeks. A sparkle lit in his eyes and he kissed my forehead.

  I laughed and he let go of me. Standing up straight and tall, his eyes never leaving mine, he pulled the small telltale box out of his tuxedo pocket. The smile that spread across my face was almost too wide to be contained.

  He eased himself down on one knee, but kept the box closed in his hand. "I came here to take a chance. A chance on this gorgeous girl my brothers saw on a website for a TV show. And though my father thought I was nuts, and my mother thought there must be something wrong with the girl for agreeing to come do this, I was hooked from the moment I read your bio.

  "I was nervous about how I would be accepted, and I was insecure about how I'd measure up against a group of other men that had been selected for you. But you changed that for me. You singled me out on night one because of the uniform. And I panicked over that and showed you the leg because I didn't want you to have a false perception of me. But then I came to realize that I was the one with the false perception of myself, because the expression on your face whenever you saw me didn't change the whole way through this. You were still as impressed by me at any given moment as you were when I first got out of the car.

  "That scared me because I felt like you had expectations of me that I could never rise to. I told one of my brothers that you looked at me with a bit of hero worship. He told me that I was a hero and to get over trying to deny it, already.

  "You made me see myself in new light. That's when I was determined to show you what life with me, not my profession, but with me, would be like. That's when I started showing up for the runs I'd see you do. And damn if you didn't accept me doing that, too. But then you scared me again by making me think I was being put into the friend-zone. But you just kept smiling and running, and you never lost that look in your eyes. You had different looks you saved for different guys throughout the last two months, but I watched many of those looks waver and leave your face as you grew to know us more and more. It was fascinating for me to watch.

  "And just a few minutes ago, when I first looked down here, I saw the expression aimed at me change for the first time. The look you gave me was freer, clearer, lighter. There's nothing I want more than to see this same expression light your face for the rest of our lives." He opened the box to display the ring. "Will you marry me? "

  Tears flowed down my cheeks despite the smile shining from my lips. "Our morning run was my favorite part of the day. You were my solid rock through this, and always here. You let me vent frustrations and laughed at my rants. You got a better look at who I am than anybody else, and you just kept coming back for more. I surrounded myself with criticism for others, so I could weed my way through the mire. And I became so focused on trying to ditch people that I forgot to take measure of my keepers. By the time I was down to the best of the bunch, I was lost. It's so easy to look around and see who isn't meant for you. It's not so easy to look around and see the one who is meant to be with you.

  "My sister pointed out to me a phrase that I always use in my romance novels. The girl always says 'I'm sold' in my stories. And that's the phrase that went through my head the first time I saw you. And I finally talked to my Mom. She's the one that told me I was looking at it the wrong way. She said not to try to figure out who I could see myself living with. She said to pick who it is that I can't live without.

  "Saying goodbye to Jared and Liam was hard, but I realized that saying goodbye to you would be impossible."

  Mike just kept smiling up at me after I'd stopped talking. He finally chuckled. "Is that a yes?"

  "Oh! Yes, of course!" I said with a laugh.

  He quickly slid the ring on my finger and stood to embrace me again. No doubt, glorious music would be queued in the editing room later. But I swear, in this moment, I found I didn't need it.

  Troy came up to us after we pulled apart from each other. He handed me an envelope.

  I smiled as I recognized it from the day he'd sealed it. Troy must have swiped it from my rig.

  "Turns out, I was wrong," Troy said.

  I gave him a questioning look, wondering why he was doing this now, if he'd been wrong. I opened the envelope and pulled out the folded sheet of paper. Inside his note, he'd written, 'You'll choose Jared, but you deserve Mike.'

  I smiled and reached out to hug Troy. "Thank you," I whispered.

  Interviews would come, along with network appearances, but they would be finished eventually, and regular life would start up again. And when it did, Mike would be by my side. That was the most surreal part of it all. We'd move forward to forge a new kind of normal, together.

  Current and

  Upcoming Titles

  Daughter of the Bering Sea (February, 2013)

  Gift of the Bering Sea (May, 2013)

  Bering Sea Retribution (?)

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  Lulling the Kidnapper (July, 2013)

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  Looking to the West (December, 2013)

  Rusty's Beautiful Skye (December, 2014)

  Teddy's Drive-In (November, 2015)r />
  Sweet on Coco (2016)

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  The Daddy Secret (August, 2014)

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  Madam President (November, 2014)

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  Walk of Shame (December, 2015)

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