by Sarah Bailey
I didn’t have a clue how to respond to that. Brazen didn’t even cut it. Audacious. Shameless. All the fucking words I could think of for the boldest boy I’d ever met in my life. And I had to admit… I kind of loved everything about it.
Meredith: Goodnight Cole.
Cole: Let me take you out tomorrow.
Meredith: I’ll think about it.
Cole: Playing hard to get doesn’t suit you. We both know you’re going to say yes.
Meredith: Goodnight Cole.
Cole: Sweet dreams, my queen.
I stared at what he’d called me.
His queen?
He’d mentioned treating me like a queen, but I hadn’t paid it any mind given everything else he’d said to me. I wasn’t his anyway… yet.
I set my phone on its charging stand and curled up under the covers. Every time I attempted to drop off, my mind would conjure up vivid images of Cole and me together. Instead of denying myself, my hand drifted down my body. Cole would never know I’d touched myself whilst thinking about him.
If he knew how much he’d gotten under my skin, I would have no hope.
That boy would dig his way inside me in ways I never imagined possible.
And I’d let him.
Chapter Thirteen
I met Meredith in the city centre bright and early so she wouldn’t spend the entire time worrying we might run into someone we knew. There’d be less chance of that lost in the millions as opposed to remaining close to Kensington where we both lived. Making sure she didn’t bolt and keeping my promise this would remain between the two of us had become my top priorities.
Meredith looked cute today, tucked up in her coat and scarf. The breeze made her cheeks pink as we strolled along the South Bank hand in hand. She’d not appreciated me calling her early to get her up for this date, but I knew once she found out what we were doing, she’d be happy. Meredith wanted to give us a chance despite all of her insecurities and whatever else went on inside her head.
“So, what’s on the agenda for today?”
I looked down, finding her head tipped up to me.
“You wanted me to plan something other than hanging out?”
Her eyebrow arched upwards.
“Hanging out? Is that what we’re doing? Huh, and here I thought you were trying to date me.”
I leant closer.
“I hate to break it to you, but we are dating whether or not you want to label it that.”
Her mouth closed and she looked forward again, her cheeks flushing. At least she recognised the fact.
“You’re not my boyfriend yet, Cole,” she muttered.
I smiled. She’d agree to be my girlfriend, eventually.
“Do you hold hands with every boy who isn’t your boyfriend?”
“No, I think you’d get jealous if I did that.”
“You’re right. I don’t want anyone else holding your hand but me.”
I watched her bite her lip and her hand tighten in mine.
“And before you get all worked up, I do have plans for us today. I didn’t turf you out of bed for no reason.”
She looked up at me.
“Yeah?”
I nodded. She looked so damn adorable staring at me with awe written all over her face. It made me want to take her in my arms and kiss that smart mouth of hers.
“I might not be able to take you out for a drink, but I can try to make our dates fun.”
It’d be two years before I could take Meredith out to a bar or anything like that. The disparity in our ages was made clear by the fact she could legally drink and I couldn’t. She was an adult and I was still considered a child. Wouldn’t stop me from being with her as long as she didn’t run because of it.
We arrived outside the National Theatre and Meredith stared up at it with a smile. She turned to me with confusion.
“Why are we stopping?”
“We’re going on a backstage tour.”
Her eyes went wide.
“What?”
“Come on.”
I dragged her towards the entrance.
“No, but seriously, Cole, what did you just say?”
“We’re going on a backstage tour, so you can see behind the scenes and all that.”
“Is that why we had to get here so early?”
I smiled and dropped her hand to wrap an arm around her and press my face into her hair.
“Yes. I know you like this kind of thing.”
She fisted my jacket in her hand, drawing me closer.
“Cole… I don’t know what to say.”
“All you have to do is enjoy it.”
When she’d given me a chance, I’d spent a long time looking at places I could take her. The thing I knew Meredith loved was the theatre, so giving her this seemed apt even if I had no idea whether or not she’d been before. Judging by her reaction, she hadn’t.
“Thank you.”
She let me lead her into the building and find where the tour started. Meredith had the biggest smile on her face. It made planning this and getting up early worthwhile.
Whilst we toured the theatre, she looked around with rapt interest and asked the guide a ton of questions. I don’t think I’d ever seen her so animated about anything. Meredith was usually either cutting people down with her smart mouth or remaining as far away from others as she could. Here, she was open and free. Her smiles were genuine and easy. The appreciation she had for me bringing her here written all over her face.
What a fucking sight to behold.
Nothing could prepare me for this feeling in my chest. I made this moment possible. It wasn’t me bullshitting to get what I wanted or telling her what to do, although I couldn’t wait for when I could indulge in the latter.
“You okay?” she asked as we were looking at the set being built for a new show.
“Yeah.”
“I know it’s not that interesting.”
I took her hand and gave it a squeeze.
“I’m not bored. Besides, making you happy is all I want.”
Her green eyes softened.
“I am happy. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
She shrugged and looked away.
“Being here reminds me of my dad.”
I knew from Raphi her dad had died four years ago from a heart attack.
“He brought me here when I was younger. We always used to see plays together. It was our thing… I miss him.”
The sadness lacing her tone made my heart hurt. Losing him must’ve hurt her deeply.
“Is that why you want to do this for a living?”
“Yeah. I’ve always liked painting and designing. I used to drive my brother crazy by insisting on making all these little backdrops, then stealing his Lego men to perform plays with them.”
Her expression became pained when she mentioned her brother. She shook it off the next moment but something about it bothered me.
“Siblings, eh?”
She chuckled.
“Yeah, though you must have it worse with three.”
I shrugged and reached out for her hand, lacing our fingers together. The tour was moving on, so we followed the group.
“Sometimes, but being the baby has its perks.”
“Oh, I’m sure… didn’t Raphi call you a mummy’s boy?”
I scowled. My damn brother. Meredith hadn’t yet seen me interact with my parents other than at dinner. My dad asked me about her the first time she’d come over. I hadn’t told him what happened between us in my room, despite his questions. I’m sure he knew I liked her, even if it wasn’t obvious to anyone else. He had a way of seeing right through me, which meant I couldn’t hide a single thing from him. Plus, it didn’t help how alike we were.
“Yes.”
“It’s okay, I was a daddy’s girl until…” her voice got all small and distant as she trailed off.
I squeezed her hand,
not wanting her to be upset. We were silent as the guide explained something about the stage we were standing on, but my attention was on Meredith. Her green eyes were full of unspoken emotions. Sadness. Regret. I wanted to soothe her. I just didn’t know how when we were surrounded by people.
She visibly shook herself the next moment and smiled up at me, obviously trying to hide her emotions from me. I wasn’t fooled but pressing the matter wouldn’t help. Instead, I leant down and pressed my lips to her hair, reassuring her it was okay.
When the tour was over, the two of us walked over to the railings by the Thames and looked out across the water towards the other side. I wrapped an arm around her waist, drawing her closer to me since it was cold. She tucked herself between me and the railing, letting me wrap my arms around her.
“Thank you for this. It was amazing to get to see behind the scenes. One day that’ll be me back there… I hope anyway.”
“It will be. I know you’ll succeed.”
She didn’t speak, just tilted her head back and stared up at me. This girl fit so perfectly to me. I thought I might have more of an uphill battle to get Meredith to date me. It wouldn’t have stopped me anyway. Nothing would. Meredith was mine. No one else could have her. Getting to know more about her only made me all the more certain. I’d got past the tough girl act and saw the real girl inside. The one who had vulnerabilities and insecurities. The raw and emotional Meredith who was scared to let anyone else in.
“I never imagined you’d be like this.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Like what?”
“Thoughtful, kind, a good listener.”
I grinned.
“It may come as a surprise, but I’m not actually a dick, Meredith. And that stuff… I get it from my dad.”
“I never thought you were a dick. Arrogant and cocky are the words which spring to mind.”
“I won’t dispute that.”
She lowered her head down again, staring out across the water.
“You’re lucky I like those things about you.”
Leaning down, I nuzzled her ear, making her squirm.
“So you weren’t lying when you said you’re into me last night. Tell me what else you like.”
Her hand curled around my arm situated across her chest.
“I’ll have to add narcissism to the list of not so sexy attributes.”
I chuckled.
“I’ll happily list everything I like about you in exchange.”
“You’re like a dog with a bone… that’s another thing to go on the minus list.”
“Just tell me.”
She turned around in my arms and stared up at me, those green eyes telling me she wasn’t particularly impressed right now.
“Fine.” She waved a hand at me. “You’re very attractive. Like out of my league attractive and you can spare me the ‘oh, am I? I hadn’t noticed’ routine. I don’t think any of your parents would be capable of making ugly babies.”
“Out of your league?”
“Yes, Cole. You are way, way out of my league, which is why I’ve had a hard time understanding what it is you see in me.”
I raised an eyebrow. She was right. I did notice the way girls looked at me like I was a piece of meat they wanted to devour. I knew I was a good-looking boy, but she failed to see she was just as attractive as me if not more.
“What I see in you? Meredith, I’ve told you already, you’re beautiful, like so fucking beautiful it drives me crazy every time I look at you.” I leant closer, staring into her eyes so she could see the truth of my words. “I like that you’re smart, outspoken and so fucking brave. You take risks even if they could backfire on you. And the way you’ve opened up to me, showing me who you really are, fuck, that makes you all the more stunning inside and out.”
Her lips parted, a small exhale escaping them.
“I’m not out of your league. If anything you’re out of mine, but I don’t give a shit. You call me arrogant and cocky, I call it knowing what I want and going after it. I want you and if we weren’t in public right now, I’d show you exactly how much.”
She swallowed and closed her mouth. Perhaps I’d been a little intense, but she needed to know how much I desired her. How much I wanted to make her mine completely. Every part of her. It wasn’t about how much I wanted to ravage her either. Protecting her was just as important. Making sure she was happy and cared for. Giving her everything she needed.
I wanted to be Meredith’s friend, confidant, protector and lover.
If only she could see how serious I am about her.
I’d have to prove it to her over and over again until she got it into her head.
“Now, it’s chilly as fuck out today so why don’t we go grab a hot drink, hey?”
She nodded slowly. Pulling away, I took her hand and pulled her along the South Bank. Determined to make sure the rest of our date would show Meredith I wasn’t fucking about. She and I were going to be together as a couple. She just had to catch up and get on board with it.
Chapter Fourteen
The rest of Cole and I’s date was spent in a coffee shop exchanging stories about our childhoods and not addressing what he’d said to me after the tour of the theatre. The intensity of his words and the look in his eyes told me he was very serious about me. I couldn’t keep pushing back against him and letting my insecurities ruin this. No matter how much trouble being with Cole could cause me, especially when Jonah found out, I wanted to make it work. I wanted this with him. To be… his.
After we’d had a spot of lunch, we headed back to Kensington on the tube. I didn’t want our date to end and was happy when Cole decided he’d walk me home. He’d made me feel special today, especially choosing to take me on a backstage tour. Of all the things he could’ve picked, that was the very last thing I expected.
“You worried about your exams?” I asked as we walked up my street.
Exam season would be on upon us soon.
“No, I’ll do fine. Not almost top of the class for no reason.”
I smiled. Not sure what else I expected as a response. Cole didn’t seem to let anything faze him in life.
“There’s that arrogance again.”
“What you call arrogant, I call confident in my own abilities.”
“Oh yeah? Then why aren’t you top of the class?”
He looked down at me, his hazel eyes darkening.
“Don’t need to be.”
“It’d tarnish your bad boy persona, that’s why.”
For a moment, I thought he might snap back at me for that. Instead, he threw back his head and laughed.
“Can’t have that or you wouldn’t like me anymore.”
I shoved him in the shoulder with my free hand.
“Shut up, I’m not that shallow.”
His eyebrow rose.
“No? Is that not why you’re into me? For my… what did you say earlier… out of your league attractiveness?”
I scowled.
“No, Cole, I like you for you. The outer package is a bonus as far as I’m concerned.”
He leant closer and waved a hand at himself.
“More than a bonus when the only person in this world who gets all of this is you.”
I bit my lip, pulling him to a halt as we reached my house.
“Is that supposed to make me feel grateful?”
“Very.”
“You are so…”
I fought to find the right words. He made it difficult to fit him in a box. Cole was like a walking contradiction. He could be so bloody cocky, but he didn’t make me feel as though my insecurities were invalid. He fought against them by showing me they were baseless. For all his arrogance and pushiness, he’d respected my wishes about not telling anyone about us and giving me time to come to terms with us. Showing me I didn’t need to be scared of what we were.
“I’m so what, Meredith?”
He stepped clo
ser to me, his hand coming up to cup the back of my head.
“Everything you never knew you needed?” he continued.
“Yes,” I whispered. “That.”
His face moved closer until his lips were inches from mine.
“You can say no.”
After our near-perfect date, I wanted him to kiss me. It had nothing to do with never having been kissed or needing to get it over with and everything to do with wanting the boy in front of me.
You make me feel alive, Cole Carter. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you.
“Cole.”
“Yeah?”
“Stop talking and kiss me.”
The way his hazel eyes darkened set my blood on fire, but it was nothing compared to the way my lips tingled in anticipation. His hand at the back of my neck, stroked across my skin, making me want to arch into him.
The press of his mouth against mine sent a spark of pleasure down my spine. His lips were soft, moulding against mine as he moved them ever so gently, testing the waters. This was, after all, the first time either of us had experienced a kiss. It was everything and nothing like I expected. The feelings exploding in my chest over having him kiss me almost overwhelmed all my senses. Cole showed me with that simple touch just how much he wanted this. Wanted me. Wanted us.
I wanted it to go on and on, so when he pulled back, my mouth followed his, my body swaying forward. I put my hands out, steadying myself against him. It wasn’t enough. No, I wanted more of Cole’s mouth against mine. I needed to explore every inch of him.
“Do you want to come in?”
The words came out in a rush. My need to keep him here bulldozing any of my fears about what this meant. How letting this boy kiss me would change everything irrevocably. How I set us on a path neither of us expected to walk down.
“Yes.”
There was no hesitation on his part. His eyes searched mine all the same as if making sure I was serious. There was no way in hell I was inviting him in so we could sleep together. This was entirely about wanting to kiss him in the privacy of my bedroom where my neighbours wouldn’t be looking out and getting an eyeful.