Shock washed across my brother’s face as my mom smiled proudly. The contrast in the two was almost comical. Levi stared at me, then turned his attention to our mom. “You’re okay with this?”
I got where he was coming from. Mom was the reason we never scheduled shows over Christmas, nor the few days leading up to it.
“Would you have wanted Poppy to be alone at Christmas?” Mom’s matter-of-fact question had Levi gaping.
“You have a girlfriend?” Poppy had stepped up behind Levi holding their cute-as-fuck son. Eyes bugging, she grinned like an idiot at the thought of me seeing someone. My nephew reached for me.
“Why is my personal life of sudden interest to everyone?” Smirking, I was intentionally evasive as I pulled Ian into my arms.
“So who is this friend?”
I shot a look of sheer exasperation at Dominic. I couldn’t believe that I’d suddenly become the center of every single person’s interest. With a grin, he’d joined the growing crowd around me.
An itchy burn started inside me as I realized I was being stared at. Looking past everyone, I met Aiden’s glare as it seared into my skull.
I’d nearly forgotten Mom had invited him and his family here tonight, too. It was the entire band family Christmas. Christmas Day was reserved for just immediate family.
Hesitantly scanning the room, I found Dominic’s mom, Gia, and Aiden’s mom, Maggie, sitting at the dining room table with coffee mugs and bright smiles. They both waved at me.
Addison sat next to them, but she had her eyes glued to her mug. We hadn’t really spoken since that morning in Boston.
Sending a return smile and a wave to them, I was suddenly thankful for the Xanax I’d swallowed dry on my way up the stairs. My heart was already starting to race as Aiden looked like he wanted to pounce on me and beat the fucking shit out of me.
Promising myself to try to talk to him again when I got back, I returned my attention to my interrogation group. “It’s someone I knew years ago and ran into again in Boston.”
At my words, Aiden gave a snort. I knew why. For the millionth time I regretted getting so fucked-up that night. It was stupid and reckless.
In fact, I’d been so fucked-up that I didn’t even remember the details of that night. Which made me feel worse, because I didn’t know if I’d hurt her or not. I’d deserved the shiner Aiden had given me the next morning and then some.
“So this secret someone is a ‘she’?” Autumn blinked in an exaggeratedly innocent manner as she hooked an arm around Dominic and he took Lexi from her. Though Autumn tried to keep a straight face, her lips tipped briefly. Little shit.
I sighed.
“Yes, it’s a she, but we’re only friends. And she’s not a secret, I just hadn’t had a reason to bring her up.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Addison slouch her shoulders and fiddle with the mug in front of her. “Um, is it time to eat yet?”
“Oh!” Mom jumped a little and raced for the kitchen. “I almost forgot to pull the ham out!”
The inquisition ended, I handed my nephew back to Poppy and made the excuse of helping set the table to escape the scrutiny of my family and friends. After dinner we opened gifts, then played cards for a couple of hours. The entire time I picked apart my mother’s acceptance of me not being there for Christmas.
Poppy and Levi left first because Ian was getting tired. Dominic and Autumn were right behind them with Eli and Lexi. Since Gia had ridden with them, she left too.
Maggie and Addison were helping my mom clean up, and Aiden was sitting talking music with my dad. When my dad got up to go get his guitar, Aiden’s eyes cut to me.
“So you were a busy boy in Boston, huh? Couldn’t keep it in your fucking pants, could you?” His snide comment had my hackles raising.
“Jesus Christ, Aiden. I already said she was just a friend. I didn’t sleep with her. Years ago, she worked at the coffee shop I used to go to here in Seattle. That’s it. How long is this going to be an issue between us? Not that I’m proud of what I did, but Addison and I are adults. I wouldn’t have done anything that wasn’t consensual. I hope you know that. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not that guy.” I wanted our friendship back. I wanted the easiness we had as a band back. The tension was killing me.
He stood and came toward me. Pushing himself into my face, he ground out, “You fucking asshole. You were so goddamn high that night you wouldn’t know if you were that guy or not. So maybe if you’re so worried about our relationship and me forgiving you, you should clean up your shit.”
“I told you a million times how sorry I was.” He was right, though. Regardless of what had happened between me and Addison, I did need to clean up my act.
“Sorry is a worthless, empty word. Show me that you have regret. Don’t fucking tell me.” Bumping his shoulder against mine, he walked away from me and into the kitchen. Maggie was somehow oblivious to the situation, because she smiled at her son as he hugged her. Addison stood behind her and looked from me to Aiden with a furrowed brow.
“Fuck.”
“Everything okay, son?” Not realizing my dad had come back downstairs, I jolted. Once my heart quit trying to jump between my ribs to escape, I was able to speak.
“Yeah, everything’s good.” Pasting a false smile on, I shoved my hands in my pockets.
My fingertips brushed against the pill there, and it set off a need I was beginning to hate. It was time to go, and I’d made up my mind.
“Mom, do you have a minute?” My eyes flickered briefly to Aiden where he glowered.
“Of course I do, honey. Is everything okay?”
“Jesus, why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m fine. I’m great. Couldn’t be better.” Well, that was a lie, but I wasn’t getting into it all at that moment. I cleared my throat. “Did you mean it when you said I should go spend Christmas with my friend?”
I’d spoken softly because I didn’t want to rub anything in Addison’s face, knowing her feelings for me. I also wanted to have a conversation with my mother without any of Aiden’s unnecessary comments.
My mother’s hand cradled my cheek like it had when I was a little boy. “Son, I believe you should. If my feeling about this girl is correct, you need to be with her. She shouldn’t be alone. She’s clean, right?”
We both knew she wasn’t asking if Stella showered.
“Yeah, Mom. She’s a really good girl.”
“Then you need to go.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” Her eyes held such warmth and love for me. It was more than I deserved.
Huffing out my held breath, I grinned. “Then I’m gonna go book a flight and pack a bag. Do you need help with anything before I go?”
“No, we’ve got this. You go. Just call me to let me know you made it safely. I love you. I hope you know that. I only want you to be in a good place.”
Pressing a kiss to her cheek, I turned to my dad where he’d already started showing Aiden something on his guitar.
“I’m taking off, Dad. Love you.” His gaze found me and he let loose with his easygoing smile. Max, his giant Golden Retriever, lay at his feet. When my dad spoke, his tail started thumping. I scratched behind his ears and he closed his eyes in doggy bliss.
“Love you too, son.”
The sound of guitar riffs followed me out of the house. Before I could change my mind, I pulled out my phone, booked a flight, and shot off a text to the guys and Tracey.
Me: I’m heading out of town. I’ll meet up with you guys in Arizona
After climbing in my truck, I sat with my hands shaking. My fucking heart was banging so hard it was giving Dominic’s drums a run for their money.
I debated whether I should call her or surprise her. Deciding on surprise, I dug out the pill that had been calling my name.
Swearing I would cut back after I got there, I tossed it back and drove off.
“All Your Reasons”—Matchbox Twenty
Lying in bed being lazy as hell,
I really wanted to call Logan, but I knew I needed to get my ass in the shower. Eying my phone, I tried to calculate out the minutes I’d have to talk to him before I got ready for work and the time difference between here and Seattle.
Kinsley had left yesterday for New York, and the silence of the apartment was driving me crazy. Deciding it was too early and I would have to call Logan after work, I connected to my Bluetooth speaker and put my playlist on shuffle.
As I procrastinated about rolling my ass out of bed, the Neon Trees sang about 1983. Spacing off with my thoughts of Logan, I stared at my ceiling and let the music wash over me.
Fighting the urge to touch myself while fantasizing it was Logan’s hands on me was proving difficult. Alone in the apartment, I tried to reason with my needs. It wasn’t working.
Closing my eyes, I allowed one hand to cup my breast as the other skimmed the surface of my skin in a trail to my core. The first brush of my fingers across my clit had me moaning.
In my mind, Logan caressed between my legs and pinched my nipple, tugging gently on my piercing. With each movement of my hand, my breathing increased. The blood pounded in my ears as I moved closer to the release I sought.
Breathless, I imagined his lips brushing along the skin of my neck. My imaginary Logan sank his teeth into the corded muscle of my shoulder, sending shudders through me. Faster my fingers flew as he surged into me in my mind.
Each thrust of his shaft played out in vivid detail as I grew frantic for release. The wet sound my fingers made only drove me forward.
Before I knew it, I was arched on the bed, heel of my hand pressed hard to my clit as my two middle fingers stroked that perfect spot inside. Waves of pleasure radiated from where my hand squeezed and stroked until the dam burst and I cried out his name.
“Logan!”
As my world returned around me and the pulsing in my ears subsided, I panted. “Fuck. I’m going to hell for lusting after my friend.”
The pounding in my chest calmed and I realized it wasn’t my heart I could hear, but the front door.
Scrambling to pull up my pants, I jumped from bed and washed my hands as my face flamed. “I’m coming!” I shouted.
A little voice in my head said, No, you already did that, now you’re just breathing hard.
Christ on a cracker.
Taking a deep, calming breath, I peeked through the peephole and almost swallowed my tongue. The object of my fantasy was standing outside my door. Oh God.
Jerking the door open, I held my hand to my still heaving chest.
“Logan,” I breathed. Insides fluttering, I seriously questioned the intelligence of this friendship. It wasn’t good for my heart.
For a few seconds he simply stood in the hall staring at my hand where it was attempting to hold my heart and lungs in. Then he blinked a few times and met my gaze.
“Damn, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” he whispered, sending my heart rate into overdrive once again. “Merry Christmas!”
Incredulous that the man had shown up on my doorstep unannounced for the second time, I squeaked, “What are you doing here?”
His vibrant green eyes flickered over my shoulder as he frowned slightly. “Is it a bad time for you? I didn’t think you had anyone coming for the holidays.”
Licking my lips, I processed his words slowly. He was so damn hot I couldn’t think straight. Then again, that could’ve been the hormones still coursing through me. “No, it’s good. I mean, I’m alone. Kinsley left with her dad and umm…. Yeah, it’s just me.”
The sexy little smirk I loved snuck across his kissable mouth, and I had to talk myself down from jumping him in the doorway. The sound of his voice had my sleeping pants a mess. “Can I come in then?”
He’s only a friend.
He’s only a friend.
He’s only a friend.
Friends don’t jump friends. Nor do they climb them like a tree. A sexy, brown haired, green-eyed beast of a tree. So I took another deep breath and stepped to the side so he could come in. “Yeah, sorry, you surprised me and I’m in shock.”
I couldn’t help the size of my smile. It was damn near splitting my face in two. Maybe a normal person would be mad that their guy friend showed up without warning. Oh, who was I kidding? No one in their right mind would turn the bass player to Straight Wicked away if he knocked on their door. At least not one with a vagina.
My cheeks burned at that last thought.
“I came prepared this time.” He held up a shopping bag. Sure he was referring to condoms or something, my core clenched and my mouth dropped open. My inner goddess screamed in elation.
As I peered into it, I saw a box that said air mattress. When I gaped at him, he grinned. Then he dropped the air mattress on the kitchen counter, scooped me up, and spun me around, causing me to squeal. “What are you doing?”
“I missed you!” When his lips made contact with my cheek, a current shot through me. The emotional roller coaster I rode every time I spoke with him was almost becoming too much. Tears threatened because I knew he didn’t mean it the way I hoped and never would. I had to have been the biggest masochist in history to continue to be friends with him—but like an addict, I couldn’t quit him.
Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I nervously glanced at his beautiful face. “I missed you too. I can’t believe you spontaneously hopped on a plane again and flew here to see me. You are certifiable, though. You do know that, right? Did you forget I have to work today? Shit, I feel bad now that you’ll be alone the whole time I’m working. Umm, how long are you here this time?”
“If it’s okay with you, I’m here until the twenty-seventh. Then I have to fly out and meet the guys in Arizona for a couple of shows before New Year’s. And don’t worry about it. I have some things I need to take care of, so I’ll do it while you’re at work.” As he set me down, I slid along his body. It was absolute torture, and I was about to spontaneously combust.
“I’ll be off by eight tonight and then I’m off tomorrow. But I work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. What time do you leave on the twenty-seventh?” Was that breathy voice mine?
“Not until 9:40 at night. So we’ll have the day together.” He sounded so excited and proud of himself. The boyish delight in his eyes had my heart melting.
Telling myself I couldn’t read more into the situation than there was didn’t help. “That will be great. What do you want to do while you’re here then?”
Shrugging, he stepped back and leaned against the counter. “Whatever. I’m cool with hanging out here and watching movies. Or if there’s something you wanted to do, I’m good with that too. I just want to be with you, and I didn’t want you to be alone over Christmas.”
Goddammit, why did he have to be so freaking sweet? He wasn’t making things any easier on me. Except it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t have a clue about what was in my heart.
If I had my way, he never would. There was no way I was going to risk losing him as a friend. I was sure if he found out I had been in love with him for years, he’d think I was some psycho stalker or that I was only friends with him because I was trying to trap him. God only knew what he might think.
There was no way he’d be okay with it. So instead of dwelling on it, I shoved the stupid fluttery feelings down into a dark corner of my soul once again. Pasting on a big smile, I dropped my shoulders. “Thank you for being so thoughtful. You should be with your family, but instead you’re here with me. I don’t even know what to say about that. There’s nothing I can say except thank you.”
Pushing off the counter, he framed my face. The calluses on his fingertips grazed along my cheeks, sending my pulse into overdrive. I would’ve sworn he was going to kiss me. Waiting, I prayed for it. His thumbs brushed the corners of my mouth. “That’s what friends do.”
Aaaaaaand arrow straight to the jugular.
“Yeah. Friends.” There went my too-bright smile again. What did I expect? That he was going to make a sudden declaration
of love? Such a stupid girl.
Suddenly no-nonsense, he looked at his watch. “Okay, Stella. Time’s a wasting. Chop chop. I’ve got things to do, and you’re going to be late for work.”
With a sigh, I spun on my heel and went to get ready. Black slacks, black shirt, slip-on Vans. A light touch of makeup and I would be done.
Leaning over the sink close to the mirror, mouth open, I was applying a coat of mascara when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.
Straightening and closing my mouth, I turned toward the doorway. Leaning against the frame, arms crossed, he watched me. The perplexed expression in his eyes had the corner of my lips tipping up. “What?”
Wordlessly, he stared. Then he shook his head slightly. “Nothing, really. You’re beautiful, and I was wondering if you realized it. Also, I was trying to figure out why girls hold their mouths open when they put that shit on their eyes.”
Not having an actual answer for that, I pulled my lips between my teeth before I replied. “Umm, because it works better.” He raised a skeptical brow at my response. “I have no clue. It’s just a thing.” My grin was real that time and I chuckled.
“Well, if you’re done trying to improve on perfection, we need to get going.” His statement had my face flaming.
“We?” It was my turn to be confused.
“Yeah, I told you I had some things to do. I figured I’d ride with you to work, take care of my shit, then come back here. Well, that is if you trust me with a key to your place. Maybe I didn’t think this out as well as I thought I did.” Chagrined, he wrinkled his nose and bit his lip.
So.
Fucking.
Hot.
Every single thing he did had my panties metaphorically melting. I may have survived a lot in my life already, but I didn’t think I’d survive him.
He had my brain so scrambled in hormones, it took a minute for what he’d said to register. “Oh! Seriously? What could I possibly have here that you’d want to steal?”
“You.” His eyes had darkened to deep forest green as he softly spoke. Then he took a deep breath and grinned. “I’ll steal you from work. To hell with them.”
No Treble Allowed: A Straight Wicked Novel Page 7