When the Storm Breaks (Lost Stars)

by Emery Rose

  Her eyes welled up with tears. “I love you, Brody. You know that, right?”

  I knew she loved me but like I’d told Shiloh there were all different kinds of love and the love Lila and I had for each other wasn’t the romantic kind. You would have thought I’d have figured this out a long time ago but for far too long I’d stubbornly clung to an ideal of love that was never real. “Love you too. And don’t worry your pretty head. I’m not in love with you.”

  “I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

  “Yeah, well, I can think of plenty of times you did stupid things.” She laughed a little and smacked my arm, still so physical.

  “Most of the stupid things I did were with you.”

  “I always brought out the best in you.”

  “You did though. You really did. You were always there for me and I’ll never ever forget everything you did for me over the years.” She began crying and maybe she was remembering everything the way I just had.

  “Am I dying? Have the doctors given me six months to live and I don’t know about it?”

  “Ugh. You’re the worst.” Catching me off guard, she threw her arms around me and held on tight. My arms wrapped around her and I took a deep breath. She still smelled like spring rain and honeysuckle. She was still, and always would be, the mother of my child and my best friend and the first girl I had a crush on. History couldn’t be erased but that’s all it was. History. Something to be left in the past where it belonged.

  “I’m getting mascara on your clean T-shirt,” she said, her voice muffled.

  I laughed. “Not the first time a girl has cried on my T-shirt.”

  “I’ve cried on your T-shirt so many times.”

  We were still wrapped in an embrace when my eye caught Jude’s. He was standing outside the barn watching me hold his wife. If this had happened five or ten years ago ... hell, even two years ago... we would have ended up in a fight. He would have thrown the first punch and we would have kept punching long after we’d both gone down. Now he just stood there, an expression on his face I couldn’t read. Not smug, exactly. Secure in the knowledge that Lila belonged to him and nobody, not even his jackass cousin, could ever destroy that bond or the love they had for each other.

  I released Lila and she smiled up at me through her tears. My first instinct was to wipe them away, but Jude appeared at her side and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. It was his job to take care of Lila. Message received. I wasn’t even mad about it.

  “Happy now? Did you get what you wanted?” I couldn’t help myself, could I? But unlike in the past, there was no anger in my voice.

  “You’re such a dumb shit. I knew you were lying.”

  He was referring to the night two years ago when he asked me if I had ever been in love with Lila. “You weren’t ready to handle the truth.”

  I’d lied to protect both of us. All three of us, really—myself, Lila, and Jude. The most fucked-up triangle that ever was.

  “Thank you,” he said, surprising the shit out of me.

  Guess we were finally growing up, letting go of all the shit we’d both been holding onto for too long. I couldn’t say it felt good, exactly, but it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. After all these years, we’d cleared the air and I was finally free.

  “Don’t expect any more favors from me,” I told him. “You’re on your own now. If you fuck up, I won’t be there to rescue you from your own stupidity.”

  He snorted. “Still an asshole.”

  “Takes one to know one.” With that, I swaggered away like the cowboy I was.

  “Bring Shiloh tomorrow,” he called after me.

  I kept right on walking as if I hadn’t heard him.

  “If you don’t do it, I’m going to invite her,” Lila shouted.

  Oh Jesus. “Keep your nose out of my business,” I called back, knowing damn well it would fall on deaf ears.

  That was how I ended up taking a rock star to a family dinner at a BBQ joint.

  “You don’t have to do this,” I insisted later that night while we were skinny dipping in the lake under the moon and stars. It was one of Shiloh’s favorite things to do. By the time I’d come over, Shiloh had already been informed of the birthday dinner. Not by Lila. Kate had called to invite her. Everyone and their mother were conspiring to get us together.

  “I love your family. Why wouldn’t I want to be there? Unless you don’t want me to be there... is that what this is about?” Her arms and legs were wrapped around me and we were spinning in a slow circle, my legs treading water, her body slippery wet against mine.

  Normally, I would say, “Come. Don’t come. Up to you.” As if I didn’t give a shit one way or the other. Which might have explained my shitty track record with relationships. But I was thirty-three fucking years old, and it was about time I started acknowledging what I really wanted.

  “I want you there but it’s not a private event,” I warned her. “It’s a roadside restaurant and you’ll have to deal with other customers and my family.”

  “I know how restaurants work. Nobody will even notice me. It’s not like I’m Carrie Underwood.”

  I laughed at that one.

  “I’ve been here a month and nobody’s so much as looked twice.” She smiled like it made her happy to go unnoticed.

  Too bad it wasn’t true. Every male who laid eyes on her looked twice, if not three or four times. And tomorrow she would be surrounded by all the McCallister men. This should be interesting. I preferred it when it was just the two of us and I didn’t have to share her with anyone. But you can’t always get what you want.

  And right now, I had her all to myself, in a cool lake on a warm June night under a sky reeling with stars. I kissed her lips and she kissed me back, her velvet tongue sliding against mine and her legs cinching tighter around my waist. And under her breath she said, Hallelujah. I didn’t even know what she meant by that. All I knew was that I wanted to get the hell out of this lake and get her into bed.

  Right the fuck now.

  We never made it to the bed.

  We got as far as the back porch and dropped our towels. I fucked her against the wall, cedar shingles digging into her back, her moans muffled by Drake’s “Fake Love” blasting from the speakers inside.

  “This is going to mess you up,” I said as I thrust into her. I was referring to the skin on her back getting scraped. She took it differently.

  “It already has. I love the pain you give.” She grabbed my face and held it in her hands, her chest heaving against mine, lush lips parted on a gasp as I stilled inside her. Buried so deep I wanted to stay there forever, her muscles clenching around my hard cock, the heels of her feet digging into my ass. I looked into her stormy grays, black hair slicked back from the swim in the lake, those high jagged cheekbones so prominent, and at that moment I knew that this was what falling in love really felt like.

  It was fast and furious, and it hit you with the force of a fucking Mack truck. My breath seized in my lungs. Shit. This couldn’t be good.

  I didn’t want her to look too closely, to read something on my face I wasn’t willing to admit to, so I lowered my head to her left breast, my teeth teasing and biting her rosy nipple. Her back arched away from the wood and I squeezed her ass cheeks in my hands as I lifted her off me then drove back into her. She met me thrust for thrust, her fingers tugging the ends of my hair, digging into my shoulders, her teeth drawing blood when they sank into my lip.

  And fuck I loved the pain she gave, too.

  “But oh, what a beautiful mess,” she said when she came, and I left all of me inside of her.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Shiloh

  It was official. I loved Brody’s family.

  By the time the food arrived—racks of ribs, brisket, barbecued chicken, all made on the open pit and served family style along with sides of mac and cheese, greens, cole slaw, beans—I’d already exchanged numbers with Jesse and Gideon. It was BYOB and Gideon had brought the
wine, making sure to keep my glass, his mother’s, and Lila’s topped up.

  “I’m doing a show at Madison Square Garden right before Christmas,” I told Gideon as he poured more wine into my glass. Another gorgeous McCallister. His hair was the darkest, almost black, his features chiseled and cheekbones high, and his eyes were a cool Arctic blue. “If you want tickets, let me know.”

  I told Jesse the same thing, but in his case, it was for the Staples Center in L.A. He forked some greens into his mouth then grinned. His hair was a lighter shade of brown and his eyes a deeper blue. So pretty. “Good to know the right people. If you ever want to come and watch a motocross race, I’ll hook you up.”

  I might have been a little tipsy, maybe even drunk which made me overly enthusiastic. I gushed, acting like motocross was my very favorite thing to watch. “I’d love to.”

  At that moment, I loved everyone. We were sitting on long benches, all nine adults, one child and a baby seated at a long wooden table topped with a red-and-white checkered plastic tablecloth. I was practically in Brody’s lap. One of his arms was wrapped around me and he was forced to use his left hand to eat but he didn’t complain or try to shove me off his lap.

  “Just remember who you came with, baby,” he growled in my ear after he caught me laughing at something Jesse said.

  I turned my head to see his face better. Was Brody jealous? “Oh, I remember who I came with. Four times last night. Not that I was keeping count.”

  “It was five. And I was keeping count.”

  I laughed and fed him a bite of mac and cheese from my fork. “You’re still my favorite McCallister.”

  “You’re quickly becoming my favorite everything.” His voice was low, so quiet I wasn’t sure he’d actually said the words.

  Before I could respond or ask him to repeat what he’d just said, he turned his head to talk to Ridge and left me wondering if I’d imagined it.

  Kate smiled at me from across the table. She was at the other end, with Noah sitting between her and Patrick, a spot he’d claimed after stating that his grandma would want to sit next to her favorite boy on her birthday. For a minute I was worried she’d think I was a hussy, sitting in her nephew’s lap for everyone to see, but I didn’t see any judgment on her face. She nodded like she’d figured something out then lifted her glass to me in a silent toast and we both drank, although I wasn’t entirely sure what we were drinking to.

  Brody squeezed my thigh, drawing my attention back to him. I gave him a love-drunk smile. “What’d you need, baby?”

  His arm around me tightened as my head swiveled in the direction of his gaze. Two teenage girls dressed in crop tops and cut-offs were standing at the foot of our table, cell phones in hand.

  “It is her! Oh my god, it’s Shiloh Leroux.” The girl hadn’t screamed it, but she’d spoken loudly enough to attract the attention of a few people at the other tables.

  Shit. I loved my fans and normally I was happy to engage with them. Sign autographs and chat for a minute. But I always hated it when they interrupted a meal or barged into the middle of a family gathering.

  They moved closer to where I was sitting. “Can we get a selfie with you?”

  Before drunk me had a chance to catch up and say sure what the hell, Brody lifted me off him and deposited me on the seat then got to his feet and turned to face them. “Put your damn phones away,” he growled. “We’re trying to have a family dinner here.”

  Now he was causing a scene and attracting even more attention. “Brody. It’s okay.”

  “I’ll take care of this,” Ridge announced, leaving his seat to join his brother. Now my view of the girls was obstructed by two sets of wide shoulders and the brothers’ backs as they stood side by side, a united front attempting to protect me.

  “Hey Ridge,” one of the girls said, her voice saccharine sweet. “You never mentioned that you knew Shiloh Leroux.”

  “Listen, babe, I don’t even know your damn name and I’ve never talked to either of you. Let’s keep it that way, yeah? And if you think this is Shiloh Leroux, you must be fucking stoned. So why don’t you back the hell away from my family and go post some of those duck-faced selfies?”

  I didn’t catch their response. But they did as he said, and I stifled a laugh.

  Ridge and Brody didn’t budge until the girls were gone and only then did they return to their seats.

  “If it wasn’t for Ridge’s accent, I would have sworn that was Brody talking,” Jesse said.

  Lila nodded. “It sounded exactly like something Brody would have said in high school.”

  “High school?” Jude snorted. “He’d say it now.”

  “Stop talking about me like I’m not sitting right here.” Brody wrapped his arm around me, and I took another sip of wine I didn’t need, a small smile on my lips.

  Maybe Brody didn’t notice it, but Ridge was a McCallister through and through, and his first loyalty was to his family. All the brothers were so different, had chosen their own paths in life, but you’d have to be blind not to see that every single one of them would drop everything to be there for each other. I was sure they had their share of disagreements in private, but they were fiercely loyal and quick to defend each other. I’d like to believe Landry would do the same for me, but history had proven otherwise, and it made me sad we’d grown so far apart.

  “I’m not the one with the accent. That’s all of y’all,” Ridge said, mimicking a Texan accent that was so bad it made everyone laugh.

  “Y’all owe me money for all the swear words,” Noah piped up. “Except for Daddy. He needs to save his money. It costs a lot of money to get married.” He tipped his face up to Patrick’s. “Right, Grandpa?”

  Patrick cleared his throat. “You got that right. Who’s he marrying?”

  Noah pointed his finger at me. “Shy Viv. They’re gonna have a baby.”

  My eyes widened. Brody nearly choked on his beer.

  Patrick crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Brody. “You knocked up another one?”

  “Oh Jesus, here we go again,” Brody muttered under his breath.

  All I could do was laugh.

  Before we all got into our cars to drive home, Kate hugged everyone goodbye. I was about to climb into the passenger seat of Brody’s truck when she pulled me into a hug just like I was another one of her kids. “I’m so happy you and Brody found each other, honey.”

  I didn’t have the heart to tell her we were only hooking up and this wasn’t a real relationship.

  “When a McCallister boy falls in love, it’s for life.” My heart stuttered. Could Brody be in love with me? Had Kate seen it on his face?

  “You good?” Brody asked when I climbed into his truck, none the wiser about what Kate had said. If he’d heard her, he probably would have run scared.

  I smiled. “Yeah, it’s all good.”

  And for the next week and a half, everything was good. It was so good I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

  Every morning Brody and I rode together at sunrise and every night he came over to the guest house. We talked, we fucked, we laughed so hard my stomach hurt. Sometimes he stayed the night but other times he went home, not wanting to leave Ridge on his own all the time. Ridge was working on a construction crew for the summer. Noah was in summer day camp from Monday to Friday. The same summer camp Hayley was enrolled in. On the Saturday after Kate’s birthday dinner, Noah informed me that Hayley was away for the weekend and I felt equal parts relief and disappointment. I’d decided it was for the best, and I could leave here knowing that everything had worked out the way it was meant to. I’d gotten my music career and Hayley had ended up in a good family.

  On Tuesday night, six days before I had to leave, Brody did something so unexpected and so sweet I added it to my list of things that made me want to cry.

  “I can’t see anything,” I complained.

  “That’s usually what happens when you’re blindfolded.”

  “Why am I b
lindfolded again? If you wanted kinky sex you could have just said so.” A twig snapped under my foot and his arm around me tightened, steadying me.

  “Stop talking, woman. We’re almost there.”

  “It feels like we’ve been walking for miles.”

  He snorted. “We can still see the guesthouse from here.”

  “Maybe you can but I can’t see a thing.”

  “You don’t need to. I’m guiding you.” Just then he removed his arm that had been around me.

  “Am I playing pin the tail on the donkey?” I asked. “Oh wait. Do you have a piñata out here?”

  He chuckled. “Be quiet.”

  I couldn’t tell what he was doing but a couple seconds later, he held my upper arms and guided me into a sitting position. Thankfully, there was a chair underneath to hold me up. When he took off the blindfold, my jaw dropped. “Oh my God.”

  Dumbfounded, I stared at the table in front of me set for two. Lanterns hung from the tree branches, casting a soft glow on the dark night. To my right was the lake and the guesthouse was behind us. The way the trees had grown here, it looked like a cathedral, a round clearing big enough for a table and two chairs. Next to our table was a camping stove with a pot sitting on it and next to that was a cooler full of beer and ice. It was those two things that made me laugh. They were so Brody. He didn’t even bother with glasses, assuming we’d just drink them straight from the bottle. Which was exactly what we did after he popped the caps with his key and handed me a cold beer.

  When he took a seat across from me, I stared at him for a few seconds in the flickering light from a candle in the center of our table. The candle was green, shaped like a cactus, and sat in a terracotta planter. The tablecloth was buffalo plaid, and I thought it might actually be a wool blanket doubling as a table covering.

  Romance, cowboy-style.

  He slid his phone out of his pocket, scrolled through his playlists and hit play. I laughed when The Rolling Stones’ “Start Me Up” blasted from the portable speakers. The June night was warm, the stars were bright, and the man across from me was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Not just on the outside. Through and through. This night couldn’t get any more perfect than this.