Fighting Envy

by Jennifer Miller

  Sweat pours down my face and back as I work the heavy bag in front of me over and over. I should be concentrating on my training, but I’m really only half assing it because all I can think about is Rowan and how she and Lily are doing. It’s been a week and all I can think about is how she’s managing all alone. Does she have everything she needs? Does she feel lonely? Is the baby keeping her up at night? Is she getting enough sleep - enough to eat? She hasn’t called. Why hasn’t she called?

  “What the fuck is wrong with you, Jackson? You’re punching like shit. An eight year girl punches harder than you are.”

  And that is why my dad is a fucking prick. Ignoring him, I continue to punch the bag, albeit a little harder now.

  “Cole, why don’t you get next to Jackson and show him how it’s done?”

  Gritting my teeth I ignore him and Cole’s uncomfortable laugh that follows the question – well, actually order. I know that giving him a reaction is exactly what he wants, so I do my best to ignore him. He hates me. I can never remember a time in my life when my dad gave me props for a job well done or encouragement to do my best. It only got worse when my grandfather died a little over a year ago and willed me this damn gym, thus passing over his own son in the process. You would think that a man that didn’t have a great relationship with his own father would do everything in his power to cultivate a good one with his own son, but no. Not my dad. At least the difference is that now, I can fucking fight and talk back. Not that that’s kept him from hurling a punch or smack in my direction even as an adult.

  All the guys deal with it but I know it puts them in an uncomfortable position – especially Cole. The only reason we keep him around is because he helps obtain sponsorships for each of us for our fights as well as organizes the fights themselves. He does a damn good job and I’ve convinced myself that dealing with his shit in the mean time is worth it. However, there are times, days and weeks where I daydream about firing his ass because I think the thing he hates the most is that no matter how you slice it, the old man works for me. I pay his fucking salary and so when he really gets under my skin I do my best to remember that, or point it out to him because then that makes his jealousy of the whole situation go to new heights. Just because I’m a son of a bitch and his reaction amuses me. Like father, like son, in that respect I guess.

  “That’s it, Cole! That’s a fucking mean right hook boy! Look at that, Jackson. You could learn a thing or two.”

  And that’s all it takes. I grab my towel, wipe my face, then turn and walk away.

  “Get back here while I’m talking to you, boy!”

  I give him the middle finger salute and start walking across the gym toward the locker rooms. On the way I see Britney, officially dubbed one of our gym hookers, trying to sink her talons into Levi. She and her friends Nikki and Sasha are here all the time. They are our MMA groupies. The guys pass them around like a druggie passes a joint and they could care less. I admit I’ve gotten it on with Britney a couple times, but once I realized she was making rounds, I decided it was best to keep my dick out of that waffle shack. Unfortunately, she doesn’t get obvious signs I’m throwing down and keeps trying to get my attention. It’s pathetic really.

  Levi winks at me as I pass and Britney has his bottom lip between her teeth. She’s looking at me while she does it clearly trying to get a reaction from me.

  “Okay, Jax?” Looking over at Zane as I walk in the locker room I give him a nod, not sure how he heard my dad from in here. “Your old man’s an asshole, dude.”

  “Yep,” I agree as I keep walking to the showers. Grabbing a towel, I turn the water on and wait for it to warm up before yanking my shirt over my head and sliding my shorts and briefs down my legs. Stepping into the warm spray, I pray it helps melt the tension off of my body. Closing my eyes, Rowan’s face is there and I sigh at the sight. I can’t get this girl out of my mind. Every time I have a quiet moment she’s there waiting for me.

  Having needed to do something – anything – I made a decision and sent an email arranging something I felt unsure about. However, when I opened my email this morning and saw the response sitting there, I know I did the right thing. Ever since, I’ve been anxious for the appointment, so I kept as busy as I could to pass the time. I quickly wash my hair and body, then rinse and shut the water off. Toweling myself dry, I spin around to go to my locker to dress but stop short when I see Britney standing there, eye fucking the shit out of me.

  “What the hell, Britney? What don’t you get about this being the men’s locker room?”

  Her eyes continue their perusal and she runs her tongue along her bottom lip making me shudder in disgust. She mistakes my reaction for lust and saunters over to me running her hands up my chest until they wrap around my neck. “Let me help ease some of that built up tension for you, baby. You seem stressed out. I can make you feel so good. You know I can.”

  Unwrapping her hands from around me, I push her away gently but firmly by her upper arms, “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not interested? Get out of here now, or I’m going to start banning you from coming into the gym at all. Besides, you were just hanging all over Levi. Go bother him.”

  “You know I really want you though, baby.”

  “I’m not your baby, now get the hell out.” I move past her to my locker and take my clean clothes out. Heading to the bathroom, I shut the stall so I can remove my towel in peace, and at the same time make a point.

  “Asshole,” I hear her mutter to herself, as if I care. I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear the door close behind her. I’m too nice to her and her dumb friends, but the fact is they have a lot of connections and they work them to bring a lot of people to our fights. Our MMA fights are always well attended, but the fight nights we put on here at the gym are always full of people they invite. A lot of them are girls hoping to get it on with a hot fighter. They can be as annoying as hell hanging on us all night hoping to get laid. I’ve always put up with it because I have a business to run, and money is money. If it means I have to put up with slutty horny women for an evening, so be it. Although lately, my views on the subject are changing – I’m not so sure it’s worth it any longer. Besides, the gym has started to take on a life of its own and their referrals are no longer needed.

  Once I’m changed I look for Zane in the gym. He has an extra key to the gym as does Levi, Ryder and Cole. I’d give one to Dylan too but he loses all kinds of random shit. I can always count on all of them to help me when need be. “Yo, Zane?”

  He turns from the weights he’s lifting, face flushed and grabs his towel to wipe his sweaty brow. “Sup?”

  “Just thanking you again for closing up tonight if I’m not back later.”

  “Yeah, no problem. I have to head out in a bit for a quick errand, but Cole’s covering.”

  I automatically tense at Cole’s name wondering if that means my father will be here with him too. With me gone I don’t want him to get into anything he shouldn’t. I force myself to let it go because I can trust Cole, plus the other guys will be here to keep an eye out. I may not understand Cole’s relationship with my dad, but it sure as hell isn’t his fault my dad is using him to get to me.

  “I’ll be back to close, though.”

  “Great,” I clap him on the back. “I appreciate it. I’m going to lock the office, but if you need anything, help yourself.”

  “See you later.”

  Making a quick stop in my office, I wait for the computer to quickly come to life, pull up the internet and jot down the directions I need. Grabbing my keys, I lock the office door behind me knowing the guys will unlock it if they need anything then head out to my truck. The drive to Florence where the jail is located takes me about fifty minutes since traffic is pretty light. Finding a parking spot takes a little time since it looks like I’m not the only one here for visiting time. I park in between two squad cars and make my way inside, walking through security before I reach the guy sitting behind a desk taking names.
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br />   “Hi, can I help you?”

  “Hi, yes. I’m Jackson Stone here to visit Tyson Martin. I booked my appointment online per the requirements.”

  He taps on his computer for a minute, “Here you are. As you know, your visit was approved or you wouldn’t be here. I just need you to sign your name on this form, please.” I do so and hand it back to him. “Thank you. Here is a key to locker 15,” he gestures down the hall towards the lockers lined up against the wall. “No personal belongings of any kind are allowed inside the visitation room. This includes your wallet, cell phone, keys, even lose change.”

  “Okay.”

  He looks at his watch, “You only have a couple minutes and they will start letting people in.”

  “Alright, thank you.” I deposit my belongings in my locker removing everything from my pockets then lock it up. Taking a seat in the waiting area, I look at the people surrounding me. A few people have been randomly chosen to undergo additional security checks, but I’m apparently not one of them. There are spouses or girlfriends here with their children to see a loved one, older people possibly a parent here to see their child and men with briefcases that have attorney written all over them. One lady holding a picnic basket gives me a smile. I’m guessing her basket items were approved and I belatedly wonder if I should have brought something for Ty.

  Finally, someone announces that visiting time is starting and we each take turns filing into the room where the prisoners are waiting for us. I look around the room and spot Ty quickly, his likeness to his sister makes me smile. It’s just enough to see that they’re twins but not too much to make it creepy like I’m lusting after a girl that looks like a guy. They have similarities but differences too.

  He looks surprised, curious and maybe even a little happy to see me here. Smiling, I walk over and shake his hand and pat him on the shoulder. “Ty. Good to see you, man. Sorry it’s under these circumstances.”

  “Jax, hi. How are you? I’m really surprised to see you. No offense, but what are you doing here?” He laughs at his own words, “Not that I’m not also happy to see you too. But how the hell did you know I’m here?”

  We each take a seat across the table from one another before I answer his last question, “Rowan told me.”

  “Rowan?” An anxious look crosses his face, “Please tell me that means you’ve seen her recently. I’ve been trying to call her the last couple days and she hasn’t been answering the phone. I’m trying not to worry, but it’s hard.”

  “Yes, I just saw her a week ago.”

  “How? I mean where did you see her? How do you know each other? I never got around to telling her about your gym and the fighting.”

  “Well… I bumped into her at the hospital emergency room.”

  Immediately his whole body tenses, his fists clench and a look of alarm crosses his face? “The emergency room? Is she okay? The baby?”

  “She’s okay. She was in the emergency room because she was in labor with Lily.”

  “Lily? It’s a girl?”

  A smile comes automatically to my face. “Yes, a girl. She named her Lily Rayn.”

  He smiles; his face full of joy at the thought of his niece, but it quickly falls, “So she and Lily are okay? I don’t understand where you come into this.”

  “Well like I said, I was in the emergency room,” I gesture to my stitches, “and as I was leaving the hospital, Rowan was rising out of her seat. When she stood up to get some help, because she had been sitting there by herself for three hours, she doubled over. She was having a contraction and I offered to help her. Uh, she never let go of my hand after that. When she gave her name to the nurses, I knew why she looked so familiar, and I told her I know you.” I look at the ground and blink a few times before looking at Tyson in the eyes. “She asked me to stay with her through the birth and I did. She told me she had no one else.”

  “What do you mean? Where was Jason?”

  I look at him in confusion, “Jason?”

  “The baby’s father. Where the hell was he?” He’s spitting the words through a jaw clenched so tight I swear I hear it grinding.

  “She wasn’t very forthright with information, but I got the feeling something bad happened. She was obviously troubled, scared and alone when I saw her. This Jason guy was never around. I even gave her a ride home from the hospital because she had no way to get there.”

  Tyson could start a fire with the heat in his eyes. He repeatedly taps the pinky finger of his right hand over and over on top of the table in agitation. My eyes keep dropping to his hand. “That son of a bitch must have done something to her. I knew he was no good. I knew it. And now here I am stuck in this hell hole and I can’t do shit to help her.”

  “I think…” I hesitate not sure if I should share my suspicions but sigh and then decide to be honest. “Considering she didn’t have a ride home, I got the feeling she was dumped there. I mean how else would she have gotten there? Unless she had taken a cab, but something tells me that’s not the case.”

  Tyson stands immediately in his anger and looks like he’s about to pace but a guard yells at him to sit down and he does so after a little hesitation and a glare at the guard for good measure. “I am going to kill him if he hurt her. Kill. Him.”

  “Look, I don’t know what happened. She didn’t open up to me about anything, like I said. I just know that when we talked about you it sounds like she doesn’t get to talk to you often. I have no idea how your phone calls work here man, I could just tell when she talks about you how much she misses you.” Before I can continue with the reason why I came, Ty interrupts.

  “I miss her too.” He looks down and puts his hands in his hair and pulls. When he looks back at me his jaw is tight and he clenches and unclenches his fists over and over. He appears to be working up to saying something so I stay silent and wait him out. “I’m so fucking angry at myself for getting locked up in this joint.” He looks away for a beat and then looks in my eyes. “Rowan and I have never been separated for more than two days at most. She’s my sister, yeah, but she’s my best friend too and I take my job as her protector very seriously and here I am locked the fuck up and not able to be there for her when she really needs me. And why? Because I can’t control my goddamn temper.”

  “Her protector? Why does she need a protector?”

  “Every woman should be protected and kept safe, man. But Rowan and me? We didn’t have a great childhood. Out dad split when he found out our mom was pregnant and let’s just say my mom never let us forget it. She said stuff to both of us our whole lives about it being our fault, but Rowan got it worst of all. I protected her when I was around, but the second we knew we were going to leave as soon as we could, I started working more to save money. Anyway, our mom would say shit to Rowan about her not being deserving of love and how she’ll always be alone. She did stuff that was really fucked up and unfortunately, it has really done a number on Row. She’s doesn’t trust people’s motives, ever. I think even if Jason beat the shit out of her she would have made excuses for him because she wants to prove our mom wrong. If Jason did what I think he did, I have no doubt Row is thinking that our bitch of a mother was right and that this is exactly her fate.”

  “That explains why she didn’t have a parent at the hospital with her.” I’d like to say that I don’t understand how a parent could treat a child that way but unfortunately, I understand that all too well.

  “Yeah well her sorry ass boyfriend, Jason, should have been there. I don’t know what’s going on there, but I intend to find out.”

  “What was their relationship like? Serious?” The thought makes me want to punch something.

  “He was a douche. I don’t think Row’s been honest with me about the way he treats her, but I picked up on stuff you know? Like how he never assisted her to stand, sit or anything when her belly started getting bigger. How he never put her first like opening a door for her, or letting her grab her food first when we made dinner. Just shit like that. He’s a
selfish prick and I have a feeling he was less than enthused when he found out Row was pregnant, but she would never tell me anything about it.”

  “You are now not the only one that would like to kill him.” He nods in understanding. “Well when she told me you were here, I was going to visit you no matter what, but I thought you’d especially appreciate knowing you have a niece, especially if you hadn’t found out yourself yet.”

  “I can’t thank you enough for coming here.” He looks down at the table for a minute and runs his hand over his face. “I need to ask you a favor regarding Rowan.” Raising my eyebrows at him, I nod letting him know I’m listening. “Look, like I said, things haven’t been easy for her and now if Jason’s bailed I’m really worried about her. I know she’s got to be stressed too with a new baby. Can you… I mean… would you mind keeping an eye on her until I get the hell out of this place? I’m counting down the days until I get out of here, but until then, I would feel so much better if I knew someone I know and trusted is keeping an eye on her.”

  “You got it, I’m happy to. Look, I’m just going to be honest. I like your sister, man. She’s left an impression and for whatever reason I feel protective of her, and Lily, myself so even if you hadn’t asked, I was already planning on looking out for them.”

  He stares at me for a minute, maybe trying to see if I’m sincere. I hold his look and don’t back down. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. Ty smiles at me and cocks his head to the side, “Just don’t hurt her, alright? I don’t want to have to kick your ass down the line.”

  I laugh out loud at that. “Noted.”

  We chat about MMA stuff, the upcoming fights and how he can’t wait to get out of there in a few months. Then, with another pat and handshake, I head out and go to the store to pick up some things for Rowan. I don’t know what kind of stuff Lily might need so I just load up on baby stuff - diapers, pacifiers, wipes, powder, some type of ointment, and take a guess at formula brand although I have no clue if she’s using it. I see a couple of cute stuffed animals and grab them too. I momentarily look at something called onesies and smile at some of the things they say and decide I need to order Lily one special for fighter fans. I even grab a couple of blankets. I have no clue about any of this shit, but hell, I would buy one of everything in this whole baby department if I could. I just want to help.