Fighting Envy

by Jennifer Miller

  Cole doesn’t look bothered by it though, and if he is, Dylan quickly puts him in his place. “Whatever, Levi. You looked like a goddamn fool in the octagon jumping around like a kangaroo on crack.”

  I laugh out loud and Cole smiles, but Levi frowns for a moment before he shrugs his shoulders. “Dude. That’s called skill.”

  Rolling my eyes, I look over at Ryder. He and Zane are chatting until his attention is diverted by a couple of blondes in bikinis. Seriously, what is up with the bikinis? They start to walk by the door and look in on their way, they stop when they see Ryder, and giggle. Ryder totally leaves Zane midsentence in order to flirt with the girls. I’m quite entertained by these boys and their antics.

  It isn’t long before Jax comes back in the room fresh out of the shower, his hair glistening with moisture, dressed in jeans and a white MMA t-shirt and smelling edible. I don’t know what cologne he wears, but I need to find out and spray it all over my pillows. And my blankets. And my couch, maybe? Possibly just everywhere. It’s captivating.

  “Are you ready to go?” He walks to me and puts an arm around my shoulders.

  Zane interrupts, “To Fred and Blarney’s like usual?”

  “Fred & Blarney’s?” I ask

  “It’s an Irish pub and grill we usually hit up after every fight. They stay open really late,” Levi informs me while he jumps from foot to foot. Does he ever stop? Meanwhile, Jax is sighing next to me in irritation. I don’t think he intended to keep with tradition tonight. I hate that because of me he’s second-guessing whatever his normal routine would be with the guys. The last thing I would ever want is to come in-between their friendships.

  “That sounds great,” I reply with a smile at Jax.

  “You sure?” He whispers in my ear. “We can ditch them and go do our own thing.”

  “It’s okay. Besides, I could eat.”

  He kisses me on my forehead, “Yeah me too, but when we are done eating we are out of there babe, cool?”

  I nod, “Cool.”

  Dinner’s really fun. Sitting back and listening to Jax interact with his friends makes me feel an emotion I don’t know how to express because I’m not sure what it is. I just know I feel happy, safe and content. I love their camaraderie. They all discuss Jax’s fight and relive all their favorite moves Jax orchestrated and talk about strategy and things they’d like to work on in their training. I don’t mind the shoptalk, as I barely take my eyes off of Jax the whole time. I’m mesmerized by his every movement; his ever word. Truth is, as far as I’m concerned no one else is there. Jax keeps looking at me and each time he catches my eye he smiles.

  I’ve kept my hand on his thigh through most of dinner, but I keep inching it up bit by bit. He’s in the middle of a conversation with Dylan about another fighter right now and I decide to make it clear I’d like to leave. After all, I’ve finished my meal and he’s basically finished with his too, and he did say we wouldn’t stay long. “No, I heard that he was going to be fighting in Las Veg-“ he clears his throat in surprise, but somehow manages not to jump as my hand slides up his leg until I reach his hardness and stroke him. His eyes find mine and now it’s my turn to give him the smirk he’s always giving me.

  Jax takes a drink of water and Dylan having no clue what’s transpiring between us, continues as if Jax never stopped. “Las Vegas? Yeah, I heard that too. I guess they’re having some kind of fight night…” the rest of his words become insignificant as I lift an eyebrow at Jax, the look on my face clearly saying, “let’s go.”

  “Alright guys, Rowan and I are heading out. I’ll see you all when I see you.” Jax puts money on the table, stands, then immediately places himself behind my chair pulling it out for me, but I think also to cover up the bulge in his pants. He keeps me in front of him as we say goodbye to everyone and when Ryder, who we managed to pull away from his bikini babes after they exchanged numbers, hugs me a bit too long in a blatant attempt to irritate Jax once again, it works. Jax pushes Ryder off of me. “Alright playboy, go find your own girl. How many times do I have to tell you? This one’s mine.”

  We aren’t far from his place and when we walk inside, I immediately turn to him. “So, be honest. Are you too sore for us to-“

  “No,” he interrupts me and I barely take a breath before his mouth is immediately on mine. Knowing I should be careful, but not able to contain myself, I jump into his arms which causes him to take a step back as he braces my weight, then immediately turns around and pushes me against the door. My legs wrap around him making my skirt hike high on my hips, but I could care less. He rips his mouth from mine and kisses down my jaw, neck and collarbone.

  “Jax, I want you. Watching you fight, my name on your mouth guard, the kiss before you began. God, I’ve been turned on for hours.”

  He groans and grinds his hips into me as his lips return to mine, and I gasp in his mouth from the feeling of his hardness. The only thing that separates us from joining is the thin cloth of my panties. His hand reaches out and he flips the lock on the front door, then he makes his way down the hallway to his bedroom. When we’re through the door, he places me on the ground, and I immediately lift his shirt over his head taking it off, so I can place my lips to his chest. I place kisses all over him, even the bruise on his side before, standing on my toes to reach his tattoo better. I begin tracing it with my tongue, causing him to hiss with pleasure. I smile through my kissing and licking, but it falls when he pulls away and steps back.

  “I just need to tell you that you look totally hot in my sponsor shirt.” He smiles as he eyes me up and down.

  “That reminds me. I’m mad at you.”

  “Babe. You could have fooled me what with all the kissing and grinding. If that’s how you are when you’re angry, then I’m okay with it.”

  “I’m serious. How could you not tell me that you were headlining the event tonight? And not only that, you’re like some big time fighting God.” He laughs and I glare making him try to stop, but he sucks at it. “You have your own t-shirts!” I pull mine away from my body like he needs evidence of my declaration.

  “It’s not a big deal. And I’m definitely not a ‘big time fighting God’.”

  “Not a big deal? How can you say that? Do you need me to show you my t-shirt again?”

  He shrugs, “Because it isn’t. I didn’t want any of that shit to influence the way you feel about me.” He looks at me and suddenly the look I’m seeing in his eyes registers. He’s worried.

  Frowning, I step into him again and look into his eyes, holding his stare, making sure that he sees me clearly before I speak. “All that stuff doesn’t matter to me. I’m giving you a hard time because it was quite the shock, but it doesn’t have anything to do with whether or not I have feelings for you. It’s too late for that. I think it’s obvious I’ve had feelings for you before tonight. At least, I hope so.” My brow furrows now because I don’t know how or why he could think differently. “To make it clear, I have feelings for you because I like you. Not what you do for a living. You’re sweet, thoughtful, caring, funny, sexy as hell, intelligent, protective, and so much more. You set me on fire with just one thought, one touch.” He brushes his thumb across my cheek, “There’s fireworks, Jax. Besides, I think I know the exact moment I was a goner for you.”

  “You do?”

  “Well, I was already well on my way when you were so amazing at the hospital, I just didn’t know it yet. But I think the first time you kissed me on the forehead, I was yours.”

  He grins showing me his cute dimples, “You like it when I do that?”

  “No. I love it. It’s such a simple act that shows everything about you. I’ve fallen for you,” I declare simply.

  In answer he kisses me again claiming my lips with his own. He pulls away for a second, and whips my shirt over my head, then the tank top under it. He wastes no time getting rid of my bra too and as he places me on his bed, his lips close around one of my nipples. He sucks and teases, then leaves a trail of love bit
es as he makes his way to the next one giving it the same attention.

  “Jax, now. I want you now.”

  He stands to take off his clothes and while he does, I remove the rest of my own, then lay bare before him. When his body comes over the top of mine, the hair on my arms stands up anxious for the moment his skin touches mine. When it does, I sigh in pleasure. Taking me at my word, Jax doesn’t waste anymore time. He positions himself and enters me with a deep thrust. “Fuck,” Jax murmurs under his breath overcome with the feeling of our joining.

  His hips push into mine over and over and my hips rise to meet him each time. I drag my nails down his back and throw my head back in ecstasy. “So good. It feels so good,” I sigh. After a few more strokes, he surprises me by flipping me onto my stomach. Immediately, I know what he wants, so I get on all fours, shaking my ass enticingly back and forth.

  He teasingly gives it a smack, “Tease,” he admonishes. Then he runs the head of his erection over my opening before easing back into me nice and slow. Once I adjust to the new feeling of fullness, he grabs my hip with one hand, and wraps his other hand around me to rub my clit. He pumps into me, matching the movements with his fingers. It only takes a minute at most before I’m coming so hard I see stars and scream his name.

  “You might want to hang on for this,” Jax informs me and I laugh and place my hands, palms down, on the headboard. With one hand still on my hip, he reaches the other into my hair and grabs a handful. He pounds into me so hard, his hips smack into my ass making a loud slapping sound. Immediately, another orgasm starts to unfurl in my belly shocking me. His balls slapping against my clit with his movements stimulate me, as well as his thrusts inside.

  “Oh fuck, Jax. I’m coming! I’m coming again.” I announce as I clench around him tightly. With a loud groan Jax yells, “Rowan!” and empties himself inside of me. After removing himself he sits on the side of the bed and pulls me into his arms. I melt when he kisses my forehead and whispers, “I’ve fallen for you too.”

  My heart soars.

  These few days since my fight have been good ones. The soreness in my muscles is much better and my bruises are already changing colors from purple and blue, to yellow and green, as they fade. This last weekend with Rowan was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a really long time. I’ve been replaying it in my mind over and over. Surprisingly, winning the fight has hardly crossed my mind. Rather, I can’t stop thinking about her. It makes me happy, if not a bit taken back, that Rowan has easily become the most important thing to me – and has easily taken the place of other things.

  When I woke up the morning after winning, Rowan had already left. She called a cab to get home choosing not to wake me. I know she needed to get back to Lily but her absence created a heavy feeling of loss and I found that I hated it with a passion. So, I quickly employed a solution. As soon as I showered and ate something, I was out the door and at her place standing on her doorstep. She was surprised to see me, but let me in right away. I’d like to think she was missing me as much as I was already missing her. I’m finding that I hate it when I’m not with her. I crave her companionship like an addict does his drug of choice.

  When I arrived, she’d just hung up the phone with Ty. He’d called to tell her the specifics of his release and to make arrangements for her to pick him up. She was ecstatic and shyly asked me if I would go with her and Lily to get him. I was flattered that she’d think to ask me, and would want me to go, so I immediately agreed.

  Now, a couple days later, we are sitting in my truck, waiting for Tyson to walk out the door of the jail. Rowan’s knee is bouncing and she’s hardly able to sit still, squirming in her seat and staring out the window.

  Placing a hand on her bouncing knee, I squeeze around the knee cap making her jerk it away and laugh. Then I ask her a rhetorical question. “Are you nervous?”

  She looks at my hand, then at me, and smiles with a touch of embarrassment. “Yeah, I guess I am. I haven’t seen him in a while, and our conversations have all been quick and much the same these last few months. He asks how I am, and if I have enough money. There’s really no time to get into anything else.”

  “I’m sure it will feel like you pick up right where you left off though. Don’t worry,” I tell her and hope it helps.

  “You’re right. I just know he’s going to ask questions that I’m nervous about answering.” She sighs and looks out the window for a beat before returning her gaze to me, smiling, “I am really excited for him to finally meet Lily though.”

  Looking in my rearview mirror at the car seat, I see little socked feet kick at the air as if the little one inside is just as excited to meet her uncle as her mom is to introduce her. “He’s your brother and he loves you, he’s only going to ask because he cares. Besides, I’m sure there isn’t anything that you can’t tell him.”

  She gives me a saucy look as her eyes travel over my body and she licks her lips, “Want to bet, sexy?”

  I bark out a laugh, her sassy mouth taking me by surprise. “Okay, then. I will rephrase. I’m sure that you can tell him most anything anyway.”

  She smiles, “You’re right. He has always been my best friend and I know that no matter what, he doesn’t judge me. I just want him to be happy and stress fee. Not angry the second he gets home.”

  “He’ll be fine, babe. Don’t borrow trouble. And, if he’s not fine, I’ve gotta tell you, that’s not your problem. You aren’t responsible for the actions and feelings of your brother.”

  “I know, but I don’t want to be the catalyst, either.”

  “I get that, but you can’t let the possibility of his reactions influence the way you treat him, or talk to him. You should always be one hundred percent you. If you aren’t, and you censor yourself all the time, your relationship with him will become strained and disingenuous. He doesn’t want that, and neither do you. If you can’t be yourself with him, then that’s a big problem. He’s one person you should always be able to be yourself with. Trust in him and in your love for each other.”

  She leans over and kisses me on the lips. It’s sweet and soft, “How did you get so smart?”

  I want to prove how smart I am by deepening the kiss, but when a figure catches my eye over her shoulder, I decide now is not the time. Nodding my head towards Ty, Rowan catches the gesture and spins in her seat. As soon as she sees him walking out of the building, she gasps in excitement, gets out of the truck, and starts running to him. He drops his bag on the sidewalk and runs to her too. They meet half way and he twirls her around in his arms. Her head is thrown back in laughter and I can hear the tinkling sound of it from here. When he sets her down, he’s grinning ear to ear, and kisses her on the head. He quickly backtracks to his bag, then catches up to her again and throws an arm over her shoulder. The affection they have for one another is obvious.

  As they walk towards the truck, I get out and come around the front in order to greet him. Seeing them side-by-side makes their likeness, as well as their differences, apparent. They have the same dark hair, hazel eyes and smiles. But, Tyson’s nose is a little crooked, maybe from being broken, and he doesn’t have the same freckles across his nose Rowan does. There are other subtle differences, but those are the most obvious.

  Stepping forward I hold out a hand, “Good to see you again, Ty.”

  “You too, Jax. Thanks for coming with Rowan to pick me up. It’s nice to see you two together.”

  “Rowan’s been anxious to see you.”

  “Let me guess… she was bouncing her knee like crazy, huh?”

  I laugh, “You got it.”

  “Um, hello. I’m standing right here!”

  Ty and I laugh, and he tells me how she’s always had that nervous habit, but his laugh breaks off when he turns to Rowan in his laughter and sees she’s taken Lily out of her car seat. He sets eyes on her for the first time, and the sight is nothing less than moving. Once again his bag is dropped and forgotten as the sweet girl in front of him takes all his focus. Lil
y reaches out and pulls on Rowan’s hair and gurgles. Ty’s face is lit up with love and adoration.

  “She’s gorgeous, Row, just gorgeous. I mean, I knew she would be, but seeing her in person is… well it’s better than I imagined. Can I hold her?”

  Rowan has tears in her eyes and swallows hard before nodding. Her eyes haven’t left Ty as he takes in the sight of her daughter. Putting Lily in his arms, we both watch as Ty places a kiss on her head. Smiling at her when she reaches out and grabs his nose, he laughs and says, “Hi, beautiful. I’m your Uncle Ty or Uncle Tyson since your mom always calls me Tyson you probably will too. I am so, so, happy to meet you. I’m sorry I haven’t been around for a few months, but I promise I’m going to make it up to you.”

  As if Lily knows what he’s saying to her, she gives him a big gummy smile. While Tyson is smiling and completely enamored with her, he has tears in his eyes. “Row, she’s amazing.”

  “I know she is.”

  “And she looks like you.”

  I laugh, “She looks like both of you.”

  They both look at me and laugh. “Yeah, I guess so,” Ty says. “Wow.”

  “Come on,” Rowan says. “Let’s get you home. I don’t know what you might want to eat, but I stocked up on your favorites at the store.”

  “Oh, did you buy nutty bars?”

  She smiles, “Yes, I got you two value pack boxes.”

  “Awesome! I love me some nutty bars.”

  “I know,” Rowan laughs and looks at me, “Tyson’s a chocolate and peanut butter addict.”

  He shrugs, “No two things are better together. Well except maybe you and me, Row. Damn, I missed you.”