Ray of Life

by E. L. Todd

  How was your day? It didn’t matter how trivial her afternoon was. It was interesting to me.

  Good. I finally went to the gym.

  Yeah? I smiled when I pictured her running on a treadmill. How’d it go?

  I remembered how much I hate the gym. It’s so hot, all the girls are dressed in their super cute workout clothes while I’m wearing my old MIT t-shirt, and the meat heads are more into themselves than the chicks.

  Wow. I can feel your anger. Maybe you should try jogging outside or something.

  In one hundred-degree weather?

  At least you’ll burn more calories.

  Are you saying I need to burn more calories?

  I grinned. You know I think you’re absolutely perfect. My dick thinks so too.

  The dots stopped.

  I probably shouldn’t have said that, but I didn’t feel bad about it. It was the truth and we both knew it.

  I took my stupidity to a new level. Miss you.

  Three dots lit up the screen. Miss you too.

  I loved seeing those words. I read them three times in a row.

  When are you going to be home?

  Next week.

  What are you going to do to keep yourself busy?

  Knowing Rae, she was going to force me to hang out with her and the gang. Work. Eat. Gym.

  No video games?

  I don’t have my gear with me, unfortunately.

  Well, I’m always here if you want to chit chat.

  There was no one else I loved to chit chat with more. Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll let you go to sleep now. I know it’s late.

  Goodnight.

  Goodnight, sweetheart.

  4

  Austen

  I was walking on my treadmill desk in my black dress and running shoes. The outfit clashed, but I couldn’t wear heels on the machine, so I had to switch out my shoes. People could make fun of me all they wanted. I didn’t care how goofy I looked.

  “Austen?” Vanessa rapped her knuckles on the open door.

  “What’s up?” I kept my face forward and typed my email at the same time.

  “A man named Nathan is here to see you. Wants to know if you want to get lunch.”

  My hand smacked against the stop button. “He’s here? Right now?”

  “In the lobby.”

  The adrenaline spiked in my chest, and I felt my hands shake. Nathan still made me nervous when he caught me off guard. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and swirled around, making me tense and nauseous.

  Vanessa continued to stand there. “So…what should I tell him?”

  “Uh, tell him I’ll be right there.”

  She left.

  I shut my laptop and quickly grabbed my purse. I checked my face in my compact and realized my makeup still looked fresh and my hair wasn’t a mess from being on the treadmill. I walked into the lobby and saw him sitting in one of the large white chairs.

  He smiled when he saw me and stood up. “Glad you’re free.” His eyes left my face and moved downward until they fixated on my feet. One of his eyebrows raised, and he suppressed a smile. “Is this in style now or what?”

  I looked down at my red running shoes, realizing I never took them off. “Oh shit. I’ll be right back.”

  “It’s fine,” he said with a laugh. “I don’t care. It’s just an interesting choice.”

  I tried to hide my embarrassment. “I work on a treadmill desk, so I change into these throughout the workday.”

  “Oh, now it makes sense.”

  “I’ll be right back.” I darted back into my office, feeling like a moron for forgetting something so critical. I slipped on my black heels and walked back out, feeling uncomfortable but looking nice.

  Nathan eyed my shoes. “Those match a little better. But I think I prefer the others more.”

  “They are more comfortable.” I adjusted my purse and we stepped into the elevator together.

  “So, what are you in the mood for?”

  “Anything, honestly.”

  “Tacos?”

  “I could eat tacos anywhere, anytime.” They were one of the greatest inventions of humanity.

  “Me too.”

  We walked a few blocks before we entered the shop and ordered our food. We took a seat with our drinks, and they brought our trays a moment later.

  Nathan only got two tacos and skipped the cheese and the sour cream, trying to watch his waistline.

  I ordered four and didn’t give a damn. I was surprised Ryker’s dick liked my figure so much. “How’s work?”

  “Pretty good. We’re working on a new IT logo for this company out of California. A winery.”

  “How’d it turn out?”

  “When you have too many cooks in the kitchen, it’s always a slow start. But we’ll get there. What about you?”

  “I’m trying to get a hold of this guy who went viral for choreographing a dance with his two bulldogs. I thought he could be a great indirect sponsor. People always go for the big advertisements, like newspapers and magazines. But since people know those are advertisements, they aren’t as effective. It’s gotta be subliminal.”

  “Like Coke or Pepsi?” he asked. “How they make you want a Coke rather than just convincing you to buy a Coke?”

  “Exactly.” Since Nathan and I were in the same line of work, we had something to talk about.

  “Good thing I got a Pepsi today.” He took a drink. “Now I’m really craving one.”

  “Man, I love soda. I only allow myself to have one a day…even though I usually slip.”

  “Life is short. Drink the soda.” He tapped his Styrofoam cup against mine before he took a drink.

  “You’re very wise.” Any excuse to drink an extra soda was a good one for me.

  “I know,” he said with a handsome smile.

  I still loved those sparkling eyes and nice smile. He had a hard jaw lightly covered with hair, and I missed running my fingers across it as I kissed him. The longer I stared at him, the more I felt my attraction grow. When Nathan and I were together, I didn’t just love him—I was infatuated with him.

  Nathan caught my look and stared at me back. “What?”

  Maybe I was making it obvious. “Nothing.” I grabbed a taco and took a bite.

  “You sure? You had this look on your face.”

  “I was thinking about how stupid I was for not changing out of my running shoes.” Ryker would get a kick out of that when I told him later.

  “I’ve done things much more embarrassing than that.”

  “I highly doubt it.” Nathan was meticulous and a perfectionist. His physique could easily be carved out of marble with a chisel. His apartment had always been spotless. He knew exactly how much money he had in his bank account at any given time. “Give me something specific.”

  “Uh…can’t think of anything off the top of my head.”

  “Trust me, if you did something really embarrassing, you would remember it.”

  “Alright.” He smiled. “I was just trying to make you feel better. You caught me.”

  “I knew it.” I shook my head before I kept eating.

  He finished one of his tacos then wiped his hands with a napkin. “Are you free tonight?”

  I was free almost every night. Madeline was tied up with Liam now, and Ryker and I weren’t seeing each other anymore. Jared was single now, so I could always hang out with him. We could have a hot wing eating contest, which we’d done many times. “Yeah. Got any ideas?”

  “How about we get dinner and watch a movie?”

  That was definitely a romantic date. I said I would give Nathan another chance, but we’d only hung out here and there. We never really had a true date. Everything had been casual since our situation was so strained. I had no reason not to say yes, so I went for it. “Sure.”

  He didn’t smile, but his eyes showed his excitement. “Great. I’ll make the reservations.”

  “Good. I’m not much of a planner.”

  He
chuckled. “I remember.”

  We ordered a bottle of wine and made small talk over candlelight. The place was fancy for a mid-week meal, but I didn’t make any jokes about it. Nathan wanted to take me somewhere nice, and I wouldn’t tease him about it.

  He looked good in his collared shirt and slacks. It fit tightly across his shoulders and waist, showing the musculature. Ryker’s body was similar, packed with lean and tight muscle, but Nathan was a little thicker. I shouldn’t compare the two men, but it was difficult not to.

  The thought of Ryker made me wonder if he was hanging out with Rae again. I was jealous of a woman I’d never met, and I shouldn’t be. She picked someone else over him, so she was clearly a moron. I shouldn’t care in the least.

  But I did.

  Nathan stared at me from across the table, looking devilishly handsome now that he shaved his face. He got his rugged good looks from his father and his pretty eyes from his mother. I could see his features in both of their faces. I wondered how they would react if they knew we were seeing each other again. They seemed to like me when I was dating their son, but I wasn’t sure if that had changed.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked.

  “Uh…your parents.” I chuckled because the response was just as weird as it sounded.

  “Well, whatever does it for you.”

  “I was thinking about how handsome you look, and I remembered you look a lot like your parents.”

  He smiled. “Well, thank you. I think you look like your mom, just a lot prettier.”

  I felt my chest tighten at the compliment, the air leaving my lungs. He still made my heart soar no matter what kind of compliment he gave me. “Thanks…”

  My phone vibrated in my purse from the chair next to me. I heard it shake against the wood and noticed the light that came on in my peripheral vision. It was rude to look at your phone on a date, so I ignored it.

  But I did wonder if it was Ryker.

  Nathan and I talked about the marathon he was running in a few weeks and how much money he’d raised for charity. He had a big heart when it came to things like that. It made me wonder how he got so mixed up with Lily in the first place since it didn’t match his personality at all.

  My phone vibrated again.

  It probably was Ryker, wondering what I was doing tonight. Last night, I lay in bed at one in the morning and continued to talk to him. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t close my eyes and end the conversation. No matter what the subject was, I wanted us to keep talking.

  Our dinner was brought a moment later, and my phone vibrated again.

  This time, Nathan said something. “I’m not going to be offended if you check your phone.”

  Since he noticed, I was obviously distracted enough that I may as well look. I opened my clutch and pulled out my phone.

  All the messages were from Ryker.

  What are you doing?

  He sent a picture of him and his mom at the harbor. She had the same dark brown hair and the same colored eyes, but that was the only features they had in common. It was ironic that Nathan and I were just talking about our parents, and Ryker was hanging out with his. I took my mom to dinner.

  My eyes softened as I looked at the picture, seeing the soft side of Ryker that he hardly ever showed. Something about him hanging out with his mom was adorable.

  Are you at the gym? He inserted a happy face.

  I wanted to write back but I knew I shouldn’t. I would get in the middle of a long conversation that would never end. That would be really rude to Nathan, to talk to a guy I used to fool around with…and missed fooling around with.

  “Everything okay?” Nathan asked.

  “Yeah. People are just blowing up my phone with nonsense.” I turned it on silent then placed it back in my clutch.

  Nathan wasn’t as playful as he was a moment ago. He drank his wine then looked away.

  I wondered if he assumed it was Ryker.

  Since it was him, I wouldn’t deny it. That would be a lie. “This wine is good.”

  He cleared his throat. “Yeah…pretty good.”

  The moment I walked into his apartment, it felt like his personal space. The tones of gray and black fit his personality perfectly. Most of his furniture had been changed since he lived with me, so he must have redecorated at some point. “Your place is nice.”

  “Thanks.” He walked into the kitchen and poured two glasses of wine. “Can I get you anything else? Popcorn?”

  I rubbed my big stomach. “I’m so full.”

  “Maybe in ten minutes?” he teased.

  I rolled my eyes and sat on the couch.

  He sat beside me and placed the glasses on the table. “What movie do you want to watch?”

  “You know I’m not picky.”

  “How about Billy Madison?”

  He remembered that was my favorite movie. “You know I can’t say no to a classic like that.”

  He smiled then turned it on. All the lights were off, so only the glow from the screen filled the apartment. He sat beside me and didn’t touch me, but I was aware of how close we were to each other.

  He placed his arm over the back of the couch, resting it against my neck. His skin was warm to the touch, and my breathing hitched slightly at his proximity. I crossed my legs and gripped my glass of wine by the stem.

  I was so nervous.

  I knew what was going to happen during the movie, but I still felt anxiety. I’d kissed Nathan a million times, so I shouldn’t be worried, but the butterflies in my stomach had grown to the size of dragons. Fire-breathing dragons.

  Nathan didn’t make his move right away. He gave me a false sense of security by watching the movie for thirty minutes and laughing at the best parts.

  I sipped my wine and continued to grip it like a life preserver.

  Eventually, Nathan pulled the glass from my hand and placed it on the coffee table.

  I knew it was coming.

  He leaned back again and turned his body so his hand could move into my hair. He moved slowly, but it felt like everything was passing at the speed of light. He leaned into me and pressed his mouth to mine.

  It felt nice.

  His lips were soft but strong, commanding my mouth with their power. His thumb brushed against my cheek as he kissed me slowly.

  My mouth moved with his as my hand inched up his chest. I felt the strong muscles of his body and tightened my thighs together as the chemistry swept through me. He was just as great of a kisser as he’d always been.

  He breathed into my mouth before he gave me some of his tongue. He was an excellent kisser, knowing exactly when to push and when to pull. He could feel my passion through his lips and gave me exactly what I craved.

  He kissed me harder and dug his fingers into my hair, getting a strong grip on me. His tongue danced with mine and he breathed with me, our mutual arousal building and becoming stronger.

  The movie was forgotten.

  As much as I enjoyed the physical chemistry between us, I didn’t want it to go any further than this. I wasn’t ready to sleep together. It was too soon for that. I hoped Nathan realized that and didn’t push things.

  He guided me down to the couch and moved on top of me, his powerful frame suspended over me.

  The movement was so fluid that I didn’t stop it, but I didn’t want it to lead to anything more serious. “Nathan—”

  “I know.” He broke our kiss and rubbed his nose against mine. “We’ll take it slow.”

  5

  Ryker

  You wanna play ball with us? Rae texted me at the end of the workday.

  I knew she would pester me to hang out with them, even though being around her was difficult for me. Zeke wasn’t too far behind, so that made it worse.

  When I didn’t respond right away, she texted me again. We’re meeting at the courts right after work.

  I finally wrote her back. I’ll make the teams uneven.

  No, you’ll make them even. Tobias likes to play.
Jessie is getting really big and doesn’t like to move much.

  Damn, I walked right into that. I already have plans.

  Shut up. If you don’t show up, we’ll come looking for you.

  I knew better than to call her bluff. Fine.

  Great! See you then.

  I was spending my evenings with my ex, who I was still in love with, and her boyfriend. When did my life turn into this? Maybe I should just hang out with my mom again. I knew that would make her happy.

  After work, I went home and changed then walked down to the basketball courts. I checked my messages and was a little hurt Austen never wrote me back. When I didn’t see those dots light up the screen, I knew she was busy.

  And she was probably busy with Nathan.

  That was the worst part of all. If she was busy working late or hanging out with her friends, I wouldn’t care. But knowing she was out with Nathan, or even worse, home with Nathan, made my stomach boil in acid.

  I shouldn’t care.

  After all, I was the one who encouraged her to make it work with him.

  Because I was a stupid idiot.

  I was still in love with Rae, so I had my own problems.

  But it still hurt.

  I arrived at the courts and watched Rex make his practice shots. Kayden watched him with her arms crossed over her chest, clearly not into the sport like he was. She was only there because it made him happy.

  The dogs were tied to the basketball pole, sitting up with their ears perked with interest. Razor sniffed Safari’s butt, and Safari growled at him so he would stop.

  Rae talked to Zeke by the bench while she drank from her water bottle. She wore black leggings and a fitted top, her slender curves highlighted in the tight clothing.

  I joined the gang. “Whose team am I on?”

  When Rae saw me, she smiled like she was genuinely happy to see me. I used to get a different look from her all the time when she was in love with me. It made me sad to know I would never be the recipient of that look again—only Zeke would. “Depends. Has your game gotten rusty?”

  “Never.”

  “I’m first captain.” Rex tucked the ball under his arm.