Secrets or Surrender

by Mary Tribbey

  Chapter 22

  Once in the car, they both seemed to be unable to speak freely. Dave kept praying that Joan would open up and tell him about George. Joan was feeling guilty because she had still not told Dave where she actually lived. There was no way to tell him now without having to explain more than she could afford to say. It would be easier to make a clean break if he didn’t know where to find her.

  When they pulled up in front of the Lincoln Arms Apartment building, Joan hopped out of Dave’s car. Dave got out and retrieved her suitcase. When he handed it to her, their hands brushed. That same feeling of electrical energy jolted both of them.

  “Do you want me to walk you to your apartment? I hate saying good night out here in the street," Dave said.

  No,” she said quickly. “It’s too late and my place is a mess. I’ll talk to you after work. In my evening time, I’ll be working on your article. I’ll let you know how it is going. When it is finished, I’ll give you a call,” she said.

  “When will I see you again?” Dave asked.

  “I don’t know. Between work each day and working on the article at night, I won’t have much free time. I know you have two away games in a row, so I won’t see you at the games. Let’s just leave it open. You know how to call me at work and at home. Thank you again, Dave, for the most wonderful week of my life,” Joan said.

  Dave put his arms around her and hugged her close. “I don’t want to let you go, Joan. I feel so happy when you’re around. I’ll be calling you, but I want to see you, too. This isn’t goodbye. It is ‘I’ll see you later’.” He said before kissing her tenderly and then he watched her walk away.

  Dave slowly started his car and drove back to his home. It was so dark and lonely when he went inside, he felt like turning around and bringing Joan back to stay with him. He cursed angrily when he realized, she wouldn’t be at that apartment building, and he didn’t know how to find her.

  Joan called a taxi and waited until it picked her up. She felt totally sad and lonely. She knew she wouldn’t be seeing Dave again, not after the article was finished. After the luxury of the hotels she had stayed in or the beautiful spaciousness of his house, her apartment seemed so tiny and empty. She unpacked her suitcase, laid out clothes for work the next day, and got ready for bed. “Good night, Dave,” she whispered, “I love you and I always will, but we can’t be together again.” She buried her head in her pillow, and then she cried herself to sleep.

  When Joan arrived at work the next day, there was a bouquet of pink roses on her desk. Mr. White welcomed her back. He told her they had finished the inventory, and he had all the numbers to give her. She took the papers from him and sat down at her desk. She noticed a card tucked in the flowers. With shaking hands, she opened it and read, “Thanks for everything. I hope your day goes well. I’ll talk to you tonight. Please give these tickets to your boss; I forgot to give them to you before you left. Love, Dave”

  Joan walked into her boss’s office. She handed him the envelope with the Ram tickets, and said, “Dave asked me to give these tickets to you personally and thank you again for giving me the time off to work on the article.”

  “Thanks, Joan. How was your trip?” he asked.

  “It was hectic. We covered a lot of places and interviewed several people, but it was also fun and interesting. We went to Florida and Washington. It was the trip of a lifetime for me, but it’s good to be home again. I still have a lot of work to do before the article is finished. I’m glad you were able to get the inventory finished. I’ll get busy on the figures and reports. Thanks again,” Joan replied.

  After work, Joan hurried home anxious to get started on the article. Joan looked through her notes and reviewed the information in Dave’s scrapbook. She started slowly separating the information into small groups of related information, looking for a theme to tie all of the facts together. One thing impressed her as she finished re-reading everything. “That’s it!” she exclaimed. “It’s certainly not a new idea, but all his accomplishments seem to revolve around this statement by Coach Thompson, ‘Basically, Dave Allen is a good person who has become successful by hard work, making good choices, and treating all people with respect’. That might be the best focus for the article. Everyone who follows sports already knows his stats and what he has done on the playing field. This article will help them understand who he is and how he reached the level of success that he has achieved.”

  Once Joan had the theme, she began putting the facts in logical order. She began with a short section on his family and background. Coach Thompson’s recollections would help explain his early success. His choice of college and what he did on and off the field, his work with the Special Olympics, Children’s Hospital, and Veterans, his educational choices, and his relationships with players and others. These things were going to be the basic ingredients of the article.

  When the phone rang about 8 o’clock, Joan answered and heard Dave’s voice. “Hello,” she answered.

  “Hi, Joan. How did your first day back at work go? Did you remember to give Mr. White the tickets?” he asked.

  “Everything was fine. They got the inventory finished, and I got most of the data compiled. My boss was so excited when I gave him the tickets. He is really a fan of yours. Also, thanks for the beautiful roses. I’m getting spoiled. Each bouquet has been a different color. What are you going to do when you run out of colors?” Joan laughed.

  “I guess I’ll just have to start over again or maybe I’ll mix them all together, like a floral rainbow,” he laughed. “Did you want to go get something to eat or drink? I’m sure you already ate, but how about some dessert?” he asked.

  “Your favorite dessert or some ice cream?” she asked teasingly.

  “Either, or both, I just hoped to see you tonight. I think I’m having Joan withdrawals,” he moaned.

  “I’m working on your article and I think I’ve figured out a plan. It is a little late to get together, but tell me what the doctor said?” she inquired.

  “Well, my shoulder isn’t healed, but he did allow me to begin light practice on Wednesday. I need to be very careful and take it easy, but I might be able to play a little in next week’s game in Houston. If you don’t want to go out, can I come over and see you for a while?” he asked.

  “How about a rain check? I’ve got a good start on the article, and I want to keep at it while I’m making progress. Besides, we just saw each other yesterday evening,” Joan protested.

  “It seems longer ago than that. Well, I guess I just have to stay here all by myself,” he said with his pouty voice.

  “I’m sorry you are feeling so lost and lonely, but our trip is over, and we are both back at work. I’ll call you when I have more done on the article. Sleep well, Dave,” she said before hanging up.

  Joan’s life fell back into her normal routine. Work during the day, go home and fix a light dinner, read or work on an article, and then go to bed. Even though she kept herself busy, she missed seeing and being around Dave. Her thoughts and dreams were filled with him, but she forced herself to pull back away from him. When he called, she talked briefly with him, but didn’t go to see him. He seemed hurt by her not agreeing to see him, but she stuck to her plan to avoid being physically close to him.

  He left for Houston for practice before the game, but he still called her in the evening. When Joan answered the phone, she smiled to hear his voice. Despite everything, she knew she still loved him, but she was determined to break connections with him. It was safer for her, and it might allow him to concentrate on winning the woman he loved.

  When he came home from the Houston game, he called her. The game had not gone well, although they had managed to win. He had been on the sidelines most of the game. He went in for ten plays, mostly handing the ball off and protecting his throwing arm.

  “It is awful having to stand by the sidelines and watch. It was so hard not
being able to play, but after ten plays, I could feel my shoulder was getting sore again. I wish you’d let me come and see you. I could use a shoulder treatment,” he said hopefully.

  “Dave, you know I have to work tomorrow. It’s too late and too much trouble for you to have to come and pick me up and then bring me home. If you promise to be a good boy,” she said, “I’ll drive over and give you a treatment. That’s the best offer I can make tonight,” she suggested.

  “That’s the best offer I’ve had since we got back from Florida, and I’ll gladly take it. I’ll turn on the porch light. I’ll be here waiting for you. Thanks, Joan, I really want to see you.”

  Joan kicked herself mentally for being so weak and agreeing to come to Dave’s house. She knew it was a mistake, but she wanted so much to see him also. She drove over to his house, parked near the front door, and knocked.

  Dave opened the door and smiled broadly. “What took you so long?” he asked teasingly.

  “Sorry, they lowered the speed limit and I stopped at the grocery store and washed my hair before coming over,” she laughed. “It’s been less than 3o minutes since you called me at home.”

  He pulled her inside and hugged her tenderly. “I know, but it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. It is so good to see you again. I have really missed you. Thanks for driving over here. I appreciate it.”

  “Where do you want me to give you the treatment? Since it relaxes you and makes you sleepy, do you want to lie down in your bed? That way you can go right to sleep,” Joan suggested.

  “That would be wonderful.”

  They walked down the hallway and entered Dave’s bedroom. Joan helped him remove his shirt, and then she went to the kitchen to get some ice cubes. When she got back, Dave was stretched out on his bed. Joan sat down next to him. She put the ice pack on his shoulder and began moving it slowly over the sore area. After a few minutes, she squeezed the sports cream into her hand and began gently massaging it into his skin.

  Dave turned his head so he could watch her. “If I were a cat, I’d be purring,” he sighed. “Your touch is magical. I don’t want you to ever stop touching me,” he said honestly.

  Joan blushed, “If you were a cat, I’d probably be sneezing. Sorry, but I am a little allergic to cats. I hope that helps you relax and get some good rest. I hope you are feeling better very soon. I’d better let you rest and go home.”

  Dave grabbed her hand. He sat up and pulled her against him. “Please, Joan, don’t leave. Stay here with me tonight. I need you. I want to make love to you,” he pleaded.

  Joan tried to get up, but he pulled her down onto his lap and began kissing her hungrily. His tongue entered her mouth and he kissed her fiercely. Joan felt herself falling into his spell. When she heard him say, ‘I need you’, it brought her back to her senses. She pushed him away and stood up. With a moan, she grabbed her purse and dashed out to her car. Before he could stop her, she drove away sobbing.

  “He needs me, does he? He’s in love with someone else, but he needs me! I can’t take this any longer. I have to stay away from him. I don’t know if I have enough strength to do it, knowing he is so close and wants me. I may have to move far away from him or I may lose myself again,” she cried as she drove home.

  When Joan walked into her apartment, the phone was ringing. She checked the caller id. It was Dave, but she couldn’t face talking to him feeling so hurt. She reached down and unplugged the receiver. She went to bed and cried herself to sleep. All night she tossed and turned with her emotions in turmoil.