Love Without End

by Alyvia Paige

  “Han, hello? You there? HAN!?”

  “Oh sorry babe, just thinking. I’m sorry.” I apologizing and it dawns on me that I probably should have started last week and begin to worry my lip.

  “Han, how late are you?” he asks quietly and cautiously.

  “A week maybe,” I rush out the answer in hopes of changing the topic. “So, did we win the game?”

  “Yes, we won,” he starts laughing then continues, “Han, get in the car and drive to the drug store. Keep me on the line, grab a test and tomorrow morning you can take it.”

  “Carter, seriously it’s okay. I’ll handle it later, tell me the highlights, and make me feel better.” I whine.

  “NOW, Hannah Grace! You will go get the test, and tomorrow morning we will Skype while you pee, and then wait together for the results. Together. Apart, but together.” He sighs and I instantly feel the stress and worry rolling off each word.

  We stayed on the phone until Hannah fell asleep, and I ended the call. I wish I were there with her and not limited to these stupid fucking phones to connect us. Nonetheless, we will find out this morning if our weekend of irresponsibility will possibly change the course of our lives. I called off work today, there is no way I will not be one hundred percent available to her, no matter if this test comes back positive or negative. I check my phone after my shower to see a missed text.

  Hannah – Hey. Called off work, going to pharmacy. Will call you as soon as I get home. I love you.

  After reading the text, I head into the kitchen, cell in tow, and grab a banana off the counter and start a cup of coffee. My cell begins to ring as I’m adding sugar to my coffee, seeing it’s Tracie; I answer quickly, worried she may need something. I love that Hannah’s parents have kept me included in their life, my parents are still on the road traveling, expecting to be home for the holidays, but no sooner. They bought a RV, or luxury house on wheels fit for a queen, as mom calls it. Quickly ending the call with Tracie, who was only calling to see if I knew why Hannah was behaving so weirdly this morning.

  My phone rings again but this time it’s Hannah – FaceTime. I smile as I swipe and see her face. She looks like shit and I think of telling her this, but think better of it. “Hey gorgeous, your mom just called to see why you were so grumpy,” I say with a cheesy smile on my face.

  “Carter, she calls every fucking morning, all sunshine and fucking rainbows since you got home. What did you tell her? Because she is beyond happy for Thanksgiving.” The eye roll she gives me causes me to chuckle as I watch her become frustrated while reading the pregnancy test box.

  “Han, open it, pee on it, wait. That is how they work.” She rotated the box to be in the frame of the phone camera so I could read the directions, I am sure, and I laugh again. “I’ve watched enough of your girly movies to know. But I see I am right. Are you tinkling, Banana? I can turn on the water!” I taunt her as she mumbles unintelligibly under her breath. Once she is done, she moves the box and washes her hands then picks me back up.

  “If you were here, I’d smack your smart ass.”

  “There’s that smile, beautiful girl. I know it’s stressful, but just try to envision me there, okay baby?” Her nod makes me feel infinitesimally better.

  “Alright Carter, I don’t want to look, how about you look and tell me what it says.” I think of what she is saying while staring into her eyes, they are full of fear but lingering with to what I feel is hope.

  “No, we look together. When you are ready, flip the screen. No matter what, we keep going. And Hannah?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” she breathes out as she flips the screen so that the camera is focused on the test and not on her, we both stay on the line in complete silence staring at the faint plus sign until she flips the screen back to her tear stained face. “Do you still love me? Are you still in this?” she whispers.

  “With every fucking fiber of my being, Hannah Grace. I will always love you,” I say with complete certainty. We continue talking until she falls asleep. I end the call session, and text her immediately following to call or text me when she wakes up.

  The six weeks seem to fly by, Hannah and I talk every chance we have, but tonight she has a dinner event at work that is being catered by none other than Brielle. I am sure you know how that came to fruition. Those two would bend every rule possible if it meant they could hang out or do something together, I swear. After cleaning up after work, I head over to the address Braydon gave me at the office to pick him up at his father’s place, rather than his own on the outside of Columbia. When I pull up, I am slightly taken aback; this is District Attorney Gibson’s house. Surely, I messed up the house numbers.

  Me – Dude, I think I fucked up the address

  I wait for him to respond and park alongside the curb thinking of how I possibly missed this connection. A Gibson kid caused Hannah’s accident, but the DA paid to keep it off the record. Hannah, Tracie and David agreed that it wasn’t worth ruining more lives over, but the mother fucker that hit her was completely off scot-free. Whichever of the three Gibson kids it was ruined parts of Hannah that I can never get back, I just hope to fuck it wasn’t the guy I consider one of my best friends.

  Braydon – Nope I see ya, be out in a minute

  The text pings back quickly, and my head is now spinning. Well fuck; I don’t know how I am going to let it go now. But wouldn’t Hannah have remembered? I jump out of the truck before he gets in and round the front of the truck.

  “Hey Bray, quick question,” I ask nonchalantly

  “What’s up man? You need me to drive?”

  “No, I’m good, but hey I just never...” I pause, raking a hand through my hair, “put two and two together with you being a Gibson and all.” I look over to his father sitting on the porch and back to him.

  “Yeah, just isn’t something I bring up.” He shrugs as if to explain himself.

  “Listen, I don’t mean to be a dick, but I need you to be straight up and answer me alright?” I absentmindedly continue to flex and ball my fists. “Do you know which of your family members hit Hannah two years ago, because before today, like I said, I never really put your name together with DA Gibson? Was it you? Because the more I fit the timing and details together, buddy, I’m just not getting a good feeling.” My voice is tight and controlled but I am seething with anger.

  “Carter, I…” he hesitates and I know it was him. That motherfucker! “Let’s talk about this calmly,” he suggests eyeing my flexing arms and hands. All I see is red, what the fuck happened to honest fucking people?

  “Are you fucking kidding me, Braydon? CALM? You embedded yourself into my fucking life and didn’t for a second think to mention you were the sorry ass motherfucker that struck Hannah, killing a part of the woman I love?” I see his father stand and begin to ascend down the stairs towards the end of the driveway. “You fucking prick, you went to Florida, stayed in her fucking house!” I spit

  “Carter, she knows who I am. I’m sorry for your pain and anger man, but what happened is in the past. Dude, I am sor” his words cut off by the connection of my balled up fist meeting the left side of his face. I tackle him to the ground and hit him three more times before being pulled back by his brother and dad.

  “You no good son of a bitch,” I seeth kicking him in the ribs before I round my truck, “stay the fuck away from me, my family, and anyone else that you think may be tied to me. I will fucking ruin you, and your cocksucker DA daddy won’t be able to save your sorry ass next time.” I turn the ignition and floor it out of there, no destination in mind, just drive.

  Arriving home a little after ten, I consider calling Carter, but remember he and Braydon were supposed to be going out tonight. Reflecting back it still surprised me that the two of them showed up here together, given the history of Braydon and me. I did my best to remain neutral, Carter’s visit was ultimately to put the past behind us, so I focused on that and assumed we were all on
the same page. Everyone deserves a second chance in life, and Carter himself proved just that.

  Smiling as I find myself in the kitchen, tossing the peel to my banana in the trash, I grab a bottle of water, make my way into the living room, and slide into the oversized plush leather chair and mumble, “Buckin’ fananas.”

  Carter – I love you. How are you feeling baby? Any morning sickness today?

  I see Carter’s message flash on my screen and smile, I suppose guys’ night ended early. I don’t waste any time and message him back.

  Me – I love you mostest. I was a little sick this morning but I’ll take it. I miss you, is it time for my visit yet?

  Carter – Fuck me, I wish baby. What are you doin?

  Me – Eating a banana. Potassium is good for the bean.

  I snap a selfie – a huge, banana-stuffed, smile plastered on my face – and text it as well.

  Carter – I needed to see that beautiful face. Bean? Is that what we are calling him?

  Me – LOL...her, and yes. Did you cancel your plans?

  Carter – Called it a night, shit went down, I went for a drive. I’m in Jefferson City.

  What the fuck? No more texting, time to talk, I hit the phone icon and he picks up instantly.

  “Hey,” he answers meekly.

  “Carter, what the fuck happened baby?”

  “Just had a few words with Braydon is all.”

  “What kind of words Carter?” I pry, I am beginning to realize maybe this is worse than I initially thought.

  “Han, I didn’t know. I promise I never would have brought him if I knew.” Carters voice breaks, and he sighs loudly. “I would not have brought him into your life again, I am so sorry baby.”

  “Carter, what didn’t you know,” I implore. “He is Braydon Gibson. Is that what you didn’t know? That he was THE Gibson?”

  “Han, why didn’t you say anything when we were in Florida?”

  “Carter, one you were not invited, two he was your guest, and three, everyone deserves a second chance right? I mean, I forgave him a long time ago, but I will never forget the impact he has placed in our lives.” I take a deep breath, hoping he understands.

  “Baby,” he breathes, “I am so sorry, I should have looked into him, I should have protected you.” He goes quiet and I just sit on the phone waiting for I don’t know what. After at least ten minutes passes, I check to see if the line is still active.

  “Carter, this isn’t your fault. This isn’t my fault. Life happened, and we will figure this out. We did once, hell we have more than once,” my voice cracks as I finish the sentence. “Don’t give up, Carter, please.”

  “Fuck, Hannah, I’m not giving up. But… Fuck!”

  “Where are you in JC babe?”

  “I’m not anymore. I turned around when we started talking. Go to bed Han, I’ll call you in the morning. I love you baby. Two weeks.”

  “Carter, please be careful. I love you. Two weeks, babe.” I say with complete clarity before ending the call and making my way to bed.

  My iPad starts to chime, alerting me of an incoming Skype Chat, I skip from the closet to the nightstand to swipe the screen. “Hey babe, I was just packing!” I exclaim, leaving the tablet propped on the stand facing into the walk-in closet as I stride away to continue my task.

  “Fuck, I love that ass,” he growls. “What time does your flight leave in the morning? I think I might just skip work, and wait for the plane,” now he’s laughing and rubbing his scruffy face. I round the corner of the closet, now in just my bra and panties and prop my hand on my hip.

  “Hey sexy, keep that scruff for me, alright?” I wink and unhook my bra just before stepping out of view of the iPad camera.

  “Hannah, what the fuck, you are killing me with your mini peep show.”

  “Ha-Ha, awww baby, anticipation, you know it’s better when I make you wait. Oh, um wait,” I pause, adjusting the outfit I bought and promised him I would give him a private preview of before I traveled home tomorrow. “That’s me... fuck this is difficult putting on all alone,” I pout.

  “Yeah, impatient mother fucker here, what the fuck are you doing? I can see your arms flailing around in the shadows,” he laughs again.

  “Carter, you are… alone, right?” I ask my voice both sensual and suggestive.

  “Hannah, now.”

  Stepping into the doorframe of the bedroom, I slowly pull my hands from my hair, the blonde tresses cascading in large curls over my shoulders, my hands resting on either side of the door way. My bronze skin completely bare aside from the pale turquoise silk strategically wrapped around my skin, coming around from my backside and covering my breasts, crisscrossing in the back to the front then again to the back forming an extravagant bow over my lady bits. To complete my outfit are my five-inch turquoise, crystal, strappy Jimmy Choo stilettos.

  “So?” I smirk at his gawking mega-white smiling face.

  “Fuck, me... I wish you were here baby.” He murmurs, looking me up and down as I walk closer doing a turnabout, grabbing the iPad. “You are stunning, but that is NOT an outfit, that is a ribbon, and that is fucking torture!” he groans and moves his camera to show me his very attentive member.

  “Mmmm, he misses me,” I tease and lick my lips, “shall I unwrap your present, Mr. Jacobs?” I place the iPad back on the nightstand and tug at one of the ribbon ends, giggling as he sighs in frustration. I love his impatience, but even more so that I have this simple control. I slightly tug, the entire ribbon falls to the floor, leaving nothing to his imagination, and me wet and ready to start our fun time.

  “Perfection… mine,” he breathes out. “Are you wet baby, you wanna play?” he questions with mischief in his eyes.

  Taking a finger and running it through my slickened folds, I bring it back towards the screen as I am now propped up on the bed and offer my proof. “Mmhmm, very, very wet,” I smile as I suck my finger into my mouth releasing it, now clean with a popping noise.

  “Let me watch baby, show me,” he simpers and I listen, slowly trailing my hands from my neck teasingly slow over my swollen breasts teasing and tweaking my nipples as he slowly pulls the length of his thick cock. “Keep going, show me what I’m missing, Han.”

  I smile as my hand glides down my stomach and over my smooth mound cupping my sex, “this, you’re missing this, hmm, sexy?” I smile dipping in two fingers, plunging them quickly in and out as I play with my clit unable to take my eyes off of him in the screen. “Baby, FUCK, I need you in me!” I whine.

  “Free pass, get Hernandez,” he laughs.

  “Are you sure,” I pant, knowing we made a “deal,” but there was a stipulation that we could bend for each other. Seeing his wink and hearing his laugh, I don’t think twice, I reach across the stand and grab the multispeed rabbit. “I have it,” I grin biting my lip, I’ll address the vibrator nickname later.

  After our afternoon Skype session, I clean up, finish packing and prepare for my trip home. Brielle texted me saying she would be home before dinner to pack and had a last minute plus one, which I already knew about, but whatever. That’s Brielle, always last minute, it’s why I love her. She reminds me to live.

  My parents are over the moon happy, as are Carter’s parents that his visit went so well considering it resulted in the rekindling of our relationship. However, not all things are meant to be and I miscarried our bean at seven weeks. Carter and I made the decision not to tell anyone about the pregnancy until I came home for the trip, but as fate would have it, we just won’t be mentioning anything. My mom has tentatively planned a Thanksgiving Dinner for just our families as well as the Sava’s.

  Packing up my office after the last class of the day before Thanksgiving break officially begins, my watch reads five minutes to three and I know I have just enough time to make it home then to the airport before her flight reaches Columbia Regional. A quick ten-minute drive home, and another fifteen minutes pass before walking back out the door showered and unshaved, as requested,
I am more than ready to pick up Hannah and Brielle. My phone pings from the charging doc in my truck; Hannah’s photo pops up indicating a text message. Granted it’s illegal to text and drive, you’ve got to be shitting me if you think I’m ignoring that message. I may talk to her every day, but she is never ignored.

  Hannah – hey you, landed early. Are you close?

  Me – not close enough. I’ll be there in 10.

  Hannah – kk, are you in the car or truck?

  Me – truck

  Hannah – it’s illegal to text and drive Carter Grayson!

  Me – then how bout ya stop textin Banana

  Hannah – :P I love you

  Me – I love you – did you bring the ribbon? LOL

  Hannah – and Hernandez :-)

  I pull into short term parking about five minutes later, and walk directly to the baggage claim area. On my way, I think about her message of what vehicle I was driving and stifle a laugh. I sure hope she didn’t make this a vacation for more than me and her, because if I have my way, she won’t be available for get-togethers. Upon rounding the corner after passing through the check in sector of the airport, I slow trying to figure out the scene ahead of me. Brielle, Hannah, and a tall, muscular framed man stand, chatting and laughing, as he reaches for their bags on the conveyor belt. Who the fuck is this guy? Hannah never mentioned anyone aside from her and Brielle coming home. A tinge of jealously courses through me, just as she turns around and smiles, showing off those side dimples once she see me, and rocking my MU hoody like no one else could with grey slinky lounge pants.

  “Hey you,” she mouths just before sprinting into my now open arms. Brielle and the guy I don’t know trail behind her with all the luggage. She must have caught my ‘who the fuck is that’ demeanor because as soon as she is tucked into my arms she introduces us. “Carter, this is Chase, he is a good friend of ours and my co-worker. Chase this is Carter.”