Indelible Love - Emily's Story

by D. W. Cee

  “Hi Jake. Are you off to work already?” I asked.

  “Emi. Why are you up so early? Are you alright?”

  “I’m alright.” I lied hoping he wouldn’t catch the sadness in my voice. “My back was hurting on this couch so I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep.”

  “Why are you sleeping on a couch?” I probably shouldn’t have explained that one either. I knew what he would say.

  “Peter got a gigantic suite and I was supposed to room with Sarah but Charlie stayed in our room so I ended up on the couch.” Of course Jake immediately insisted on getting me a separate room. “Jake, no. I don’t want you to get me my own room. That’s not cool. We came as a group. I need to do everything with them. Please, don’t do that.”

  “Alright. Emi? Are you sure you’re okay? You sound sad. Did something happen with Max again? Do you want me to fly in today?”

  “I’m fine.” The flat tone in my voice was an unconvincing reassurance. “I think I miss being in my own bed. Between Hawaii and Vegas, a different bed has greeted me each night – yours having been the most pleasant one. I miss being with you as well.” My voice cracked a bit and I knew I needed to get off the phone right away.

  “Emily, I’m coming to see you right now! I don’t like the way you sound.”

  “Jake, I’ll see you tomorrow. You can not abandon your work to come get me. I’m fine. Go to the hospital and focus on your patients. I don’t want to be a distraction for you.”

  While I was saying this, Max stepped into the living room, and I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

  “Jake, I gotta go. I’m sorry. Have a wonderful day. I love you. Bye.”

  Max had a worried look on his face. He stared at me with his boyish good looks that reminded me of our better days in college.

  “Em, are you okay?” I wiped away a final tear and turned my back towards him.

  “I’m fine,” I lied.

  He sat on the couch and turned me around to face him. He comforted me with a hug and to Max’s surprise, I didn’t push him away. The love and tenderness we once shared for so many years spoke through our embrace. I stayed in his arms for a while, silently, eventually pulling away. Max let go, unwillingly.

  “Thanks. I really needed that. It was hard holding back the tears during our phone call. He would come here immediately if he thought there was something wrong with me.”

  “He’s quite protective of you. Jake seems to love you very much.” Max didn’t like admitting this.

  “Yeah, I feel loved when I’m with him, like there’s no one else on earth but me. Maybe it’s his age or maybe it’s just him. He takes care of me without hovering over me. It’s been wonderful.”

  “Then why are you so weepy this morning if everything is so perfect with him? Why’d you call him this early if you didn’t want him to see you like this?” Max’s expression hardened.

  “Jake actually texted me before leaving for the hospital and I should have just let it go but I missed him and wanted to talk to him.

  “Is that why you’re crying, because you miss him? I’m going to be really mad if I was your shoulder to cry on because you missed your boyfriend.” I couldn’t tell whether Max was joking or serious. Perhaps it was a bit of both.

  I laughed. “No. That’s not why I’m crying. I’m just a bit frustrated at the ironies of life.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “After our conversation last night, I realized all throughout undergrad, I wanted nothing more than to marry you, but you never asked. Obviously that wasn’t in your plans. I finally meet a man who wants to marry me and I don’t have that same assurance. Maybe it’s just too early. We’ve known each other for such a brief period and yet Jake is so sure I’m the one. I believe I feel the same way but I’m not positive.”

  Max’s nervous expression worried me. To my surprise, he pulled me off the couch and told me to get dressed. “Let’s go have breakfast, Em.”

  Chapter 9 A Second Proposal

  We went downstairs and enjoyed each other’s company like old times. I had missed his friendship during our time apart.

  “How is it that you can eat so much?”

  “I know, Jake wonders the same thing. I think I eat as much most men, huh?” After polishing off a breakfast burrito it was time to dive into my chocolate croissant. “Do you know what we’re all doing today?”

  “No. I heard some talk about outlet shopping and some want to gamble again. What do you want to do?”

  “I don’t know. You know I don’t like this city. There’s not much here for me to do. We should have all gotten tickets to go watch a show or gone out to a nice meal.”

  “Em, I don’t think I’ve ever taken you anywhere special in all the years we’ve dated, huh?”

  “Of course you have. You’ve done lots of nice things for me.” I was hoping he wouldn’t ask me to list them because none came to mind at this instant.

  “There’s something I’ve always wanted to do for you. Would you mind spending the day with me?”

  This was not the Max I had lunch with a week ago, nor the Max I went to the football game with last night. This was the Max I’d dated all through college. The same boy I had loved with all my heart, wanted to spend time with me today. This was my desire as well.

  “Okay,” I answered with a smile. “What do you want to do today?”

  “If you’re done, let’s go. I think the first flight leaves at 7:00.”

  He grabbed my hand and rushed me out to the strip and into a taxi. Not far from the Palazzo sat dozens of helicopters ready to take off.

  “You haven’t been to the Grand Canyon yet, have you?”

  “No. It’s still on my to-do list. Is that what we’re doing? We’re flying over the Grand Canyon?”

  “Get in. This should be fun.”

  Max was absolutely right. We took off from Vegas and saw an unobstructed view of Boulder City, Hoover Dam, Lake Mead and the Colorado River. During this time headsets provided interesting facts and stories on these places. Next we flew over the breathtaking grandeur of one of the Seven Wonders of the World – The Grand Canyon. Words could not describe the awe of taking in the sights of this geographic amazement carved out by the Colorado River.

  “Are we also going to walk on the skywalk?”

  “Uh huh,” he answered smiling at me.

  If our ride wasn’t cool enough, the helicopter descended 4,000 feet below the canyon along the Colorado River. We were able to land and explore the canyon where the Haulapai Indians guard. The touring company gave us four hours to have lunch and enjoy the surroundings. Max and I decided to take a mule ride during this time.

  “Are you enjoying yourself?” Max put his jacket around my shoulders as he noticed me shivering.

  “Yeah. This is really cool. Thank you. It was sweet of you to remember all this.”

  “This mule ride is supposed to take us to a ranch where we can have lunch. I’m sure you’re hungry again. Some things don’t ever change no matter how much time goes by.”

  “Hey. We didn’t tell anyone where we were going. Can you call Sarah and let her know what we’re up to? We left in such a rush I didn’t bring anything.”

  Max took out his cell phone but realized we didn’t get reception. We would call from a payphone when we got the ranch.

  The mule ride wasn’t as enjoyable as I’d imagined. We rode on the edge of the canyon overlooking what could be death if the mule took one misstep. I feared for my life while Max laughed at me the whole way.

  “You’re still such a chicken. There’s not one daring bone in that body of yours.”

  “Knowing this, you shouldn’t have suggested a mule ride. It’s frightening. What if we die?” The last four words needed to be whispered in order to not freak out the other riders.

  “Em, you can be so ridiculous at times.”

  “I don’t consider this being ridiculous!”

  We argued, we laughed. It was just like old times. We we
re both very happy.

  “Hey Em?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Never mind.” Max just shook his head.

  “You know I hate it when you do that. Tell me.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Ugh! Whatever.” I rolled my eyes at him. It bugged me when he started a conversation that led nowhere.

  During this ride, I thought about Jake and how fun it would have been to have him here. As enjoyable as it was being with Max, I would have preferred riding with and sharing this time with him. Pathetically, my joy and sadness hinged on Jake’s words and actions towards me. Thoughts of my love brought a smile to my face.

  “What are you smiling about? You look goofy,” Max commented poking his index finger into my cheek.

  “Be quiet,” I answered swatting away his finger.

  We arrived to find an impressive spread at the ranch. There was a barbeque as well as a Native American dance. We got so caught up in the festivities neither one of us kept track of time.

  “Max what time is it? Shouldn’t we get going?”

  He looked at his watch and jumped off the rock we were sitting on. “Crap! The helicopter just took off.”

  “What? How did this happen? What are we going to do?” A howl of laughter that escaped my lips couldn’t be helped. Max looked at me as though I had gone mad.

  “What are you cackling about?”

  “Why do these kinds of things always happen to you? You plan a wonderful activity and somehow it always goes awry. Remember the time you planned a Valentine’s picnic but forgot to bring

  the address to the park? We searched for hours then picnicked at some random park.”

  “I planned to go to that park.”

  “Liar. You still can’t admit to any wrongdoings.” I shook my head and laughed some more. “So what now?”

  “Wait here. Let me go make some calls.” Max left to resolve our mess and a plan B was necessary, as always, when Max made the arrangements.

  He came back to our seat and gave me the news. “Okay, so here are our options.” His face already told me that these options were really not options.

  “Number one – we walk up to the top of the canyon and drive back to Vegas – that would take three hours just to walk up.

  Number two – we charter a helicopter to pick us up and fly us back to Vegas – we do need permission from the Indians to have a helicopter land near here.

  Number three – we spend the night here, then either take a mule back to the original landing point and fly back into Vegas or ride the mule all the way up to the top and then drive back to Vegas.”

  “So you’re basically telling me that number three is our only option. It’s just a matter of three A or three B.”

  Max nodded his head yes.

  “I pick three B. I still want to go on the skywalk. Then let’s rent a car and drive back to LA. What are we going to do about clothes and toiletries? Does the ranch have rooms for us to stay in?”

  “This ranch is kind of like a dormitory where all the women stay in one cabin and all the men stay in another. Front desk says that you’re the only female occupant so far and there are a few male occupants in the other cabin. They also provide toothbrushes and stuff at a nominal charge.”

  “Alright, then. There’s not much we can do about this situation.”

  “One more thing…”

  “Uh-oh. Now what?”

  “Peter tells me you need to call Jake.”

  “Jake?”

  “Yeah. He’s in Vegas right now looking for you.”

  Oh no! How would I explain this situation to my boyfriend?

  “Max! You’re going to get me into so much trouble. Jake’s going to insist on chartering a helicopter to come and get me when I tell him I’m spending a night here with you.”

  “Cool. Then we can go home tonight.”

  “No, you’re not going anywhere. He’ll fly me home and leave you here,” we both laughed.

  Time to face the music…

  “Jake?” The sweetest voice magically appeared. “What are you doing in Vegas?”

  “Emi. Where have you been? I got so worried when you didn’t answer your phone.”

  “Well… I’m a bit stuck here in the Grand Canyon right now. A certain ex-boyfriend of mine brought me out to the canyon then got us stranded.” Max started tickling me in retaliation.

  “Stop!” I whispered to Max. “I’m in a lot of trouble with Jake right now.”

  Unhappy, Jake came up with the scenario I had pictured earlier. He offered to charter a helicopter to come pick me up.

  “It’s no use, Jake. They can’t come down here without the Haulapai Indians’ permission. Plus where we are, you have to walk at least another hour. It will be too dark by then.” I could hear Jake’s sigh all the way here at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. “Why don’t you spend the night in Vegas and come into the Grand Canyon tomorrow morning? I’d love to go to the skywalk with you. Can you do that or do you have to work tomorrow?”

  “Emily. Where will you sleep tonight?”

  “Right here on the ranch. We’ll stay here then take a mule ride first thing in the morning up to the skywalk.”

  “Why are you there with him? Never mind. You don’t need to answer that.”

  “I love you, Jake and I miss you. I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

  “Alright. I’ll see you then. Sleep well.”

  “Good night.”

  “I love you, Jake and I miss you.” Max imitated my last line. “When did you become so corny?”

  “What do you mean? I’ve always been like this. There wasn’t a day that passed without me telling you how much I loved you.”

  “Maybe you did, but it was never that lovey-dovey.”

  “Whatever. Where are we sleeping? Let’s go get some rest if we’re leaving at the crack of dawn.”

  Max bought me a toothbrush, soap and a small towel and took me to my cabin. It was a good size room filled with bunk beds. It was like summer camp in junior high all over again. I slowly walked to my bed and sat there feeling fearful about being alone in this room. Max read me immediately.

  “You need me to stay here with you?”

  “Would you?” My outlook brightened as the prospect of having a roommate. Perhaps the fact that he was my ex should have stopped me from wanting him in the same room with me but fear got the best of me.

  “Okay. I’ll take the bunk next to you if you’re sleeping here. You know I’ll get kicked out if someone finds me here. And by the way, what will Jake think if he knew I was sleeping in the same room with you?”

  “Trust me, this is exactly what Jake’s worrying about. It wouldn’t surprise me if he got a helicopter to land right outside tonight and took me home.” Jake, I’m really sorry but it scares me to death to sleep in this place by myself. I hope you’ll understand.”

  Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have gone to bed at 9:00 but there wasn’t much else to do. Max and I chatted for a while, then tossed and turned for another hour till we decided to talk again. Our talk turned a lot more serious than it had been all day. The serious Max from our lunch in Santa Monica slowly reemerged.

  “Em?”

  “Huh?”

  “ Does it bother you that I still call you Em? Should I stop?”

  “No. Why would it? That was your name for me. It’d be weird if you called me anything else.”

  “Doesn’t it take away from Jake creating a nickname for you?”

  “Funny thing, he’s always called me Emi. Instinctively he’s never called me Em so that’s your name forever if you like.”

  “You seem to be in love, again. Will you tell me about you and Jake?”

  “I’ll tell you if you’ll answer one question for me.”

  “What’s that?”

  I didn’t know if I was ready to hear this story but it had been a nagging question the past year and a half. “Why did you break up with me? Did I do something wrong in the end? Did you
get tired of me?” Tears began streaming down my face.

  “Em, how can you ask that?” He placed his hand on my cheek and wiped away my tear. “I loved you more than life. Breaking up with you was the hardest decision I’d ever made.”

  “Then why did you break up with me? You were my love, my life, my only family. You broke all of that up.”

  “Em...” he began to say, “I don’t quite know where to begin with this explanation. Graduation day was probably the darkest day of my life. I didn’t mean to break up with you but everything went wrong.” He rambled incoherently about things that happened that day and all I could give him was a confused stare.

  “Okay, let me try and start from the beginning. I started the day thinking that I was going to surprise you and propose after graduation.”

  So he was going to propose.

  “I was truly excited about our future. I ran around making sure that all details were set, staying away from you all day knowing I couldn’t keep my surprise a secret from you. After the ceremony was over, we were going to go to a nice dinner and a proposal was to happen during dessert. It was all perfectly planned out.” He let out a breath and then stalled for a few nerve wracking minutes.

  “What I didn’t factor in was the graduation speech we listened to that afternoon. Do you remember it?”

  “No. I don’t remember much about that day but the end,” I said sadly.

  “Well, it was a speech about going out into the world after graduation and making something of yourself. During this speech, our so-called future plagued me. There was no job prospect, no plans for more schooling. All I was sure about was my love for you. But then flashbacks of you working so many hours to support yourself and your undertakings to establish a stable life came to mind. Your life had been nothing but struggle the last ten years and my uncertainty would only add to this struggle. This made me think that we really didn’t have a future until I could get my act together. I didn’t think it was fair to keep you with me if I wasn’t going anywhere.”