Champagne Toast

by Melissa Brown

  “You didn’t let me finish, man. She’s super smart, but she’s really outgoing and in some sorority where all the girls are really fucking intimidating. I’m terrified to ask her out.”

  “Terrified? Wow. Okay, let’s break this down. Does she flirt with you?”

  “I think so,” Patrick says, his eyes seem to be in a daze. “But, the thing is, if I do ask her out and she says no, then I have to sit with her for the rest of the semester, and it’s only February. I can’t deal with that until May. I’ll end up dropping the class and my father will kill me.”

  Just then, my gorgeous girlfriend approaches us, carrying a tray full of empty glasses.

  “What’s going on, boys?” she asks with an expectant look on her face. Her beautifully sculpted eyebrows draw me in as she pushes her bangs from her eyes and tightens her ponytail. Even after months of being with her almost every day, simple movements like this still put me under a spell. Kate knows this, she likes it, even seems to relish it. She notices my staring and raises her eyebrows playfully to snap me out of it. I chuckle to myself, shaking my head. God, I’m in deep.

  “Patrick’s got it bad for his lab partner, but she’s intimidating and he’s not sure what to do.”

  “Wow, sounds serious,” Kate says sarcastically.

  “It is, Kate, don’t give me shit,” Patrick says, hanging his head.

  Kate grimaces and sits down next to Patrick, putting her arm around his shoulder. “All right, who is this girl?” she asks, giving him her full attention.

  “Her name’s Chloe. Damn it, even her name drives me insane. This sucks, you guys. It sucks,” Patrick exclaims before drowning his sorrows in more beer.

  “Here’s the thing, Patrick. When you feel like this, you have to take a risk. Look at Evan and me. Being around him was like torture when he first worked here. I wanted to be with him so badly, but I was scared. And I think Evan was, too?” Kate asks, looking up at me. I smile and nod. She looks relieved before focusing back on Patrick. “If you think you have even the slightest chance with this girl, you have to go for it. No regrets, my friend,” Kate says.

  I’ve come to know that “No Regrets” is Kate’s motto for everyone else, though not always for herself. She doesn’t seem to apply that to her own life, to her photography. She’s opened up more and more the longer we’ve been together, and I’ve seen so much of her work. An idea crosses my mind and my wheels start spinning. I need to help Kate see that this motto should apply to her as well. She’s talented and it’s time to show the world. But, I’ll have to think more about that later. Patrick needs help right now.

  “What do you have to lose?” I ask Patrick. “So, if she says no, you laugh it off like you always do and go back to being lab partners. But, if she says yes, then the possibilities are endless. Do it, man!”

  “You’re right, you guys. I’m being such a dipshit. I’m gonna call her,” he says, pushing away from the bar and quickly removing money from his wallet. He places a few dollars on the bar to pay for his beer, looking excited.

  “Right now?” I ask.

  “Yep. I don’t wanna wait. I sure as hell am not going to ask her in class. I’ll see you guys later. Thanks!” Patrick pulls his coat on, wraps his thick wool scarf around his neck and walks out into the harsh Illinois winter air.

  “Liquid courage?” Kate smirks.

  “Oh yeah, I was refilling his beer when he wasn’t looking. He never noticed.”

  “Great idea . . . if she says yes,” Kate observes.

  “She will. I have faith in my boy.” I laugh, placing Patrick’s money in the cash register. As always, he tipped me way too much.

  “You men are such simple creatures,” Kate teases. “Boost your egos a bit and you’re good to go, ready to take on the world.”

  “Is that so?” I ask, pretending to slam the register shut. Kate laughs at my dramatics as she leans over the bar, placing her hands on her elbows and gazing into my eyes. I walk towards her and steal a kiss, hoping Vince won’t see. He allows work relationships, but he doesn’t exactly condone them.

  “Listen,” I say, “I’m gonna take off a little early today. Do you think you and Vince can handle the crowd? I have a couple of errands to run.”

  “Sure, that’s fine,” Kate says, suspicion in her eyes. “See you at my place later on?”

  “Of course,” I say, leaning in for one last kiss before heading to the backroom to grab my things. I need to get to the camera shop before it closes.

  ***

  Two hours later, I arrive at Kate’s apartment. Her hair is down and music is playing softly in the background. Candles are lit throughout, giving her place a warm glow. Kate has a thing for candles. She loves them, can’t get enough of them. Half the time, when I arrive at her place she’s got them burning. Cracks me up. Just another reason why I adore my girlfriend.

  She greets me with a kiss when I walk through the apartment door and then immediately looks down to the gift bag in my hands.

  “What’s that?” she asks, her eyes wide. She licks the marinara sauce from her fingers and wipes her hands on the apron wrapped around her trim waist. I watch her hands sadly.

  “What?” she asks incredulously.

  “Are you cooking?” She nods in response. “I would’ve liked to taste that,” I say softly. “Looked delicious.” Kate blushes slightly, the apples of her cheeks growing pink. The glow of the candles makes her look like an angel.

  “I made spaghetti, no big deal,” she shrugs.

  “Oops, I think you missed a spot,” I whisper, pointing out a tiny spot of sauce beneath her lip. Kate moves as if she’s going to wipe it off. “No, let me,” I say.

  Carefully, I kiss the sauce from her chin, planting kisses across her jaw and down her neck. Kate sighs and I can feel her heart thumping in her chest.

  “Ev?” she says, her voice cracking.

  “Mmm?” I mutter between kisses and Kate runs her fingers through my hair.

  “I think you got all the sauce off my chin,” she says, tilting her head up towards the ceiling.

  “And it was delicious.” I smile, giving her one last small peck on the tip of her nose.

  “Are you finally going to tell me what’s in there?” she asks, gesturing towards the gift bag tied with a giant scarlet colored bow, Kate’s favorite color. I almost forgot it was in my hands.

  “Of course,” I concede, “I was just a little…”

  “Distracted?”

  “Exactly,” I grin. “Okay, so promise you’ll hear me out,” I say tentatively, handing her the package while I take my bulky winter coat off and place it on a nearby chair.

  “Okay . . . ?” Kate says, a curious look in her eyes. I want her to keep that look, but am dreading the look of irritation that I fear is just around the corner.

  “Open it,” I insist.

  Kate gives me one more suspicious glance before untying the bow. “Nice touch,” she says appreciatively.

  “I thought so,” I smile.

  Kate reaches into the gift bag and pulls out her gift, a Canon EOS 55 35mm film camera in mint condition, despite its age of 13 years.

  “Oh my god,” she marvels, “Evan, it’s incredible. This must’ve cost you a fortune.” She looks conflicted. Thrilled and worried, all at the same time.

  “No, it was worth every penny. You’re talented, sweets. I want you to focus on your photography.”

  “But, I already have a camera, remember?”

  “Yes, I know. But, you said yourself that it’s not in good shape. This one is in mint condition, Kate. It’s never been used, which is really hard to find.” Kate continues to stare at the camera.

  “Someone sold it to the camera shop and the owner couldn’t believe the condition it’s in,” I continue. “It will give your pictures the texture you love.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” Kate says, her eyes welling. Embracing her, I stroke her hair and kiss her neck behind her ear.

  “Say you’ll use it. S
ay you’ll take hundreds, maybe thousands of pictures with it. Say you’ll share your gift. Because you’re so talented, Kate, so talented.”

  Kate clutches my shoulders and sighs into the crook of my neck as she runs her fingers through my hair, settling them on the base of my neck.

  “Thank you for believing in me, Ev,” she whispers.

  “I always will,” I murmur. “Always.”

  Kate tenses within my arms. Sappy moments have never been her thing. She can only handle so much mush and then she retreats. She pulls back forcefully and jumps up and down.

  “All right, Mr. Maxwell, you’re my very first subject. Go sit in the living room.”

  “Now? Shouldn’t we eat first?” I ask, realizing I have just set myself up to be photographed. But it’s worth it if I can help her believe in herself.

  “Hey, this is your doing, buddy. Now get over there so I can load up this camera and take some shots.”

  “Only if you promise to show me how to develop them. I’ve been sleeping here for months, and I haven’t been invited back into your darkroom.” I raise an eyebrow and Kate rolls her eyes.

  “I want to know all the ins and outs. Teach me, please,” I say, taking her hand and guiding her to the living room.

  “You got it. I’ll take some shots. Then we’ll eat dinner and make our way to the darkroom. I’m curious to see how different the shots will look now that I have a real camera.” Her enthusiasm is contagious.

  I plop myself on her couch and begin making pouty model faces. Kate cracks up as she plays with the camera and loads the film I purchased.

  “Wow, what a hottie we have here,” she teases.

  “You know it, Armour,” I reply, again forming a dramatic pout with my lips, placing my hands up near my cheeks and gazing up at the ceiling like a 1940s hand model.

  “Okay, let’s be serious. You have to give me something good,” Kate says, pretending to sound exasperated.

  “You’re the pro, sweets. Tell me what to do. Direct me,” I reply.

  Kate stares intently before tilting my chin towards the floor and adjusting the collar of my shirt.

  “Just look at me. Don’t smile or anything, just direct your eyes my way,” she says, crouching down on the floor. I look her square in the eye before she places the large camera in front of her. She points her finger towards the shutter, indicating where I should look. She’s such a natural.

  She snaps photo after photo of me. Sitting, standing, serious with my chin in my hands and laughing with my eyes crossed. She goes through several rolls of film and is completely in her element. I’ve never seen her like this and I wish I could freeze this moment in my memory forever. Somehow I don’t think that’ll be too hard to do. The emotion I feel for her is so intense, I know that soon I will have to express my love to her. Bracing myself that she might not return those three words, I know they need to be said . . . and soon. I’ve never said them before, but somehow with Kate they feel right.

  After finishing her third roll of film, Kate sighs, looking exhausted in the best possible way. She looks sated, satisfied and truly blissful. A wave of satisfaction flows through me, as I know I have brought her to this state of happiness.

  We spend our dinner hour twirling spaghetti with our forks and spoons and dipping our garlic bread in the sauce. Kate laughs again and again as she sips her wine and reminisces over our little photo shoot. She’s so excited to see how these photos will develop and it’s all over her gorgeous face. Her eyes are bright, her smile is wide and I’m amazed at how much I love her. It’s scaring the shit out of me. I’ve never been in love like this. I’ve had plenty of girlfriends, but none of them had such power over me. This is brand new territory and as petrified as I am at feeling like this, I’m all in.

  She’s my world now.

  When the wine bottle is empty and our bellies are full, we clean up the kitchen and make our way to her makeshift darkroom. Kate leads me into the room and gives me the lay of the land.

  “Here, put this on,” she says, sliding an apron on over my head and tying the strings in the back. “Lots of chemicals in here, we have to protect our clothes.”

  “Wow, I’m so impressed that you did all of this yourself,” I say in wonder as I look at all of her supplies in the large room. Her bathtub has been transformed and is almost unrecognizable, as a large wooden structure has been built to fit inside. Trays sit on top of the structure, and the shelves above are lined with chemical-filled containers. The smell is pungent. “That’s a really strong smell,” I observe, waving my hand in front of my face.

  “You’ll get used to it,” Kate says matter-of-factly as she places gloves on my hands. She snaps the glove as she puts them on me. Such a smart ass. “Don’t be such a baby,” she winks.

  “So, what are all these chemicals?” I ask, pointing at the large jugs.

  “This one is the Developer,” she says, pointing, “and this is the Stop Bath. Over there is the Fixer and the Hypo Clear.” She sees the clueless look on my face and giggles.

  “Seriously,” I laugh, “I feel like Charlie Brown in his classroom. Wah wah wah wah wah.”

  Kate laughs and rolls her eyes. “It’ll all make sense soon. Give me a minute. I’ve never had to teach anyone before.”

  “Are you sure you still want to?” I ask gently.

  “Absolutely,” she grins from ear to ear, and I can’t stop myself. I’m kissing her deeply, my gloved hands grabbing her earnestly. She kisses me back but laughs into my mouth.

  “C’mon,” I say, “I’m rockin’ this sexy apron and gloves. This doesn’t turn you on?”

  “You always turn me on, Ev. But, when I felt the gloves in my hair, I couldn’t help it; I had to laugh.” She shrugs. “C’mon, let me show you how all of this stuff works.”

  She begins pouring each of the four liquids into separate plastic trays on the countertop and explains the purpose of each liquid; how they come together to develop a photo from negative to black and white shot. She also fills other plastic trays with water for rinsing after each step.

  “So, here we have the Developer. Developer activates the light sensitive crystals that make up the emulsion on our paper,” she says, holding up a sheet of photo paper. “When the crystals come into contact with the Developer, any parts of the paper exposed to light will become some shade of black.”

  “Awesome,” is all I can think to say. I’d like to say that I’m really taking it all in, that I’m actually learning, but I can’t stop staring at Kate. Her lips are so full tonight, and her never-ending smile and enthusiasm have me mesmerized.

  “I’ll tell you the rest as we go,” she grins, realizing that I haven’t been giving her lesson my full attention. “Before we can do any of this, though, we have to come over here to my enlarger.”

  “Now this,” I say, gesturing towards the machine, “— this is a cool machine.”

  “My parents gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago. It’s what started all of this. It makes this entire process possible. We have to convert our negatives into larger images so that they can be developed into prints. It’s a long, involved process.”

  “I’ll follow your lead,” I say, gesturing for Kate to begin. A confident, determined look crosses her face as she begins to insert negatives into the enlarger. She giggles as she looks at the many faces I made for her.

  “Wow, you are a man of many facial gestures. Have you thought of modeling?” she asks sarcastically.

  “Whatever, if the pictures don’t look good, it’s because I wasn’t given enough motivation. I’m a serious model, I need to be inspired,” I tease.

  “Sure, sure. Well, watch and learn, my handsome model.” Kate quickly gets to work on the negatives and enlarging. I watch intently as she works.

  “Wow,” I say as she moves us towards the chemicals, “I’m in serious awe of you.”

  “Really? How come?” Kate asks, a curious look on her crinkled brow.

  “You’re so good at this,�
� I explain.

  “Well, wait until you’ve seen how they turn out. Don’t speak too soon,” she attempts to warn me, but I’m not going to listen to her question herself or her abilities. “This is the part where you come in, Ev. Go ahead and place this paper into the developer tray.”

  “This one?” I ask, eager to do things properly, wanting her approval.

  “Yep,” she smiles. I dip the paper into the liquid, rocking the tray back and forth and then grasping it with the tongs when she tells me to take it out, following orders like a good student.

  “Now, this is your final rinse,” Kate says after we’ve gone through all of the steps, “we need to squeegee the paper and then hang it up here to dry on the clothesline.”

  About an hour later, there are multiple pictures of me hanging in Kate’s darkroom.

  “This is so cool, babe. This camera, I can’t get over how incredible the prints are.” She looks at each of the pictures, pointing out the texture in my skin as well as my hair. “You are a man of a thousand faces, Evan. I swear every single shot is different. You have such an expressive face. It’s amazing.”

  “I think you’re the one who’s amazing. And so gifted. You did all of this, and you taught me how to do it, too. You’re brilliant.” She smiles hesitantly. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

  “I’ve never been good at taking compliments. You should know that by now,” she says, avoiding eye contact as she removes her gloves and apron. I begin to remove my protective gear as well, following her lead. I pull her close to me and tuck her hair behind her ears, running my fingers down the side of her face until I reach her chin.

  “Get used to it. Because I think you’re magnificent. And my God, you have no idea how many times I wanted to stop developing pictures and throw you up against the wall.”

  Kate laughs and looks me dead in the eyes. “Well, why didn’t you?”

  “Is that a challenge, Miss Armour?”

  “Maybe,” she smirks.

  That signature smirk, that tiny glimmer in her eye is all it takes for me to crush her mouth with my own. As my tongue strokes hers, I guide her to the other side of the room where no liquids, no chemicals can be spilled. I may be hot for her, but I’m not an idiot. She quickly wraps her legs around me and I instinctively support her thighs with my hands, guiding her to the sink. Her ass rests on the porcelain pedestal as I place hungry kisses down her neck, biting on her skin and tugging just a bit until she moans my name.