Kate’s hands glide up and down my back, her fingers lightly tickling my skin. When she reaches the pierced skin and feels the blood dripping down my sides, she gasps.
“Oh no, Ev, I’m so sorry!” Her eyes look panicked and I can’t help but laugh.
“Sweets, it’s fine. Barely felt a thing.” A total lie, but I can tell she feels awful, and I don’t want to worry her. There’s a sick part of me that’s proud of these cuts, too. Like she’s marked me in some way. Tomorrow, no one will know they’re there . . . but, I will. And I know the thought alone will turn me on. This girl drives me insane.
“You’re lying,” she says, narrowing her gorgeous eyes at me.
“All right, fine, it didn’t feel good. I’ll admit. But, as you can see, it didn’t, um, affect me. So, don’t worry.” A laugh escapes my throat, and the corners of Kate’s mouth turn up. “I’ll let you play nursemaid in a minute, okay?” I ask. She nods lovingly.
Later, as we lay in bed, Kate tending my cuts with band-aids and antiseptic, and me wincing in pain to get sympathy from her, I think about all the ups and downs this woman brings to my life. She frustrates the hell out of me. But, when all is said and done, I simply can’t live without her. She is worth all the fights, the insecurities and the misunderstandings. She is worth the moments of sheer heartache and jealousy because she brings so much happiness to my life. Happiness I never thought was possible. And right this second, I realize that I want to marry her.
Chapter 12
Kate
November 6, 2009
“Since when does he like to go dancing?” My eyes roll as I talk to Bree during a Friday night shift at the bar. Evan’s been working for a marketing firm for two months and he’s already changing. I’ve never seen Evan dance before, but, for some reason he’s all enthusiastic about it now. I blame his co-workers. Especially some guy named Hal. Hal Fairman. What kind of name is that? He’s a snob and a half, and I worry about the effect he might be having on Evan. He’s constantly calling Evan’s cell phone, inviting him to clubs, concerts and other freebies that the firm receives.
“He’s just trying to get along with his new friends, Kate. Cut the guy some slack. At least he wants you to join him.”
Bree has a point. “True, I guess it could be worse. He could be going out without me.”
Even though Evan is suggesting different restaurants and different things for us to do, he’s spending just as much of his free time with me as he always has. And true to his word, he does come to Molly’s on most Friday nights while I’m working. He drinks a couple of beers, talks with Vince and Bree while he waits for my shift to end. And even though there’s been a little bit of tension (mostly caused by me) about his new job, we’re doing pretty well. In fact, we’ve been together for two years now. And I love him more and more as time passes. I didn’t know that was possible. But, every time I see him, my heart flutters just as it did the day he walked through the door of Molly’s the very first time.
“Tell me about it. Jon goes out without me all the time. It drives me crazy. I wonder where he is and if he’s meeting random girls. It sucks. Hold on to this one, Kate.” Bree says, walking away with a tray of drinks.
She’s right. I know she is. Her boyfriend, Jon, is really no prize. She could do so much better and sometimes I tell her as much. But, for some reason, she stays with him year after year. I keep hoping he’ll finally do something to push her over the edge so that she’ll realize she deserves more. When I think about Bree and Jon, I always realize just how lucky I am to have Evan, my Evan.
As if he knows he’s being talked about, Evan calls my cell phone. I smile, looking down at the screen.
“Hey, Ev,” I breathe into the phone.
“Sweets, how are you?”
“Eh, a little tired. I’m ready for this shift to be over.”
“Didn’t you just get there?” he asks with a laugh.
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I say, glancing at my watch. He’s right. It’s only 6:00 and I’ve been here for all of an hour. It’s going to be a long night. “Are you almost off work?”
“I’m wrapping things up and should be out the door soon. I’ll stop by Molly’s and grab a bite.”
“You’re not going to happy hour with Hal?” I ask sarcastically. I know I’m pushing my lucky by antagonizing Evan so much about his new friend. But, sometimes things just fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. I grimace knowing this is one of those times.
Evan breathes loudly into the phone. “He did ask me, but I wanted to see you instead. I’ve been so busy with work this week, and I wanted to see my girl. But, I guess I still could go with Hal . . . ” he says, calling me on my shit.
“I’m sorry,” I concede, “yes, please come here.”
“All right, I’ll be there in an hour. I love you.”
“Love you, too,” I say, relief flowing through my body. After closing my phone, I see Bree standing in front of me with an expectant look. She wants details.
“I’m assuming that was him,” she says. I nod, looking away from her. I’m not in the mood to spill the details of my insecurities or to admit that I was just a royal pain in the ass on the phone.
“He’ll be here in a little while,” I offer, knowing this isn’t quite the information she’s after.
“Have you shown him the photos you took for your new class?”
I shake my head no.
“Kate, why the hell not? You have a gift.”
“I don’t want to bother him. He’s been so busy lately with work. I barely see him and when I do, I don’t feel like talking about my hobby.”
“Don’t do that, don’t call it a hobby like your mother does. You’re better than that.”
“I’m just being realistic. The chances of me actually having a photography career are slim to none. I need to accept that. So do you and so does Evan.”
“No, you need to listen to your boyfriend. Start developing a portfolio and put yourself out there. You can’t work here forever,” she says, wiping down the bar.
“So, it’s okay for you, but not for me?” My eyes narrow at my friend. She’s such a hypocrite; I could smack her.
“I didn’t say that. Look, I like working here. It suits me. You have a passion and a man who actually supports you. Take advantage of that; do something with it. When I find my passion, you better believe I’ll be following it. But, for now, I’m fine where I am. You’re not. Every time you’re here, you’re practically climbing the walls. It used to suit you . . . but not anymore. You’re just biding your time, Kate. We both know it.”
“Whatever,” I snap, storming into the back room. “I’ll be doing dishes if anyone needs me.” I have to get out. Bree is making me think way too much about all of this. And worst of all, she sees right through me. It’s starting to feel like she and Evan are in this together; pushing me way too hard. I’m not ready
“Fine,” she yells after me. “Pain in the ass,” she mutters, but I hear her just fine.
***
“How on earth am I supposed to dress for this place?” I ask Evan, holding up two completely different outfits. He’s lounging on my bed, eating peanuts out of the jar. He pops them in his mouth as he studies the two ensembles.
“Sweets, it’s really not that hard. You’re over-thinking this. Both of those shirts are hot, so just pick one,” he says, popping a few more peanuts into his mouth with a wide grin.
“First of all, they aren’t shirts. This is a dress,” I say, lifting up the wrap dress in my left hand. “And this is a tank top. It’s made of satin and I’d wear it with some black pants. Come on, Ev. I’ve never gone dancing. I need help!”
Evan hops off the bed, puts the peanut jar on my desk and stands before me, studying the outfit choices with a determined look on his face. He’s either concentrating really hard or being a royal pain in the ass. I’m just not sure which one. Nodding, he grabs the satin tank from my hand, running his fingers down the smooth turquoise fabric.
“Well, if Hal says jump, we’d better ask how high,” I grumble. Evan pulls me close, resting his hand on the small of my back, his lips just close enough for me to smell the peanuts on his breath. Somehow, Evan can even make that smell sexy.
“You know, my sweet, you really know how to push my buttons. But, not tonight. Tonight, we’re going out, and you’re going to have fun. I’ve asked Patrick and Chloe to come, as well.”
“Oh, wonderful.” The sarcasm drips from my words as I pull out of Evan’s embrace. “You know how much I, like, adore Chloe,” I say, using my best sorority girl voice, flipping my hair dramatically and bouncing up and down on my toes.
“She’s not that bad,” Evan laughs, shaking his head. He knows she’s awful. And, it’s my fault they’re even together. I should’ve told Patrick that dating your lab partner was a stupid idea. Instead, I pushed him to ask her out. Now, I’m stuck with her.
An hour later, our large group of ten is making our way into the exclusive club. I hate this kind of pretentious shit. As we’re entering the club, Hal is desperately trying to impress Evan with stories of the strings he had to pull in order to make this evening happen. But, I can read Evan like a book. He’s doing his best to act as if he’s impressed, but he’s not. My Evan isn’t easily impressed by fancy nightclubs with drink minimums and tiny tables and cramped booths. My Evan loves watching a football game while drinking a beer and rubbing my back and running his fingers through my hair. I know Bree is right; Evan is just trying to make new friends from work. He’s trying to make strong connections in his new world. I’ll do my best to grin and bare it. But, that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
“Holy shit,” I say quietly into Evan’s ear. “Seventeen dollars for a martini?” Panic settles in. There’s no way I can afford the two-drink minimum. Evan pulls me in close.
“Don’t worry. I got it covered.” I glower at him. I hate pity in any form — even in a fancy glass with chocolate drizzled on top of it. “Seriously, I dragged you here. I’ll take care of the drinks. Just relax and enjoy yourself. Have a drink or two and then I’m dragging you out on that dance floor,” he winks at me as he looks back to his drink menu. God, he’s sexy.
A few minutes later, after our drinks arrive, I feel someone slide in next to me, pushing me closer to Evan. It’s Chloe. Lovely.
“Kate, you have to try this. It’s ah-may-zing,” Chloe says, giggling into my ears. She thinks we’re BFFs, which could not be further from the truth. I tolerate her . . . barely. I put up with her for Evan’s sake. Period.
“What is it?” I ask hesitantly as she tips the glass towards my mouth.
“Birthday cake martini, it’s incredible. So delish. Try it,” she insists, as she practically pours a big gulp of her cocktail down my throat. It is delicious. These glitzy places do know how to mix a drink. Too bad Chloe just wasted about $4.00 of hers on me.
“It’s good, huh?” Chloe asks before diving back into it. She’ll be loaded before her next drink even arrives.
“Yep,” I smile. “So, Evan tells me you’re heading to Spain next semester. I’ve always wanted to go there,” I say, attempting to make conversation with the always happy Chloe.
“Oh yes, I’m so, so, so excited!” she squeals, hopping up and down in our booth. “I’ll be there for an entire semester and will have to miss graduation. I’m going to miss Patrick sooo much, though. I hope he doesn’t dump me.”
“Why would he dump you?” I ask, ignoring all the obvious answers building up in my head for why I would break up with her. The list is long.
“Well, you know, we’ll be living different lives. Doing different things. I’ll be an ocean away, and he’ll be here. I mean, thank God he’s doing a fifth year so he’s still in school or I’d be freaking out right now.”
“Why?” I ask incredulously.
“Well, you know, he’ll be surrounded by all these women at work. You know, like Evan is.” She bites her bottom lip and makes an awkward face.
“Wow, thanks Chloe,” I respond, looking shocked that she’s said these words.
“But, it’s different with you,” she backpedals. “You’re here with him. You see him all the time. I’m going to be across the Atlantic! It’s a different thing,” she does her best to reassure me, although I can hear the shift in her voice.
She can’t undo the uneasiness she’s given me with her words. The drink in front of me is my only escape. Quickly, I down the dark chocolate martini and ask for another. Evan looks at me suspiciously, but I simply smile my dutiful girlfriend smile and quickly drink my second cocktail when it arrives. The second one does its job and I’m feeling fantastic. My skin is buzzing, my head is feeling light and I’m ready to dance, something I normally don’t do.
Evan and I have both had a few cocktails, so dancing comes naturally to both of us. Our bodies move together smoothly and my skin continues to tingle as his fingertips stroke my bare arms, giving me goosebumps each time. His touch is all I need, and I’m focusing completely on the way he’s making me feel right here, right now. Turning around, I back into Evan as we continue to move to the thumping music. I can feel Evan’s arousal on my back and it turns me on. Leaning back, I place my head back on his chest, my hands grasping his thighs as I grind into him. Evan moves his hand, stroking my stomach underneath my tank top. The pads of his fingers feel hot and make me moan as he strokes the skin just above the button to my pants. Continuing on his determined path to turn me on as we move, he pushes my long hair to one side, leaving my neck exposed. He blows seductively on my neck, sending shivers up and down my spine. No one makes me feel like Evan does.
After several more songs, he leads me back to the table. I’m so thirsty and need something to drink. Foolishly, I order another martini even though Evan gives me a look, as if to ask if I’m sure I can handle it.
“Hey,” Hal shouts above the music, “while you wait for your drink, have a shot with us.” He gestures to several full shot glasses sitting on the tiny round table. I shrug and grab the shot, sending it quickly down my throat.”
“Shit, Kate,” Hal says with a smug laugh, “that was tequila, you need salt and a lime.”
“Real women don’t need anything with their tequila.” I return his smug expression and I hear Evan laugh at my side. If I were sober, I wouldn’t have taken that shot. Vodka and tequila don’t mix well at all. But, I’m not sober, so I really don’t care.
“Well, you’re obviously enjoying yourself, Kate. I knew if Evan dragged you out with us, you’d have a good time.” A shocked look of betrayal takes over my face. Evan shakes his head to reassure me . . . of what, I’m not exactly sure.
“I am, thank you very much,” I respond snidely. Hal, the smart ass that he is, clearly doesn’t understand that I have no interest in talking to him. He’s killing my buzz. Luckily, my martini arrives, and I quench my thirst with the smooth liquid.
“So, I hear you’re a photographer,” Hal says, leaning in way too close for my liking. His breath smells like garlic and my stomach churns as he breathes in and out through his pompous mouth. Hal isn’t an ugly man, not at all. In fact, he’s had women flirting with him all evening. He’s tall with blonde spiky hair that’s thinning a little bit on the back of his head. He has a few moles on his face that keep distracting me. I feel like Austin Powers in my drunken stupor. I want to point and say “Moley, Moley, Moley, Moley!” Instead, I chuckle to myself. Hal doesn’t seem impressed, not in the least.
“What did I miss? Why are you giggling?” he asks, looking me in the eye. His words are loud and demanding, and his garlicky breath invades my senses.
“Oh, it’s nothing, Hal,” I say, emphasizing his name. “Hey, Hal, have you every heard of Hal-itosis? If not, time to Google it.” I say before laughing in hysterics, falling back in the bo
oth. My sides hurt from my cackling, and I hear Evan apologizing on my behalf.
“I should really get her home. I think she’s had a little too much to drink,” he says. A tiny part of me is embarrassed, but mostly I’m entertained by my own joke too much to really care. Evan wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me back to a seated position. Hal is pissed.
“Oh, Hal, it’s just a joke!” I yell over the music. “Lighten up!”
“Evan, I agree it’s time you take your girlfriend home, she’s making a fool of herself,” Hal says, his voice arrogant and rude.
“Watch it, Hal. She may be drunk, but she’s still my girlfriend. Show some respect,” Evan says, scooping me up in his arms. “Come on, sweets. Let’s get you home.”
Taking the train back to my apartment, Evan is quiet and even though I’m nowhere near sober yet, I’m starting to feel guilty for my behavior. He has to work with Hal everyday, and I don’t want to be the source of any tension for him.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you,” I say reluctantly, knowing I need Evan’s reassurance even in my intoxicated state.
“No worries, sweets. You could never embarrass me. Besides, his breath is awful and I sure as hell wasn’t going to say anything,” Evan admits. I can’t help but break out into hysterics once again, flopping my head on Evan’s shoulder and laughing so hard my lungs feel like they might burst. Evan begins to laugh too, while we’re surrounded by stares. He kisses the top of my head and takes a deep breath.
“It’s an adjustment. And I know you’re doing your best.”
“Thanks, Ev. I’ll work on it,” I say, catching my breath. And even through my martini-filled haze, I know that I must. If I’m going to keep Evan, I can’t behave like this again. There’s only so many times that I’ll be able to embarrass Evan without him questioning why he’s with me. And I can’t let that happen. Ever.
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