Beneath the Scars

by Joan Fennell Carringer

  He reminded himself she wasn’t a stranger. They had played together as children. But that was a long time ago. So long ago that they actually weren’t much more than strangers now. He had felt awkward with Sharris when he’d taken her to dinner. He probably wouldn’t have even taken her if she hadn’t suggested it in such a way that he couldn’t very well refuse. All evening as he watched her and admired her flawless beauty, he had also listened to her meaningless babbling. She liked to talk about herself, about her friends, and her job. She asked no questions about him or his life and didn’t seem much interested when he tried his best to join the conversation. It wasn’t long before he was bored and simply biding time until he could take her back home.

  It was just the opposite with Marna. He never wanted her to leave, and he didn’t know her any better than he knew Sharris.

  If only she wasn’t so self-conscious about her appearance. Even as he thought it, he inadvertently flinched as anger shot through him. Why did such a thing have to happen to her? Without those scars and that eye that wouldn’t totally open, she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. Maybe it was the scars that made her sweet and humble, instead of totally self-centered like her sister.

  When he’d seen her for the first time, his heart had nearly stopped. Not because of the way she looked but because he could almost feel the pain those scars had been the result of. She lost her parents. When she discovered she was alive and they weren’t, did that deepen the hurt from the actual physical pain? As little as he knew her still, he was fairly certain it would have done just that.

  He truly liked being with her. He could feel her genuine love and concern for others, besides herself, in the things she said. He had seen the tears in her eyes when he’d been talking about his dad singing the song Pops had written. The tears were real, and he knew she meant it when she said she’d love to hear Pops play the piano.

  He grinned and pulled out his phone. He was going to call her.

  Conrad continued playing, totally unaware of what his grandson was doing as he slipped outside to wait for Marna. Nor did he know when they both quietly reentered the house and sat down at the table in the kitchen.

  Devon grinned. “This seems to be our gathering place, doesn’t it? The kitchen table.”

  “What better place to be. All we need is a big pot of spaghetti and some garlic bread and a salad.”

  “At ten o’clock in the morning?”

  “It would be close to lunchtime before it was ready to eat.”

  Devon grinned. “I wonder if Pops has the ingredients. We might have to go to the store and buy them.”

  “If that’s the case, you’ll have to settle for a bowl of cereal right now because I don’t want to leave that beautiful music. Conrad is really good. Listen! He’s playing Amazing Grace! That’s my favorite song!” She started humming softly along with the music, then started singing the words.

  He watched, smiling. She had a beautiful voice. Before long, he found himself singing with her. Afterward, they both laughed. “You were good til I horned in,” he said.

  “You have a lovely voice.”

  “Lying is a sin, you know.”

  She laughed.

  The music stopped and Conrad hobbled slowly to the kitchen. “You two make some good harmony together,” he said, smiling. “Can you also make this old man something good to eat? I’m starved.”

  “Sit down,” Devon told him, pulling out a chair for him.

  “I’ll get your coffee,” said Marna, standing up and walking over to the coffee pot. “Just look at all these beautiful mugs! Which one is your favorite, Conrad? I’ll bet it’s this one.” She held up a large red cup that was beautifully inscribed “Amazing Grace.”

  He grinned. “Whichever one I’m using is my favorite, so that will be it today. Now, I want lots of cream and sugar in that coffee.”

  “Ew!” Marna and Devon said together, and then they both laughed.

  “Don’t tell me you like it straight like my grandson does,” Conrad told her, winking at her as he did.

  “Okay, I won’t tell you but I do. Now do you really want cold cereal or would you like me to fix us some oatmeal. I see a box over there.”

  They talked and joked while she fixed the oatmeal, then sat together at the table eating in silence.

  “I sure am glad you’re here, Marna,” Conrad said when he was finished. “I love oatmeal and every time I make it, I burn it. I do not like it burned. Have you ever tasted burned oatmeal?”

  Once again, as if on cue, Marna and Devon both said, “Ew!” and, as before, everyone laughed.

  “I think maybe I should just marry you,” Conrad then said. “Only problem is, at my age, it’d have to be a really fast wedding or I might miss it.”

  Devon looked at Marna and winked, then back to his grandfather. “Maybe I should marry her. We’d have more time to plan it all out.”

  Despite herself, Marna blushed. She knew Devon was joking, but her heart couldn’t help wishing he wasn’t.

  “I just thought of something,” Conrad said then. “Donovan called me early this morning. I think he was really taken in by you, Marna. All he wanted to do was talk about you.”

  This time, she truly blushed.

  “You’re embarrassing her, Pops,” Devon said.

  She took a sip of her coffee, trying to still her racing heart. Even if Donovan had been eager to talk about her, she couldn’t help wondering what he had to say. That she would be pretty if not for the scars? That it was too bad she was disfigured with that one eye that would only open halfway? Conrad would never tell her any of that.

  “I’m sorry,” Conrad said, gently patting her hand. “Your grandpa Mike would turn over in his grave if he thought I’d said something to make you feel bad. Speaking of Mike……. Did he ever tell you about the time him, me and our friend Ottie….”

  Her eyes widened. “Ottie?”

  “Ottie Monroe. We were a threesome for a while, when we were in our wild stage.”

  She was all ears, all of her former uneasiness gone, as she waited eagerly for him to continue.

  Conrad grinned. “We were all in our early twenties and all newly married. Back in the day, we were pretty wild and we liked to drink a little and have fun. So the three of us went out one night and got a little tipsy. Well, more than a little, but that’s beside the point. We finally knew we had to go home, so Ottie, being the most sober of all of us, did the driving. He dropped Mike off, but before Mike got into his house, me and Ottie both passed out. A few minutes later, we heard a big scream that was loud enough to wake up the dead. AND the drunken. Ottie and me jumped out of the car to see Mike running toward us like the devil was after him. It wasn’t the devil. It was MY wife! Ottie had dropped Mike off at the wrong place and neither Mike nor me knew it til he crawled into bed with the wrong woman and she nearly killed him.”

  Devon and Marna were both rolling with laughter before he even finished.

  “Oh, I can’t imagine Grandpa doing something like that!” Marna said. “As long as I knew him, I never saw him take a drink of alcohol.”

  “That’s because he never drank again after that night,” Conrad said, laughing as he talked. “His wife, your grandmother, told him if he ever did anything like that again, she was either going to divorce him or kill him and she wasn’t sure which it would be.”

  Marna laughed again. “How many stories do you know?”

  “Oh, a few. Boy, I wish Ottie was here. He’s in the nursing home. Been there for a few years now. He has a good mind but his body’s weak and he’s in a wheelchair.”

  “Would you believe I met him Sunday in church? He told me he had been friends with Grandpa but I had no idea you were part of that friendship.”

  “Oh, yea, good ole Ottie!” Conrad laughed. “Listen to me. I’m the same age as he is. I gotta go see him real soon. I haven’t been there for a while.”

  “Maybe we all need to go,” Devon said. “I’ll bet he could tell us so
me tales about you, Pops.” He laughed.

  “I’d say he could. We used to like to race in those old cars.” He yawned. “But that’s for another day. I had no idea I picked on that piano for so long, but right now I’m feeling the effects of it. I’m gonna have to take a nap. You two youngens go ahead and visit as long as you want to. Marna, stay till suppertime and you can make that spaghetti I heard you talking about a minute ago.”

  She had no idea he’d overheard that comment. “I don’t think I can stay that long.”

  “What if I invite Donovan?” As he asked the question, Conrad’s eyes were on his grandson, rather than Marna.

  “Oh, no, please don’t do that. I really do have to leave. Taryn and I have a big ad we have to finish up.”

  Devon spoke. “The only Cord sister I haven’t gotten to see yet. Is Taryn more like you or Sharris?”

  “Taryn’s a genius at designing the perfect ads for anything,” Conrad said, “but she never has much to say, other than to describe her ideas for her work. I can’t tell you what she looks like now because Marna is still the only one I’ve seen in several years, but being Marna’s sister, she must be beautiful.”

  ∞ TEN ∞

  IT WAS STORMING when Marna awakened Wednesday morning. Thinking it would be the perfect opportunity to go back to sleep, she rolled over and closed her eyes again. A loud thunder boom made her jump and the flashing lightning that followed it lit up the entire room. Her eyes flew back open. A moment later, everything surrounding her was strangely quiet and almost as dark as night. The power had gone off. There was surely no reason to get up now. She couldn’t even make a cup of coffee, and there was no way she could start her day without it. What time was it anyway? Raising her eyes to where her clock rested at the head of her bed, she sighed. She’d get no help from it. It ran on electricity, as well as everything else in the house. She decided to try to go back to sleep. If the power was still out later, she’d call the power company and get the generator going. Until then, she’d sleep.

  The storm passed, the power came back on, but the rain continued most of the day. Sharris was gone to only the Lord knew where and Taryn was complaining with a headache and staying in her room until she got to feeling better. Marna was totally bored. It wasn’t very often they were finished up with every job they had and she had nothing to do, but today was one of those days.

  An idea popped into her mind that it would be a good day to visit Ottie in the nursing home. Ever since the conversation with Conrad the day before, she was becoming more and more anxious to see him again. She enjoyed being with older people. Sharris’ words came to mind, when she’d said nobody but her could get so excited about being with old people. Marna chuckled softly. Somebody had to give the dear old souls some attention. Why not her?

  A young, dark-haired nurse, about the same age as her, looked up and smiled at Marna as she approached the nurses’ station. Quickly, her smile turned into the all too familiar look of shock, but it didn’t last. In a fragment of a second, her expression was again happy and cheerful.

  Marna asked where Ottie’s room was.

  “I don’t remember seeing you before. Ottie will be glad to have a new visitor.” She pointed to a nearby hallway. “He’s in the last room on the left.”

  Marna returned her smile. “I just met him and I’m anxious to see him again.”

  “He’s such a sweetheart. Everybody here loves him. My name’s Josie. If he needs anything at all, let me know.”

  “I will. I’m Marna.” Marna turned and started down the hallway. Even though the idea of seeing him had seemed exciting earlier, she suddenly felt a little shy about it. She’d only met him one time. Would he even remember her? She grimaced. With her face, how could he forget her?

  He was sitting in his wheelchair, looking out the window and didn’t hear her come into the room.

  “Ottie? It’s me, Marna Cord.”

  He turned at once and gave her the biggest grin she’d ever seen on anyone’s face. “Marna! Old Mike’s granddaughter. Come over here, honey, and sit down and talk to me.” He patted a chair beside him.

  She felt immediately at ease.

  “I was just watching the rain,” he said as she seated herself. “Did you hear that storm earlier this morning? Seems like God was trying to send us a message in that one.”

  After a moment of silence, she spoke. “I saw a friend of yours yesterday. I was so surprised when we were talking and he mentioned you. His name is Conrad Marks.”

  Ottie’s eyes widened and he laughed loudly. “You don’t say! Conrad Marks. My goodness, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him. He calls every so often and always says he’s coming but he never does. Someday, when he winds up in here himself, he’ll know how much it means to have visitors.”

  She was so glad she had come. For a long time, they talked about first one thing and then another. He was a great conversationalist and had no trouble thinking up things to discuss. After a lull did manage to occur, he looked at her very seriously. “I want to ask you something personal now. I want to talk about your face.”

  She flinched. Anything but that.

  “Uh huh. I figured I’d get that reaction. That’s why I brought it up. I want to tell you about a man named Nick.”

  She waited.

  “My daughter-in-law, Lane’s wife that you met in church Sunday, has a twin brother who is very good friends with Nick. Nick is badly scarred, my dear. Like you, he was in a house fire. He was only ten years old and badly burned. That’s when he lost his parents. His grandfather took him in and kept him until he died and that’s when Nick wound up being alone. He says he never felt threatened by being by himself because his face was scary enough to keep him safe from anyone who even thought about harming him.”

  She winced. There were times she’d felt the same way.

  “Flynn, that’s Brynn’s twin brother, took him in and the two became very good friends. Today, Nick is deeply involved in working with troubled young people. He shares his personal tragedy, and how the Lord helped him to overcome, with others and he’s helped so many of them to be able to let go of their own fears.”

  “I think you’re trying to tell me something.”

  “I saw the expression in your eyes the minute we met. You were waiting for the shock to register in mine, and I saw your relief when it didn’t happen. Do you know why it didn’t happen, Marna? Because I could see beneath those scars to the beautiful young woman you are. I want you to remember what I am about to tell you, if you don’t remember anything else we talked about. Anyone who looks at you and sees nothing but your scars is not worthy of being your friend.”

  She couldn’t stop the tears that welled in her eyes, but smiled just the same. “I’ve never had anyone say that to me before.”

  He patted her hand. “So now that I’ve made you cry, I need to make you laugh. I thought about your grandpa, Old Mike, a lot since I met you Sunday and I remembered some things about him that probably only me, him and Conrad knows about.”

  She wondered if he was going to repeat the story of when her grandfather accidentally got into bed with Conrad’s wife. She waited, eager to hear his version.

  He told her something completely different. “We were less than twenty years old and we loved to race those old cars. Now you gotta remember, this was a long time ago and in the country where a lot of the roads were nothing more than dirt paths. Well, one time, Conrad, Mike and me decided that we wanted to try something even more challenging than the roads. We chose the cow pasture. Figured it would be fun and the cows were all in the barn so there’d be no danger from them, and it’d be less likely that the law would find us there. We were all squeezed up together like sardines in that front seat, which was the only seat, in my 1940 Ford Roadster. Boy, was I proud of that car! It was old when I bought it but it still took me two years to pay for it. But back to my story, none of us could hardly wait to see how fast we could make that thing go. Believe me, excitement mounted fast.”
>
  She waited, her eyes wide and eager and a smile on her face.

  “As it turned out, the roar of that old motor got the sudden attention of one big, gigantic bull. Where in the world he came from, I have no idea because none of us saw him until he was right behind us, running faster than our car could possibly go. We were pretty sure it was the end for us.”

  When he paused, she urged him on.

  “Well, Mike and Conrad decided they were going to try to save themselves any way they could and jumped out of the car. You gotta remember we were all young and strong back then and could run like the wind. They made a mad dash for the fence and got over it. Me? I wasn’t about to leave my most prized possession that I’d worked long and hard to get to the mercy of the bull, so I gunned it. I mean, I really floored it. Mud flew from those back tires like a whirlwind, right into the face of that mad bull. Of course, that made him even madder. And that Roadster stalled.”

  She was at the edge of her seat.

  “Now, I was a young whippersnapper and never thought I’d be scared of anything. But, honey, I was scared stiff! With that bull hard on my tail, all I could do was sit there. There was no longer time for me to run. He was too close. This was the end for me. I just knew it and all I could think to do was cry out, ‘Lord, help me!’ You’re never going to believe this, but that animal just suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. My car started back up and I kept going and was soon out of the pasture, safe and sound.”

  “He just stopped? Just like that? And the car started back up? God did it, didn’t He? When you prayed.”