Beneath the Scars

by Joan Fennell Carringer

  “I wasn’t much of a Christian at the time, and I never believed He’d answer a frantic, spur of the moment prayer for me. Maybe He did just that, but maybe He answered another one on my behalf. Seems my sweet little devoted Christian wife had a premonition or something that I was in trouble and started praying for my safety. She did that a lot, because I often needed divine help. To this day, I believe her prayer was the one that stopped that bull.”

  There was a moment of silence as he looked deeply and seriously into her eyes. “He’s the only one that can stop the enemy inside every one of us, honey. Satan doesn’t always appear like a raging bull, but he can hurt us just as badly by slipping up quietly and unexpected. Worse, really. He can kill our spirit and doom our souls to hell.”

  “I felt like I’d died and gone to hell when I woke up for the first time in the hospital after the fire.”

  “And look at you now. You are a beautiful young woman with a bright and sunny future ahead of you.”

  She looked down.

  “It’s true, and I’m going to be praying for God to make you believe it. I’m not a shy little boy Christian anymore, Marna. I believe and trust in the Lord with all my heart, and I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that He has big plans for you.”

  “I want to believe that. I want to be married someday, Ottie. I want a family, but I just can’t imagine any man being able to love me – the way I am.”

  “How old are you, sweetheart?”

  “I’m twenty-one.”

  “Twenty-One! Why, you’re still a babe in diapers.”

  She laughed.

  “What I mean is, you have lots of time to find the love of your life. Don’t ever think you don’t have a choice if some man you don’t really care about starts making eyes at you. If he’s not the one, keep waiting.”

  She glanced at her watch. “I hate to have to leave, but I need to check on Taryn. She had a migraine when I left. Thank you for your words of wisdom, Ottie, and thank you for the great laugh. I want to hear more stories. Okay?” She stood up.

  “I’ll put my thinking cap on and see what I can come up with. I may be old and not able to walk, but I still have my memories, thank the good Lord. I am greatly blessed.”

  She stooped down and kissed his forehead. “And I’m blessed to have met you. I’ll be back.”

  “Hurry. And if you see Conrad, bring that old codger with you. Tell him I’m tired of waiting for him.”

  ∞ ELEVEN ∞

  IT FELT AS IF the temperature had dropped several degrees as she walked to her car. It certainly didn’t seem like July, but more like October or November. Wrapping her arms around herself for warmth, she turned on the heater. She hadn’t expected this and didn’t even have a jacket. It would be good to get home again and stay there until summer decided to come back.

  The rain started again, coming down in thick sheets and making it hard to see where she was going. A few times she nearly pulled over, but since she didn’t have far to go, she kept driving. Thank goodness, she had a garage to drive into and wouldn’t have to get soaking wet before she got inside the house.

  Then it happened, the totally unexpected. The car in front of her abruptly put on its brakes and came to a dead stop at a red light Marna hadn’t been able to see because of the pouring rain. She slammed the brakes of her own car, but rather than stopping, she skidded into the car in front of her.

  Almost before she had time to realize what had happened, the other car door opened and a man wearing a big raincoat jumped out. As he started toward her car, he pulled the hood over his head and began to run. Then he banged on her window.

  She rolled it down enough to be heard and still not get soaking wet. “I’m so sorry. I…..”

  He spoke loudly. “You shouldn’t have been driving so close. If you can’t drive in rain, you don’t need to be driving at all.” With anger in his eyes, he was looking her over as he spoke. He must have gotten a good look because he suddenly smirked. “Maybe if you opened that other eye, you could see where you’re going.” He shook his head and then laughed. “I’m a nice guy. I’m going to let this go. Somebody with a face like yours needs a little mercy, I guess.”

  Without another word, he ran back to his own car, jumped back in and peeled off through the now green light.

  She just sat there. No one had ever spoken to her like that. People looked at her, most with sympathy or shock and some with disgust, but no one had ever came right out and told her she was ugly and needed to be pitied.

  A horn sounded behind her and she put her foot on the gas pedal. The car stalled. When she tried to restart it, nothing happened. Now what? She had roadside service, but she needed to get off the highway immediately, before someone from behind hit her the way she’d just done to the other car.

  Another tapping sounded on her window, causing her to jump. She hadn’t seen or heard anyone approaching. But with the rain so loud, it was hard to hear anything. She had no choice but to wind down the window again, praying all the while that it wasn’t another angry person.

  “Do you need some help?”

  The voice was not only kind but familiar. She looked at the speaker at the same time he looked at her.

  He smiled. “Why, it’s Marna. I’m Donovan Martin. Remember me?”

  “Y-es.” Still fighting the pain of the other driver’s insult, her voice broke as she spoke.

  “Look, don’t be scared or worried. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

  “My car stalled and it won’t start back.”

  Horns sounded from behind them. Donovan stood in the pouring rain and motioned the other cars to go on by, then turned again to Marna. “Slide over and let me give it a try.”

  She let him get in next to her. When he turned the key, it started immediately.

  Looking at her, as water dripped from his hair onto his face, he grinned. “What about that?”

  “I feel so silly. I could’ve tried again.”

  “But then I wouldn’t have had a chance to rescue you. Look, we can’t sit here talking but I want to make sure you get home okay. I’ll follow you. Okay?”

  “You don’t have to do that. Really.”

  “I know I don’t have to. I want to. Another good reason is that if Conrad found out I left you alone in the pouring rain, he’d probably shoot me! But you’ll have to pay me.”

  Her heart lurched. What was he getting at?

  “I have a long drive ahead of me and I’ll need a place to dry out for a while and a good cup of coffee to warm up my insides. Is it a deal?”

  She smiled, relieved. “It’s a deal.”

  Taryn was curled up on the sofa, still wearing her pajamas, when Marna and Donovan entered the house. “I’m in the living room, Marna,” she called out.

  Marna appeared in the doorway, Donovan right behind her.

  Taryn’s eyes widened and she immediately reached for the afghan on the back of the sofa and pulled it over her. “I thought you were alone.”

  “I’d like you to meet Donovan Martin,” Marna said. “Donovan, this is my sister Taryn.”

  Donovan smiled. “Taryn.”

  Taryn blushed. Donovan, the handsome blonde man her sister had told her had ‘the looks of a god.’ She wasn’t a bit wrong in her description. Even dripping wet, he was very easy to look at. And here she was, in her pajamas, her hair thoroughly disheveled. “I’m sorry. I had no idea someone was coming. I wouldn’t be sitting here in my pajamas if….”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Donovan grinned. “I have sisters.” Back to Marna. “If you’ll point me to the bathroom, I’ll get dried up a bit, while you start that coffee.”

  He was soaked through and through. No towel would be absorbent enough to get him dry. “You need more than a towel. Look, I don’t know of anything here that you could put on til I can dry your clothes, unless it’s a blanket.”

  “A blanket will be fine. I’ll just wrap myself up in it and we’ll have that coffee while you throw my clothes in the dry
er. That is, if that’s all right with you.”

  If she didn’t know he was a friend of Conrad’s, there was no way she’d agree to letting a perfectly strange man come into her home, strip down and wrap himself up in a blanket. “Um….okay. I’ll give you a blanket and you can head for the bathroom.”

  The minute Marna returned to the living room, Taryn sat up with a jerk. “Marna! What in the world are you doing? Why is he here with you? Why is he soaking wet? Do you realize he’s going to have on absolutely nothing under that blanket when he comes out?”

  Marna laughed. “Believe it or not, while I was looking in the closet for the blanket, I found an old jogging suit of Dad’s. You know, the one we used to all wear. We used to call it the community jogging suit.”

  “Oh, my goodness, yes! I forgot about it. For some unknown reason, it managed to survive the fire and we couldn’t bring ourselves to part with it. And now you’re letting a total stranger wear it!”

  “It’s better than a blanket.”

  The door opened just then and Sharris ran into the house. “Oh, my goodness, is it ever cold out there, and that rain! I’m glad I had the insight to take my raincoat with me when I left this morning. Whose SUV is that in the driveway? Do we have company?” She strained her neck, trying to see if anyone was with her sisters. “I guess not.”

  “Yes, we do,” Marna said, just as Taryn jumped to her feet.

  “I can’t believe he actually saw me like this!” Taryn cried. “Man, I look worse than you, Marna. Oh! Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

  Marna knew her sister would never say anything to hurt her, but just the same, it did hurt. Maybe it was because she was still feeling the pain over what the unknown driver had said.

  Taryn burst into tears and ran from the room.

  “What in the world is going on?” Sharris wanted to know. “What’s wrong with her? Does she still have a headache?”

  Marna hadn’t thought to ask.

  Donovan walked out of the bathroom, laughing at the jogging suit that went up to his ankles and barely covered his wrists. “I guess I’m a little bigger than your dad, Marna. Oh, sorry. Hi, I’m Donovan.”

  There was no mistaking the twinkle in his eyes as he looked at Sharris. Every man that saw her took on that same ‘boy, are you gorgeous’ expression.

  Sharris smiled, most likely the most enticing one she could come up with. “Donovan?”

  “Let’s all go and have some coffee,” Marna said. “We’ll talk in the kitchen.” She didn’t figure Taryn would come out of her room until she knew Donovan was gone. She would have to explain to her later.

  ∞ TWELVE ∞

  TARYN AND MARNA exchanged glances at the kitchen table the next morning and both shrugged their shoulders. Sharris hadn’t said a word and she was in some kind of strange mood that had her sighing dismally every few minutes as she stared straight in front of her.

  “Okay,” Marna finally said, “what’s bothering you, Sharris? You might as well bring it out in the open because you know we’ll find out sooner or later.”

  Sharris met her sister’s eyes and then looked away again. “Nothing’s bothering me. I’m just fine.”

  “Fine as a fish out of water,” Taryn remarked.

  Sharris made a face at her. “Smarty.” Gathering up her dishes, still containing most of her meal, she started toward the sink. She never turned around again until Marna’s phone rang. Then she stood very still, watching as her sister answered.

  “Hi, Donovan,” Marna said, smiling. A moment of silence. “I’m sorry, I can’t. Sure, maybe some other time. Thanks for asking.”

  “What was that all about?” Taryn asked. “Was he asking you for a date?”

  Sharris simply kept watching her.

  “Sort of,” Marna answered.

  “What’s ‘sort of’ mean? Did he or did he not ask you for a date?”

  “He wanted to know if I could meet him for lunch.”

  Sharris grimaced. “And you said you couldn’t? What else do you have to do?”

  “Yea, Marna, what else do you have to do that’s better than looking across a table with someone that looks like him?”

  “I can be someplace where he won’t be looking at me.” Marna stood up. “I have a few calls to make so I’m going to my room. We have a couple past due accounts I need to follow up on.” Without waiting for an answer, she left the room.

  Sharris sighed. “She’s crazy. If I had a chance to date that man, I’d do it in a heartbeat. He sees something in her. The whole time he was here yesterday, everything he said was directed her way. I may as well have not even been in the room. You didn’t miss a thing by not joining us, Taryn. You’d have been as neglected as I was.”

  Taryn laughed. “So that’s what’s bothering you this morning. I never thought I’d see the day you were jealous of Marna.”

  “I’m not jealous. I may be a little angry. I mean, how many chances will she have to date anyone, let alone someone that looks like Donovan? And she turns him down. Maybe that fire destroyed her brain as well as her face.”

  “That’s a terrible thing to say!”

  “You’re right. I shouldn’t have said it, but sometimes I get tired having to always coddle her. Sure, she was badly injured and I hate it, and I wish it had never happened, but is she going to let it ruin the rest of her life?”

  “What would you do, if it were you?”

  “I’d get it over it.”

  “Really? Your looks are everything to you. Marna was never as vain as you are before the accident. You wouldn’t handle it half as well as she has.”

  “She just turned down a date with one of the best looking guys I’ve seen in a long time. I don’t call that handling it well.”

  “You’re jealous.”

  “Jealous? Of Marna and her scars? You’ve got to be kidding.”

  “I don’t even see her scars anymore. When I look at her, she’s just Marna, my sister that I love. Why can’t others, men included, see her inner beauty, too?”

  “What are you trying to do, turn me into some kind of ogre or something? I love her just as much as you do, but she doesn’t love herself. Can’t you understand that? She still thinks she’ll never be able to get any man, not even an ugly one. Then when someone like Donovan…..”

  “You are jealous. You fell for him, didn’t you?”

  “If I wanted him, I could get him.”

  Taryn sighed. “Well, maybe you should go after him then. Maybe Marna is interested in somebody else.” She hadn’t meant to say that, but once the words were spoken, it was too late to take them back.

  “Somebody else?”

  It was exactly what Taryn expected Sharris to say. “I just said maybe…...”

  “You know something I don’t. Is she dating someone? Is it a secret between the two of you? You stick to each other like glue. I’ll bet she tells you a lot of things she doesn’t tell me.”

  “I told you, I just said maybe. Is it so hard for you to believe she might have a life outside of this house?”

  “Yes, if you want the truth. It’s hard for me to imagine either you or her doing such a thing. Oh, this talk is ridiculous. I’ve got to get on the phone and call a few places that have hinted an interest in doing some ads. If we run out of customers, we’ve had it, you know.” Saying no more, Sharris left the room.

  Taryn never moved from the table where she was sitting. She didn’t like how close she’d come to blurting out Marna’s feelings about Devon. She’d promised to keep everything she’d told her a secret. She could just imagine how Sharris would react. She’d probably tell her Marna should be thrilled that one handsome man had taken enough interest in her to ask her out and she shouldn’t be gullible enough to think another one would, too.

  “Oh, Sharris!” Taryn whispered. “I know you love Marna as much as I do, but you don’t understand her and you don’t understand me. She can’t help being self-conscious about her looks any more than I can muster the will powe
r to lose this excess weight. You don’t have any inferiority complexes. You only have beauty and an outgoing personality. You have no idea what it’s like for us.”

  In her room, Marna sat on the edge of her bed, staring at nothing but the walls surrounding her. Maybe she should have accepted Donovan’s invitation. Maybe she was putting too much into it by thinking he was only asking because he felt sorry for her. But then again, maybe that was exactly why he’d done it.

  What would she have done if the caller had been Devon and not Donovan? Why couldn’t she get him out of her mind? Why didn’t she feel the same way about both of them? Neither of them would ever want to be more than friends anyway, so why make a difference between them?

  She had no control over the feelings of her heart. If she allowed herself to believe the truth, she would accept the fact that she’d fallen really hard for Devon the minute he’d closed his arms around her that day. To him, it had been simply a hug between old friends. To her, it had been so much more.

  She heard the doorbell ring but never moved. One of her sisters would answer it. It was probably for Sharris. She was the only one that ever had visitors. She sighed. She didn’t want to envy her sister, but sometimes it happened despite her best intentions. Someday, Sharris and Taryn would both fall in love, get married and have children. Yes, Sharris would get tired of moving from one man to another and find the one she wanted to be with forever. Taryn would, too, in spite of her weight and in spite of her shyness. Maybe because of it. Maybe, there was someone somewhere searching for a quiet natured, rounded out woman.

  A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts, then the voice of Sharris. “Devon’s here to see you.”

  Devon was there? To see her? She felt her heart speed up involuntarily. Why? What did he want?

  Her door opened and Sharris looked into the room. “You okay?”

  Marna stood up and smiled at her sister. “I’m good.” Without saying more, she passed by Sharris and started toward the living room.

  She stopped in the doorway. He was standing by the window with his back to her. For a moment, she stood still, looking at him. He was so tall. His Levis fit to perfection and the yellow pullover shirt pulled taut across his shoulders accentuated his beautiful dark hair and skin. She could have stayed there forever, just watching him. He was everything in a man she could ever dream of.